The Pretty Psycho (St. Vasili’s Academy #2)

13. Vega

13

VEGA

"It started long before any of us were born," Dimitri started telling the story I needed to hear. "Well." He chuckled, looking at Arseniy. "Maybe not that long." Arseniy's eyes rolled into the back of his head before his hand flew out, smacking Dimitri on the shoulder, which only made him laugh harder. "Okay, okay, I'll be serious." Dimitri looked at Adrian and me, and I'd be lying if I said I hated sitting on his lap, with his hand splayed possessively over my hip, while his fingers rubbed little circles over my clothes.

I shuddered every time he dragged his hand from my hip to my stomach, but I didn't dare voice out loud the effect his touch had on me. I had to keep him guessing, at least a little bit, but judging by the little smirk he wore, the fucker already knew what he'd been doing and he still did it regardless.

"Heinrich and Gerard were inseparable," Dimitri said. "Or at least that's what the documents we've found are saying. Heinrich was the older brother, eager to please their father, eager to learn and follow in his father's footsteps, but Gerard, well," Dimitri cleared his throat, relaxing against the backrest, "he wasn't a follower."

"Gerard was the Lucifer to Heinrich's Michael," I murmured, unable to look away from the photos on the table. I wanted to be shocked and mourn the loss of the only family I had for so many years, but something inside me broke long before these events, and I guess that I knew deep down I could never trust them.

I already didn't trust Heinrich, but Alena… Alena's betrayal hurt just a little bit more.

"Go on," Adrian grumbled, pulling me to him, my back to his front. I could feel it then, his hard cock pushing against my bottom, pulsating, begging me to do something. My body was nowhere near ready for anything, though, and my soul… My soul was still in pieces, shattered at my feet from what happened. I didn't want to give Tyler the satisfaction of having any kind of control over me, but the sad part was that I had no other choice.

I needed time to heal, to recuperate, and to become strong again.

I wanted to play with Adrian, to show him I wasn't afraid of him or what might happen, but I couldn't—not yet.

But that didn't mean I couldn't tease him, at least a little bit.

Relaxing in his hold as Dimitri continued talking, or more like, bickering with Jax and Dante, I slowly leaned back, resting against him.

The fatigue was slowly catching up with me, and no matter how much I wanted to ignore the signs my body was throwing at me, I couldn’t. Not really.

I was trying to pay attention to the story Dimitri was sharing, when Adrian wrapped his arms around my middle, just enough to secure me on his lap.

"So, Gerard decided to get the fuck away from his family and create his own empire," Dimitri said, reminding me why we were here. I had no idea how long he had been speaking or what was even said, but I pushed myself to focus on the story rather than the feeling of the man I was definitely falling for holding me to him.

Adrian cleared his throat. "My father never mentioned a brother," he said, while his thumb slowly ran over my arm. "I knew we hated The Schatten, but then again, he hated most of the people in our world, so I never really questioned it. We never went after The Schatten, at least not directly, but there was always an animosity I couldn't quite understand."

"It was the same with Heinrich," I said. "He hated the Zylla Empire with a passion, but I never understood why. Granted, Gerard was definitely one of the strongest men in the underground but there was something else there, something that made him obsess over the Zylla Empire."

"And now we know what," Jax said. "So, how do we stop them?"

Silence descended on all of us as soon as those words tumbled past his lips, because we all knew there was only one way this could end.

In death.

Either theirs or ours, but we weren't backing down. We weren't going to roll onto our backs and just show them our bellies, to spare us, to use us again.

I didn't know much about Jax's and Dante's families, but I doubted that they didn't know what was happening, especially not now. Jax's dad was pretty much in Gerard's pocket and Dante's family wasn't exactly innocent in this entire thing. Yes, they were isolated in a way, but that didn't mean they weren't involved.

"My father is currently planning," Adrian said. "He's going to bring in his best soldiers, because he knows this won't go away as easily as he might have hoped for. This initial attack at the Academy was just a tactic to try and scare me into obedience, thinking I would go back home if I saw the magnitude of what he could do."

"And will you," Dante asked, "go home?"

"No." Adrian shifted us, making me sit sideways on top of him, so that he could look at the guys easier. "We're in this together, and if one of us falls, all of us will fall as well. You're my brothers. You're my best friends, and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't both furious and terrified of what's to come. I thought we would have more time to plan, to recruit, to train, but it is what it is. I would understand if you want to back out and leave. I won't hold it against you."

Jax looked at Dante, who then looked at Dimitri and Arseniy.

"Go home?" Jax scoffed. "I don't know if you remember that night when we made a pact, but I do. I will never forget it. We're in this together. Sticks and stones, my brother." He grinned. "Sticks and motherfucking stones."

"Or," Dante added. "As you like to say." He stood up from his chair, leaning over the table. "No gods, no masters."

"No gods, no masters," whispered Arseniy, looking straight at Adrian.

"No gods, no masters, brother," added Jax, making me finally look at Adrian. His eyes shone with an emotion I couldn't place.

I slowly stood up, almost smiling at the little frown forming between his eyebrows for having to let me go. I leaned toward him as soon as I stood up, brushing my lips over his cheek. "No gods," I whispered, feeling the shudder going through his body. "No fucking masters."

He stood up fast, almost knocking me back, before wrapping his arms around me, pulling my back to his front.

"No gods," he thundered, pressing his chin to my shoulder. "No motherfucking masters."

Jax was grinning, Dante was shaking his head, and Arseniy and Dimitri kept sitting, chuckling quietly. "I guess we're ready," Jax said. "I just hope you're ready to deal with the entire Brotherhood."

"Why?" Adrian asked.

"Well, the first helicopter just landed and they're on their way."

A nervous kind of energy washed over the room, and I couldn't wait to meet all those men and women who were a part of The Brotherhood.

I couldn't wait to get revenge for all those that came before us and for all those scars The Schatten and the Zylla Empire created.

I wrapped my arm around Adrian's neck, loving the feeling of his lips on my throat. "I hope you know that the master part is only applicable for those outside of this room, baby," he murmured, his voice gravelly, making me close my eyes. "Because you own me, Bambi. You own every single inch of me. Don't you forget it."

"I won't."

"Good." He pressed one last kiss to my neck before moving back. My eyes flew open only to realize that the others weren't in the room anymore. "We gotta go." His long fingers wrapped around my hand, slowly pulling me toward the door. "Let's welcome our soldiers.”

I had no idea what it was I expected to see when we came down the stairs and exited the main building of the Academy, but a dozen or so men and women hugging each other and laughing was not it.

Maybe it was my own upbringing and the fact that Heinrich liked us quiet. Be seen, but not heard, was one of the favorite sayings of our handlers back in the day, and it was obvious that Heinrich didn’t really care about us and our emotions.

He wanted soldiers. Killers, and if we even tried behaving like kids, they would put us in our place, where every single one of those childlike dreams would die.

But these men and women… They weren’t terrified of Adrian. They weren’t standing in neat, little rows, waiting for their master to come. They weren’t trembling from fear because they had no idea what new fuckery their organization would come up with next. No, they actually wanted to be here. They wanted to help.

I didn’t know much about people and normal human interactions, but this didn’t seem like a group that feared Adrian. I had no idea what Jax and Dante were talking about, but it didn’t make sense. Not even a little bit.

Jax and Dante were walking ahead of us, Dimitri and Arseniy following at our pace, scanning the crowd with watchful eyes. I couldn't forget that every single one of these people was a professional killer, and friends or not, they could destroy us within seconds if they tried to.

I didn't exactly feel comfortable having all of them here, especially when I was still recovering and my full strength would only come back gradually, but I had Adrian. As fucked up as it sounded, considering that we were at each other's necks most of the time since I arrived at the Academy, I still knew I had him. He held my hand in an almost painful grip, as if he worried I would disappear if he didn't hold on to me.

I went through hell with Tyler, but I was slowly starting to see what my disappearance had done to Adrian as well. He didn't want to burden me, that much was obvious, but a fear that wasn't there before was now ever-present in his eyes. I had a feeling it had nothing to do with his father and an impending attack, but specifically with me.

I had no idea what love was or what it was like caring this much for another human being, but if it was anything close to what I was starting to feel for him, then I was good with it. I kinda liked it and I didn't want to fight it. I’d spent so much of my life fighting, constantly being on the lookout, waiting for any new drama to unfold and for the next mission, and I didn't want to fight anymore.

I was tired of the constant darkness in this life. I was tired of my own skepticism, and while a part of me still said that we couldn't trust him, that Adrian still posed a danger to not only my physical health but my mental one, the other part of me, the part that needed normalcy as much as possible, was telling me to embrace this, whatever this was. I didn't want to fight him, not right now, and if he wanted to take care of me, then I would let him.

God knew I didn't have enough people watching out for me, plus with all these new developments, my future was up in the air.

Everything was up in the air.

My brain was still processing the fact that I had a brother. A brother who wanted me in his life and wasn't trying to kill me. He wasn't looking to eliminate me, but to help me, to get to know me and protect me from the life that almost destroyed him. There were demons in Arseniy's eyes I was already familiar with and I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me that both of us had fucked-up childhoods. He had hoped I had the normalcy he lacked throughout his life, and I could see the disappointment that washed over him when I told him little bits and pieces about The Schatten back in the hospital.

He didn't ask about Adrian, he didn't push, he didn't try to tell me what to do, which I appreciated more than he could imagine.

I just didn't know what to do with Adrian.

He still lied to me.

He still had to explain everything to me.

His words were one thing and this attention he was showering me with another, but his actions… We will see, I guess. Only time would tell if what he said was true or a lie. Only time would tell if this insane attraction I felt toward him was only here because I so desperately wanted to have someone in my life, or because our souls were truly meant for each other.

In a way, he must have seen my reluctance to stay. If he hadn't he wouldn't have taken me into his cabin, and he wouldn't be holding my hand now as if his life depended on it. He kept glancing down at me, those dark brows pulling down every time he looked at me, every time his eyes landed on the ugly cut on my cheek.

My physical wounds would heal, but it was those soul-deep slashes that would stay open for much, much longer, and I had no idea how to feel about that. Not thinking about it helped, though I knew I was avoiding confronting those parts of me that felt broken after my kidnapping. I knew I was deliberately focusing on this war we had coming after us, because it meant not thinking about the fact that every time I moved and every time I looked into the mirror, all I could think about was Tyler and his depraved eyes staring at me.

I shook my head as those memories threatened to resurface, ignoring the worried look on Adrian's face as we kept walking down the stairs toward the parked cars where several men and women gathered, all of their eyes firmly plastered to us.

"Are you okay?" Adrian murmured. Arseniy's head snapped toward us as if he could hear him, narrowing his eyes when he saw the look on my face. I knew he wouldn't step in and try to smother me with anything I wasn't ready for, but the way his hands twitched and his eyes kept following my movements, I knew he wouldn't be able to stay away for much longer. Plus, Adrian was already slowing down until we stopped altogether, his attention firmly on me. "Vega?"

Dimitri and Arseniy stopped as well, shy a couple of feet away from us, and I hated seeing the looks on their faces and the way their eyes kept bouncing from Adrian to me and the other way around.

"I'm fine," I gritted out, unable to meet Adrian's eyes, because I knew he wouldn't believe a word I was saying. My right hand throbbed even after I took the painkillers that Adrian had left for me. My ribs were sore and the pounding headache could no longer be ignored. But I wanted to be here. I refused to be treated as a child, or even worse, as a victim, while the guys ran around trying to save the world.

No, fuck that. I wasn't going to confine myself to one room and lick my wounds. If I did that I knew my sanity would be shot to shit, and I had to hold on to what little of it I had left.

"Bambi," he grumbled. "Don't lie to me." This time I looked up at him, hating, absolutely fucking hating the look in his eyes.

I liked it more when he looked at me with contempt and a little bit of hatred than this pity I was seeing there. I didn't want him to worry I would fall apart, because I wouldn't. I was stronger than the monsters trying to bring me down. I was stronger than Tyler, The Schatten, and Adrian's fucking father. I was stronger than all of them combined, and fuck him for thinking I would break just because I was in pain.

I started pulling my hand out of his grip, when he tightened his hold on me, moving so he was standing right in front of me, shielding me from the crowd.

"Let me go, Adrian," I mumbled, ready to just get this shit over with. "Adrian!" I hissed, but the fucker just kept looking at me as his eyes filled with anger.

"You don't run from me, Bambi," he pushed out. "You don't ever run from me."

"I'm not running," I huffed, trying to break free, but the stubborn man in front of me obviously had no idea how to read signs because he wasn't letting go. "Please let me go."

"Never," he bit out, taking a deep breath before lowering his head until his lips came close to my ear. "But please tell me what’s wrong. I’m here for you. You know I’m here."

I-I hated this. I hated the way he talked to me, and it wasn’t even because he said something wrong. It was… It was me.

It was all me.

I just… I just had no idea what to think, how to feel, what to do with this pain in my chest and the pain in my body, and the last thing I needed was for him to look at me as if I was fragile.

"Let. Me. Go," I bit out, taking a step back from him. His eyes narrowed, nostrils flared, and before I could take another step, he lifted me up in his arms as if I weighed nothing, making me wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.

"Vega," he growled, his words laced with barely contained anger. "Let me make one thing fucking clear to you. You can be angry, you can be sad, pissed, emotional, hungry, sleepy, whatever…" he trailed off, breathing heavily. "But you will never, ever run from me. I won't allow it, not anymore."

"You're not the boss of me," I snapped, starting to sound like a petulant child, but I really needed him to let me go. Just to let me breathe for a bit, to let me feel like my old self. I wasn't used to this kind of attention. I wasn't used to a man holding me like I was something precious, and I definitely wasn't used to the looks of pity.

"No," he grumbled. "I'm not the boss of you. I'm probably nothing to you." Ouch. I tried ignoring the hurt seeping in those words. "But you're everything to me. You're the sun, the sky, the fucking moon, and I'll be damned if I let you run from me. The last time you ran I almost lost you, and I'm not going through that hell ever again."

I heard him, I got it. I understood, sort of. But he had to let me breathe.

"You're suffocating me," I whispered, unable to meet his eyes. "And you're looking at me with pity. I don't want your pity. I don't want anyone's pity."

"Adrian," Dimitri murmured. "We need to?—"

"Not fucking now, Dimitri!" Adrian bellowed, his eyes holding the hurt I knew my words had put there. "You think I'm suffocating you?" Fuck, I didn't want to get into this right now, if ever. Hell, I didn't even know what came over me, but seeing all these people, knowing I wasn't strong enough to fight right now, it all came barreling into me, and the pity in his eyes was just the cherry on top of a very fucked-up cake. "Do you?" he mumbled, his voice trembling as he held me in his arms.

I wished I could say I hated his hands on me. I wished I could say I hated the way he cared for me, but I couldn't. I couldn't lie to myself, and I didn't want to.

But I hated him seeing me as less than I was before. I didn't want him to see me as a fragile little girl who couldn't defend herself from her attacker.

I was trained for that kind of situation, and yet when the Tyler situation went down, when he cracked my soul, I couldn't do anything. I was too weak to fight him. I was too weak to do anything. I didn't know how to get out of my head and how to use the training I had.

I didn't want to admit that even though he had me chained to that wall, I could've fought. I fucking could have, and I didn't. I just took it, feeling like the weakest fucking person. Maybe it was the shock controlling me, or maybe it was something else. I don’t know.

I simply did not know anything anymore.

"I need you to let me go, Adrian," I repeated, lowering my head because looking into his eyes was bound to break me, and I didn't want that to happen. Not right now when we had a crowd gathered not too far from us. "Please."

"Answer my question, Bambi," he rasped. "Do you really think that? That I'm suffocating you?"

I had no answer to his question, because on one side he wasn't suffocating me. Not even a little bit. I loved his attention. I loved the fact that he didn't let me get away yesterday after I came back from the hospital. I loved the fact that he cleaned my wounds, that he took care of me and made sure I ate something before falling asleep.

But on the other side, he was suffocating me. He was everywhere all at once. He was in my bloodstream, and the more time I spent in his company, the more I was losing my independence, or at least it felt that way. I didn't know how to function this way. I didn't know how to let other people in.

The last time I did that was with Tyler, and look how that turned out.

"I don't trust you," I murmured, hating myself just a little bit more when I looked up, seeing the pure shattering of his soul right in his eyes. But I want to , I wanted to continue. Unfortunately, it was already too late to add that, to elaborate on that sentence, and maybe I didn't want to.

Maybe I still hated him for withholding the truth from me. Maybe I was just a mess right now, unable to differentiate all these different feelings coursing through my veins.

Adrian lowered me to the ground, his eyes unfocused, looking anywhere but at me while his throat worked, obviously fighting for proper words.

"You don't?—"

"Vega!" Yolanda's voice cut through whatever Adrian was about to say, and I was never more thankful to see her than right now. And to think that I wanted to silence her the first time I met her.

"Not now, Yolanda," Adrian grumbled, holding on to me as if I didn't just tear his heart out and throw it on the floor. "Bambi, we really need to talk. Please," he said, pleading with his eyes, but I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't sure if I liked this version of myself, and I wasn't sure if I would ever be ready to meet the version I could be if I let him in.

"Not now, Adrian," I mumbled, stepping away from him. His hand fell away from my shoulder where he held it, defeat washing over his features, and I just wanted to scream at him to fight. To fight for me. To show me, goddammit, that he wanted me, even with all my fucked-up pieces.

I felt Yolanda next to me before I even saw her, and I didn't miss the glare Adrian directed at her, or the little whimper escaping her lips when she caught sight of it.

"I'm going to stay with Yolanda," I said, determined to put some distance between us. This was all too much. He was too much and I didn't know what to do with it all. I had no idea how to deal with the force that was Adrian Zylla.

I wasn't sure that I wanted to, not right now.

"Don't run from me, Vega. Please, don't fucking run. Don't do this to me."

"I'm not doing anything," I said, but I knew I was. I was hurting him—hell, I was hurting us both because I wanted nothing more than to hide in his arms and wait for the storm to pass. But that's not how I was wired. Hiding was not part of my genetic code, but maybe I really did need some time away from everyone and everything to lick my wounds. "We're not together." I pushed that dagger a little bit deeper, hurting him with every single word, because even without saying it I knew what he wanted from me. "We're not anything."

He stumbled backward as if I'd struck him, his eyes wide and his face pale.

"Come on, Yo." I turned toward her, as she kept observing the interaction between us with equal parts shock and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on. "Get me out of here."

She didn't think before grabbing my hand and leading me toward the dorm building that hadn't burned down, taking me away from the man that made me feel too much. The man that for all his mistakes was probably the best damn thing to happen to me, if only I knew how to let him in.