The Rebellious Rake (The Notorious Nightingales #4)

CHAPTER THREE

“How hard is it, my little darlings, to ensure your father does not end up walking into the back of one of your uncle’s, or the grumpy Scotsman?” Ram said through his teeth. Now he was no longer in danger of landing on his face.

He was feeling toasty after the brisk walk and shot of something so strong it singed his nostril hairs when he inhaled it.

“Molasses rum?” He said to anyone listening.

“It was too fruity for that,” Gray said from nearby.

The blindfold was disconcerting. On any given day, he could find his way down this road, but with his eyes covered, it was a struggle.

“Mavis is walking like she can see,” Samantha said from his side.

“She’ll win again,” Henry said. “Move faster, Father.”

“Hello, dear. How is your morning going?”

He knew that voice. “Hello, my love, it is going exceedingly well, accept of the fact our progeny have absolutely no sense of direction.”

“Hold out your hands, things are about to take a turn for the worse,” Flora said.

“Why?” He gripped the material she handed him.

“These are trousers, and you need to get them on while blindfolded. We cannot help, as we have our own tasks,” she added.

“I’ll take the sweet food,” he said, feeling for the waist of the trousers. Who’s were they?

“Too late, Henry has that. Samantha is now about to recite a riddle for us to solve.”

“Which leaves what?”

“A pickled whelk.”

“Absolutely not,” Ram said. “I am blind and putting on someone else’s trousers. You eat it, woman.”

Flora made a gagging sound.

“Is there alcohol?”

“Yes, here.”

He dropped the trousers and took the cup she pressed into his palm. As he raised it to his lips, Samantha spoke.

“What always runs but never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a mouth but never eats?”

Ram took a large mouthful, hoping for spiced rum, and choked, then gagged as the vile taste filled his mouth. It was the pickled whelk. As it was half in his mouth now, he had to choke it down. When he’d managed without heaving it back up, he said, “that was excessively cruel.”

“I always liked your wife a great deal more than I like you.” The Scottish voice drifted to him from a few feet away.

“Answer the question,” Samantha demanded, because Mavis is nearly finished. “And put those trousers on, Father.”

“Trousers,” he said, holding out his hand.

“Here,” Henry said. “I have them the correct way for you,” his son then whispered.

“Oh, dear.”

“What?” He asked his evil wife.

Tabitha is helping Mungo put on his pants, and he thinks it’s Anna.

Ram managed to get one boot through the leg hole, and was negotiating the next, when he heard Tabitha say, “oh, Mr. Mungo, that is the wrong hole.”

“Mungo has just turned into a statue,” Flora whispered. She then giggled, which was a sound Ram had never tired of.

“The answer to the riddle is river,” Henry said. “Now make haste, Father.”

“Our children are far smarter than us, wife,” Ram said now in the trousers. He just needed to fasten them. “And I will point out, Henry, that I am blindfolded.”

“Yes, yes,” Samantha said. “Just get on with it, Father.”

After he put on his pants, someone directed him around the table.

“Straight ahead,” Henry said.

“Left sightly,” Samantha added.

Flora was now humming a Christmas carol.

The hems of the large pants he was now wearing under his overcoat were tripping him with every step he took, and the scarf that Flora had wrapped around his neck was far too tight. Something hit him hard from the side and he listed left, but managed to stay upright.

“Blindfolds off!” Mr. Greedy roared. “I fear you Nightingales will maim each other!”

Ramsey tore his off and then blinked to focus. Leo had barreled into him and was now picking himself up off the ground. Just ahead of him was Alex. Mungo and Gray were in front of them. Mavis was, of course, in the lead.

“Come on, Hellions, we need to pick up our speed!” Ram yelled.

“Oh, so now you can see you wish to perform better,” Flora mocked him as she skipped past with Samantha.

Ram caught her skirts and pulled her back. “You are a witch,” he whispered in her ear.

Behind the next table stood Mrs. Varney and Oakley, a large, solid man who rivaled Mungo in stature, and the tree he was named after. Tabitha had wed him three years ago, and while she still flirted shamelessly with everyone, it was clear they cared deeply for each other.

“Molasses whiskey,” Bramstone said, smacking his lips together.

“Kippers,” Theo shuddered.

“I’ll take the riddle,” Henry added. “Samantha can eat the fruitcake.”

Before Flora could grab it, Ram had the whiskey in his hands.

“Awww, now that’s nice, dear, you get the kippers,” he taunted her. She bared her teeth at him.

After finishing the whiskey, Tabitha gave him a skirt.

“Ah, I don’t think so,” Gray said, looking at his, in a fetching shade of green.

“I’ve always wondered what a dress was like to wear. Very freeing one should imagine,” Alex said.

“Would you like to discuss what it is like to wear the undergarments, brother?” Ellen snapped. “Corsets are?—”

“No, I would not,” Alex cut her off by forcing the cake between her lips.

“I say, Mavis has just thrown back her whiskey, and it now eating the kipper because her great niece Tammy has no wish too. That’s not fair,” Cyn said.

“Each morning, I appear to lie at your feet. All day I will follow, no matter how fast you run,” Henry said. “Yet I nearly perish in the midday sun,” Henry shouted.

The Hellion’s thought about that one as Ram attempted to wrestle the dress over his head.

“You Hellion’s are not too bright!” Leo called. “It’s easy.”

Henry poked out his tongue.

“Shadow!” Samantha cried.

“And again they beat us,” Flora sighed.

After that, things went downhill. Mayhem ensured. Alex was jogging around the close, stopping every few feet to pirouette, when Leo held out a hand toward him, which had everyone laughing hysterically.

“I’m not entirely sure if living here is a blessing or a curse,” Ram said to Flora.

“Mavis has won!” Mr. Greedy called.

“Again,” Theo said, looking thoroughly put out.

They congregated around tables with the other residents and feasted after that.

“I can’t believe Mavis won again,” Ivy said. “She’s the undisputed Crabbett Close champion for sure.”

“She cheats,” Alex said, disguising his voice, so Mavis didn’t know he’d spoken, because they all knew she was the strongest person here, and did not take kindly to anyone suggesting she cheated.

Flora leaned into Ram, and he put an arm around her shoulders. Kissing one cold cheek, he looked around them.

“Blessed,” Flora said, answering his earlier question. “I can think of no other place I would rather be than right here with you and all these people.”

He had to agree with her, there was absolutely no place better than this.

THE END