chapter twelve
gabe
Cesar
How are you, Gabriel? I hope all is well
When can you talk?
Gabe
I’m fine. Busy with work. I’ll call you back.
“That’s all for today. See you next week.” Nodding at my students, I closed my laptop and slid it inside my satchel.
It was finally Friday, and I was done with classes for the week. I could breathe easier knowing I’d have a couple of days off campus.
My hand paused in the act of closing my bag. I sounded like a student, which would have been fine years ago but felt pathetic coming from a grown man. Particularly one who’d chosen this path.
“Professor Martins?”
Damn it. This was the reason I tried to leave as soon as I dismissed my class. If anyone had concerns, they could raise them during the lecture. I called for questions for a reason. Some cases required discretion, but often, when students approached me after class, it was for purposes other than academic.
Glancing at the girl who gave me a coy smile, I suspected it was one of those times.
A few minutes later, I strode out into the hallway and headed to the office. Female laughter rang out from my left, and a flash of vibrant yellow caught my eye. Luna walked with her friends in one of those outfits that resembled a dress but wasn’t. She clutched Kriz’s forearm as they talked, her eyes wide, the way they were when she was engrossed in a conversation.
I hadn’t spoken with her since she called to thank me for the shirt I’d gifted her. I wondered how she had been doing since then. If we were friends, I would have said hello to her, or nodded at least. But one shared Christmas dinner didn’t change the situation.
Still, I could text her to check in. Surely she wouldn’t find that strange—not after we’d finally had an interaction that hadn’t ended on tense terms. Even though we couldn’t be friends like I was with Tala, I could look after her from a distance.
As I approached the office, the door swung open and out walked Max. Seeing me, he grinned. “Gabe! Perfect timing. I was beginning to think something happened when you didn’t show up right after class.”
“Student,” I muttered as I entered the room.
Instead of going on his way, Max followed behind me. “Why am I sensing that this student is a member of the Professor Martins fan club?”
My spine prickled at the idea. “I thought you were leaving.”
“Not anymore. Drinks tonight?”
I deposited my bag on my chair. “I have work.”
“Not at nine p.m. on a Friday, you don’t.”
“I run a business, Max.”
“And your clients won’t be checking their portfolios and calling for an emergency meeting with you on a Friday.”
They very well could be.
“Live a little, Martins.”
Why did everyone insist on believing I had no life outside work? It wasn’t like I never went out. I just had dinner . . .
Over a month ago with Luna. Before that, it was with her and Tala.
“I’ll think about it,” I said.
Max gasped theatrically. “What a miracle. It’s not a no.”
“It’s not a yes either.”
“I’m taking that as a win. Nine p.m. at Chamberlain. See you there.”
Thankfully, he headed out after that—likely to eliminate the chances of me changing my mind. Although I hadn’t said so, I decided to go. Tala used to be my default dose of social interaction, and with her gone, I needed to consider other options so I wouldn’t lose what little interpersonal skills I had. At least I wouldn’t need to start from zero with Max, and I wouldn’t be forced to try for a good first impression.
I could say yes to drinks once in a while.
After checking the materials I needed, I gathered my belongings and left for my apartment. The rest of the day passed in video meetings and market reviews, and next thing I knew, my phone was ringing. A notification popped up on my laptop screen that Max was calling.
Shit. It was nine.
I picked up and spoke before he could. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”
He laughed. “You’re still working, aren’t you?”
“Just finished,” I said as I saved my file.
“Turn off the laptop, Martins. See you in a few.”
Twenty-seven minutes later, I sat at a corner booth opposite Max and perused the menu. It contained nothing but drinks and bar chow.
“I can vouch for the burger and wings,” Max offered. “Ten out of ten.”
Glancing up at our waiter, I said, “I’ll have the buffalo wings.”
“Any drinks?” he asked.
“Whiskey neat. Thanks.”
“Got it. I’ll have that to you in a bit.”
Shaking his head, Max pointed his beer bottle at me. “Would you look at that. After knowing you for years, I finally have the privilege of drinking with the Gabe Martins.”
“Technically, we’ve been at multiple functions that had alcohol,” I pointed out.
“Mandatory events don’t count. It’s not friendship when the other person doesn’t willingly choose to be there.”
By that definition, I supposed we were friends now. It took us long enough . . . or maybe the accurate statement was that it took me long enough.
“Here you go.” The waiter placed my drink in front of me. “I’ll be back with your wings. Another beer?” he asked Max.
The rocks glass distracted me from Max’s response. Before I could forget, I pulled out my phone and typed a message.
“Am I boring you already?” Max said.
I pressed send and faced him again. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad to see you out?—”
My phone rang. I winced and moved to decline the call, but Luna’s name flashed on the screen. I quickly glanced at Max, checking if he’d seen it. I could count the number of Lunas in town with one finger.
Luckily, Max was busy rolling his eyes and swilling down his drink. He waved his other hand, as if to say go ahead .
“I’ll be right back.” I stood and walked to the entrance, accepting the call as I went. “Hello?”
“Is that music I’m hearing? And people?” Luna’s voice grew louder with every word. “Oh my God. Don’t tell me Professor Martins is out partying on a Friday night.”
“Why are you calling?”
“You texted me.”
“And . . . ?”
“You can’t text okay and not expect a call in response.”
“I don’t see the logic in that.”
“I needed to clarify what you meant. You didn’t exactly give me much to go by. Like, were you supposed to send a message before that one? Are you asking about my grades? My physical or mental state? Ate’s apartment?—”
“I was asking about you in general,” I interrupted before she could cite every possible question in the book.
“Why didn’t you just say, ‘how are you?’ Or if that’s too long, you could’ve texted letter u space o-k .”
My lips twitched. “Just answer the question, Luna.”
“Okay.”
I waited for a follow-up, but nothing came. “Is this your version of Tala’s fine ?”
“My grades are good and I’m not losing my scholarship. Knock on wood,” she quickly added. “I’m not sick that I know of, and the apartment’s still in one piece. Nothing to worry about.”
“And your mental state?”
“Why do you ask?”
“You brought it up earlier. Then you addressed your physical state, but not the mental one.”
She went silent, and I could imagine her rolling her eyes. “I’m fine.”
“You realize I know what that means, don’t you?” It was what Tala often said when people asked how she was doing, despite her being anything but fine.
“Yeah, well, it applies in this situation. Besides, do you really want to hear me talk about my mental health?”
Actually, I did. The realization surprised me as much as it might have her.
“Ugh, sorry. That was snarky of me,” she said.
My brows pulled together.
“I’m trying to nail this adulting thing, and people keep asking if I’m okay, and it feels like everyone’s doubting me, and it just adds to the pressure, you know?” She blurted it out in one continuous sentence punctuated with a sigh.
Her sudden confession caught me off-guard. I’d gotten used to the animated and combative sides of Luna, but this—her vulnerability—was uncharted territory. Whether she intended to or not, she’d opened up to me and I didn’t want to treat that lightly.
“Sorry,” she said again before I could find an appropriate response.
I ran my palm over the back of my neck. “Why are you apologizing?”
“I shouldn’t have dumped that on you.”
“I don’t mind.”
Her shock rang through the line, echoing my own. Although I hated talks that involved emotions, I realized I honestly didn’t mind this one.
“I asked how you were,” I said. “You told me the truth, and I appreciate that.”
“Oh. Well, you’re welcome.” Her voice sounded hesitant, as though she questioned the sincerity of my words.
“This adulting thing you mentioned—it’s not something you can perfect. At least, not from my experience. There’s no equation to get it right.” I couldn’t count how many times I’d wished for it. Life would have been easier if it followed the cut-and-dried rules of math.
She sighed. “It’s so annoying. But I guess having one fixed solution would take away the wonder of it all.”
Of course Luna would find a way to romanticize adulthood. “This coming from the person who wanted to master this period of life.”
“I mean, I want to be good at it, but I don’t want it to be formulaic. That would be boring.”
“It would be predictable,” I corrected.
“Like I said, boring.” Luna laughed, and it sent a tingle down my neck. “We can agree to disagree.”
I grunted.
“Wait, aren’t you supposed to be partying?” she asked.
Damn it. Max. He was probably wondering if I’d ditched him. “It’s just drinks with a colleague.” No need to tell her said colleague was one of her professors, much less that I was the reason she’d been in his class instead of mine.
“Look at you living it up,” Luna teased. “Anyway, I won’t keep you any longer. Thanks for checking in on me, Gabe.”
I wanted to say something more—and that was my cue to end the call. “Let me know if you need anything,” I told her.
“You don’t mean that literally, right? Cause you might end up regretting it.”
“We’ll see.”
Her laughter came soft this time. “Thanks, Gabe. Have a good night.”
“You too.”
After the line cut off, I stood there for a few seconds more. A strange lightness filled my chest even as tension strained my neck. It was a contradiction, and I hated contradictions. They made no sense. Logic dictated I should feel nothing more than a sense of accomplishment over fulfilling my duty to Tala. Why, then, did I wish I could have talked longer with Luna?
“There you are.” Max stepped out of the doorway and approached me. “I thought you bailed and stuck me with your food. What happened?”
I pocketed my phone. “Sorry, my call ran longer than expected. Let’s go back in.”
Later, when Max excused himself to go to the restroom, I checked my phone and found four messages from him and two from Luna. I opened hers right away.
Luna
I can’t believe I got so busy talking about myself that I forgot to ask about you!! I suck.
Anyway—Okay?
A reluctant smile tugged at my lips.
Luna was the most unpredictable woman I’d ever met. For some bizarre, unfathomable reason, I found myself thinking that maybe unpredictability wasn’t always a bad thing after all.