The Man with the Knot (Forbidden Fun #55)

Chapter 1

1

Morgan

I stretch my legs across the width of my bed, lamenting the fact that I still need to shave them before I go to sleep but too lazy to really want to commit to such a tedious task.

When the heck was the last time I shaved, anyways? I frown, rubbing at the stubble with the back of my foot. No one will want to hook up with a girl who looks like a werewolf. Or maybe there will be a werewolf man? Who knows?

Get a hold of yourself , my brain commands. Come on, back to reality, Morgs.

It’s all I can do to control my mind because it’s been doing cerebral gymnastics for the last two days, trying to wrap up projects at work while also getting ready for my short, but much needed vacation.

Shave legs, remember toothbrush, should I bring condoms, or is that too presumptuous? Oh crap, I better snag a sweater for the plane.

“And then I had to ask what exactly that move was , because while I might be learning a lot, there’s a whole other world of naughty out there. It’s easier to execute than one might think…”

I blink, having almost forgotten that I was on the phone with my best friend, Tanya.

“Sure,” I insert quickly. “I mean, you’ve got some good teachers,” I offer.

“Exactly,” Tanya says with a satisfied smile. “And then did I tell you…”

Her voice fades in my mind as my attention wanders back to my trip. Did I remember to set my out of office message? Shoot, I still haven’t picked up my dry-cleaning. Not that I need it for the trip, but I will when I get back.

Out loud, I accidentally sigh.

“A sigh, really? Is my sex life that boring?” Tanya demands through the phone screen.

I giggle and shake my head vehemently, even though she can’t see me since I’m standing across the room. I feel bad that I haven’t been able to focus on her usually fascinating tales but I’m getting antsy about my to-do list. I haven’t taken a vacation by myself pretty much ever, and it’s proving more daunting than I realized it would be.

“Oh no, your sex-capades are anything but boring,” I assure her quickly. “I was distracted by how dull my life is in comparison,” I say to my hot-headed best friend.

In fact, as much as I’m embarrassed to admit it, Tanya’s no-holes-barred ( pun intended ) account of life with six sexy men is making me a little wet and more than a little jealous. Sometimes I deliberately tune her out, just so I don’t end up offering to join in the melee. Then again, I don’t really want to be naked with another woman, even if it’s my buddy. Tanya’s cute, but I don’t swing that way.

Maybe you should swing that way , the voice in my head chides. It’s been forever since you got some.

I merely shake my head.

Man, this trip could not be coming at a better time , I think, catching another sigh before it can escape my lips.

“Your life is not dull, Morgan,” Tanya tries to reassure me. “Look at you. You’re going to some random ass island all by yourself, ready to have fun.” She giggles. “But I didn’t mean to dominate our conversation—I guess I got all caught up in my own stories. Sorry. Tell me more.”

I laugh. “I’m not going through anything, Tanya,” I say as I stretch out further across the bed. “And that’s kind of the problem.”

I can almost see Tanya’s frown through the phone, her bright blue eyes scrunched with concern. “Well come on then. Spill it.”

I flop over onto my belly and lean on my elbows.

“You’re going to think I’m nuts,” I caution.

“Um hello? I have six boyfriends. I’m surrounded by nuts.” She giggles, a bell-like sound that I’ve seen many a man swoon over.

“Oh my god, Tanya,” I laugh loudly, a small snort escaping my nose. “Your jokes are that bad and they still keep you around?”

Tanya giggles again. “Hey, these boys need me, as Henry, Carl, and Chris proved last night. I’m still sore. Especially after James decided to find me in the shower this morning.”

I blush crimson even though I’m alone in my tiny New York apartment. I swear that the cat-clock on the wall gives me a knowing look.

“But enough about me, for real this time,” my friend says in a stern voice. “What’s going on, Morgan? You don’t seem all that excited for your vacation. Did someone hassle you about taking time off?”

She sounds like an upset big sister and I smile at her protectiveness.

I laugh easily. “Look, I appreciate the ‘let me kick someone’s ass for you’ attitude, but no, no one is bugging me about taking time off. Honestly, I’m half-convinced that HRA has no idea that I even work there. The lady looked super confused when I put in my request for time off.”

HRA, or Human Resources Administration, is a bureaucracy in New York City. The organization is designed to support people in need by helping them apply for food stamps, cash assistance, and other such government programs. It’s a great cause, but as an entry-level employee, most days I feel like I’m completely out of my element among the seasoned employees.

And then when Tanya left to live her dream life, I realized that I don’t really know that many people in my office. At least not on a personal level. I’ve been trying to go to the happy hours now and again but being a 22-year-old and surrounded by people with kids my age, I don’t end up spending a lot of one-on-one time with my colleagues.

Tanya clucks sympathetically. “You’re young and you’re brand new at the office. It’s only been a few months. Heck, I was still getting lost on our floor two months in. You’ll find your footing.” She pauses before pressing on. “So, if it’s not trouble at work, then what’s up?”

I wince, my cheeks flushing once more even though she can’t see me. “Nope, I’m not confessing this to you.”

I can practically see Tanya roll her eyes. “Morgan, please. You know all my dirty little secrets. And their names are…”

“Okay, okay, fair!” I interrupt. “I just… I’ve been feeling a little lonely on the dating front. And you know it’s Valentine’s soon too, which only makes me more depressed.”

“I get it, I’ve been there.” Tanya stops talking, clearly ready to listen attentively to my woes. “Especially because we never really had good prospects at work, where you spend most of your time.”

“Work is busy!” I counter, feeling a little attacked by the accusation that I don’t make time for a social life.

Probably because it’s true . I have friends and I like to go out, but I’ve been in a funk since graduating. Not to mention I have loads of debt. Spending money I don’t have just sounds stressful.

“Work is busy, and it will always be busy,” Tanya offers wisely. “I’m not criticizing you, Morgs, but I do feel compelled to remind you that you’re not old and married yet.”

I nod. “I know, I know,” I concede. “Anyway, I have been trying to get out a little more. On casual dates. I downloaded a couple of apps.”

“That’s a start,” Tanya says, her tone encouraging. “So what’s the holdup then? I mean, if it’s all just for fun, cool. But it doesn’t exactly sound like you’re having fun.”

“How you’d guess?” I ask in a dry voice. “I’m not looking for the man of my dreams or anything, but it’d be nice to find someone I actually like.”

“Why, what’s wrong with them?”

I shrug and pick at a fluffball on my pillow. “I’m just not clicking with anyone.”

“Sexually?” Tanya asks in a wry voice, one eyebrow raised. “Or how?”

I laugh. “No, not sexually. I haven’t gotten that far yet. I don’t know, everyone’s just so blah. Maybe it’s because I read too many romance novels about rich, handsome guys who also happen to be CEOs, and who also know how to woo a woman.”

“That does sound like a fantasy,” Tanya says gently.

“I admit it. And it’s just frustrating because the guys who I think are hot end up being complete jerks. And the supposedly romantic ones have no game—it’s all talk and no action.”

My friend winces. “That does sound bad.”

I nod in agreement. “I’ve officially decided. It’s unrealistic to date in New York City because there are no good guys. None. Absolutely zero. Zip. Zilch. Such a man does not exist in this city.”

Tanya laughs fondly. “Oh please. There are sexy, romantic men in the world, and they live here in New York. You’ve just got to weed out the assholes. And the weirdos. There are a lot of those, too,” she adds thoughtfully.

I nod slowly and roll onto my back. “I know you’re right, and none of this is news. Which is why my dating life isn’t actually the embarrassing part…”

“Oh?” Tanya doesn’t sound surprised but rather curious. “Explain.”

I grimace. “I guess you might not know this about me, but I’m kind of into the idea of manifesting.” I bite my cheek, wondering if my friend might suddenly think I’m a total weirdo.

“Huh,” Tanya says in a thoughtful tone. “Like you make vision boards? That’s not embarrassing.”

“No, no,” I correct her quickly. “I mean that I like to spend time meditating about my future and picturing exactly how I want it to go. I want a good job, nice house, and a hot guy. I spend time trying to lay out the steps to get to where I want to be. It’s sort of a wellness practice I guess.”

“And you’re disappointed because you haven’t reached your goals? You’re twenty-two, Morgan. You’re young,” Tanya chides gently.

“It’s not that either. I know it takes time to have the life I want. And I really am trying to put in the real work to get there.”

“So what then?” Tanya sounds as confused as I’ve been feeling.

“It’s stupid but… it’s the guy piece of it all.”

“That’s not stupid,” she assures me quickly. “But you mean not having a guy or not knowing what you want in a guy?”

“Not knowing what I want. I mean, of course I know that I want a super gorgeous man. And obviously my guy must be hung.”

“Of course,” Tanya agrees, barely hiding a smile. “That’s a must-have for sure.”

I continue. “Plus, I need the usual romance and flowers and good stuff. But even all of that isn’t quite right. I can’t put it into words, but I can’t manifest my perfect guy because he’s missing something…”

Tanya laughs. “I would make some joke about such a guy actually existing but…”

“Huh,” I muse, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. “Maybe you stole all six of the only ones remaining in the world,” I tease her. “You’re the only woman in the world with six boyfriends, as far as I know.”

“It just means that anything’s possible,” Tanya says in an airy tone. “If I can land six men, then you can definitely find one.”

I nod.

“I just need the one. The perfect one. That’s all.”

“Morgan,” Tanya begins, her tone serious. “I like that you’re dreaming big. But remember, you have to kiss a lot of frogs first, and meet a lot of duds. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, okay? Not only because you’re so young but because there’s no such thing as perfect. What you need to find is perfect for you .”

I nod thoughtfully, not sure if I’m ready to take Tanya’s words to heart.

“Well, that’s my weird little confession,” I respond, feigning nonchalance but feeling even more dejected about my lack of romance.

“It’s not that weird. Manifesting is actually kind of cool,” Tanya argues. “I like the idea of envisioning an ideal life. It gives you a goal and it helps you weed out distractions.”

“Yeah. And I guess a part of my goal for now is to get the hell out of New York for a vacation!”

Tanya giggles. “Girl, you know it. That’s a worthy goal. Plus, I’m so excited you’re going to an island resort. Hmmm let’s see if I can figure out how this works: I manifest for you a Jason Momoa look-a-like. Beefcake arms that can hold you down while you caress his tribal tattoos.”

I giggle. “Oh, I’d definitely go for that. Or a young Keanu Reeves. You know Keanu Reeves is Hawaiian, right? On his dad’s side.”

“Hot island men are hot island men,” Tanya says authoritatively. “How many bikinis are you packing? The one with the tie-up sides for sure, right?”

I hop off the bed and amble over to my half-packed suitcase. “I solemnly swear that this bag is full of bikinis and flipflops and pretty much nothing else,” I assure her.

“Toss in a couple of short sundresses, too. You’ll need something cute for the clubs,” Tanya instructs me. “And at least one pair of shorts. Bikini top with low-slung shorts screams ‘take me.’”

I oblige my all-knowing friend and toss items from my open drawers into the suitcase.

“Headphones for the plane, lip balm,” Tanya rattles on as I open the top drawer of my nightstand. “Sweater but make it a cute one, not your old NYU one that has a bajillion stains on it.”

I throw items into the pile as Tanya lists them. I spy my dildo and pause. “Hmm.”

“What are you debating about taking? If you have room, just pack it,” Tanya urges me.

“My dildo,” I inform her, knowing that pretty much nothing can shock my experienced friend.

“Nah, ride some real dick.”

“ Tanya !” I squeal. “You’re so bad! Besides, I’m not really sure if I’ll find one that’s this good,” I explain cryptically as I turn the oversized phallus over in my hand. “It’s got a knot at the base.”

“Oh my gosh,” Tanya giggles immediately. “Are you serious?”

“Wow, I guess I can still shock you!” I retort in turn.

“Girl, there’s no way you can get that inside of you,” Tanya says, howling with laughter now. “Island men will be different enough. There’s no need to set unrealistic expectations.”

I look at the enormous piece once more and stick my tongue out at my friend through the phone. “I’m taking my battery-operated boyfriend. Might as well make sure I have some fun readily available.”

“Oh please,” Tanya snorts. “You’re going to have a massively good time, just wait and see.”

“Well, manifest it for me.” I instruct as I toss the dildo into my waiting suitcase.

“Jason Momoa, Jason Momoa…” she chants in a sing-song voice. “Keanu, Keanu, Keanu.”

I laugh but deep down, I struggle to believe that something that amazing could happen to me. After all, I’m plain old Morgan Latham, an average girl with average looks, a sub-average job, and a sub-sub-average apartment in New York City. Why would Jason Momoa or Keanu Reeves want me?

Here goes nothing...