The Rivals of Copper County (Copper County #2)

Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

WATT

“Come on, open! Stupid fucking lock,” Jasper whimpered as I lavished wet kisses down the side of his neck. “Shit. I’m a righty. Why am I doing this left-handed?”

I grinned against his skin. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt as thrilled with life as I did standing on Jasper’s back porch, watching him fumble his keys as he tried to open the door in the dim porch light.

There were a lot of reasons for this.

One, my team had just scored an incredible win. I’d known the kids had the puck-handling skills to beat Baxter since the teams were evenly matched, but given the late start to the season and then losing Calvin to an injury early on in the game, we’d had to really pull together and battle for the W. That required adaptability and focus… skills they’d gotten thanks to my co-coach.

Two, I felt like I’d scored a win of my own today. This morning at the rink, I’d panicked. One minute, I’d been lost in Jasper’s eyes and our silly teasing, riding high on the thrill of watching him learn to skate. The next, the door had slammed, and I’d imagined a horde of Copper County gossips standing there watching, ready to cluck their tongues over Jasper’s inevitable departure and Watt Bartlett’s continued failure to relationship . It was totally irrational—even the most hardened busybody in town wasn’t that cruel, and I cared more about Jasper than their opinions anyway—but I’d reasoned that through a second too late.

Listening to Jasper’s story about his marriage had sucked, but it had shone a spotlight on my behavior too bright to ignore. I needed to adapt and focus, too, if I didn’t want to lose Jasper’s friendship.

So I had.

Possibly too well , I thought smugly as Jasper dropped his keys to the dark porch floor for the third time.

“Let me help,” I said, swooping down to grab them up.

Unfortunately, on my way back up, I got slightly distracted by the third reason I was feeling euphoric: because there was nothing as purely enjoyable in the world as kissing Jasper.

Jasper’s mouth was already distractingly damp and swollen from our earlier kisses in the truck, so obviously, I had to kiss him again, more deeply this time, taking the time to appreciate the softness of his lips and the way his taste had already become familiar.

“Not helping,” Jasper groaned breathlessly, breaking our kiss. “I’m two seconds from blowing you out here, and… no . I want a bed this time. We still haven’t made it to a bed, Watt.”

I chuckled. He was totally right. In the two weeks we’d been together—er, together as friends with benefits, that was—we’d managed some up-against-the-wall blowjobs, an up-against-a-tree handjob down by the dock, and an under-a-blanket frot on the porch swing, where Jasper had guided me as I worked both our cocks together. We’d also had a couple of couch-based orgasms, including one memorable one where Jasper had rocked his naked body against mine while John Ruffian did some heroic cowboy shit on television, and the two of us had come simultaneously a second before John had declared, “And that’s how it’s done, partner.” We’d promptly laughed ourselves silly.

The fact that we’d had so much sex in such a short time was mind-blowing, considering how many years I’d gone without having sex with another person at all. Maybe even more mind-blowing was the fact that in only two weeks, we’d established a kind of routine—practice, sex, decluttering, sex, and sometimes morning skating lessons—all of it woven through with our banter and texting. Sometimes it felt like I’d forgotten how to stop smiling… until I reminded myself that it was temporary.

That thought had me pulling Jasper back in to kiss him again.

The chilly night air clung to our skin, but I didn’t care. Jasper pressed me up against the door, his erection grinding into my hip, practically shaking with need and impatience—or maybe that was me.

“Fuck it. I can’t wait,” he breathed. The words sent a shiver through both of us.

The keys hit the porch with a loud clank . Jasper cursed, but I laughed.

Blood fizzing urgently through my veins, I reached down to unbutton my jeans while Jasper pushed down those sexy-as-fuck running tights, and then I curled my hand around both of our shafts, jerking us together.

“Oh, yeah. Shit, that’s good,” Jasper muttered against my lips, his cock already leaking. “I’m not gonna last. ”

He pressed his forehead to mine and clung to my shoulders, his body trembling with every stroke of my fist.

“Don’t. I wanna see you come for me. Love the way you lose control,” I murmured.

Jasper’s breath came in shallow pants. “But I… had plans…” With two hands, he pulled my head back just far enough to look at me. “I want you to fuck me. In a bed.”

My hand tightened around us. Fuck, yes , I wanted that. I hadn’t realized how badly until Jasper had said he wanted it, too. I wanted to be inside him, to touch and know every damn part of him.

“You want me inside you?” I growled. I reached a hand around behind him and fondled his ass the way I had earlier, this time without the barrier of his tights between us. His ass was as perfect as the rest of him, compact and firmly muscled. I tried not to worry too much about my lack of experience as I nudged his cheeks apart and slid my finger firmly over his pucker.

Jasper let out a low whine. “Yes. Fuck. Oh, God, Watt.”

His whole body locked down, his fingers dug into my shoulders, and he came all over my fist. The sounds he made, combined with the heat of his release, were enough to trigger my own, and I came so hard it was nearly painful, crying out into the still night.

“Fuck. I’m dead. Absolutely dead.” Jasper had face-planted into the front of my sweatshirt and did not lift his head. After a moment, he added, his voice soft with amusement, “The afterlife is chillier than I thought.”

I wasn’t quite ready to laugh yet. “You want that? For real?”

He lifted his head. “Death? Not at this moment, no.”

“Jasper,” I warned. “I meant… the other thing.”

“Anal sex?” He sighed and pushed himself off me. With a grimace of distaste, he pulled up his pants and knelt to retrieve the keys. “Yes. But let’s have this conversation inside after we’ve cleaned up. I shouldn’t have mentioned it that way.”

“No, I’m glad you did,” I argued. Jasper managed to open the lock on the first try this time, and pulling up my jeans with my clean hand, I followed him into the warm house. “It worked for me. Clearly. But I need a minute to… to wrap my head around actually doing it.”

“To overthink it, you mean?” Jasper teased. He led me upstairs to the pink-tiled hall bathroom, where we washed our hands side by side. “I’m kidding, to be clear.”

“I know. And I’m not… I mean… I think it would be hot as fuck, but I hadn’t really imagined going there because…”

“Because…?”

“Well… is it a friends-with-temporary-benefits kind of thing to do? Isn’t it, like, special? Or meaningful?” I blurted, then immediately blushed. “That’s probably some stupid heteronormative thing, right? If I knew what I was doing here, if I had any experience whatsoever, I’d know…”

“Watt.” Jasper crowded between me and the sink and framed my face with his hands. “I don’t expect you to have the answers or experience. I definitely don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. Believe me when I tell you that what we’re already doing is fucking amazing. Thrilling. Incredible. Best sex of my life.”

I frowned. “Really? That’s…”

Impossible , I was going to say, but was it? It was sure as fuck the best I’d ever had. The kind that made me understand what people like Ollie had been talking about my whole life.

More to the point, I didn’t think Jasper would lie.

“…that’s go od to know,” I finished.

Snorting, Jasper stepped back. “It’s really not fair that you’re cute when you’re cocky. As far as the other thing goes, plenty of gay people think anal is a bigger deal. For me…”

I held my breath. I wasn’t sure what I hoped he’d say.

You are special, Watt.

It would mean something to me, Watt .

We’re more than friends with benefits, Watt.

The last one made me suck in a breath. Did I actually want that?

“…for me, the significance of the act is less about what I’m doing and more about who I’m doing it with,” Jasper said, which was reasonable and honest… and not at all the clue I’d been hoping for. “Just kissing someone you care about means more than getting railed into the mattress by somebody else.”

I sucked in a breath as I imagined that. Jasper beneath me… Jasper taking me…

“Yeah,” I said hoarsely. “I can see that.”

“I think you’d really enjoy it, though.” He raised one teasing eyebrow. “In fact, I bet you would…”

I opened my mouth to say something—probably a whining yes, please— but before I could get the words out, the doorbell rang downstairs.

Jasper and I exchanged a startled look.

The campground was set pretty far back from the road that looped around the lake, down a long, unlit, unpaved driveway. Much like over at my orchard, there weren’t a lot of folks who “happened to be in the neighborhood” and just stopped by. Those who were—the other folks who lived around Copper Lake—generally came on foot and used the back door .

“Maybe something with Tam?” Jasper said, pushing past me to the hall. “But nobody texted.”

“Maybe a camper who doesn’t realize you’re closed for the season,” I said, following him down the stairs and into the living room.

We were both wrong.

“M-martin?” Jasper stared blankly at the man on his front stoop.

I couldn’t blame him for staring. The man was a picture of curated perfection. His salt-and-pepper hair was artfully tousled, and his skin glowed with good health. He was dressed in tailored pants that were probably nicer than anything I’d ever owned and a button-down shirt from a designer called Lanvin… which I knew because it had the word LANVIN printed stylishly across the front.

“There he is!” the man said with an affectionate grin, opening his arms in anticipation of an embrace. I had to admit, Jasper’s ex seemed more genuine than I’d imagined. I’d pictured a shifty-eyed asshole in a shiny suit. “Hi, Jazz.”

For a split second, I thought jazz! was some kind of niche LA greeting until he stepped inside the living room and grasped Jasper’s upper arms before leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Damn, you look good, sweetness. Country air must agree with you.”

Jasper, who looked like he’d been in a daze, jolted to life at the touch of the man’s mouth. “What the hell are you doing here, Martin? Where’s Emilio?”

“Back in LA, I’d imagine.” Martin turned himself in a circle, studying Mabel’s living area. Though we’d eliminated the worst of the dust and the towering stacks of hodgepodge, Jasper didn’t use this room, so we’d been storing bags of items to be donated in one corner, and the couch was covered in folded quilts. “Your mother mentioned you’d inherited the property here. How utterly… charming!”

Jasper planted his hands on his hips. “Why. Are. You. Here, Marty?”

Martin frowned. “You knew I was coming.”

I frowned. “You knew he was coming?”

“No, I didn’t know he was coming!” Jasper said furiously.

Martin turned his head as if realizing he wasn’t alone with his ex-husband. “Oh, hello there.” He took a step closer and then moved around me in a slow circle, studying me the way he had the living room. “You’re a big one, aren’t you? And that face. Stoic. Grumpy, almost. The shy, silent type. It’s rare to find untapped talent in these places, but I could see you for someone like Balmain…”

Jasper moved quick as water, putting himself between me and Martin… which was probably a good idea since I had half a mind to teach him I was neither shy nor silent. “Leave him alone. Watt has no interest in modeling.”

For a fraction of a second, Martin froze, and then he turned back on the charm. “ This is Watt? Your Katy Perry teenage dream of young love?”

I blinked. This asshole had heard of me?

“My friend Watt,” Jasper shot back.

I couldn’t see Jasper’s face since he was standing in front of me, but his spine was tight, muscles locked down. I wanted to reach out a hand to touch him, but for the first time since we’d rekindled our friendship, I wasn’t sure it would be welcome.

“I can see it.” Martin sized me up again with no hint of jealousy—which was more than I could say for myself when I was assessing him—then gave me a knowing smile. “I guess I should thank you. If it wasn’t for you, Jasper wouldn’t have hooked up with me at all.”

I glanced at Jasper, wondering what in the hell Martin meant by that, but I couldn’t see his face. All I could see were the reddened tips of his ears as he stood protectively in front of me.

“You need to leave,” he said, emotion grating his voice.

Martin exhaled, allowing his shoulders to drop. “Jazz, when you didn’t reply to my texts… that was you upping the stakes. Practically an invitation for me to come and check up on you?—”

“Jasper,” Jasper snapped. “And no, it wasn’t. Don’t pretend you came here for me at all. You came because it affects your own bottom line somehow.”

“You always could see right through me.” Martin shook his head sadly. “I miss that about you, Jaz—Jasper.”

Jasper crossed his arms in front of his chest but didn’t say anything, so Martin continued. “The truth is, I have a lead on an incredible opportunity for you, and your mother and I thought you’d be perfect for it. They’re looking for fresh faces, but I think I can convince them that you’ve been out of the game long enough for?—”

“No.”

I watched the back-and-forth like a very tense set of passes on the ice. Jasper’s single word was like a powerful shot on goal.

“N-no?” Martin asked, as if he’d never heard the word out of Jasper’s mouth before.

Jasper stood up straighter and uncrossed his arms. “I’m not interested in modeling anymore, nor am I interested in any lead you and my mother think might be best for me. If you had just taken the hint when I ignored your previous messages, you could have saved yourself?—”

“Not sure you can afford to be so dismissive, Jazz,” Martin said, losing all hint of attempted charm from earlier. “The job pays fifty grand.”

I could hear the clack as Jasper’s mouth shut. “Fifty…” He coughed lightly. “Fifty thousand? Let me guess… less a standard fifteen percent to you and Emilio for representing me? How cozy.”

He shrugged and levered himself off the couch. “That’s only fair since I’m bringing you in. But, hey. I’ll give you some time to think about it. Your mother mentioned you only have a temporary gig here in town. This would be a fantastic way of getting momentum for your new business once you’re back home.”

I sucked in a breath. The reminder that Copper County wasn’t home to Jasper sat like jagged glass in my gut. I’d gotten used to him here.

“You need to leave, Martin. Leave town and don’t come back.”

My chin dropped in a nod of agreement without thought. I didn’t want this man anywhere near my town. Anywhere near my… Jasper.

Martin held up his hands in surrender. “I’ll go. But I’ll be at the Crabapple Bed and Breakfast for a few more days when you change your mind.”

“I won’t,” Jasper assured him.

As Martin made his way to the door, he glanced back over his shoulder and met my eyes. “Great job at the game today, by the way. Really inspiring win, the two of you.”

Jasper’s jaw dropped open in surprise. “You were at the game?”

“Mmhmm. A lovely lady in town told me the hockey rink was the best place to find you, so I stuck around all day. All day, Jazz. I would’ve talked to you this morning, but you were with your…” He paused for a perfectly timed second. “Friend.” He smiled and clapped his hands together once, falling right back into the friendly, charming man who’d first entered the place. “Anyway! I’ll let you get back to your evening. Jasper, I look forward to hearing from you soon. Take care.”

He walked out the door and shut it behind him.

Jasper and I stood side by side, watching in silence through the glass in the front door as Martin’s headlights came on, turned around, and headed back down the driveway.

He exhaled long and slow. “Watt,” he began, voice dripping with apology.

“So,” I said brightly. “That was your ex, huh? Quite a guy. I feel like I might have accidentally just been sold a used car.”

He let out a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sob. “Oh, God, don’t joke.”

“No, no, really. He’s very… uh.” I scratched my head. “Slick?”

Snorting, Jasper turned and leaned against the door. “That was awful. I swear he wasn’t quite that bad before.”

“Maybe he was abducted and this is his pod person replacement?” I suggested. Misery was pouring off Jasper, and I needed to make him smile. “Maybe he signed up for some kind of Freaky Friday personality swap with Charles Manson? What do you think, Jazz ?”

Jasper’s eyes popped open. “New rule: never, ever call me that.”

I nodded instantly. “I won’t. I’m sorry.”

He threw himself against my chest with such force I staggered backward and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Ugh. No, I’m sorry. I just can’t believe I ever… What does it say about me that I was…”

“Wrong? And made a mistake? Baby…” The endearment slipped out unintentionally for the first time when we weren’t… benefitting , but I didn’t try to take it back.

It killed me to see him hurt.

I held him with one arm and cradled his head with the other. “Most of us are easily fooled by a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you were a kid when you met him. Derry’s age.”

“I wasn’t a kid when we started our business. Or when I agreed to marry him.”

“Well… okay.” I stroked his hair. “But by then, you were too close to see him for what he was, and the two of you had a complicated business relationship all wrapped up in it.”

The better question, I thought, was where the fuck had Jasper’s mom been when he was a teenager? Had she really signed him up with this guy? Had she supported their romantic relationship? Had she encouraged their marriage? Had Jasper really not had a single friend who’d said, “ What are you thinking ?”

It hurt to realize that while Jasper had been meeting this asshole, I’d been here in Copper County, misunderstanding. So much for my philosophy that when you loved someone, you were there for them when they needed you and didn’t wait for them to ask for help.

“You shouldn’t be comforting me , Watt.” Jasper pulled away, looking troubled. “Did you hear what he said at the end? He was at the rink this morning . He… he knows we’re more than friends. What if he says something to someone?”

“Then he does.” I pulled Jasper back against me because I was simply more comfortable that way .

Jasper huffed. “Then everyone in town could think we’re in a relationship. I know you’re not ready for that.”

He was right, but not for the reasons he thought. “To be fair, we are in a relationship… of sorts,” I said carefully. “And we can figure that out if it becomes necessary. My primary concern here is you .”

“But—”

“Are you okay?” I demanded, tilting Jasper’s head back so I could see his eyes. “I know that was rough. You’re not tempted to take the job he offered, are you?”

“No! I mean…” Big blue eyes blinked. “No?”

“Fifty grand is a lot of money,” I began diplomatically, “but?—”

“ But Martin is an asshole, and I don’t want to leap at the poison carrot he dangled? Yeah. I know.” He screwed up his mouth. “I can’t lie, it is tempting. It’s a lot of money. A midlevel model like me doesn’t earn that much for a campaign. Not when they’ve been out of the game as long as I have, and don’t have a social media following to speak of, and are thirty-seven. The money would help me get back in the game professionally and financially. And… I guess at least I’d know what I was getting myself into, right? Unlike when I was seventeen.”

Jasper stepped back and glanced around the room abstractedly, much the way Martin had done. “But I… I think I want to do things differently this time. I don’t know how or what, exactly, but it won’t involve modeling, and it sure as fuck won’t involve Martin, not even for $50K.”

“Good,” I croaked out.

I had a lot of other things to say about Martin, and California, and how much Jasper deserved out of life, but I could see from the way he held himself and the bleakness in his eyes that Jasper wasn’t in a position to hear them… and an yway, what I really wanted was to make Jasper feel better.

To make him feel the best .

To let him know that Martin might only have seen Jasper’s pretty face or his usefulness, but when I looked at him, I saw his strength, his resilience, his warmth, his honesty, and the soul-deep beauty of his heart. And I treasured them.

And wanted to protect them.

“Let’s go to bed,” I said instead. I wanted Jasper in my arms with nothing between us.

Jasper turned to me curiously, and though his eyes looked weary, he managed a smile. “Bed? Meaning…” He quirked an eyebrow. “You sure? I don’t want you to feel like you have to?—”

God, he was sweet. Reassuring me, even when I could see the toll Martin’s visit had taken on him.

I stepped toward him and ran a thumb over his cheek. “You never make me feel like I have to do anything, Jasper. You make me feel like I want to do things. And like I can .”

It was true and always had been, back to our very first days together—to our summer days on the dock and our silly dares.

I walked around the house, methodically locking the doors and shutting out the lights while Jasper watched in bemusement. I must have had a goofy grin on my face. Since Jasper’s return, I’d become grateful for the nights Derry spent at his mom’s. Never in all these years had I looked forward to the time to myself the way I did when I knew it meant I could share it with Jasper.

I took his hand and led him up the stairs to the little dormer bedroom that had always been his.

The space was small and utilitarian—a perfectly tidy oasis in the midst of Mabel’s collections. A wrought-iron double bed with a hand-pieced quilt sat in the middle of the room, flanked by a large chest of drawers on one side and a steamer trunk at the foot. Beside the bed, in front of the far window, was a spindle table that held a phone charger—Jasper’s, probably, since it was the only modern thing in here—and a squat, stained glass lamp. Our old signal light.

I smiled when I saw that it was already switched on. “You wanna meet me down at the dock?”

Jasper’s lips twitched. “I keep it on most of the time,” he said, blushing slightly. “It’s comforting. And I mean, it’s not like we need a signal now that we have cell phones?—”

I stopped his words with a quick kiss. “Get in bed,” I said softly.

He screwed up his mouth at my phrasing and blinked at me tiredly. “Uh. Okay? I mean, did you want to talk first about…” He gestured between us. “Or… no, I guess we don’t need to. Just remember, we can stop and switch gears anytime, Watt. I’m down for whatever with you.” He stripped off his sweatshirt and pulled the quilt down the bed.

The sight of Jasper’s naked torso made my mouth go dry and my brain turn to static, but I forced my cock not to react. I wanted to have sex with him. I very, very much did. But at the moment, I had a different goal in mind.

I stripped off my own shirt and jeans and came to stand before him in only my briefs. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” He stifled a huge yawn behind his hand. “Sorry! Sorry. Early morning skate, plus roller-coaster afternoon, plus weird fucking evening. But… Jesus, you’re hot, Watt Bartlett.” Jasper gave me an intent look that made my cock twitch with hope despite my warning. “I’ll rally. Fuck, I’m already rallying. Kiss me again. ”

A wave of tenderness swamped me.

Christ. Seriously, so fucking sweet.

“You’re down for whatever, huh?” I gently pushed his hair back with my fingers.

“Hell yes.” Jasper twined his arms around my neck. “With you? Totally. I’m vers, and I’d be more than happy to top if you wanted to try that at some point. And I meant what I said about no pressure. Whatever you want?—”

I coasted my hands up and down his bare sides, and he broke off with a little shiver.

“You know what I really want?” I said roughly.

“Tell me.” Jasper’s voice was practically a purr as he pressed himself against me. “Don’t hold back.”

“I want to get in bed with you…”

“Liking it already,” he sighed happily. “Things are so much better when you’re not trying to stay vertical. And?”

“I want to pull the blankets up…”

“Oh…kay.” Jasper blinked. “That’s a little… restrictive, but I guess it’s kinda chilly, so… sure. And then?”

“And then…” I bit my lip, trying to look seductive while also trying not to laugh. “This idea’s a little wild, so I’m not sure if you’ll be on board with it…”

His blue eyes widened. “Really?”

“Mmm.” I leaned in closer to whisper against the shell of his ear. “I want to cuddle.”

Jasper pulled his head back, gaze narrowed. “What?”

“I think you need rest more than you need sex right now. You’re exhausted, Jasper.”

“Am…” He yawned again, so hard his jaw cracked. “…not!”

I pulled him into my arms, rolled us onto the bed, then yanked up the quilt and arranged us on our sides with Jasper’s back to my chest. “Remember how we used to lay out on the dock, playing truth or dare and telling secrets? Pretend this is that.”

“Except then it was summer. And we were children. And sex wasn’t an option,” he grumbled, but I could tell by the way he stretched out and nestled back against me that the grumble was for show. “Whose secrets are we telling here? Because I’ll warn you, I’m not feeling very share-y.”

“That’s okay. You’re not going to last long. I’ll bet you fall asleep before we get very far.” I stroked a hand down his arm. “I’ll go first. Ask me a truth or dare. I guarantee you a truth for this first round.”

Jasper thought about it for a long moment. Because I knew him, I could read the tension in his body as he thought of a funny question, then quickly dismissed it in favor of something he actually wanted to know. I pressed a fond kiss to the top of his head.

“Okay, tell the truth: what was your first thought when you found out you and Rachel were having Derry?”

I sucked in a breath through my nose. “Ooof. Do you know, I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that.”

“You don’t have to…”

“I know.” I laced our fingers together and considered my answer. “I guess… I felt all the things you’d think I’d feel. Sad and angry at myself because a lot of things had to change. Nervous, once it really sank in, because everybody seemed to think Rachel and I were too young to handle it.” I snorted, thinking about the look her parents had given us when we’d told them. “But that was later. At first, I thought… I thought it couldn’t be right. It happened the very first time we had sex, so…”

Jasper turned to look at me. “You mean with each other? Or ever?”

“Both. I was a twenty-year-old virgin. I, ah…” I hesitated be cause it still wasn’t easy to talk about, but I’d seen Jasper at his most vulnerable tonight, and it felt right to share this with him. “I haven’t been truly attracted to a lot of people. Ever. Men or women. I could count them on one hand.”

He digested this for a moment, then squirmed until he was flat on his back. “Why do you sound like you’re confessing something?”

I watched my fingers trace a pattern over his chest. “Because it feels weird? I’ve never known anyone else who felt the way I do about sex. Because when it seems like the whole world is obsessed with sex and you’re not, you feel out of step… or broken? Because I’ve been truly attracted to so few people in my life that I don’t know how to classify myself?—”

“And you hate not knowing things.” Jasper raised himself up to press a kiss to my lips. “ That’s why you want a label. Because you want to make sure you’re doing sexuality right, and you assume you’re doing it wrong.”

It sounded ridiculous, but also… “Yes.” That was exactly it, though I would never have been able to articulate it that way.

Hearing him say it out loud simultaneously made sense of my feelings… and also put them in perspective.

“You’re not broken, Watt. You’re just a competitive bastard,” he said confidently. “And you think too much.”

Laughing, I dropped my forehead to his neck. He wasn’t wrong about those things, either.

My whole life, I’d been praised for doing the right thing, for settling down and being responsible, for putting others first, for being grounded and safe. “Watt’s so stable,” people would say. And “Watt’s so calm.” And “Watt’s a fucking tree.”

And I was. I was those things. That part of me had always existed, and I was proud of it. I liked that about myself.

I knew Jasper liked those things about me, too.

But Jasper saw that there was another part of me—an aspect of Watt Bartlett I didn’t display openly and most people didn’t get close enough to see.

That part of me had always enjoyed a challenge and thrived on honest competition. That part of me was an overthinker, with my mental feet paddling furiously beneath the surface, assessing and mitigating risks, while I glided across a lake of calm. That part of me had taken the shock of becoming a parent (and our families’ doubts) and thought, watch me . That part of me had taken the reins and turned my parents’ hobby farm into a working orchard to provide a stable life for my son and had a thriving business to show for it.

I liked that part of me just as much, and it meant something that he saw it.

“Thank you,” I said, “for understanding.”

Jasper yawned. “Pfft. You’re not that complicated.” He trapped my hand against his chest with both of his. “Go ahead, then. Your turn.”

“Okay, truth or dare?”

“Mmm. Truth, I guess?” He shut his eyes like he was bracing. “Hit me with it.”

I briefly considered all the things I wanted to know about Jasper. Despite all the talking we’d done over the last couple of weeks, there was still a lifetime’s worth of information I didn’t have, and I was greedy for every drop.

I wanted to know more about his relationship with Martin and whether there had been good times mixed in with the bad. I wanted to hear about the most exciting places he’d traveled and the weirdest thing he’d ever worn for a photo shoot. I wanted to hear about the friends he’d made and why he didn’t seem to be in touch with many of them anymore. I wanted to know about the most off-the-wall parties he’d ever been to—Pride parades in WeHo, music festivals, and galas—and whether he’d ever worn glitter in his pretty hair.

I wanted to know why he thought sex with me was the best. And what books he’d read (and which ones he’d absolutely hated because I knew those would be the ones he’d remember off the top of his head). I wanted to know when he’d started baking, and why he’d studied history, and how he’d gotten to be a spreadsheet genius. I wanted to know what he’d miss most about Copper County when he left and what he’d told Martin about me.

I wanted to know if he realized that he made me feel strong and capable—like his confidence that I could do or be anything made me so fucking comfortable being exactly who and what I was.

In the end, though, I didn’t ask any of those things.

“Okay. Tell the truth,” I said softly. “When you bought the Jaguar— my Jaguar—did you do it because you knew how much I wanted one?”

Jasper snorted without opening his eyes. “Are you asking if I paid twenty thousand dollars to buy a convertible ten years ago—a full decade after the last time we spoke—then spent thousands more fixing and restoring it, on the off chance that someday I’d drive it back through Copper County and score a point in an unspoken teenage dick-measuring contest against you? Don’t be stupid, Watt…”

I supposed when he put it like that…

He rolled away from me again, burrowing back against my chest while keeping my hand trapped against his own, and sighed sleepily. “…of course I did.”