The Pretty Psycho (St. Vasili’s Academy #2)

18. Vega

18

VEGA

Adrian kept looking at me and constantly asking if I wanted water, tea, juice, coffee, or something to eat, all the while pacing the length of the cabin while we waited for Jax, Dante, Arseniy, and Dimitri to arrive.

I was in shock. I think? Or maybe not shock but something close to it, because I could not believe my own eyes.

The moment I saw that photo, the oxygen intake cut off and my emotions started bouncing between complete sadness and anger I could no longer control.

His brother pretended to be one of the lost kids that had nowhere else to go, befriending me, making me believe in a fucking fairy tale, letting me think that I had someone in my corner. And for what? Only to use me years later. Only to destroy every last piece of innocence I clung to.

I had no idea what made me angrier—the fact that someone I loved turned into someone I hated, or the fact that Dain was the first connection I ever had with Adrian.

"I want him dead," I deadpanned, making Adrian stop his pacing.

My eyes found his, seeing the same anger living and breathing inside my veins.

"I want him to suffer worse than I had suffered. I want him to choke for air as my blade cuts through his motherfucking throat, while I laugh on top of him, making him feel smaller than he ever felt." I wanted him to taste just an ounce of what I went through. "But before that, I want to fuck him with a massive dildo, without any lube, until he passes out, until I rip him from the inside out."

Adrian swallowed heavily, simply nodding as I continued talking.

"He does not deserve to exist in this world and I'll make damn sure he never touches another woman ever fucking again."

"And we will find him, Bambi. You'll get your revenge."

"And you won't stop me?" I asked, because I had to know. If he was going to stop me, I needed to leave. Now.

"Why would I stop you?" He frowned, coming closer to me.

"Because he's still your brother," I said. "And because you've spent so much time blaming yourself for his disappearance."

He kept quiet until he sat down on the chair next to mine, pulling me along with my chair to him. "Vega," he mumbled. "He stopped being my brother the moment I realized what a monster he was. He doesn't matter. You do. If I have to chase him to the ends of the earth just to bring him to you so that you would get the revenge you needed, then I would do it. But don't you ever think that I would choose him over you. That's not happening."

"Okay," I whispered. "I just want you to know that I won't stop until he pays for what he did to me. Hell," I laughed brokenly, "I wouldn't be surprised if he had done the same to other women as well." I was so fucking pissed. My rage was a living, breathing thing, spreading through my body. "I fucking mourned him, you know?" I looked up at Adrian, hating the worry in his eyes, because I had a feeling that he worried I would flee again. "I mourned him because he was the only friend I used to have. I've spent years begging them to send me to the Academy just so I could find out what happened to him. And now this," I spat out. "My heart is completely shattered, Adrian, and I would never be able to forgive him for what he did to me. Not just now but all those years ago when he made me believe in all his lies."

"I know," he said, rubbing my knee. "I can't forgive him for lying, but what I'm feeling about him is nothing compared to the pain he put you through."

He was putting my needs before his, and I didn't want that. Dain was still his brother and learning that all this time, he was out there, living his life and plotting against Adrian must hurt.

"You know." I lowered my voice. "You have the right to mourn him and to be angry as well as sad. You're not a bad person for wishing things turned out differently, Adrian."

"Fuck," he spat out, dragging his hand over his face. "I know. But I don't want to mourn him. I don't want to give him the satisfaction. I am angry, so fucking angry on your behalf, and I'm trying to rein it in because deep down I know that he stopped being my brother a long time ago."

Oh, Adrian.

I didn't want him to hide his feelings from me, just so I would be able to feel validated and strong. I wanted him to share it all, good and bad. If we were doing this, then we needed to be honest with each other.

"Adrian," I mumbled, placing my hand on his cheek. His dark, tortured eyes slammed into me, making me see that this maybe even hurt him more than it did me. "This is not a competition of whose feelings are more valid. You wanted me to let you in, well," I smiled, "this is me letting you in. Am I angry, yes. He did something unforgivable and I'm pretty sure I'm still not processing that shit properly, but your feelings are also valid. Your anger is rightful here and you don't have to hide it from me just so I could have enough space to share mine. My feelings cannot cancel out yours, and vice versa. You need to tell me how you're feeling, otherwise I won't be able to help." His lips were pulled into a thin line, and just as he opened his mouth to say something, he jumped up, dragging his hands through his hair.

"I'm just so angry," he mumbled with barely restrained fury. "This rage," he turned toward me, making me see his hand now on his chest. "It's here, coiled into a tight little ball, and I don't know how to let it go. I am," he stammered. "I am devastated. For you. For me. For anyone who has ever had to meet him. I am sorry, even though I know it's not my place to apologize, but I'm still sorry." His hand wrapped around the glass of water he had poured earlier, sipping slowly. "I am also terrified," he whispered, avoiding my eyes.

"Why are you terrified?"

"Because you know the truth now," he said, finally looking at me. "Because we now know it was my brother who did this to you and I'm terrified you will leave. And I don't know if I'd be able to stop you, Vega."

"Adrian," I said as I stood up, approaching him slowly. He was like a caged animal, pacing, trembling, filled with anger and pain, and I knew I had to thread carefully. "You are not your brother."

"But we share the same blood!" he roared, throwing the glass against the wall, shattering it into a hundred little pieces. I stood there in front of him, calm, understanding better than he could imagine what he was feeling right now. "I don't want you to wake up one day and realize that you shouldn't have stayed with me because I actually remind you of the man who raped you." He shuddered, turning his back to me. "I don't want to let you go, but if being with me after this revelation is too much, then please." He pointed toward the door. "I'm going to need you to leave while I'm not looking because I won't be able to stop myself from stopping you, Bambi. I won't be able to watch you leave."

Every single word was breaking my heart, making me so much angrier on his behalf, because his brother didn't just hurt me—he shattered Adrian.

I wasn't letting Tyler, Dain, whatever the fuck his name was, destroy us. Adrian fought for us, but it was time for me to start fighting as well.

I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his middle, pressing my cheek between his shoulder blades.

"Please don't give me kindness if you're going to take it away, Vega." His voice was haunted, raspy, completely broken over what we found out, but I wasn't letting him push me away because he was scared I would do the same.

"I'm not going anywhere," I murmured, my voice muffled by his shirt. "I'm not leaving you. Not right now, not because he's your brother. I'm not letting him win, Adrian, and I'm expecting you to feel the same. I'm not letting him break us, okay?"

There used to be a time when I would run at the first obstacle coming my way, because emotions and these connections with people never came easily for me, and the more they tried to push through my defenses, the more I fought against it. But this was different.

I couldn't deny the connection the two of us had from that very first moment our eyes met on the train. I tried fighting it. I tried telling myself I could never trust a man who so blatantly disregarded the fact that he knew who I was. But I wasn't going to punish him for the sins of his brother, because punishing him would also be punishing me and I wasn't ready to let him go.

There were mountains we needed to cross in order to get to where we wanted to be, but this mountain, this hurdle, wasn't going to break us.

"Don't push me away, Adrian," I murmured, tightening my hold on him. "Don't punish us for what he did."

Another shuddering breath ran through him, shaking his entire body. His long fingers wrapped around my wrists, slowly untangling me from him, breaking my heart, because I was sure he was about to push me away. I was sure he was going to try and tell me what to do because he thought it was the best thing for me.

Alas, I should've known by now to expect the unexpected from this man.

His eyes landed on me as he turned around, filled with a fire I hadn't seen since before my attack days ago. Warm palms landed on the sides of my head, lifting me almost to my tiptoes as he lowered his head down, pressing his lips to mine.

I was powerless, completely at his mercy as he pushed, demanding access, his teeth softly biting on my lower lip as he devoured me. Seconds, minutes, hell, even hours could've passed and I wouldn't have moved, because this… This was what I needed right now.

Fear, desire, need, yearning, it was all wrapped in that one kiss, marking me forever as his.

My arms wrapped around his neck, and like a woman on the edge, I pressed myself against him, needing more than just one simple kiss. I needed him to erase the memories, the darkness, and to heal the scars on my soul.

"Adrian," I whimpered as his hand dragged over my back all the way to my ass, squeezing with a groan erupting from his mouth, driving me insane. "Please."

"What do you need, Bambi?" he asked, pressing his forehead to mine.

It hit me then, all at once, as we stood there, both of us breathing heavily, soaking in each other's warmth.

I trusted him. I trusted him more than I trusted myself sometimes, and while the mere thought should have scared me, it gave me the push I needed to reclaim my power. To defeat the demons Tyler had awakened. And I couldn't do it by myself.

Somewhere between hating him and wanting to run away from him, I started trusting this man, this enigma who kept surprising me over and over again. I fought it, I even made myself believe that I didn't trust him, that I wanted him far away from me, but those were all lies carefully concocted so that I could continue living in the shadows, far removed from anything that could hurt me.

Falling for someone like him could destroy me, but what a pretty destruction that would be.

This man, this pretty psycho, who would destroy anything and everyone for me, messed up all my plans. He fucked up everything I thought I wanted to have, and he made me see that I didn't want to live in fear. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life keeping people at arm's length just because that made it easier to leave them once the time for that came.

No, he pushed my boundaries even when we wanted to hate each other. He made me see and feel things. He made me realize that not all monsters hid their true nature.

I thought I wanted to find a nice man to settle down and heal with, but in reality, I needed a villain to make me see the truth. A good man would've sacrificed me just to save the rest of the world. But the villain—the villain would destroy every single person on his path just to get to me.

And Adrian was just that—my villain.

"I want you," I murmured, looking straight into his eyes. "Take me. Show me. Erase him from my body, Adrian." He trembled underneath my fingers, as if he too couldn't stand being separated from me anymore.

I trusted him with my life, and I knew he would never hurt me.

"Are you sure?" His voice turned hoarse, deeper, barely holding himself together. I could feel it in his touch, I could see it in his eyes—he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Maybe even more. But he wasn't going to do anything unless I was truly okay with it, and that's why he was the man I needed. That's why he was the only one I could imagine having and helping me without tearing my soul apart.

"I'm more than sure, babe," I murmured, loving the blaze of heat in those dark depths the moment that term of endearment came out of my mouth.

We were both so starved for love that what we felt for each other seemed like an avalanche pushing through our systems. Neither one of us knew about the true love we were supposed to find when we were much younger than now. Neither one of us knew what a healthy relationship looked like, because we never saw it with our eyes.

Seconds felt like years while we stood there, staring at each other, but I knew it wouldn't be much longer before the point of no return. And like animals, primal, ready for each other, we attacked, fighting for dominance, pushing each other, until we bumped against the bed.

Adrian bit, kissed, and licked my neck, wrapping his hands around my arms and tightening his grip, holding my wrists together. My heart raced, desperate to be closer to him.

My shirt was the first thing to disappear, all but ripped from my body, followed by my pants.

His eyes dragged over my body as I stood there only in my underwear and nothing else. I was never a shy person and getting naked was more often than not part of my job, but the way his eyes ran over me, stopping at the bruises and cuts Tyler had left, made me want to cover myself. It made me want to hide, but I knew there was no use even trying to do it.

My blood was lava, desperate to be extinguished by him, by his touch, and the way that only he could make me feel.

"You look like a goddess," he grunted, his hand softly landing on my waist. "Like every dream I've ever had."

"Not a nightmare?" I chuckled, or at least I tried to. Before I could finish the sentence, he had me pulled closer to him, our fronts pressed together as he stared down at me with emotions I couldn't quite decipher right now.

"If you are my nightmare, then I never want to wake up, Bambi. If you wanted to, you could lead me into hell and back and I wouldn't even blink an eye. That's how much I trust you. That's how much you own me. And you really do." He smiled softly. "You own me, baby."

"Adrian," I murmured, my voice barely above whisper. "I-I?—"

"You don't have to say anything," he said. "As a matter of fact, I don't want you to say anything because I know that you might need time to absorb everything. But I am telling you now," he lowered his head until his breath washed over my ear, tickling me in the process. "I am never letting you go, so if you ever get bored of me I recommend finding a way to find me interesting again, because you're mine. From this moment on, you belong to me. Your body." He dragged his hand over my stomach as to make a point. "And your heart," he murmured, placing his hand just above the thundering organ.

"Then take me," I said, going on my tiptoes just enough to place my lips mere inches from his. "I'm yours."

As if the switch was flipped with those simple words, Adrian had me up in the air within seconds, effortlessly lifting me and slowly depositing me on top of the bed, climbing on right after me. His hands ran over my thighs, eliciting goosebumps all over my body, before moving on to my shoulders, my belly, dragging softly over the bruises that would need a couple of more days to fade just on top of my ribs, his eyes drinking in every single inch of me.

His lips landed on mine, pressing a chaste kiss just before moving toward my neck, licking, biting, and kissing, and repeating the same process all over my body. He had me squirming within minutes and I could feel the wetness pooling between my legs, my core desperate for his touch.

"Adrian!" I moaned, arching my back as his lips wrapped around my nipple, teasing, pulling, and using his teeth. I was mindless with pleasure and it took me a moment for my mind to recognize what exactly he was doing.

He was making this about me. My pleasure, my comfort, and as he kept leaving marks of his own on my skin, worshiping me like no other man ever has, the tears I tried keeping at bay spilled over my cheeks, making me shudder under his touch.

His head lifted up, those brows furrowing the moment he saw the expression on my face. "Vega?" He stopped abruptly, pulling me up and right into his arms. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Did I hurt you? We can stop if you want to."

But I couldn't speak. I couldn't find words, because no one had ever worshiped me. No one had taken the time to figure out how to truly please me, how to show me all these different aspects of what sex could be. It was more than just an exchange, but I didn't know that before. I didn't know that it could feel this much, to the point where it both broke my heart and mended it, making me see all that I was missing over the years.

"I-I'm sorry," I hiccuped, burying my face in his chest and soaking the T-shirt he wore with my tears. "I don't k-know what's wrong with me."

"It's okay," he mumbled, cradling my head and holding me tighter than ever. "Did I hurt you?"

"No." I shook my head. He was everything I didn't know I needed and everything I wanted, breaking me down slowly with his soft touches and perfect words. "It j-just," I stammered. "It just felt like too much."

"Do you want us to stop?"

"No!" I practically shrieked, pulling slightly from him to look at his face. He seemed worried, that frown still ever-present, and I didn't want him to worry about me. "This isn't about the act itself, Adrian," I murmured, tracing my finger over his chest. "These tears are not tears of pain," I whispered. "These tears are tears of freedom, of me finally seeing what I've been missing my entire life. So, please," I begged. "Don't stop now. I want you. I need you. I—" I never got to finish my sentence before he had me on my back again, ripping off my panties and discarding them somewhere next to the bed.

He wrapped his arms around my thighs, pulling my core close to his face, and then he dove in. I felt electrified as his tongue connected with my clit, teasing me, pulling it, biting it, licking through my folds as if it was the best damn thing he had ever tasted.

"Oh. My. God!" I shrieked, closing my eyes as the bouts of pleasure racked through my body. "Adrian!"

"Hmmm," he hummed against my core, the vibrations only pushing the ecstasy further through my bloodstream, creating a mindless monster whimpering before him, begging, pleading, shrieking, and pulling his hair while he lapped at me, drinking me in. "You taste delectable, Bambi," he said, grinning from ear to ear as he looked up at me. "I bet you taste even sweeter once you come."

My mouth opened, ready to beg him for his cock, for him, but he cut off every rational thought from my mind with the next sweep of his tongue against my clit, while his fingers slowly entered me—first one, then two, and then three. He was stretching me, pressing against that motherfucking spot inside my pussy that made me see stars.

I bucked on the bed as he increased his pace, the pressure of his fingers making it almost impossible to keep my eyes open.

"Adrian… Fuck. Stop!" But he wasn't stopping and as I looked down at him, he wore that shit-eating grin, filled with satisfaction. "Adrian!" I thundered as a pressure I had never felt before started building in the pit of my stomach, making me thrash and turn on the bed, unable to escape his hold. "Oh. My. God!"

Like an elastic band snapping, my body felt like it was flying off of the bed into the heights of heavens, while something wet erupted out of me, pulsating, making me see motherfucking stars and God.

Adrian's chuckle slowly penetrated through my foggy mind as I came back to my senses, making my face beet red.

"Did I just," I stammered. "Did I just pee myself?" I asked quietly, covering my eyes with my hand. "Jesus fuck. That wasn't supposed to happen."

"No." The bastard laughed, pressing a kiss to my hip. "You just gave me the best motherfucking gift, Bambi," he said, pressing another kiss just above my belly button. "And I can't wait to see you do it again." His fingers wrapped around my wrist, making me look at him. I was embarrassed, but he looked like he had just won a million dollars. "But now it's my turn."

I took him in, in all his glory with his face glistening from my juices, when he moved back, discarding his T-shirt within seconds, along with his pants and his underwear. I did not have time before at the cemetery to gawk and stare at that magnificent cock, as I should have.

Hell, I was too fucking stubborn to even look at him, let along allow myself to admire him. But Adrian had a body gifted by the gods themselves and the bastard knew it, judging by that little smirk he had plastered on his face when he saw me looking.

"See anything you like?" he asked, his eyes smoldering, fucking me without a touch.

"Oh, yeah," I murmured. "I see everything I like. And everything I see is mine." Whether it was my words or the situation we were in, I had no idea, but he was like a man possessed the moment I said that, needing him to know that he wasn't the only one possessive. I was too.

I needed him to know that as much as he wanted me to belong to him, he belonged to me as well. And I wasn't sharing. I always thought I wasn't a jealous person, but the mere thought of him with somebody else had violence rising in my veins over this imaginary girl that would try and touch him. I wanted to mark him, to make it known that he belonged to me and no one else.

I wanted him to look at that mark every single day and remember he belonged to me, body, mind, and soul. And I knew just what could appease my little green monster. But before I could move, before I could do anything, Adrian had me pulled into his arms, moving us so that he sat against the headboard, with me on top.

"I want you to ride me, baby," he murmured, pressing his lips to my shoulder. "I want you to take control." Those cracks on my heart only widened, filling with everything I felt for this man.

He had me undone, completely bare, almost broken for him, and I didn't mind. For the first time in my life I didn't mind breaking apart, because I knew he'd be there to catch me even if I fell sometimes.

I moved down, feeling his thick cock between my folds, rubbing myself on him and soaking him in my juices. His eyes shuttered closed, his grip on my hips only increasing. "Fuck," he spat out, opening those dark depths and swallowing me whole with that one look. "Bambi," he grunted. "I need you."

He didn't have to say another word. He didn't need to explain, I understood. I yearned for this feeling for so long, and when I realized he could give it to me, I ran like a coward, because I would've rather dealt with an entire army than one man who could make me feel like this.

My heart was full. My wounds didn't scare me. My past was just that—a past that could no longer hurt me.

I lifted my ass and wrapped my hands around the base of his cock, earning another grunt from him. I was drunk on power, drunk on him, his scent, the way he looked at me, the way he held me and worshiped me. I wanted this more than the freedom I craved, and I knew I would never be the same. Nothing would ever be the same, but if it meant having him, then I didn't mind all these changes.

"Bamb— Fuck!" he bellowed as I sunk down on him, tightening my walls around his member as I got used to this angle. He was deeper this way, hitting all the right spots, and I couldn't stop myself from moving, gyrating on top of him, while he held my hips, biting his lower lip. I was still sore, my body reminding me with painful flares of what we went through, but I didn’t care.

Not right now.

I needed him to help me forget.

I could see the urge to move, to slam into me in his eyes, but he let me have my fun. He let me reclaim who I was and right now, as I went up and down, rubbing my clit on his pubic bone, I felt primal and the need to mark him only rose higher and higher. My head went down, my teeth clamping between his neck and shoulder, drawing blood. His yell was mixed with pain and desire, and before I could untangle myself from him, he slammed into me, taking over.

His fast, almost punishing strokes awakened the beast living inside my soul, and I let him have me. I let him take everything, opening my heart to this man that both terrified and excited me.

His hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing softly, making me look at him and those hooded eyes that never wavered from mine. His cock marked me from the inside, driving me insane with every new stroke, creating a whimpering mess on top of him.

"You're mine," he bit out, increasing his pace. "Tell me you're mine!" His voice was guttural, barely human, telling me he was barely keeping it together. He was just holding on to the threads of sanity, looking at me with a dark look that would've scared a lesser woman.

But I wanted this. I wanted the monster hiding behind and I didn't want him to treat me like a fragile little girl.

"Tell me!" he roared, his cock massaging my G-spot, making my eyes flutter closed.

"I-I," I stammered, knowing I couldn't let him have it all so easily. "I'm not sure. You're not." Fuck. I could barely keep my eyes open, seeing the darkening in his gaze. But I wanted more. I wanted him to take me, use me, hurt me, break me only to build me up again. "You're not too convincing!" I yelled out as his cock slammed into me.

I had no idea how, but he had us off of the bed in a second, pressing me to the wall right next to it with his dick still inside of me.

"Tell." He slammed inside of me, holding me up. "Me." Slam. "You're." Slam. "Mine!"

"Oh, fuck!" I cried out, hitting the wall with the back of my head. "I'm yours. I'm all fucking yours!" His dark chuckle pushed through the fog in my mind, making me open my eyes. His eyes shone with emotions that mirrored my own, but it was more than just the need to come, the need to claim. It was the dark promise that he would kill anyone and anything coming my way.

He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, pressing his forehead to mine as his cock pushed in and out, in and fucking out, bringing me to the brink of madness. His other hand snuck between us, rubbing my clit with a precision I could not fathom.

My mouth opened, my eyes shuddered. "Look at me, Bambi. Give me those eyes."

"I-I," I moaned. "I can't. It's too much."

"Fucking look at me!" he roared. "Look at the man whose heart you own!" It was the command in his voice, the way he held me and played me like I was his favorite instrument. My eyes met his and the fire I saw in his eyes pushed me over the edge and I fell.

Burst apart.

Shattered.

I had no idea what happened, but my body wasn't my own anymore. It belonged to him, to this beautiful yet complicated man. My orgasm tore through my body, burning everything in its wake and erasing any trace of Tyler from my bloodstream.

His roar registered somewhere in the back of my mind along with the feel of his hot cum filling me up, marking me as his. My limbs felt heavy, my heart full, and I could barely keep my eyes open. His cock was still half hard inside of me, making me moan as he moved us toward the bed, sitting with his back to the headboard with me still on his cock. His arms were tightly wrapped around me, his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling me and placing soft kisses.

I had no idea what I did to deserve this man, but I would take it.

My eyes zeroed in on the mark I left on his neck, bright red with the indent of my teeth in his skin. My thumb brushed over it, feeling Adrian shudder underneath me as I pressed my finger against it, making him close his eyes on a moan. His cock twitched inside me, making me heady with power, like I was on top of the world.

"You don't want to do that, Bambi," he rasped, taking my hand in his and kissing my fingers. "I need to rest, woman." He laughed, moving the hair away from my face and tucking it behind my ear. "Did I hurt you?" he asked suddenly, his eyes darkening at the sight of the old bruises on my body.

I wiggled on top of him, earning another grunt, feeling sticky from our fluids but for whatever reason, loving it more than I should. "No," I murmured, lowering my head and pressing my lips to his cheek. "You did not hurt me." My teeth found their mark at his chin, biting softly. "I want more. I want to mark you." I swiveled my hips, feeling him getting harder and harder inside of me. "I want to see my name on your skin. I want them all to know you belong to me."

His fingers landed on my hips, flexing, digging into my skin, telling me without words what he wanted.

"Then do it, Bambi," he said, his voice becoming deeper. "Mark me." I pulled back and looked down at him. "Make me yours."

His eyes shone with everything he felt for me, and without thinking, I pulled myself up, moaning as his cock slid out of me. I wrapped my hand around his base and dove down, licking the mix of our cum off of him, feeling him harden on my tongue.

"Fuuuuck!" The guttural sound tore from him just as his hand wrapped around my hair, letting me suck him the way I wanted to. I could feel myself growing wetter with every new stroke of my tongue over him, cleaning him up, kissing his crown. "Baby, please," he groaned, throwing his head back, but we weren't going to play that game.

I pushed away from him suddenly, making him open his eyes and frown at me. "Vega?"

"Shhh." I pressed a finger to his lips and got off the bed, locating my target.

He left his knives on top of the kitchen counter when we came in, and before he could complain again, I snatched one of them, walking back toward him.

His eyes widened, that little smirk making an appearance once again when I sat down on top of him, his cock nestled between my legs. His mouth opened and then closed when he saw the knife in my hand.

"What are you going to do with that, Bambi?" That dangerous glint in his eye was back once more, making me lean forward and pressing my chest to his.

"I'm going to make you mine."

I dragged the tip of the knife over his pec, hearing him hiss as the cold metal touched his skin, but he didn't move. He did nothing but stare at me with the love I wasn't ready to accept, holding on to me as if his life depended on it.

The sharp blade of the knife cut through his skin as I dragged the first line down, stopping right above his nipple, feeling his cock twitching between my legs. Blood ran down his skin just as I ran my tongue over it, drinking him in, his essence, the very core of him. His fingers dug deeper into my skin, almost punishing, but we both needed this.

I probably needed this more than anything else right now, and I could not explain why.

My finger traced the single line on his pec, looking straight into his eyes.

"Does it hurt?"

"Nothing you do could ever hurt me, Bambi," he said. "Not a single thing." But I knew that one thing could hurt him, the very same thing that could hurt me if he ever tried to leave me. I drew the blade of the knife back up, creating a V right on top of his pec.

I didn't stop there, I couldn't, and focusing on his pec and that dusted brown nipple was easier than looking into his eyes as I carved my entire name into his skin, marking him forever as mine. I could feel his eyes on my profile as I finished the A , running my fingers through the spilled blood and feeling him shudder beneath my body.

But I wasn't ready to admit what this meant. I wasn't ready to admit that marking him like this gave him the keys to my own heart, to my soul, and if one day he woke up and decided he didn't want it anymore?—

"Vega," he murmured while I stared at my name on him. "Look at me, baby girl."

"I don't know if I can."

"Hey." His fingers landed underneath my chin, lifting my head and forcing me to look at him. "I am yours. Today, tomorrow, in sixty years, I'm yours. And you." He pulled me closer, taking the knife from my hand. "You will always be mine. No matter what."

I believed every single word that came out of his mouth, but I couldn't stop thinking about the mess waiting for us outside of this cabin and all those enemies that wanted to see us dead. And I couldn't stop thinking about the possible outcome where he would get stolen from me.

For the first time it wasn't the fear of loving him that had me paralyzed.

It was the fear of losing him.

My thoughts were a jumbled mess, ready to swallow me whole, but something else niggled at the back of my mind.

The guys were supposed to be here by now, so why weren’t they?