chapter five
luna
Lonzo
You ok?
Luna
Yup! Why??
Lonzo
You didn’t sound like yourself yesterday.
Ignore Papa. He’s pissy because he lost his favorite child to an NBA player.
Luna
Umm YOU’RE his favorite child!
Lonzo
He just wants a lawyer in the fam.
Luna
Which makes you his fave
Lonzo
Lucky me
Luna
Haha! Don’t worry about me, I’m all good!
“You look like hell.”
“Chloe!” Kriz swatted her arm.
I winced at the criticism. It would have sounded bad coming from anyone, but when it came from a girl who resembled a movie star with her pin-straight platinum blonde hair, it hit even worse.
“I’m just saying sleep might help.” Chloe’s green eyes flicked from my face down to my torso. “And exercise.”
“Jesus, Chlo!” Kriz said.
I shifted in my seat and fought the urge to tug at my dress. It did feel tighter, though I’d tricked myself into believing the fabric shrank in the wash.
Chloe shrugged. “What? Weren’t you the one who told me how exercise is good for your health?”
“That’s not the point.”
“It’s okay, Kriz,” I told her, not wanting them to argue. “I get where Chloe’s coming from, and I totally agree. I’ve been stress eating and could use some workouts.” Cooking wasn’t enjoyable when I was only doing it for myself, so I often ended up eating junk food instead.
Kriz gave me a concerned look. “Are you okay? Did anything happen?”
“I’m good. Just adjusting to living alone.” I exhausted myself with studying, working, and hanging out with my friends, but when I turned the lights off at the end of the day, the silence still blared in my ears.
“Do you want company? You could stay over at my place.” Kriz jerked up, her face bright. “I know! Let’s have a sleepover.”
Chloe piped up. “We can do it at my house so we have space to work out.” Suddenly, her eyes widened. “Professor Hottie alert,” she whispered, nodding to her right.
Despite myself, I followed her gaze to the cafeteria entrance, where Gabe was causing a minor stir with his presence. He rarely popped up here—probably to avoid unnecessary interactions with students. Or people in general.
Gabe wasn’t handsome by conventional standards. His nose was larger in proportion to his other features, and the frown lines on his forehead aged him beyond his twenty-eight years. But he had an air about him that made him compelling, especially when he leveled those blue-gray eyes at you.
“The way that man fills out his suits,” Chloe murmured.
You’ve looked long enough , my dignity scolded me. My heart raced even as I reminded myself that it was a stupid reaction.
Gabe scanned the room, and I moved my head so fast I got dizzy. But no way was I going to get caught staring at him. He didn’t need more fodder against me.
“Ugh, why’d he leave so fast? Kriz, remember when he turned around and wrote on the board last Friday? I don’t think a single woman exhaled for an entire minute,” Chloe said, laughing.
“We’re boycotting Professor Ho—” Kriz looked at me and winced. “I mean, Professor Martins.”
“What? How come?” Chloe glanced between me and Kriz and made a face. “Oh God, don’t tell me this is because he ignored Luna that one time. That was a year ago, guys.”
It had happened right after I met Kriz and Chloe at orientation. We were walking to the cafeteria when we came across Gabe in the quad. Not knowing any better, I did what any friendly person would do and greeted him—only for him to walk right past me. I almost wondered if I was invisible, and then I wished I was because he’d humiliated me in front of the girls I wanted to be my friends.
What made it more embarrassing was that Chloe still remembered. Though who could blame her?
“Of course it’s not that,” Kriz said in my defense. “He was a major ass to Luna recently.” She looked at me, silently asking if she could tell Chloe what I’d told her. At my nod, she launched into the story, and I added commentary along the way.
I thought Chloe would wave it off and say we were overreacting. Instead, she glowered. “What a dick,” she exclaimed. “I don’t know how you endured that car ride with him. I would have told him off and slammed the door hard on my way out.”
“That’s . . . a little extreme.” But I couldn’t help but be touched that she was angry on my behalf. Maybe there was a chance we could actually be friends after all.
“That’s nothing. Extreme would have been keying his car.”
Kriz laughed. “He is still a professor.”
“Who cares? Luna’s not in his class.” Chloe looked at me. “Forget about him. There’s a party tonight, and I have it on good authority that the football team’s showing up.”
The sudden switch had me blinking. “Oh. I have a test tomorrow that I need to study for.”
“So study then go out. The party won’t start till, like ten. That’s plenty of time to cram.”
“What subject is it for?” Kriz asked.
I winced. “Economics.”
“Ugh.” Kriz wrinkled her nose. “Not a fave, but I can help you review. Come over after your shift and I’ll quiz you while we prep. We can leave for the party around nine-thirty. We’ll have drinks, dance with cute boys . . . it’ll be fun.”
I bit my lip. Going out before a big test felt wrong, particularly since econ wasn’t my favorite subject either. Far from it, in fact. I didn’t want to risk a bad grade affecting my standing—not after that call with my parents.
As if she picked up on my hesitation, Kriz offered, “We can leave early if you need more time to study.”
“Not too early,” Chloe argued. “I don’t want to miss the fun.”
Kriz nodded. “Not too early. But we’ll get you a ride back if you need to bail,” she told me. “C’mon, Lulu—you’re only in college once.”
“And let’s be real. One test isn’t going to tank your grades,” Chloe added.
They both had a point. I could join them for a while then pull an all-nighter if needed. It wouldn’t be the first time.
No alcohol, though. That would kill the chances of me retaining anything I studied. And I’d only stay for two hours tops.
Smiling at them, I said, “Guess we’re going out tonight.”
gabe
Tala
How are you doing there?
Gabe
The usual. Busy.
Tala
Don’t forget to have a life.
Gabe
You never said that before Jason came along.
Tala
Yes, well. People change.
I stepped inside the office and closed the door behind me. As an adjunct professor, I shared the space with three people, which was far from my ideal scenario. Fortunately, we had differing schedules for the most part, and I often only had to deal with one other person occupying the room.
At the moment, I had it to myself—a relief after the chaos that was the cafeteria.
Going there at the peak of lunch service was the worst decision I’d made in a while, and not one I planned to repeat soon.
I placed my satchel on my usual desk and sat, mentally reviewing my task list for the day. Just as I unlatched my bag, the door swung open.
There went my moment of peace and quiet.
“Gabe!” Max Thorpe strolled into the office with a wide grin on his face. “I was hoping to run into you here,” he said as he dropped his backpack on the floor next to me.
Five empty workstations in the room, and he always had to choose the one beside mine.
“I’ve had the same schedule these past four years,” I muttered.
He plopped into the chair and kicked his legs out. “Not true. You swapped classes with me, remember?”
I pressed my lips together. How could I forget? When we received our class list at the start of this semester, Luna’s name was in my Finance 101 section. I’d never asked for an assignment change in my entire career, but I went straight to our dean to request one. “It was a single class.”
Max shrugged. “It still counts. Who knows, this might be the year you’ll switch things up even more.”
Not likely. Once was enough, and it still irked me that I had ruined my record.
I reached for my tablet to check on my lesson plan. After teaching the same two classes for years, I had them memorized—particularly the one I’d served as a graduate teaching assistant for. But I used it as an excuse to avoid further conversation with Max.
“So, have you decided yet?” Max asked.
My finger paused mid-scroll. “The answer hasn’t changed,” I said without looking at him.
“One day it will. Until then, I’ll keep asking.”
To his credit, Max was persistent, but then, you had to be in order to obtain a PhD. We’d known each other since our master’s program, and we’d both gone on to pursue our doctorate degrees.
At least, up until last year, when I hit a block in the research portion and decided to take a hiatus.
I switched to my email app, trying to ignore the prickly weight of Max’s stare on the side of my face. Why couldn’t he take the hint that I didn’t want to talk? When had I ever given him a sign that I wanted to?
Such a grump , a female voice tinkled in my memory.
Damn it.
Glancing up from my screen, I met Max’s expectant stare and sighed. “How’s your dissertation?”
His eyes lit up, and he beamed. “I’m so glad you asked.”
He launched into a discussion of digital assets, and the more he spoke, the more I dreaded rejoining the program. I’d had no concerns about the lectures and coursework and completed them without issue. The research and writing, however? Those were entirely different.
They were just so boring .
“ . . . should be set to present my revised draft at the end of the semester,” Max was saying. “I’m hoping there won’t be major changes after that and I’ll graduate in May at the latest.”
“Great.”
“Yeah, so long as things go my way. I just want to get it over with and move on, you know?”
I nodded. “I’m sure you’ll get it done.” Closing my tablet, I slipped it into my bag and stood. “Good luck with the paper.”
“Leaving so soon? Aren’t you ahead of schedule?”
By fifteen minutes, in fact, but he’d disrupted my focus, and I wouldn’t get anything done as it was. I might as well head to a coffee shop off-campus and continue my work there.
“Hey, you want to grab drinks sometime? You seem like you need to unwind.”
My stomach churned at the invitation because grabbing drinks never meant just drinking. It meant conversations too. Even though he was right about me needing to relax, socializing had the opposite effect on me. Also, I didn’t want to talk about how delayed I was with my own dissertation. “I’ll think about it. Goodbye, Max.”
“Don’t think I won’t ask again,” he called out to my back. “You can’t avoid it! I know where you work, Martins.”
I clenched my jaw as I left the room, taking care to keep my steps unhurried when every part of my being wanted to rush out. Interactions like this always reminded me why I was better off keeping to myself. There were fewer expectations and distractions. Navigating relationships meant exerting significant energy—energy I needed to stay on the right track.
Though as annoying as Max’s follow-ups were, I had to thank him for reminding me not to lose sight of the most important thing.
My goals.
They used to be straightforward. Get my degrees, gain tenure at the university, and build a healthy financial portfolio.
Then I got into investment consultancy last year, and my doctorate took a backseat to my clients. What began as a semester-long break had extended to a full year and counting.
I needed to get back into my dissertation before I lost my edge. Consultancy was rewarding, but everyone knew how volatile the industry was. Completing my PhD would qualify me for tenure, and while the academe wasn’t the most exciting or lucrative career, it would give me the stability I needed. My business, on the other hand, provided an extra financial cushion. It was the perfect combination.
I just wished I didn’t have to write a damn book to achieve it.