The Promise (Wolfe Creek Duet #2)

5

THEA

I’m hiding in Damian’s closet. My heart’s finally slowed down and I can breathe a little easier. I’m pretty sure I heard Wesley leave, but I’ll give it a couple of minutes to be certain.

I didn’t hit the lights when I ran in here. If I had, I’d be able to distract myself by admiring Damian’s wardrobe. Instead, dark thoughts start to claw at my mind.

Clarity didn’t come with a night’s rest after yesterday’s revelation. I thought sleep would clear some of the emotion away—give me a clean slate to work with. It didn’t. Mostly because it wasn’t restful, nightmares plagued me, but also the fear that Cole would visit since I was in my room, too angry to sleep with any of them.

If he did come, he didn’t leave a letter this time.

I think the lack of decent sleep is making it harder to control my emotions and these dark thoughts. I feel everything. Betrayed. Angry. Sad. Lost. Scared. I feel everything too much. So much so that my chest feels like it’s caving in. I want to be sick and I want to lie in bed all day crying. I want to scream and throw my fist through a wall.

I feel everything more than I should. It’s in my bones and my blood. In my head and my heart. I feel it all in every breath.

Why? Why did they do this to me? Why did they drag me into this? Why did they make me love them when they knew I’d be forced into this impossible decision? Did I do something to deserve this?

Each question leads to a new one and I have answers for none of them. I’m not sure I ever will.

Resting my head against the wall, I take a few deep breaths and try to push the pain away. It persists and I think it will for a long, long time.

SUTTON

I watch Damian and Wes speed off. With Jessie starting her cleaning downstairs, I head in the direction Thea ran. Wes’ game of chase might have our girl worked up and needing some company. The thought sends a jolt of excitement through me.

Being in the hospital took a toll on our sex life and I’m eager to make up for it. I may not be fully recovered, but that isn’t going to stop me from indulging in Thea as much as possible now that I’m home.

Stopping in the kitchen, I prop the cane against the counter, cursing the damn thing. My physical therapist says I need it a couple of weeks longer. I hate it. It’s a clear sign of weakness. A reminder that I almost fucking died—at the hands of my brother, no less.

I unclip the holster at my hip and set the gun in one of the drawers before closing it. I hate carrying it, but Damian doesn’t care about that.

It’s strange having guns in the house again after what went down with Cole ten years ago. His breakdown made it impossible to look at one without flashes of that day assaulting me. But here we are now, required by Damian to carry one at all times—just in case Cole shows up. He’s ordered us to kill him on-site.

I walk into Damian’s room. It’s not something I’d typically do without him around, but Thea’s in here somewhere. I check the bathroom first—empty. Then the rest of his room. Empty. I smile as I walk back down the corridor. She must be in his closet.

Pulling open the door, I flick on the lights and find her leaning against the wall… crying.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I’m shocked by the sight of her hiding in here, tears running down her face. “Was it Wes?” I ask as I hurry to her.

She shakes her head, then wipes her cheeks with the back of her hands. “No. It’s not him.”

I pull her into my arms, kissing her head and whispering that she’ll be okay. Her energy feels off. Normally, she’s cool, confident, and playful. Right now, all I feel is fear, uncertainty, and anger. She’s mad about yesterday.

“I’m sorry. For everything.” I really am, but I know that an apology isn’t enough. This is the second time I’ve betrayed her. That’s not something I ever thought I’d do to the woman I love. First, I didn’t tell her about the pact when Cole brought her home. And now, I’ve kept Adrian a secret. We’re assholes for these lies. “C’mon, let’s go lie down. You need to take it easy.”

Thea doesn’t fight me when I take her hand and pull her out of the closet. I lead the way, despite the clunkiness of my gait. I appreciate her for giving me that. I’m not a prideful man, yet this small gesture means something to me.

Eventually, we make it down to my room and cuddle up in bed.

She rests her head against my chest as I stroke her hair. I wait for her to open up, but when she doesn’t, I carefully push for her to talk.

“How are you doing?” It’s vague, considering everything going on. I want to see how she answers—what she addresses and what she avoids.

She stills. “I’m okay.” I’m about to call her out, but she continues. “I mean, as okay as I can be. The last month has been tough, but I’m getting through it. One day at a time.” Thea tilts her head up to look at me, giving me a soft smile. I don’t know if I believe her. “What about you?” She diverts the conversation.

If she thinks she’s getting out of telling me how she’s feeling, she’s wrong. However, I’ll give her a minute to sort through things.

“A few more weeks of therapy and I should be good as new,” I lie. We both know that’s not true. Thea was with me in the hospital nearly every day—we’re both very aware that I was not only lucky to be alive but also fortunate to have healed as well as I have. The doctors were clear. I will never be at a hundred percent. I’ll also likely have residual aches and pains.

Thea’s fingers trace hearts over my chest. She has no idea how much I fucking love her and all the little things she does that mean the world to me. Especially now. Life with her is so much more precious these days.

“Have you still had your eye on that bike?”

Taking a deep breath, I don’t answer right away. This has been a touchy subject for not only us but also between my brothers and me. They all want me to buy something with four wheels. I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m using a temporary car for now and it’s hell. It’s claustrophobic. “Of course. But I know you don’t like talking about it.”

Her hand pauses mid-trace. “I don’t want to argue about it. I just don’t understand why you’d want to get back on one when there are safer options.”

Wes is the only one I expected to understand, considering his climbing accident a few years ago. Even he isn’t on board with me getting another bike.

“Riding brings me a sense of peace that nothing in this world does.” I don’t mean for that to come out as an insult. I’m not sure if she’ll take it that way. Thea brings me peace in a different way. However, riding is just different. “I understand that it’s dangerous. No one knows that more than me. Still, I can’t imagine never getting on another bike for the rest of my life.”

She sucks in a breath, then asks. “What if Damian tells you no?”

I laugh roughly at her question. “Listen, my brother might rule most things, but one thing he won’t determine is if I get on another motorcycle again.” I pause as something else arises, a feeling I’ve had since I woke in the hospital. “I am scared, though.”

Thea lifts her head to look at me with knitted brows.

“What if I can’t do it?” I shakily whisper.

She’s still watching me—studying me. “I’m sure you aren’t going to forget how to ride,” she assures me.

I wish that was my worry. “It’s not that.” I take a steadying breath. “What if I can’t bring myself to ride again because I’m too scared? What if I freeze and can’t do it?” The want is there. I want to ride, but what if I mentally can’t do it. Or what if I do and then something triggers me while I’m on the road? I close my eyes, trying to push those fears away.

Thea’s fingers grip my chin, forcing me to turn toward her. Opening my eyes, I see hers watering. She may not understand why I want to get back on a bike, but she feels for me. She gets me even when she doesn’t. I pull her closer.

This woman is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I push the conversation in a different direction. “Tell me about the store. Is everything going okay?”

She lays her head back down. “Everything’s going great. It took some time to get into the flow of things, but it’s all good now. Deirdre is working out well. Actually, she’s been a lifesaver and I think you’ll really like her. She’s quiet, like you,” Thea says, almost laughing.

I chuckle too. Yeah, Thea gets me.

“Thank you for everything. You’ve helped so much since…” I don’t need to finish the sentence, we both know. “I want to do something for you.”

“Sutton, you don’t have to do anything for me. I’m happy to help you, always. I love you so, so much.”

Those words make my heart swell. “I love you too, baby. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” It’s an understatement and I know there will never be a way for me to fully show her how much I love her. But I hope she feels it, like I do, just being next to her.

My fingers trace over her jaw until my thumb finds her bottom lip. I kiss that perfect mouth and while I want more than that, I still want to know more about what’s on her mind.

“Now, tell me how you’re really doing.”

Thea sinks into me. “I don’t even know anymore.” She sounds defeated. My heart aches for her and I don’t think there’s anything I can really do to make this better. So I listen. “The lies hurt so much, but I’ve lied too, so I feel like I can’t be mad. And that hurts even more, like I have to water myself down, otherwise I’m a hypocrite. But still, I’m so fucking angry and sad all the time.”

My fingers skate over the bare skin of her arm. “Is it just the lies? Or is there more? Something else that’s making you feel that way?” I feel her tense beneath my touch. Tell me, Thea. “Is it Cole?” Her breath catches as I say my brother’s name. I don’t push her, though.

“Yes,” Thea answers simply. After a few moments, she continues. “It’s still painful. I don’t understand how he did what he did. How could he hurt me like that? How could he hurt you? I just don’t understand. I hate him for what he did.” Her voice cracks.

Christ, she’s in agony. I don’t have all the answers, although I do have some. I want to tell her, but I can’t. Damian would flip.

“But you still love him.” It’s a statement, not a question. She looks up at me with a scrunched face.

“What? No. Why would I still love him?”

How do I explain this? “Thea, two things can be true at the same time.” She looks at me, confused. “You can hate Cole for the things he did. What he did was unforgivable. But those were his actions, not yours. The love you had for him was pure and without malice. Reconciling those two things can be hard. So it’s perfectly normal to hate who he is now, but to love the person you thought you knew.”

A tear rolls down her cheek. I wipe it away.

“This isn’t how it was supposed to go,” she murmurs.

“I know. I’m sorry, baby. I wish I could go back and change it all. You don’t deserve this.” I don’t know what I would have done differently. Meeting her? Letting her join our pact? Keeping Cole’s history a secret? My head starts to hurt from the many possibilities that could’ve changed all of this.

She looks up at me with hurt on her face. “You could have,” she says in a hushed but accusatory voice. “You could’ve told me about Adrian. You could’ve told me about the pact the night Cole first brought me here. Maybe you couldn’t change everything, but you could’ve done something.”

I sigh. “I could have. Damian does things for a reason and he hasn’t given me a reason not to trust his judgment. I may not always agree or like his decisions, but he knows what he’s doing.”

“Yeah. For the greater good.” Thea repeats Damian’s words sarcastically. “It’s easy for you to say to trust him. You don’t have a decision to make. You don’t have to decide whether to stay or go. You get to be the peacemaker, always in the middle, never a part of the conflict,” she says harshly.

I’m taken aback by her biting remarks. This isn’t territory that Thea and I have covered, at least not often enough for me to know how to navigate it.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“Thank you, but don’t apologize for reacting to something we caused. You have a right to be upset. I’m sorry… for everything.” I feel like I’ve apologized so much lately and I know it’s meaningless. She needs actions, not for us to ask for forgiveness after we’ve betrayed her. “Have you decided what you want to do? About the pact?”

Thea shakes her head against my chest. “No. There isn’t a right or a good decision. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know Adrian, he’s a wild card. I don’t know,” she repeats dejectedly.

“I understand.” There isn’t much else I can say. This has to be her choice, no matter how much I want to beg her to stay. I reach up and grab a book from the top of my headboard. “Hey, my parents are going to come for a visit soon. My mom is looking forward to seeing you.”

I see the small pull of a smile at the corners of her mouth. It makes me smile a little too. Flipping open the book, I start reading to Thea.

I read until she falls asleep and then I fall asleep too.