The Risks We Take Duet Box Set

66. Cooper

COOPER

“ W hat the fuck do you mean he can’t crack the code?” I clench my jaw so hard, I’m surprised my teeth don’t crack as the throbbing behind my eyes intensifies.

Rook groans on the other end of the call. “It’s not an instant thing, Sinclair. I’m not saying he won’t get it, just that he hasn’t gotten it yet . I’m heading back to San Diego first thing in the morning, and Ash is going to keep working on it for us. He said he’s got someone he can ask for help. But it’s gonna take some time.”

“I gotcha.” I walk the perimeter of the house, making sure there aren’t any issues since I’m already out here. “Try to get some sleep, okay?”

Rook is a notorious insomniac. The fucker can go days without sleeping. “Sure, Mom . I’ll get right on that. I don’t have anybody warming my bed, like some of us do.”

“Whatever. Ford is the only one of us with someone warming his bed, asshole.” Nothing seems out of place outside. Two shitheads are getting high on the beach, judging by the smell, but that’s about it.

“That’s your own fault, brother. She apologized. What more do you want? You want her to grovel?” He hums. “That’s not a bad idea. I have zero doubt that Carys looks incredible down on her knees.”

My already fucked up vision goes red with rage. “Get that picture out of your head, motherfucker.”

He laughs like the sadistic bastard he is. “Yeah. That’s what I thought. Keeping her out of this in Germany was a solid plan. But she’s in it now. I mean, you’re living with her. Doesn’t get much more in it than that.”

“Ya think?” I hate when Rook is right. And the asshole is almost always right.

He’s the best analytical thinker on the team. He can remove his emotions and opinions from nearly any situation and give the unbiased advice we need. Helpful but really fucking annoying when he’s telling you what to do with your own life. “Call me when you get back tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Try not to screw it up before I get there.” He ends the call, and I walk into the backyard, cursing as I turn the corner a little too close to the house and catch a branch to the face from the oversized shrub.

“Shit.” I press down against the spot on my cheek and come away with blood on my finger.

“You okay?” Carys’s voice carries down from her balcony.

“I’m fine. How long have you been out there?” How much did you hear is what I really want to ask but don’t.

“I just came out a few minutes ago. I couldn’t sleep.” She stands with her hands resting on the wrought-iron railing in nothing but an oversized sleep shirt hanging off one shoulder. It skims the very tops of her thighs, and my cock jerks in my jeans as it takes notice.

Hell, my whole fucking body jumps to attention with awareness.

“Go inside and lock your damn door, Carys.” My words come out harsher than I meant for them to, but I swear to God, it’s like she’s trying to put herself at risk.

I step through the glass doors and lock them behind me as Carys storms down the stairs, looking like a pissed-off goddess. Her green eyes flare as she gets in my face.

“You know.” She points her finger at me, poking my chest. “I love bossy Coop, but only when there’s a damn orgasm promised at the end of it. So, unless you’re planning on making me come, you need to back off and keep your commands to yourself.”

Her face is flushed and gorgeous as her chest heaves with each hitch of her breath, and I have to fist my hands to keep myself from touching her.

From taking.

But Carys has other ideas.

She takes a step forward and crashes her lips to mine in a furious kiss.

We’re all teeth and tongues as need and anger war with each other.

I want this woman more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.

I grab both of her wrists in my hands and slam her back against the wall. Gathering her wrists in one hand, I hold them tight above her head and skim my fingers along the bare skin of her soft thigh.

Carys whimpers as her pupils blow wide with need.

“Is this what you want?” I ask with a vicious growl as I skim my teeth over the exposed skin of her shoulder. Not thinking straight. Lust and anger fueling me.

She rolls her hips against mine in response, and blood roars in my ears.

“You wanna ride my cock?”

Carys pulls against the tight grip I’ve got on her and turns her head, trying to capture my lips, but I let go of her wrists and drop to my knees.

“Cooper...” Her nails bite against my skin as she grabs my shoulders for purchase.

The pain feels too fucking good, compared to the numbness I’ve had since waking up in Germany. “If you’re a good girl, instead of a fucking tease, maybe I’ll let you come before I lock you in your goddamned room.”

I run my tongue up the inside of her smooth thigh, then nuzzle my nose along the damp seam of her silk panties, inhaling her scent. She’s warm and wet and smells fucking fantastic. But she backs her hips away from my face and yanks on my hair, tilting my head up. Forcing me to look at her. “What’s wrong? You wanted to come, didn’t you?” My raging hard-on strains against the zipper of my jeans, but the hurt look on her beautiful face has my heart sinking and my cock deflating.

“Stop.” The word comes out shaky as she takes a step away and rubs her wrists where red marks are forming from the way I held her. “This isn’t you, Cooper. You’re not cruel.”

“Carys...” I’m not sure what I’m planning to say or what there even is to say. I never meant to be cruel, no matter how angry I am. Not with her. Never with her.

“No. I’m not going to let you do this to us, Coop. This hot-and-cold thing. One minute, you’re furious at me, and the next, you’re in a pissing contest with Jack because I’m wearing his damn sweatshirt.” She crosses her arms under her chest, plumping up her breasts, and even a case of blue balls mixed with regret can’t stop my mouth from watering.

“Eyes up here, asshole.” Carys shoves my shoulder, and I stand back up and adjust my dick like the prick I’ve become.

“I’m pissed, Carys. Not dead.” Frustration simmers because I know she’s right. I’ve been all over the place since I got back from Germany, and she’s taken the brunt of my anger. Heat burns my side from the way I twisted, irritating my healing incision, and I grunt and grip my side.

Accusing eyes watch my movements carefully before her face softens. “Talk to me, Cooper. You haven’t even told me what the doctor said or when you have to report back for duty.”

She’s pushing for answers I’m not sure I’m ready to give. I haven’t even come to terms with the extent of my injuries and what that means for my life yet. How am I supposed to talk about it with her?

Carys moves into the kitchen and fills the kettle, then goes about making us each a cup of tea. Once she’s handed me one, she blows on hers and looks at me over the top of the mug as we stand on opposite sides of the island. “Well...?” Green eyes attempt to stare into my soul. “What did the doctor say?”

I watch the steam billow from the top of her tea and groan, trying to buy myself time. “I don’t know how to do this, Carys.” It’s the most honest thing I can tell her.

She places her mug on the marble and waits. “How to do what, Cooper? We were always friends.”

“We were never fucking friends,” I roar. “You were the love of my life.”

I flash back to the day after Nattie’s wedding... To the pain of watching her walk away on that goddamned beach.

I knew when I woke up next to her that morning, she was going to do it.

I didn’t want to accept it, but I knew it was coming.

The night before hadn’t been us coming back together, it was her saying goodbye with every touch. Every whispered word. But none of that prepared me for the pain of watching her walk away and not being able to stop it. “I got down on my knees and begged you not to destroy us. But you don’t seem to remember that.”

The pounding in my head grows stronger. “I got hurt, and all of a sudden, everything was better for you.”

I study her face. Black bags line her tired eyes.

She’s exhausted, and I’m being a dick, but I can’t stop now. “Why is that, Carys? Explain to me how my getting hurt fixed all our issues in your mind. Because it didn’t fix a damn thing for me. It fucked everything up even more.”

She gasps as if I slapped her.

“Leaving you on that beach was the most painful thing I thought I’d ever have to do. But I was wrong. Because every day after that, I had to wake up, knowing I was the reason we broke. And that pain grew each day. But I did it because I thought I was protecting you in the long run. I was okay with the pain because I was saving you from the hurt down the line.”

Her hands shake and grip the edge of the counter. “Just because I’m not sick this week doesn’t mean I won’t be next week, Cooper. The rest of my life will be about managing my lupus, and I didn’t want you to be stuck taking care of me.”

When she looks up, it’s with so much regret. “I knew...” She rubs her eyes and sighs. “I knew before you got hurt that I’d seriously fucked up. But I didn’t know how to fix it. And then we got the call. And we thought—” A sob gets caught in her throat, but she doesn’t cry. Instead, she walks slowly around the island until she’s standing next to me. Her hands frame my face, and I close my eyes and let myself just feel her for a minute.

“I knew before you got hurt, Cooper. But when we got the call, it broke me. I didn’t care who knew about us. All those months of being worried what everyone would think went flying out the window. I didn’t care how pissed any of them were. And let me tell you, Nattie and Aiden were furious. None of it mattered. I promised myself I’d do whatever it took to earn your forgiveness.”

This woman has no idea that I forgave her before I got on the plane after my sister’s wedding. That a part of me understood what she was trying to do. But a different part, a larger part, hasn’t gotten past the hurt of her throwing us away so easily.

Her thumb traces the scratch on my cheek before working its way up to my temple. It feels so damn good, I’m not sure I can even speak, but I force myself to try.

“Forgiving is the easy part, Carys. You’re forgiven. You did what you thought you needed to do. I forgive you.”

She runs her fingers through my hair, soothing the ever-present throb behind my eyes. “Then why, Coop? Why are you treating me like this?”

I give in and rest my hands on her waist. “Like what? Like I’m pissed?”

Her lip trembles in response, and I feel like a dick as she nods her head.

“Because I am pissed. I’m fucking furious that you gave up on us. I’m mad you didn’t trust me. I’m angry Linc’s dead, and I can’t believe Axel’s a fucking traitor. And I can’t believe—” I cut myself off and stare over her shoulder.

But she’s not having it. Carys brings my face back to hers. “What? You can’t believe what ?” she pushes.

I drag in a deep breath and fist her shirt in my hands. “I can’t believe I was discharged.”

“What does that mean?” she asks, confused.

“When the building fell... my head...” I stand, needing space, but Carys doesn’t budge. Her arms circle my waist as she lays her head over my heart.

I hesitate, then wrap my arms around her and lean my chin on the top of her hair. “It messed with my vision. And the Navy is strict with what’s acceptable. I no longer fall inside those parameters. I can no longer be a SEAL.”

And I’m not sure how long that’s going to take to sink in.