The Rebellious Rake (The Notorious Nightingales #4)

Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

R am tracked Flora’s ex-fiancé with his eyes until he disappeared from the room. He’d never wanted to punch someone more than Lockwood. He’d humiliated her after she’d trusted him with her love. Bastard. How his Flora, with her intelligence and wit had fallen for a weasel like him, was unfathomable to Ram.

He looked down at her, letting his eyes linger on the neckline of her dress again. It was a deep emerald that made her eyes come alive. The swells of her breasts enticed him to touch her soft skin. Her hair was swept high on the sides, with several long, thick ebony curls resting on her shoulder. She glowed in this light, and he wanted to pick her up and run for the nearest room that would give them privacy.

He’d wanted her back in his arms so many times since that night they’d made love. Needed to be inside her again and let her obliterate the hell that had descended on him. But he couldn’t. Not yet, until she would be safe.

He’d decided to come to the ball in the hopes of seeing her, and he’d found her in minutes after arriving, talking to Milcroft. He’d wanted to break the bastard’s nose for leering at her. Only he was allowed to do that.

She was like a fever inside him. He wanted to see her, talk to her, and just be in her presence, and yet he’d kept his distance to keep her safe, and that had been hell. Flora Thomas had changed him. What he felt for her consumed him, and he wanted whoever was intent on harming him found so he could make a life with her.

“Are you all right, Flora? I’m sorry he is here and you were subjected to seeing him again.”

“I am well, thank you, and thank you for your words, they were very kind.”

“And also truthful,” Ram said, nudging her forward with the hand he still had on Flora’s spine. “That sniveling weasel needed to know you are not alone here in London, and he is not to approach you again, or I will break his nose next time.”

“While I enjoyed seeing Julian squirm, I do not need you to look after me, Ramsey. I am a strong woman and can look after myself.”

“I understand and admire your strength, Flora. However, sometimes you need someone who looks bigger and stronger to hammer the point home.”

Her eyes went back to the display before them, and because he was doing what he always did when she was near—watching her—he saw her mouth move.

“What?”

“What?” she replied.

“You murmured,” Ramsey said.

Her eyes shot to his and found him looking down at her; he didn’t look away. A shiver of awareness ran through him. This woman made him vulnerable, and right now, that was not a good thing .

The surge of rage when Milcroft was talking to her. The need to punch her ex-fiancé. The need to keep her safe.

Hell.

He’d known she was special, but after what they’d shared, she’d become so much more.

“Julian Lockwood is a fool,” Ram said to ensure she understood that. He didn’t think she still had feelings for the man, but he had to make sure.

“Thank you, I had no idea,” she said, her voice heavily laced with sarcasm.

“You are an intelligent woman, so why did you let him treat you as he did?” He should shut up, because Ram could see the storm clouds brewing behind Flora’s eyes as she glared up at him. But he didn’t seem able to stop himself. “Men like him care far more about themselves than a woman.”

“Like you, do you mean?”

“I beg your pardon, I will never be like that rodent Lockwood,” Ram said, incensed she could ever consider it. “And how can you say that of me after what we have shared?”

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.” The words were spoken softly. “The problem was he fooled me. He told me he read the books I liked and loved poetry, and I was duped.”

“He’s weak and egotistical. I could see that with a simple look. His first and last thought is for himself. You should have known better, especially considering your intelligence.”

Ram saw her wince.

“I’m sorry, Flora, I did not mean?—”

“I must get back to the family.” Pulling free, she turned and hurried away from him. Winding her way through the guests and colliding off one, Flora then disappeared from his sight.

He was a damn fool. He shouldn’t have spoken to her like he had. Love made idiots of people, and Flora had been no different, clearly. He’d insulted her, and that was unforgivable. Damn the woman, she made him do and say things without thinking, which he rarely did.

Love made him an unthinking fool, clearly.

“Hello, Ramsey dear,” a voice purred into his right ear. “Imagine finding you all alone.”

“Lady Bretton, how wonderful to see you this evening.” He bowed.

“My husband is from home for the entire week, if you would like to visit me.”

Ram looked down at her exposed breasts and the smoldering look she was throwing him from the eye holes of her mask and felt nothing. Not even a flicker of lust. I don’t want anyone’s breasts but Flora’s.

“I’m afraid I must decline your generous offer, my lady.”

“But why? I’ve heard from my dear friend Elizabeth that you are a stallion in the bedroom. I assure you, I am quite able to keep up and am even considered something of an accomplished rider,” she said with a knowing wink.

Ramsey didn’t like himself very much in that moment. He’d come to London and hadn’t exactly been a whore, but he’d certainly been with his fair share of women. None who wanted more from him than a single night or two. After Flora, he knew there would never be another.

“Gracious though your invitation is, my lady, I’m afraid I must decline.” He then bowed again and walked away to find Flora and apologize. Ram loathed apologizing because it meant he’d done something wrong, and he loathed that too.

Walking along the hallway, he nodded to guests but did not see her. It was cold here because the drapes were open, showing off the torchlit gardens. Looking out, he saw a movement. Surely not? Moving closer to make sure it wasn’t a band of men intent on grabbing him, he saw the lone figure stomping along the path .

The woman is an idiot.

Opening the door, he let in a blast of icy air.

“I say, sir, shut that,” someone urged him.

He stepped through and closed it behind him. He was wearing a great deal more than her but had removed his gloves and tucked them into the pocket of his greatcoat. Ram didn’t like to wear gloves; he liked to feel things. Feel Flora.

The air crept under his necktie and slapped him hard in the face as he walked. Reaching the path, he moved along it until he found her standing under a large birch tree. Head thrown back, she was looking at the night sky filtering through the branches, which did not offer much through a thick layer of mist.

“Come back inside, Flora, it is freezing out here. It was snowing earlier.” In fact, there was a smattering of white powder still on the ground. “You could trip and fall out here on ice, or someone could approach you.”

“G-go away, Ramsey. I wish to be alone, and my anger is keeping me warm.”

Christ, she was crying. He moved closer, but didn’t touch her. Not yet anyway.

“I’m sorry. I did not mean to hurt you, Flora. I spoke without thought, and for that I am truly sorry.”

She sniffed loudly and then pressed the back of her gloved hand to her nose. She’d removed her mask, and it now hung around a wrist.

“Don’t cry.” Ram felt helpless.

“I always think that a ridiculous thing to say. ‘Don’t cry’ when I already am seems silly.”

“Forgive me,” he said, fighting his smile. “Stop crying.”

“B-better,” she whispered.

“I didn’t mean to say anything to hurt you like this, Flora.” How did he explain what being near her did to him? How did he tell her that being presented with the man she’d once loved had unsettled and angered him?

“You didn’t, but it is never nice to be faced with your failures. Go back inside, Ramsey. I am quite safe out here alone, as there is not another person about. I shall return shortly.”

“Why did you flinch away from me if I did not hurt you?” Ram asked, admiring the long curls that sat on her shoulder. He wanted to touch one, roll it in his finger, and feel the texture. He wanted to raise it to his nose and inhale.

Shrugging out of his jacket, he lowered it around her shoulders as she shivered. Ram then moved even closer to stand at her side under the tree.

He could hear the distant sounds of London in the air and the hum of voices inside the house they’d just left.

“I don’t need your jacket, Mr. Hellion.”

“If you are using Mr. Hellion to put distance between us, it will not work. I am Ramsey to you, and now always will be.”

“I had to at least try.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Which is not an answer.”

“Stop asking me questions,” she snapped.

He laughed. What was it about this woman? She was cool, controlled, and infuriating. She knew her own mind and challenged him, and the last, he realized, was what he enjoyed most about her. Flora never let him off lightly. Never simply acquiesced to anything.

“Come, let’s walk.”

“We should go back inside,” she said.

“You don’t want to. So let’s walk until you do and those tears have dried. Your family will see them at once if you appear now and lay the blame at my feet.”

“True.” She didn’t sound sorry about that .

“I really am sorry for what I said, Flora.” He held out his hand, and she took it. Instead of tucking it into the crook of his arm, he held it. They then walked aimlessly for a while. The silence was peaceful, as was having her at his side.

Ram didn’t think of himself as an overly peaceful person. Raised alone, he was good with his own company but often sought out others too. But here and now, he was enjoying the quiet with her.

“My gift allows me to feel emotions, Ramsey.” Flora broke the silence first. “I have learned to block many, but sometimes, with people I see a lot or am close to, it almost chokes me.”

“And you felt Lockwood’s emotions?” Ram pressed. He hated that she may still love that good-for-nothing louse.

“I felt your anger,” she said softly. “Your frustration and hurt. I know you are conflicted over everything that is going on in your life. It was so strong, and I could do nothing for you.”

Ram stopped, turning her to face him. Raising her chin, he read her expression, saw the devastation that had made her cry.

“Flora,” Ram whispered, choosing his words carefully. “It was not just because of what is going on in my life. It was you too. I was angry, you are right, and resentful that Lockwood had your love once. That he’d not understood the gift you had given him. Had we been alone him and I, I’m unsure if I would have stopped punching him, such was my rage for what he’d done to you.”

“Ramsey,” she whispered.

“Never be sorry for what you are, Flora. You and the other Nightingales are truly wonderful, gifted people I am proud to have in my life.” He touched the curve of her chin as they fell silent, simply staring at each other .

“I vowed after Julian that I would never again be close to another man.”

“And yet you are to me.”

She eased his mask up to rest on his hair. “I’m not entirely sure why.”

“It is my charm and wit. My handsome face and strong body.”

“You are arrogant and far too sure of yourself,” she added.

“I know, they are my finest traits.”

“With Julian, it was uncomplicated, but you….” Her words fell away.

Ram kissed her because her words mirrored his own. He knew, of course, that there was no future for them until he’d found who was after him, and with that came the knowledge that he may not be alive to even contemplate a future with Flora. Even thinking that caused a lance of pain deep inside him. He wanted a life with his woman, who he loved desperately.

“Ramsey,” she whispered as he rested his lips on hers.

“I know,” he said again, understanding her emotions, as they mirrored his. He slid his arms around her and pulled her as close as he could, needing to feel her soft, lush curves pressed to his body again. His body sighed at the feel of her. Mine , he thought, and only mine . Her scent wrapped around him as she gave everything back that he asked from her. He had so much to live for now, and damn it, he would live.

“I’ve wanted you in my arms since that night we had together. Ached to be near you,” he said.

He stroked her through his jacket and felt his body harden. Felt the need pulse through him.

“Flora.” Ramsey’s words were a rasp. “I ache for you.”

She didn’t speak; instead, she reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair. Flora then tugged him closer.

This woman, he thought. What she did to him. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, kissing and stroking her, but when his hand slid to her skirts and raised one, she didn’t push him away.

“I want to feel your skin again,” he whispered.

Her hand went to his and moved with him to ease under her skirts and stroke. He felt her stocking and moved higher until he reached the garter. Above, he touched the silken skin of her outer thigh. Warm, he thought. As cold as it was out here, he felt the heat of her fill him.

“So soft.” The words were a low growl against her lips.

“Your hand is warm,” Flora replied, and he heard the huskiness in her tone. Need, he thought, because it mirrored his own. But not here, where anyone could see them. No one would force him to live with this woman; it would be on their terms. He would not risk compromising her.

“We have to go back inside now, Flora.”

Her sigh was soft and sad.

“Soon, my sweet, this will be over.”

They did not speak again. She went first, and Ram followed minutes later, after his body had cooled in the night air. He didn’t want to be separated from her. Didn’t want to walk back into that ballroom and pretend she was not important to him. He wanted to claim her.

Returning to the other guests, he took a glass of champagne from a waiter and pretended to wander but in fact was locating where Flora and her family were.

“Hello, where have you been?”

“I have been showing Flora the Christmas tree, Gray, and chatting to my admirers. Where is your wife?”

“Over there with the others. I was sent to find food.”

“Don’t tell me, let me guess. By Alex?”

“Ellen, actually, but Alex supported his sister’s request wholeheartedly. Have you been well today, Ram? ”

“No one has attempted to grab me if that’s what you’re wanting to know.”

“Come.” Gray walked away, and Ram guessed he was meant to follow, so he did. His cousin probably had more questions regarding who was after him. They stopped by a wall. Ram propped his shoulder against it and looked for Flora, something he felt like he would be doing for the rest of his life. He found her talking with her brother. His hands were waving about, and hers were on her lovely hips while she glared at him.

Clearly the Thomas siblings were like the Nightingales and had plenty of debates. He was looking forward to moderating them.

Gray stood at his side, his eyes no doubt seeking Ellen.

“I may not have spent many years with you, but I know you, Ram. Know that you’re an honest and open person, and yet I still feel like you are not telling me everything. As if you are holding something back from me.”

He hadn’t expected that topic here, in a room full of their peers, and yes, he hadn’t told Gray what he knew about his father. Ram had wanted to speak to his uncle who was actually his father before he did and get used to the idea. Plus, how did he tell a story like that?

“You can trust me, Ram.”

“I know that.”

“Then what are you not telling me? I’m trying to find whoever is after you, and you’re holding things back. That is not helping.”

He saw the frustration on his cousin’s face and perhaps hurt.

“You know Mother came to see me?”

“I do, and that she left before I could greet her.”

“Next time. Now you need to listen without interruption, Gray, and use that wall at your back to keep you upright when I tell you this story.”

“Christ, is it illegal?”

“No.” Ram exhaled slowly. “Uncle Brandon is not my uncle. He’s my father.”