The Memory Dress

Chapter Thirty-One

THIRTY-ONE

It must have taken them hours and hours of research. There is old film footage and photographs of Diana that they have cleverly interspersed with the sketches of the gowns we have been following from Meredith’s memory room, so the dates coincide. Meredith’s personal story is intertwined with her professional one. The theme tune from Steel Magnolias plays as we see Diana walk the red carpet, before a slightly out-of-focus shot of Meredith and William posing on the steps of Chelsea Old Town Hall. The physical likeness between him and Fiona is clear for everyone to see.

The film pauses then on the image of Meredith surrounded by her coworkers, Diana, and Catherine Walker at Kensington Palace. I see the dresses we have been following come to life, followed by more of Meredith’s treasured sketches. A flurry of headlines fills the screen. Record-breaking sums of money, charities to benefit, women posing alongside dresses they now own. Computer consultants, real estate brokers, couture collectors. And one final headline that asks: “What Happened to the Missing Dress? 79 When There Should Have Been 80.” Then a close-up shot of the heavily embroidered floral gown in Meredith’s apartment that remains thrown over the back of a chair in her bedroom where I found it weeks ago.

The film closes with a photograph I haven’t seen before. It shows Meredith and William standing side by side just in front of the main front door to this building. She looks happy and relaxed, as if it’s a new beginning. She has her arms wrapped around his waist and she’s leaning into him, her face lifted up toward his. But there is a vacancy in William’s eyes that doesn’t seem right. He’s disengaged from the moment, like he’s smiling because someone pointed a camera and told him to. He looks shattered but also a little relieved. Maybe the move out of London came later than it should have done. Maybe having a young daughter to run around after meant he wasn’t about to get the rest he desperately needed. I look more closely at Meredith and change my mind. It’s not happiness expressed in her wide eyes. It’s hope.

The screen goes black and every pair of eyes is now on me.

“What do you think?” Davina finally asks. “She’s lived a very special life, hasn’t she?”

“She certainly has. What a shame she can only remember snatches of it.” I want to sound jubilant, to reward them for all the effort they’ve made, but I just sound sad. “She has the missing dress from the auction.” I shake my head in disbelief despite knowing for sure that it is true. “She was thought so highly of that it was gifted to her by Princess Diana herself. The fact she can’t remember this…” I can’t finish my sentence because I feel the sadness threatening to overwhelm me and ruin what feels like it should be a celebratory moment for us all.

“Maybe this will help?” prompts Carina.

“Maybe.” I try to think, which isn’t easy when they’re all looking at me expectantly. How will Meredith react to seeing this? “Maybe not.”

“We can add to this film anytime we want to, whenever there is something we think might help. Think of it as a work in progress. There may even be suggestions that Meredith asks us to add.” Davina’s presuming the film will make it that far.

“What you’ve all done is wonderful, really, I mean it…” Davina senses the but coming and tries to head it off.

“It’s got to be worth a try, hasn’t it? A few weeks ago, she had no idea what that dress was doing in her apartment. But, while you’ve been away, she’s been able to recall a staggering amount of detail about where she was at the time all these dresses were worn.”

“Exactly, Davina. That’s my worry. She has remembered a huge amount of detail about the dresses and, perhaps more important, about what was happening with her and William and Fiona, but she has yet to tell me explicitly that she made these dresses with William. She always falls short of making that connection. It’s become obvious to us, but it isn’t to her, not yet—and it may never be. I’m not sure why and I am worried about pushing her too hard and where that might take her. We need to be careful.”

“Jayne does make a very good point,” adds Carina, trying to shift the balance so I am not left alone on this side of the debate.

“Okay. Let me put it this way then. What do you think she would say to that dilemma, if she were here now and had clarity of thought? Would she want to risk it, if it meant even the slightest possibility that it may bring her closer to William?” Davina knows the answer to this before I deliver it.

I look at Jake, hopeful of some steer. What is the right thing to do? But he simply smiles and says, “It has to be your decision. You started this and it is entirely up to you if you want to end it. We are all here to support you—and Meredith—whatever your decision.”

I feel Davina squirm in her seat, she wants to try again to persuade me but feels she can’t after that—and not when my giant birthday cake is sitting between us all.

I try to reason my way through the problem aloud.

“If I was going to continue with the road trip, to follow the path of the remaining dress sketches, then that would take us to Sandringham and Althorp, which I guess could both be done in a day trip each. That would give us a little longer to see if the leads we already have on Fiona amount to anything. But then it’s Venice and New York. Not exactly easy—or affordable—options, are they? And a much bigger time commitment—and given how she has reacted to Venice up until now, I’m not sure she would want to go. I couldn’t risk it.”

“Don’t worry about that for now,” suggests Davina. “You could plan for the first two and see where that leads you. Who knows what will come to light while you are there? And we can let the Fiona inquiries tick along. We don’t need to make that decision right away.”

“What about work? I can’t expect you to cope without me forever, Carina.”

She simply waves a hand across her face, like the problem is barely worth raising. “I’ve told you before, it’s not an issue. Don’t let that be the thing that stops you going.”

“We can easily plan the trips for days when you’re not scheduled to work there,” adds Davina. “Dog walking isn’t a problem either. Willow has loved helping out. We can make sure Meredith’s place is kept clean while you’re both away and get her fridge restocked too. And those kitchen cupboard doors back on. We’ll simply take pictures of the contents and stick them on the outside. That should help.”

“I can take care of that, no problem,” offers Jake.

The mood of the room has lifted. They all sense they are turning me.

“I can’t make any promises beyond these next two trips,” I say with a weak smile.

“Absolutely, yes, of course.” They’re all talking over one another. Davina’s smile has returned.

“But there is one slight problem. Earlier today, when I raised all this with Meredith, it was very clear she wanted me to leave her apartment. I’m not entirely sure she’ll come with me after that.”

No one responds, but Davina sighs and her reaction seems to travel around the group, even making it as far as Olivia.

“What am I missing?” I ask.

“The obvious this time, I’m afraid.” Olivia cocks her head to one side and forces a rueful smile. “She’s not likely to remember, is she? The question is whether you can pretend to do the same, Jayne, just to see where this next stage of the road trip might get us—and more important, where it may lead Meredith.”

Put like that, it suddenly doesn’t feel like a difficult decision to make, and my smile reassures them all that I’m still in.

“Ugh, someone pour me a glass of that fizz, for goodness’ sake,” laughs Davina. “We’ve got more plotting to do. Isn’t it your turn in with Meredith first thing in the morning, Jayne?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Great. You can share the film with her then. I’ll email it to you now.”