The Promise (Wolfe Creek Duet #2)

15

SUTTON

It’s been five days since my mom told me that my entire life has been a lie. She confessed to a betrayal so heinous I don’t know if I can forgive her. The woman who once hung the moon for me is now the one who’s dimmed the stars, leaving me in total darkness.

She’s tried reaching out every day since—my father, too. But I haven’t been able to bring myself to talk to either of them. As much as I feel bad for my dad, he was complicit in this lie. Today’s the day, though. I’m going to hear his side.

“You don’t have to be here for this,” I tell my brothers once again. “It’s depressing shit.”

I look around at each of them.

Damian is leaned back in his computer chair. He looks tired. Wes and Adrian are sitting on the sofa while I pace the floor with my cane in my brother’s room. We all have our own stuff going on and I don’t want to burden them with this.

“You’ve been there for years of our depressing family shit. It’s our turn to be here for you,” Wes assures me. I want to argue against his point. I appreciate where he’s coming from, yet I don’t want everyone witnessing the destruction of my life. Maybe it’s easier for all of them since they’ve been doing this their whole lives, but for me, I’m so fucking ashamed.

I find my dad’s name in my contacts and hit the call button, then the speaker button. It rings three times before he picks up.

“Son?”

It takes me a moment, then I clear my throat. “Hey, dad.”

There’s a sigh of relief from his end. Maybe he thought I’d never talk to him again. “How are you doing?” He asks tentatively. We both know this is a delicate situation, but these pleasantries almost make it worse.

“As well as you might expect,” I answer honestly. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never had to confront my parents about anything. They’ve always made me feel comfortable and welcome to talk to them about anything. This is new territory. I’ve never been angry at them, but I can’t keep this inside.

There’s a brief silence before he speaks. His deep voice is full of remorse. “I’m sorry, son. I did what I thought was best for you. I wanted you to have the best shot at life and I’m realizing that lying to do that wasn’t the right decision. But I was making the best of a bad situation.”

Guilt tugs at my heart. I want to have compassion for him, yet I can’t fully feel it. He was the adult in the situation. He should’ve had better judgment.

“I don’t understand why, dad. Why would you let her do that all of those years? Even after I left home, you stayed.” I don’t try to hide the pain in my voice. I don’t have it in me to act strong when this hurts so badly.

“I stayed when you were young because I thought having two loving parents in your life was what you needed to grow into a healthy, well-adjusted adult. I wasn’t thinking that it’d come to this. I don’t know…” He sounds defeated.

There’s so many questions running through my mind. I meet Adrian’s usually hard eyes—they’ve softened. Pity, that’s what he’s feeling. I feel an odd sense of a full circle moment coming around. I’m sure I had the same look in my eyes after his mom died.

Turning, I look out of the floor to ceiling window. The once green landscape has transformed—all I see is an inferno like everything around me is burning to the ground. “She made a vow to you. She broke her promise. How were you okay with that?”

He sighs. “Son, I don’t have a good answer.” My dad pauses briefly. “Sometimes when you love someone, you’d rather have the tiniest fragment of them than nothing at all.”

My heart sinks at his answer because I understand that to a degree. Knowing how much I love Thea, I might do the same. I am doing the same. I’m sharing her with my brothers, but I’m doing it willingly and happily. I love that she cares for all of us and we care for her. It’s not the same, I correct. We aren’t dragging a child into this.

“Why now? If you’ve gone this long, why not just stay?”

Another long silence. While I wait for his answer, I feel a hand on my back. Looking over my shoulder, I find Wes standing behind me. He doesn’t look at me, he’s giving me the respect of keeping my dignity, instead he stares out at the trees.

“As much as I love your mother, Sutton, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that love evolves. It changes you. I still love your mother very much. I always will. But that fraction of her I’ve been holding onto has dwindled. I can hardly see it anymore. I’m being selfish by trying to hold on to her, even if it’s a little bit. Neither of us deserves to live our lives in fragments. We deserve to be whole. She’ll be whole with someone else and I’ll be whole by myself.”

It’s all rather poetic when you can step back and look at the crash as if it’s not happening to you. As if you’re not the one bruised and bloodied. He’s had time to walk away from the wreckage and heal. I haven’t. I’m still aching and wondering if I’ll make it out of this alive.

So, as much as I can understand where he’s coming from, I can’t accept their excuses. They lied—to me and to each other.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I really am.”

We say our goodbyes before hanging up. I’m not sure how to feel after the conversation. I thought I might feel better, yet I’m still so angry. But lashing out at him isn’t going to do anything, I reason.

“What do you need?” Damian asks from across the room. He’s leaned forward with his elbows perched on his knees, eyeing me carefully. Always trying to manage the risks. I don’t want to add more to his plate.

Shaking my head, I answer, “Nothing right now… maybe just some time to figure shit out.”

Wes pulls me into a hug as I say it. My emotions threaten to pour over with the caring gesture. I pat him on the back and pull away. “Hey, we’re here for you, no matter what,” he reassures.

I can’t even look him in the eyes when he says it. I know they’re all here for me. I should be grateful. So why is it that I just want to be alone?

I thank them for being there for me and quickly leave Damian’s room, well as quickly as I can with this damn cane. I’d planned on stopping by the store today to help Dierdre with a book shipment, but I can’t bring myself to be around anyone. There’s a bottle of whiskey in the kitchen and a poetry book in my room calling my name.