The Memory Dress

Chapter Eighteen

EIGHTEEN

Jayne

Maggie is waiting for me in the hall as I descend the stairs, dressed in a way that makes laughter bubble up inside me. Silver knee-high glitter wellies, despite the sun that’s already blazing high in the sky; a multilayered strappy pink dress that is ruched on the body and then explodes into a frothy skirt that is so full it juts out from her tiny waist like a tutu; a pair of white wings that extend far beyond her shoulders so that she’ll have to negotiate doorways sideways; a baseball cap with a bright blue letter M on its peak; and a pair of aviator-style mirrored sunglasses.

“You’re going in that ?” She lowers her head, allowing the sunglasses to slide down her nose, surveying my blue shorts, gray T-shirt, and Converse like I’m the one who’s got it all wrong.

“I was planning to,” I say, trying very hard to stifle a giggle.

“No wings?” She looks so disappointed in me.

“Awful as this sounds, Maggie, I don’t own any.” I offer a smile by way of apology for my pathetic lack of preparedness for this trip.

“Okay, well, that’s odd, but why didn’t you just say so? I’ve got loads of spares.” She drops her unicorn-shaped backpack and disappears back into the apartment, ignoring my plea not to waste her time, I can do without.

Davina appears in the doorway.

“Don’t let her boss you around too much,” she says in a defeated tone that suggests that’s exactly what Maggie has been doing to her since she opened her eyes this morning. “I’ve no idea what she’s packed in that bag, but it weighs a ton and I fear you will be the one left carrying it. Which dog are you walking today? Shouldn’t it be a day off?”

“I’m not. No one’s booked.”

“Oh, I thought you said last night that…” She trails off, understanding that the walk is for Maggie’s benefit alone.

She drops her head to one side and sighs. “Jayne, you really didn’t have to do that.” She looks extra tired today, like she could do with the rest. “You know where this place is, don’t you? Up near Claverton Down. It’s the Family Discovery Trail through Long Wood. We usually drive up there but Maggie much prefers to walk through the woods and wildflower meadows.”

“Yep, I know it, and as I’m going anyway, shall I take Margot too? Consider it a freebie.”

“Are you sure? That really would be amazing, thank you. I can spend a bit of time just with Willow. She could really do with it. We both could, actually.” I see the gratitude in her eyes, like this might be the first time all week, perhaps all month, that the two of them have a few hours that aren’t dominated by Maggie’s constant need to play.

Maggie returns with a not-subtle pair of white feathered wings and insists I put them on immediately.

“Shall I just carry them until we get to the forest?” I don’t know why I bother to say it, she’s never going to let me get away with it.

“Jayne…” I see she’s about to launch into a lecture on showing the fairies the respect they deserve, so I quickly comply.

“Much better!” she shouts as I feed my arms through the far-too-small elasticated straps.

“Well, don’t you two look like twins! You look amazing, Jayne,” chuckles Davina, handing me Margot as we all head for the front door.

Maggie slips her hand into mine and looks up at me with such admiration that I can’t respond. There is suddenly an enormous lump in the back of my throat.

“Right, we need to lower our voices from here on,” instructs Maggie. “And get Margot back on the lead. If she pees on one of the fairy houses, I will never forgive her.”

“Good point,” I agree, slipping Margot a few treats by way of apology.

We pick our way through the towering trunks of the beech trees, Maggie tiptoeing now, the sun bouncing off her sparkly wellies as she dips in and out of the shadows. Margot and I enjoying the relief from the sun’s heat.

“We need door number five,” she tells me as she ignores all the wooden play equipment, the rope swing, and even the seesaw. “This way.”

The place is deserted, too early on a Sunday morning for exhausted parents to make it up here.

“Here we are.” Maggie bends down at the base of one of the trees. “Look.” There is a roughly cut wooden plaque attached low to the trunk, the number 5 and a beautiful dragonfly etched into it. A folded piece of paper has been wedged between it and the trunk and I can see the name Maggie is written on the front. “She’s written back to me. I knew she would.”

Maggie sits on the floor of the forest and pats the ground next to her, encouraging me to do the same, then she opens the note and reads aloud.

Dear Maggie,

It sounds like your sister needs a hug. Please give her one from me and tell her the fairies are always watching over her. How lucky she is to have a little sister as special and kind as you are. And how is your mummy doing now? I will send someone magical to keep an eye on her and make sure she is happy.

Write to me again soon,

Trixie x

Maggie starts to pull pens, pencils, glitter crayons, stickers, colored stamps, and sticky tape out of her bag. “I’m writing back to Trixie now because I don’t know when Mummy will get time to bring me up here again. Why don’t you choose a fairy to write to? Have a look at all the doors and see which one you like,” she says. “Here.” She tears a piece of paper from her pad and hands it to me with a bright red pen. “Don’t forget to ask her something. Remember I said they love solving problems.”

I leave her to her letter writing and wander through the dell with Margot at my heel. Every tree with a fairy door on it has a note stuck behind it and the kindness is so overwhelming. All these children, having their imaginary friends brought to life through the kindness of strangers they’ll never meet.

My note is short and simple. Am I doing the right thing? I scrawl, before I wedge the paper behind door number 8. Then my thoughts wander to Jake, a veil of regret still hanging over my decision not to have dinner with him last night. Will he ever bother to ask me again? And if he does, and I actually pluck up the courage to say yes, won’t it just end in tears?

By the time I have circled the trees and returned to Maggie, she is putting the finishing touches to a picture she has drawn on the back of the letter. It’s of her, Willow, and Davina, all relaxing on a beach together eating ice creams, disproportionately large smiles on each of their faces.

“Can you fold it and put it behind the door for me, please?” asks Maggie. “I want to check the other doors all have their letters too.”

“Okay, but don’t go too far, only where I can see you.”

I watch from a distance as she visits every tree trunk, satisfying herself that there won’t be any disappointed customers today. My fingers hesitate on the letter in my hand. As I unfold it, I can see her uneven lettering, the giant capitals in the middles of words, the childish punctuation and spelling. I start to read.

Hello Trixie,

Thank U for helping my MuMMy and trying to take away her tears. I know she is very lonely and I do’nt want her to be. can you bring back the days when she used to laugh a lOt? and work less? when DaDDy was hear to make her Happy. I tell her U CAN sleep in my bed with me if U like and I will keep U warm and safe. Thank U for sending help! She is hear already and I like her very much. Shes a GIANT. Not like U at all!

Lots and lots and lots of love

Maggie xxx

PS I hope U like the picture. I used my new pens. The red one smells like straw berries. DO NOT lick it. I tried and it is not nice.

When I drop Maggie back home, I kiss her sweaty forehead. She puts her arms around me and squeezes me with surprising force.

“When were you going to tell me?” she whispers.

I smile and think about all the sensible things I probably should say to her. But I like the invitation to be part of her little world. It seems simple and kind and completely without agenda.

“I’m popping back tomorrow night, Maggie, so I will pay close attention to how your mummy is then.”

She nods and looks impressed. “It was very clever to pretend you don’t have wings. That threw me right off the scent.”

Then Davina opens the door, just as Maggie is tapping the end of her nose and winking at me.

“See you tomorrow,” I say as I hand over a worn-out Margot.