The Risks We Take Duet Box Set

57. Carys

CARYS

C oach turns down the cobblestone streets of Old City, less than thirty minutes after the Kingston jet lands back in Philly. I feigned sleep during most of the flight home, not ready to hear Coach’s latest words of wisdom.

He means well, but sometimes a girl just wants to wallow in her own pity party.

And I’m throwing myself a hell of a good one tonight.

Not a single star lights up the dark night’s sky as I say goodnight to Coach and climb out of the car in front of Chloe’s townhouse. It’s as if even the heavens know it isn’t a good night... That I’m not supposed to be in Kroydon Hills.

My heart is still in Germany, and that’s where my soul longs to be. Even sitting in that waiting room, knowing Cooper hated me, was better than closing the door behind myself as I walk into the townhouse.

This feels too final.

And I’m not ready for final.

I lock the door, then take a few steps toward the kitchen for a bottle of water before I stop dead in my tracks.

Chloe and a stunning woman with long jet-black hair are locked in a hot embrace. The leggy bombshell is leaning against the fridge with her head thrown back, while Chloe’s lips skim her neck, and her hand works inside the front of her shorts.

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” I mumble as I scramble away.

“Carys, wait,” Chloe’s voice calls out.

Refusing to stop, I shake my head. “I can’t, Chloe. We’ll talk in the morning.” I don’t look back as I drag my body up the stairs, drop my bag on the floor, and face-plant in my bed.

The last thing I see behind my closed eyelids before falling to sleep is the look of disgust on Cooper’s face as he threw me out of his room.

“ C arys . . .” Daphne’s voice invades my sleep-deprived brain.

I ignore it and burrow deeper in my bed, not sure what time it is as my blanket is tugged down my body. Cool air washes over my skin, but I am most definitely not ready to face the day. I tossed and turned all night and doubt I got more than an hour or two of actual sleep. And as much as I love my best friend, Daphne’s voice is not welcome right now.

Dream or not.

I crack one eye open, protesting the wakeup call, to find my bestie sitting next to me. Looking perfectly put together, her blonde hair pulled back and her pearls resting against her throat.

I don’t have the energy to deal with her right now, so I shove my pillow over my head instead. “What do you want?”

She pulls my pillow away, then lays her head down on it next to me with a soft smile. “How are you?”

I’m not at all sure how to answer that.

“He hates me, D.” The words are like acid burning my throat as I force them out. “And the thing is, I can’t even blame him.” I turn my head toward her. “My eyes are dry from lack of sleep, and I’m probably dehydrated from the number of tears I’ve shed. He threw me out of his room, and I ended up spending the week in the waiting room, hoping he’d change his mind. Which, side note, he didn’t. So basically, I’m batting a thousand.”

She links her pinky with mine, the way we’ve done since we were little kids, but it no longer comforts me like it used to. Adulting sucks . “So, what are we going to do about it?”

“I’m not sure.” I close my eyes, dreading the next thing I have to do. “First, I have to fly to California. I need to be there for Emerson.” A fresh wave of sorrow washes over me. “The services for Linc are next week. Jessie said Em moved back in with Jack and Theo for the time being, so I’m going to stay with them for a few weeks.” A tear trickles down my face, and I rest my head against D’s.

She rubs her thumb over my cheek, wiping away my tears. “Okay. How about you get a shower, and I make the coffee? And then, we’ll come up with a plan.” She cocks an eyebrow and waits me out, knowing she’s going to get her way.

“Fine.” I sit up and glare. “But I want tea, not coffee. And you better have brought some Sweet Temptations muffins with you.”

She shoves my shoulder as she stands from the bed. “Nope. No muffins. But I did better. I brought cupcakes.”

“Vanilla bean?”

She glares. “Of course I got vanilla bean for your boring, skinny ass. Now stop stalling and tell me I’m the best bestie ever.”

“I love you, D.” I look at my best friend... really look at her. It wasn’t too long ago that I was dragging her out of bed, and now she’s got everything she’s ever wanted.

The only thing I want is half a world away.

“You’re going to get through this, C. And we’ll be holding your hand every step of the way.”

B y dinnertime, I’m more grateful than I’ve ever been for my tribe. I’m showered, dressed, and booked on the red-eye back to San Diego later tonight. I’m not sure I’d have accomplished any of it without them.

“Carys, don’t you own any black?” Daphne walks out of my closet, holding a navy-blue shirt. “This could work for a funeral.”

Chloe rolls her eyes at Daphne. “You realize that’s a shirt, right?” She hands me a pair of black patent-leather Mary Jane heels to add to my suitcase before she steps out of the room.

“What?” Daphne holds up the shirt and shrugs when it only grazes the tops of her thighs. “Whatever. You’re shorter than me. Make it work.” She shoves the hanger at me, and I throw the shirt down on the bed. “Do you know how long you’re staying in San Diego?”

I shake my head. “Emerson’s due in a few weeks. I think I’m at least staying until the baby’s born. From what Jessie’s told me, she’s not doing well. And she hasn’t returned any of my calls. I’m worried about her and want to be there as long as she needs me.”

A charcoal-gray dress is shoved into my hands when Chloe walks back in. “Here. This should fit you.”

There’s a knock downstairs at the front door before it cracks open, and a voice carries up to us. “Chloe... where are you?” Nattie calls out.

My eyes fly to Chloe in shock. I assumed Nattie would be back in Maryland with Brady.

“Up here, Nat.” Chloe mouths the word Sorry to me before Nattie makes it up the stairs. I understand why she apologized when Nattie stops at the threshold of the room and her eyes lock with mine.

Anger and hurt war with each other in those blue eyes that are identical to Cooper’s, and I brace myself. Not sure if I can take any more hits.

She takes in the dress in my hands, then scans the room. “Where are you going?” Her tone is snarky at best and cruel at worst.

“Nat,” Chloe starts, but I step forward instead, effectively cutting her off.

“Say it, Nat. Say whatever you’ve got to say.” I remind myself that she’s my stepsister... Cooper’s twin, who we lied to for months. And she found out in the most horrific way imaginable.

But I will not be anyone’s punching bag, not today, when I’m beating myself up already.

She takes a shaky step next to me and stares before she sniffs, and her entire body shakes. “Have you talked to him? He won’t answer my calls.”

I shake my head and watch, glued to my spot, as Nattie drops down onto my bed and hides her face behind her hands, crying. “I’m sorry, Carys. I was horrible to you last week.”

I tuck my hands under my legs, nervously looking between Chloe and Daphne as they walk out of the room. Wishing I could beg them not to leave us alone.

Nattie and I have never been close.

I doubt we ever will be.

She may only be two years older than me, but she was always Aiden’s friend, and I was just his little sister. Never quite a part of their group. I tentatively reach out and lay my hand on Nat’s leg, palm up.

She immediately places her palm in mine.

“It was the worst day of my life, Nat. And I’m not going to lie and say the way you and Aiden reacted didn’t hurt. But I get it. Cooper and I kept something from all of you. You were entitled to feel however you felt. And none of us were in the right place to be more careful with our words. I wish it hadn’t happened that way. I wish things were different.”

“Why?” She squeezes my hand, and I all but yelp on the tight grip she’s got on me. “Why did you guys keep it from everyone?” Then a choked sob catches in her throat. “Why did he keep it from me?”

“Nat, I...” I take a soothing breath in, then slowly blow it out.

Now’s my chance to do this the way it should have been done, instead of making an announcement to the entire family at the worst possible moment. “I swear it came from a good place. We wanted to see what was between us before we brought you all into it. We didn’t want everyone’s opinions to color our feelings. And if we tried and it didn’t work out, we didn’t want anyone to know. Why make everything harder if we were never meant to be?”

“And are you?” Her big blue eyes blink at me, and I have to hold back my own tears when I realize I don’t know how to answer her. “Are you meant to be?”

“I love him with every fiber of my being, and I always will, but it’s complicated. I thought I was doing it for him...” I stop myself, not sure I want to give her that piece of us. “I fucked up, and I don’t know how to fix it. And now, he won’t even talk to me.” I refuse to cry another tear as they burn the back of my eyelids. “But I’m going to do what I didn’t do before, and I’m going to fight for him.”

“Can I give you one piece of advice, Carys?” Both of her brows lift as she waits for my answer.

“I’m all ears.”

She clasps my hand in both of hers and holds them together on her lap. Her grip even tighter now than before. “Don’t give up. My brother is the most stubborn person I’ve ever known. So, you’ve got to be ready for the fight of your life if you want him to see what’s right in front of him. But if you love him... let me tell you, it’s worth the fight.”

The fight of my life.

It feels more like a fight for my life.