The Marine (Black Hawke Security #3)

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

brIAR

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S pending time alone is underrated. It feels like all I’ve done is cry and think about all the things wrong with my life—when I’m not binging TV shows, that is.

It’s therapeutic in ways I had no idea.

Like I’m purging the old.

And getting clear, without anyone else’s opinions, on what it is I truly want.

Who I am.

Not who I should be.

It’s hard to describe how I feel as I step out of the hotel into the Los Angeles sunshine, but it’s similar to walking out of a salon with brand new hair.

Look, I know two days isn’t exactly a spiritual awakening, but doesn’t it happen in the moment? It’s not like I have to light candles every day for a year and sing kumbaya around a fire in Machu Picchu with twelve monks.

Probably not a thing.

But, my point is, everyone does this differently and I truly feel like I have some clarity. I feel new. In a way, that’s indescribable. Like a new start is possible if I just make some new choices.

Life is a journey anyway, and I’m sure I have days, months, years ahead of me as I become who I am. Minute by minute.

See?

Totally enlightened already.

I grab a salad and bottle of water in the hotel store, and in my flip-flops, bikini, and denim shorts, I head across the road to the beach feeling so much lighter than I did yesterday.

I walk along the sand, choosing a different spot and find that instead of bursting into tears watching happy couples, I’m observing.

Like writing my wish list.

I find a spot in the shade, drop to the sand, and pull my lunch out of my beach bag. The plastic fork is useless, but I don’t care.

In fact, I just feel carefree.

Or maybe I’m numb.

Either way, it does the job of getting the food into my mouth, mostly, and then I slide my trash into a bag to discard on my way back to the hotel.

I need to decide what to do.

I can’t afford to stay at Casa de Venice too many more nights, and the reality of what I did, just disappearing off the grid, is pushing up against my responsible nature.

I’ve always been a good communicator, keeping in contact with people. I don’t ghost my friends or family—even when my mom is driving me crazy— and I know they will be worried.

The twenty-five unread messages on my messenger are a strong indication. Still, I had to take this time for myself. I’m not sorry and I will not be apologizing for being unplugged for a few days.

A good-looking man scoops his wife or girlfriend up into his arms and runs into the water as she squeals. A pang in my chest reminds me I’m far from healed and whole.

Aidan.

It’s not Kael I’m thinking of or missing...it’s Aidan. I dreamed about him last night. He was lying beside me, watching me sleep, telling me he will always protect me.

Always love me.

I was pregnant. I never wanted to wake up. I wanted to stay in that dream forever.

The man and woman splash around giggling and then share a kiss. Tears prickle in my eyes even though I’m happy for them.

“I remember kissing you in the water like that a decade ago.” A huge body flops down on the sand, startling me.

“Oh!” I cry, my hand slamming against my chest.

Aidan drops his hands on his bent knees and just stares out at the water.

Jesus.

How did he find me?

“I’ll always find you, Briar.” He answers my silent question.

My mouth is still gaping as I stare at him, my heart pounding. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.

Wearing a pair of khaki beach shorts and a white T-shirt, Aidan looks completely at home on the sand.

His tattoos peek out of the top of his shirt and along his arm. Onlookers would question if he’s a famous model or a badass.

I know he’s a US Marine.

And the man I love.

Then he makes me squeak by tugging off his T-shirt and lying down. I turn and stare at him as he lifts his sunglasses and winks at me.

“What are you doing?” I ask, bewildered. He’s just turned up here, in the middle of my spiritual crisis, and made himself at home.

“Getting a tan.”

My mouth falls open.

One quick look around and, yup, half the beach is staring at his ripped eight pack and military physique.

“You have a tan. Go away...I’m in the middle of something.” I tell him, even though I do not want him to leave.

Aidan drops his glasses and continues tanning.

“Lie down, Briar.” His rough voice instructs me a minute later.

“No.”

He pulls at my bikini strap, and I fall back with an oomph. I try really hard not to smile, but this man... damn him.

Still, I turn my head for a moment until it fades.

We lie there for a long moment while I chew my lip and think of a dozen things I should say, but eventually I just relax.

I want him here.

Aidan’s hand snakes out, and he threads his fingers into mine and suddenly the world feels right again.

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AIDAN

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I already knew she was in the hotel by the time she strode out. Between speaking to the front desk and having Thomas hack their system, I found her.

So I got comfortable and watched Briar from a distance. I wanted to see what her peace of mind was like before approaching.

Not that I could know completely, but she didn’t look distressed.

She didn’t even look lost.

I always loved being at the beach with her. We spent many hours swimming and playing volleyball. Briar made friends with people everywhere we went.

The night we spent at Casa de Venice, though, I had her all to myself.

“How did you know I’d be here?” she finally asks.

“If I’d known, I’d have been here yesterday,” I say, my eyes still closed.

Damn I want to pull her into my arms and scoop her up. But I don’t. I need to take this step by step.

“I’m glad you weren’t. I needed to think,” Briar says, and her voice feels a little far away.

My eyes open and I lift up on one arm, twisting to look down at her. “What happened?”

She turns to face me, and I can just see her eyes through her sunglasses. I lift mine and she does the same.

“I don’t want to live my life anymore,” she replies, her eyes locked with mine. It feels like we are finally telling one another the truth.

For the first time.

“What do you want?” I ask.

She glances away, and I take her chin and force her back. “Briar. What do you want?”

“Things I can’t have. A dream I once had.”

She sits up and I do the same. If she thinks she’s walking away again, then I have bad news for her.

I’m not letting her.

Not this time.

I’m almost certain she hasn’t seen the news, and that Johnny Trevis is in custody. That her marriage to Kael wasn’t real.

“Why are you here?”

“For you,” I say without hesitation.

“You told me to go back to my husband,” Briar replies, and I can hear the hurt in her voice.

“You said you weren’t leaving him,” I retort, letting her hear my own pain, even though I know it wasn’t the truth.

Briar glances out at the ocean. “I lied. Aidan, I don’t know how we can be together. Or if you want me. I don’t know anything anymore.”

Fuck me, she’s breaking my heart. I stand and pull her to her feet.

“Before I tell you anything else, I want you to know two things. One, Briar Sutton, you have always been mine, and two, I’ve been waiting for you. All my damn life.”

Her eyes glisten.

It's then I realize she never took Kael’s name. His fake name. She kept her maiden name and while I understand many woman don’t these days, it feels poignant.

“I lied. There are three things. I’m also not letting you go.”

She lets out a teary little laugh.

“And I’m going to marry you. We’re going to have little babies and bring them to this beach. They’re going to have your beautiful green eyes, and our daughter will be brunette and trouble like you.”

“Aidan, stop.” A tear runs down her cheek as she smiles. “You know this won’t work for us.”

“Oh, it will work. I’m marrying you.” I say firmly as Briar’s eyes lock onto mine. “I spoke to your mother.”

“What?!” Her eyes widen and I figure I may as well just spit it all out.

“Kael isn’t who he says he is, sweetheart. Your husband is a fugitive. Was. He’s now behind bars.”

Silence.

“WHAT?” she cries, and a few people glance our way. “What are you talking about?”

I reach down and pick up her bag.

“Let’s head back to your room. There’s a lot more to tell you.”

I lead her across the road and back down to Casa de Venice. I find her card and swipe the door open.

It’s like she’s sleepwalking when she sits on the edge of the bed and stares at me. I drag a chair across the room and sit in front of her, taking her hands.

“First things first, you aren’t married.”

The last thing I expect is for her to burst into tears.

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brIAR

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I ’m not married?

As I start to connect the dots after emotions hit me like a ton of bricks, I realize he’s not entirely correct in what he said.

I am still married.

He may not want to believe I am, but I am married.

“Aidan,” I start.

“Kael West doesn’t exist. You can’t marry someone who doesn’t exist.”

I blink.

“So...”

“The marriage license is invalid,” Adian says.

I blink some more.

“Do you understand what I’m saying, Briar? You aren’t married to that asshole.”

I shake my head back and forth and then finally take his hand. “Baby, marriage is more than just a piece of paper.”

He sits back suddenly at my comment.

“What are you trying to say?”

Who did I marry? Who is Kael? A fugitive. My god. And all the things that Aidan said he did.

I feel sick and my brain is whirling with a million questions. But I need Aidan to understand that it's not that simple.

I was married to him. Energetically and emotionally, if not by law.

And until I get the marriage annulled, it is technically still a marriage.

“I loved him. I don’t love him anymore, but it’s not as simple as just reversing years of marriage.” The good times, the bad times, and all abuse at his hands.

“I know, I know. I do.” He nods.

But he doesn’t.

Despite what I just said to him, the fact that I’m free from Kael begins to unwind in my mind.

I’m free.

I’m free from the marriage—from him—from the abuse and the pain and the manipulation.

Free.

I don’t have to run.

I don’t have to hide.

I don’t have to be scared anymore.

“He can’t hurt me?” I say, interrupting Aidan, who is telling me more details about what happened at the wedding.

“No.” His big hand lands on my thigh. “He’s behind bars and he won’t be getting out anytime soon.”

I place my hand over his and he flips it, connecting our fingers. When I glance up, love is pouring from his big dark eyes.

“You saved me. Again.” I shake my head in disbelief.

“I’ll always save you, Briar. The question is, will you save me?”

I open my mouth to reply, but nothing comes out.

This man.

The day he never came for me at the park, I thought he had given up on us. I thought he didn’t love me.

It didn’t matter that I wasn’t sure how to be with him. I felt rejected and torn by my mother’s manipulation.

Can I save him?

My heart cracks open and I burst into tears again as Aidan pulls me to my feet and into his arms. We stand there holding one another as I sob for what feels like ages.

I’m not certain he isn’t crying either.

“Maybe we can save one another.” I say against his solid chest, and I don’t miss the irony of that.

He’s always been the solid and secure option.

This time I’m choosing him.

No matter the cost.