The Loneliest Dragon at Christmas (An MM Monster Christmas #2)

Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

“ Y ou sure I can’t get you anything?” Lachlan knelt on the floor, patting Kit, his cat familiar, who lay curled on a cushion beneath a table. “How about some more camomile-and-orange tea? That’s a good remedy to lift one’s spirits. Or some sugar cookies? Cas decorated some that look like Christmas trees today.”

Jack continued to sweep the bakery floor. Sugar cookies to show love and affection and spread joy and cheer. Jack didn’t feel like that right now. “No, thanks. Maybe later.”

Lachlan’s gaze remained on Jack. “I think I’ll make a nut loaf today.” Nut loaf to ground and fill, good for providing stability and strength.

“That might be nice,” Jack said. He didn’t feel like eating a nut loaf, but he didn’t want to keep rejecting his brother’s offer to care for him.

Lachlan smiled and moved to the shelves, selecting the ingredients.

That was the thing about being part of a family of hearth and kitchen witches. When someone needed looking after, everyone baked, cooked, and made ridiculous amounts of tea for the individual. Didn’t matter if they were sick, tired, worn out, grieving, or heartbroken. There was a tea, cake, or soup to help.

Cas had taken one look at Jack last night and quickly brewed a lemon balm tea with lots of honey to help soothe his soul.

His siblings had asked what happened. He’d said he didn’t want to talk about it. They hadn’t pressed, not yet anyway. Jack appreciated that. But then everyone had started baking, cooking, and brewing. They’d offered him potato and squash soup, ginger cookies, an onion loaf, date tarts, and chocolate brownies.

Keeping his head down, Jack focused on sweeping. He concentrated on cleansing the space of any negativity, whilst also trying to cleanse his own mind of confusing thoughts.

He couldn’t bake today. His energy was wrong, and it would taint his cooking. He didn’t want to put that energy out into the world. His siblings understood.

Jack kept thinking over what had happened the previous night. He’d felt so out of his comfort zone, so coarse, so uncouth, so inadequate.

The ridiculous thing was that he’d had one of the best nights of his life at the Christmas markets with Avery.

But then yesterday…sitting in Avery’s apartments, he’d felt as if his very presence sullied the space. He’d felt like he smeared pig shit onto the immaculate floor with each and every step of his worn boots. And then he’d broken the vase. A vase he couldn’t afford to replace.

The problem was that Jack really liked Avery, at least when they weren’t in Avery’s home. But what possible future could they have if Jack felt so inferior?

They didn’t belong together. Plain and simple. They came from different classes. Jack was poor. Avery was rich. Jack lived in Hovel Quarter. Avery lived in the hoity-toity part of town. Not to mention Avery was a living, breathing dragon and Jack was just a witch. They were just too different.

Where would they live if they ended up together? Jack didn’t belong in Avery’s home, and Avery certainly didn’t belong in Jack’s. Even the idea of Jack showing Avery the tiny room he shared with Lachlan made his skin prickle with shame and humiliation.

It didn’t help that Jack felt guilty as fuck too. He’d been a right arse, running out on Avery like that. But he’d felt so wretched.

Now he couldn’t forget the hurt in Avery’s voice. Jack squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. But it was unavoidable. They got along well, but they couldn’t be together. Best to end it now before either of them got too attached.

“Not a lot of customers today. Too much snow, I think.” Lacy came around the back. She glanced at Jack. “I’m putting the kettle on. I’m making peppermint tea.” Lacy pulled out cups, not even asking Jack if he wanted one.

Peppermint was good for calming and refreshing the soul and cleansing it of pain.

The back door opened.

“Cauldrons and clusterfucks! It’s really snowing out there.” Grady brushed the snow from his coat. “If it keeps up, the Christmas markets might close.” He placed several crates by the back door and heaved a sigh.

Jack then closed the door and turned. Grady paused, looking at Jack. “I’ll make you some rosemary and green tea.” He clapped Jack on the shoulder. Rosemary had excellent purification qualities.

“I’m already making him peppermint.” Lacy plucked leaves from the plant that grew by the window and placed them in a pot.

“Add some ginger.” Grady started to unpack the crates.

Lacy reached for the jar of dried and ground ginger root.

Warmth filled Jack’s chest, his family’s love and care soothing some of the hurt.

Their house and bakery might be run-down, the wallpaper faded and browned, and some window frames and shelves definitely needed repairs, but love filled this space. He didn’t need a fancy home with exotic flowers and fresh summer berry tarts to be happy.

Of course, he didn’t feel happy right now.

He just wished he hadn’t run off like that yesterday. It had been rude and cruel. And Avery deserved so much better. Jack rubbed a hand over his face.

“Jack.” Cas leaned over the bench that separated the front area of the bakery from the back. Cas’s wings fluttered rapidly. “Avery is coming.”

The bell tinkled. Jack turned in time to see Avery enter the bakery. Avery glanced around nervously, then his eyes fell on Jack. A smile blossomed. Then died as quickly as it had appeared as he took in the expression on Jack’s face.

Pain tightened in Jack’s gut.

“I’ll serve.” Jack put down the broom. He wiped his hands on the apron and came around to the front. He could feel his siblings’ gazes burning into him.

Jack was glad no other customers were in the bakery at the moment. As Lacy said, the heavy snowfall must be keeping them away.

But it didn’t keep Avery away. He’d come from the other side of town.

“Hi, Jack.” Avery approached the counter.

“Hi, Avery.” Jack tried to smile. “What can I get you?”

Avery didn’t respond for several moments. Then he spoke, voice only just above a whisper, “What did I do wrong?”

Jack’s ribs squeezed.

“I’m sorry.” Avery leaned forward. “I’m not used to having guests, and I’m so sorry?—”

“You did nothing wrong, Avery,” Jack interrupted. “Nothing.” Jack couldn’t stand the idea that Avery thought he’d been at fault. “We’re just?—”

He met Avery’s brilliant golden eyes, brimming with raw vulnerability. Jack dropped his gaze to the wooden counter. “I just don’t think we’ll work out, you and me.”

Unable to stop himself, he looked into Avery’s eyes. The pain he saw punched Jack in the gut. Swallowing, Jack forced himself to keep his gaze on Avery even though he wanted to look away.

“Oh.” The strain in Avery’s voice cut Jack to the heart. “I see.”

“You’re amazing, Avery,” Jack said quickly. “Really. Someone will be very lucky to have you.”

“But not you.” Avery blinked rapidly, gaze searching Jack’s face. “You don’t want me.”

Jack’s throat constricted. He wanted to take back his words. He wanted to tell Avery how much he wanted him. But he couldn’t. They couldn’t work out when Jack was so beneath the dragon before him. “I’m sorry.”

Avery nodded and took a step back. His lips spasmed into an attempt at a smile. “It’s fine. It’s fine. Thank you for telling me.” Then he turned and rushed from the bakery.

The bell tinkled as Avery stepped out into the snow.

Jack let out a breath and sagged forward against the counter.

This is for the best. We would never have worked out.

Better to end things now before he grew attached and did something foolish, like fall in love and want a future with the rich, pretty dragon.

“Jack,” Lacy said softly.

Jack turned to see his siblings watching him.

“Tea?” She held out the steaming cup.