The Marine (Black Hawke Security #3)

CHAPTER FOUR

brIAR

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I think I’m going to throw up.

Aidan Black, a man I used to know intimately, surrounds me with his huge, muscular body as I step through the doorway. The desire to both run and turn into his arms collides inside me in a Technicolor of conflict.

How the hell did this happen?

I was supposed to sit in the meeting, keep my lips shut, and then get the hell out of dodge.

Aka no contact with Aidan.

We’ve been really good at ignoring one another for weeks. Yet here I am, taking him for a suit fitting.

Goddamn you, Savannah.

I should have told her about him. She’d hate to know she put me in this position if she was aware of my past. But I’m her personal assistant. It’s my actual job to do these things for her.

Plus, she’s pregnant and stressed and I’m hardly going to argue over such a minor task.

So here I am.

The elevator dings and Aidan holds out his arm for me to step in first. I stride in as if this is no big deal and look everywhere but at him as he joins me. A moment later, we’re both silently staring at the metal doors as the elevator takes us down.

I breathe in his subtle, expensive aftershave and feel the heat of his powerful body almost engulf me. Hating myself for enjoying it.

“Briar,” he rasps and begins to turn toward me.

Oh god.

I shake my head as my body begins to shudder and stare harder at the cold silver doors. “I can’t.”

Then there’s just deafening silence.

I was expecting him to say more, but he doesn’t.

Why not?

I’m mad and disappointed and relieved. All at once. We can’t not talk to each other this entire time, so I try to take a mature and non-emotional position.

My eyes lift and I slowly turn, taking in Aidan’s tight jaw as he stares ahead. Like the trained US Marine he is. I only know he joined the Marine Corps because of Savannah. She knows all of Ryder’s friends and seems to adore Aidan.

I get it.

I used to love him.

His skin is more tanned than the last time I saw him, and his black T-shirt is straining against his biceps. I lick my lips before I can stop myself, and his eyes flick over to me.

I snap my head back.

Damn it.

My eyes press closed, hoping and praying he doesn’t read anything into it. I can desire this man all I want, but there is nothing on this earth that can change what happened.

Nothing.

The doors open and I quickly step out into the parking garage.

“This way,” Aidan says, and the headlights of a large black Porsche SUV flash.

He opens the passenger door for me, and I climb in. He was always a gentleman.

Outside the bedroom.

Do not think about that.

I glance around the luxury car, impressed with how well he’s done for himself. His name is on the front of the building along with Josh’s.

Black Hawke Security.

I’m more surprised that Aidan left the Marine Corps than joined it. He always said he wanted to be in the armed forces, and he had the physical size and strength for it.

Now, he’s even bigger.

His arms are thicker, his chest enormous. With his jacket off, I can see tattoos that weren’t there when he was twenty-three.

One was.

Not that it’s visible with his shirt on, but I know it’s there. Just as he knows that I know it’s there.

I blink away those thoughts and clutch my handbag on my lap.

Aidan climbs in and glances at me. “Okay?”

“Yes.” I nod and clutch it tighter.

The powerful engine roars as he starts it up, and as I glance over at his thick denim clad thighs, unwanted arousal shoots through me.

Great.

I remember how I touched myself with him in mind and suddenly feel naked and raw, like he knows.

Has he done the same?

God, no, stop it. Do not think like that.

“So, where is this place?” he asks, and the timber of his voice makes the hair on my arms lift.

I rub my hand up one arm and he glances down at me. Our eyes meet and I swallow.

God, he knows.

He knows I had my fingers sliding through my wet flesh, arching into my touch, wishing it was him.

“Um, take a left at the light here,” I say and pull out my phone.

I know where it is. I just need something to look at other than his fine body.

“Listen, if you want to wait in the car-—”

“No. It’s fine. We’re both grown-ups and can do this.” I clench my teeth, then point ahead of us. “Another left here.”

Aidan lets out what I assume he thinks is a silent sigh and does that turn thing with the steering wheel and his wrist.

Jesus, what next?

Is he going to change into a pair of gray sweatpants?

I shake my head and turn to look out the window.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothing.” I turn to him. “Let’s not make small talk.”

He snorts.

“What?” It’s my turn to get snarky.

“This is hardly small talk. Are you even going to ask how I am?”

“No.”

“Nice, Briar. Real nice.” Aidan lifts the arm closest to me onto the steering wheel and his body turns away from me.

You killed my dad. What do you expect?

“I’m sorry. Do you want to go down memory lane right now?” I snap as he pulls into the parking lot.

He spins around and glares at me.

I wait.

His dark blue eyes burn with fire and a million unspoken words. I hate seeing his pain, but nothing can change what happened. I didn’t ask him to protect me.

I didn’t ask for any of this.

My anger flares.

“Just as I thought,” I say bitterly. “Let’s just get this over with.”

I turn to open the car door, and Aidan grabs my other wrist. “Briar, wait.”

You little bitch, get back here! My father's voice hits me as I spin back, feeling the blood drain from my face as my heart slams inside my chest.

“Shit,” Aidan says, releasing me.

It’s not him.

I am safe.

It’s not him.

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AIDAN

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I WIPE MY hand over my face as Briar climbs out of the car.

I know PTSD when I see it. I don’t even have to guess what it’s from. I saw her abuser in action with my own eyes.

I’m a fucking idiot.

I should’ve known not to grab her suddenly like that. I don’t know how bad the abuse in her childhood was. I know it wasn’t just the once.

I do know it never happened again because the next day her father died.

I leap out and join her on the sidewalk.

“Hey.” I move in front of her so she has to stop walking.

God, I want to cup her face, pull her into my arms, and protect her for the rest of my life.

But that’s an impossibility.

“I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You didn’t. I just wasn’t expecting it,” Briar replies, not meeting my eyes.

Still lying.

Fuck, she infuriates me. For someone so intelligent, she’s so damn dumb. Even though I know that has nothing to do with it.

She loved her father.

Even after everything.

However, this could be the only moment in our lives that I have her to myself, so I do the absolute last thing I should. I take a step forward and lay my hand on her cheek.

“Aidan,” she whispers as her eyes lock with mine and she melts before me.

The stupidest string of hope appears inside my chest and I try really hard to ignore it, but I can’t.

“I’m sorry. Tell me you’re okay.”

Her green eyes dart around my face seeking answers.

“I don’t want anything, Briar. I just want to know if you are okay. Goddamn it.” I press my eyes closed momentarily. Having her so close and touching her after all this time is making me feel a million things.

The sun bears down on us on the sidewalk and people circle around us, but we just stand there staring.

Then I realize she has her hand on my forearm. Her soft small hand presses into my thick ropey muscles and it's almost as if the world is righting itself.

Did we move closer together or am I imagining it?

My eyes dip to her lips.

I lied. I do want something. I want her.

Even just one more time.

More lies.

“Are you?” I ask.

“Am I what?” Briar whispers.

My lips twitch as I force back a smile. I like that she’s affected by me. This time in a good way.

Is her pussy throbbing?

Are her nipples hard?

I can’t look away, but I know they are. I know her panties will be getting wet right about now, because I know her body.

I know if I was to slide my hands inside her skirt, she’d be moist and would moan a little against my mouth as I kissed her. I know she’d beg me to circle her tight little nub and lean against my chest.

And her head would tip backward when I press a thick finger inside her.

I’m stronger now. I could pick her lithe body up and slam my cock inside her with little effort.

Christ.

Now I’m standing in public with a fucking hard- on.

Are you horny, Briar?

Can you forgive me?

Two very different questions.

The moment shatters as someone calls out to get a room and my hand drops.

I clear my throat. “Let’s go.”

Fucking hell.

I need this erection to disappear in about thirty seconds. I’m getting fitted for pants and a jacket. It’s not going to go unnoticed.