The Noel Bridge

Chapter 5

Chapter Five

B y the end of their pie date, Evelyn had convinced Alicia to meet her for breakfast the next morning at Bridge Coffee and Tea. And the truth was, she didn’t mind. For the last hour, the women had reminisced, chatting about their childhood—how they’d spent hours reading in the top bunk in Evelyn’s bedroom, devouring book after book, and how they used to get off the school bus together and race Camille to the front steps of Alicia’s house. While they’d chatted, relief had taken over Alicia. It was easy to spend time in the past, before Bo, when her world had been happier. Remembering those things made her realize how much of her life had been wonderful.

“I get up before the sun most days,” Evelyn said as they stood on the snowy sidewalk before parting ways and heading to their cars. “Wanna meet at seven? Would that give you enough time?”

“I think so,” Alicia replied. “I’ll call you if I’m ready before then.” She was actually hoping to get there early. She wanted to spend more time with Evelyn. Revisiting her old life had made her feel unbroken for a while .

Evelyn reached out and gave Alicia a hug. “See ya tomorrow!” As she paced down the sidewalk, she called over her shoulder, “My next challenge is to convince you to change your flight.” She giggled and ducked behind a parked car before crossing the street during a lull in the oncoming traffic. With a wave, she disappeared behind the holiday crowds.

Smiling despite herself, Alicia climbed into the Tahoe and started the engine. She blew on her cold hands and rubbed them together, waiting for the heat to warm them up. It was nearly dinnertime, and she was hungry. She could stop by the diner for a bite to eat, but instead she drove the other way, out of town, toward the bridge.

Even though Evelyn had repeated what Alicia already thought about the bridge not having any real power, she drove there anyway. She knew exactly why. Real miracle maker or not, the bridge was the reason she’d come to Noel. With breakfast in the morning and a flight out after, this was her last chance to go. Tapping into the Alicia of her youth, she felt strong, but she knew her strength probably wouldn’t last, so if she was going to go, she had to do it now.

By the time the green clapboard of the old bridge came into view, she’d mustered all her courage. She came to a stop at the end of the line of cars driving slowly through it, their taillights bright against the darkening sky. She pulled out of the line of cars and turned down a side road to park along the curb. She jumped out and, sliding the keys into her pocket, paced across the grass, the snow already past her ankles.

The cold wound its way down into her shoes, giving her a shiver, but she kept going. Stepping onto the narrow pedestrian walking path paralleling the road and leading through the bridge, she was plunged into darkness. The only illumination was from the beams of headlights of car after car. She stopped midway to allow her eyes to adjust and leaned against the wall, her heart pounding. She could run out and back to the security of her vehicle, but she forced herself to stay.

She closed her eyes and tipped her head back, preparing to send her thoughts to the heavens. With a deep breath, she let the words go: Bo, are you here?

She tried to sift through the echoey shushing of the tires on the road, imploring Bo to respond to her. She’d been a good person. She worked a job of service helping others. There was no reason she shouldn’t get her miracle when all those other people had.

Bo… I just want one last chance to talk to you…

She strained to hear anything at all.

But as she said the words again in her mind, a tug in her heart pushed her to wish for something else, surprising her. She wrestled with whether her time with Evelyn had somehow prompted it. The more she considered what she was about to ask, the more she realized that the thought was right.

Bo , she sent into the air. Or God—whoever can hear me up there… I have something new to ask. I’d like… She swallowed, trying to get the words out. The silence that surrounded her caused her to open her eyes, and she realized the last of the cars had gone through. She was the only one inside the bridge at that moment. She struggled to see in the pitch-black darkness without the beams from the cars.

Mustering all her courage, her final thought formed and lifted into the heavens: I’d like to be able to feel whole again . Like a helium balloon, her words floated away silently on the air as tears brimmed in her eyes. How nice it would be not to carry the incredible weight of grief .

A sob rose in her chest as if it had been held down for all this time and only now was released. She suppressed it to maintain the silence as she pleaded with Bo to promise he’d help her. She was so tired. The last nine months had all but emptied her, and talking with Evelyn had made her wonder if there was more life for her—if she could just get through this. She kept her eyes closed and stepped into the center of the path, sharpening her hearing, knowing the bridge had no power, but holding out hope all the same.

A soft voice drifted toward her in a whisper: “I knew this would happen.”

Alicia gasped as she stood in the pitch-black of the bridge, trying to decide if she’d really heard what she thought she had. That line had been their inside joke—no one could’ve known it.

Bo?

Suddenly she realized that maybe Bo was teasing her for wanting to move on. Her hands trembling by her sides, she widened her eyes in the darkness to try to see him as the sound of shoes moved toward her. Every nerve in her body was on high alert. Would she get to touch him? Would this be her miracle?

Whack! She was on her back on the wooden walkway, someone pretzeled on top of her. Did Bo have a different scent in the afterlife? She grabbed his bicep, trying to right herself.

A voice that wasn’t Bo’s hit her like a smack in the face. “I’m so sorry.”

A familiarity whirled through her, but she struggled to place it without all her senses present. While she was still trying to digest whose voice it was, a blinding white cell phone light shined into her face. She let go of the man’s arm and shielded her eyes .

“Alicia?” A hand took hers and helped her up. The man moved the light to his face. It was Leo. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know anyone else was in the bridge. It was so dark…” He turned the light toward the walkway. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” she said, still breathlessly trying to make sense of what had happened. “What were you doing inside the bridge?”

He let out a tight sigh. “It’s a long story. Where’s your car?”

His brisk redirection was a tactic she’d often used, and she stared at his shadow, wondering what he might be there hoping for. She pointed to the side street just as a few cars drove past, illuminating the snowy route.

“Want to follow me back into town?” he asked, his words laden with an undecipherable heaviness. “I feel terrible for knocking into you. Since dinnertime seems to be our thing, and I’m starving, we could get something to eat.”

She hesitated, unsure what was holding her back. It could be a nice distraction from her thoughts about Bo. She could’ve sworn she heard him just before Leo knocked into her. “Sure.”

They stopped at the Tahoe.

“I’m just there.” He pointed down the street. “I’ll meet you at the diner.”

“Okay.” She got into her vehicle and started the engine while watching Leo walk away in the rearview mirror. She let out a loud breath as if she’d been holding it in and rested her forehead on the steering wheel.

It wasn’t Bo , she told herself. You didn’t hear him. The bridge doesn’t have any magical qualities whatsoever. It was Leo. But why would he say the exact words Bo would’ve probably used in that moment? She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to remember the precise sound of the voice. Had it been Bo after all? It was low and almost inaudible and there was no way to know. She wanted so badly to believe it had been her fiancé, but her rational side wrestled with her hope. The niggling feeling deep down, however, was that if it had been Bo, maybe he’d heard her asking him to help her move on with her life.

She put the car in drive and swung the massive SUV around in the middle of the snow-filled street, heading for town. The whole way there, her mind was a muddle of everything she’d been through that day. From her hospital visit to meeting Evelyn to the bridge just now, she’d been on a roller coaster of emotions. It was incredible how much she’d endured in a single day. She’d lived more life in one day in Noel than she’d lived in months back home.

She pulled up at the diner the same time as Leo, and they got out of their vehicles and met at the door. Through the window, the place was humming, the dining area lit brightly and full of patrons. Leo opened the door for her then followed her inside. He waved to the hostess, grabbed a menu from the stand on the wall, and then led Alicia to one of the few empty tables at the back of the dining area. He pulled out her chair and she took a seat.

“Funny that we’d run into each other two nights in a row,” he said, handing her a menu.

“Yeah…” she said, still trying to make sense of everything.

A waitress came over and took their drink orders, and while Leo exchanged a few pleasantries with her, those whispered words came back to Alicia once more: “I knew this would happen.” She racked her brain for context. If it had somehow been Bo, what would he know? That she’d be a wreck without him? That she’d put her faith in some ridiculous legend ?

The waitress left, and she forced herself back into the present.

“So why were you at the bridge?” she asked Leo again.

He put his elbows on the table and clasped his hands. “It’s all my fault,” he said, his thoughts clearly elsewhere.

“What’s your fault?”

His chest filled with air, and he turned his attention to Alicia. “My dad’s missing. I went to the bridge hoping for a miracle.”

“Missing?”

That thing she’d seen in his eyes earlier had made it to the surface. “He has early-onset dementia. He’s an outdoorsman, and I think he wandered off for a walk to find a good place to relax for the day because his walking boots are gone, along with a blanket and his fishing gear, but I fear he got lost right before the snowstorm blew through.”

“Yesterday?”

He shook his head. “He left Sunday before the first round of snow. And now it’s getting worse.” Worry lines creased his forehead. “Everyone’s been looking for him for the last two days. We’ve checked all the riverbanks and streams, the forest at large, but so far there’s been no sign of him.”

“Is his name Dean?” she asked.

Leo lit up, hope in his eyes. “Yes. Have you seen him?”

She shook her head. “No, but I heard the sheriff was looking for him when I was at the hospital today.”

“You were at the hospital?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m a nurse and I stopped by to… see a friend.”

The waitress returned with two sodas and set them down along with a couple of straws. They ordered food and then fell back into their conversation .

“I’m sorry about your dad,” Alicia said, her heart breaking for him.

He chewed on his lip and his jaw clenched. “Thank you. It makes no sense. He has moments of confusion, but he’s never shown an instance of being unaware of his surroundings. He might forget why he went on a walk, but he’d know if he was getting too cold. I’ve been looking everywhere.”

Now it all made sense. The night she met Leo, he wasn’t late for something. He was worried about his father out in the cold. He was looking at his watch because he was anxious about the late hour and his father being out in the snow somewhere. If she’d known, she would’ve insisted on going out to look for him with Leo.

“We moved from Chicago to Noel to try to keep him safer after he began showing symptoms of dementia. He lived with me in Chicago and would sit in my small apartment while I worked all day, which is no life, and I knew that with his condition worsening, our quality time together would be limited.” His eyes glistened. “I still remember the day I walked into the living room and set a US atlas on the coffee table. He looked at it and asked what it was for, and I told him it was our future. Then I asked where he wanted to live. He put me off at first, saying we couldn’t move. When I pushed him about why, he gave me a look and said because of my job. I had worked my way up to become executive chef at Claude Audoux’s, one of the most prestigious restaurants in Chicago. Dad said he was proud of me and didn’t understand why I’d want to move.

“My mom died when I was a teenager, and we promised her we’d always do what made us happy. I reminded Dad of that promise and confessed that I wasn’t completely happy with life in Chicago. I told him I thought I’d be happier in a small town where we could spread out instead of being confined to a tiny high-rise. And that I’d been thinking about opening my own restaurant.

“That got his attention. He seemed excited about the possibility, and the diner was really his idea,” Leo continued. “Dad loved to cook, too, and opening a diner had been his dream as a young man, but he’d given it up when I came along, instead sticking with his more secure job at the post office. I wanted to see him live out his passion before it was too late.”

Leo had put his father above himself, something Alicia could relate to, given her career in nursing, and she couldn’t deny how much his gesture warmed her heart.

“But I got so busy running the diner that sometimes I had to leave him home by himself, and we were in the same boat again.” He blew out a breath and peered across the dining area and out the window. “I keep hoping he’ll show up here…”

He pointed to a booth near the door by the hostess stand. “He likes to hang out there and read his novels. Every day the table is empty, I feel like I can’t get a full breath. We’ve looked for him everywhere, but there are so many deep valleys and high mountains around here. It’s impossible to comb through it all. Especially in the snow.” His eyes shimmered, his lips set in a pout. “We’re losing too much time, and he’s frail. I don’t know how he could survive for two days in this.”

“My friend is a nurse at St. Francis West. She talked to your dad when he was in for bloodwork.”

Leo met her gaze.

“She thinks that given how witty he is, he’s probably gotten himself somewhere warm and just hasn’t been able to let anyone know. ”

Leo nodded, although he didn’t seem convinced. He looked again toward the window. The snow was coming down as if someone in the heavens was dumping it by the bucketful.

With a deep sigh, he turned back to her. “So why were you at the bridge?”

She fiddled with the straw paper on the table in front of her. “My fiancé died nine months ago,” she said, surprising herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d said those words aloud. “I wanted… to be able to cope, to move on, because I feel like I’m in quicksand.”

She stared at the table for several seconds. When she finally lifted her gaze and made eye contact with Leo, his taut jaw had softened, his expression conveying interest.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.

“It’s okay,” she replied, using her standard response. It was an odd reply, given that nothing was really okay, but it seemed to set people at ease.

Leo’s pout took shape again. “When my mom died of leukemia, I had to learn how to live with a gaping hole in my life. It wasn’t okay,” he said, as if he’d read her mind. “It still isn’t. I miss her every day. After a while, that hole became a part of who I am, and I learned how to carry it with me.”

“Do you ever wonder where she is now?”

“All the time.” He breathed deeply and then exhaled. “My dad missing rips right through me and takes me back to losing my mom. I can’t lose him too.”

Alicia felt the prick of tears.

“Christmas is my dad’s favorite time of year. So if I have to lose him, it can’t be now.”

The clatter of the diner faded away, and in that moment it was just the two of them. Someone else who knew her kind of grief.