The Rogue (Hideaway Springs #3)

15. Tessa

15

M y eyes shoot open but my head is still on the pillow. Pulling my hand to my chest, I frown at the steady beat of my heart.

Huh.

It’s quiet and pitch black outside my window. I have a rough idea of the time, but still, I reach for the cell phone on my nightstand to check.

4:37 A.M.

I twist back, facing the ceiling. My guess this morning was off by thirty-seven minutes. But that’s not what stuns me.

I didn’t wake gasping for air .

My sleep shirt is dry. The sheets aren’t sweat-stained.

The nightmare still plays on repeat, and even though I know history is not repeating itself, I still fear it.

But something was different tonight—just before I woke up…before that gun went off—a powerful intuition of security washed over me.

Like I somehow knew that on the other side of that wall of slumber—I was safe.

Which is strange considering my door is closed—a dumb live-in nanny rule. And I’m alone in a place where people…let’s say, tolerate me.

And a place where they regret kissing me .

Pushing stupid thoughts out of my mind, I slide into my slippers, tie my hair in a loose bun, and wash up. I’m about to walk out into the hall before remembering the house rule.

Must be fully dressed.

Right.

I dig around for a pair of lounge pants, making a mental note to order some. The little boy shorts I have in place of pants around the house definitely fall under the unacceptable pile.

I settle for a pair of spandex leggings, then pull my oversized T-shirt over it. I check the time again.

Four minutes?

I walk to the door, calculating the hours and minutes until my nanny duties start, and jump when I pull it open.

Levi is standing across the narrow hall, leaning against his bedroom door with a grin wide enough to not belong to this grumpy cowboy.

“Mornin’.”

I lower my hand from my chest. “Christ. What are you doing? Wait—have you moved all night?”

He laughs, pushing off the wall. “Of course, slept okay, too.” He steps up to me. “You?”

I tense. “You—you want me to try and sleep more, don’t you? Look, Levi—”

“Shh—you’ll wake the kid. Come on.”

“Wha—where?”

“Assuming you were just headin’ downstairs?”

“Yes, but—”

He starts down the hall, moving with an impossible energy for this hour.

I follow him down the stairs tentatively, finding the lights I’d left on last night still illuminating the main room .

He moves to raise some more lights while I turn into the kitchen. I yelp at the sight of another body—a strange elderly man I’ve never seen before. Breath caught in my throat, I flip around and slam into Levi’s chest. He captures me instantly. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s alright. Harry is a friend."

Frazzled, I look up at him, and he continues. "He’s one of the cowboys on the early shift."

Still tangled up in him, I groan and cover my face. “I’m sorry.”

Levi holds me tight against him, his voice low and soothing. "It's my fault. I should have told you someone was down here."

I twist in his arms to face the other man, scrunching my nose. “Hi, I’m…Tessa, the weird nanny.”

He holds up his hands. “No worries, lady. I’m just reportin’ for duty. Heard about you from the boys. Ain’t nobody say anything about weird. Just pretty and—” He glances at Levi. “Well, that's it.”

My cheeks heat, and I remind myself to get a grip as I slip away from Levi's protective hold. It's been a while since I had to give myself a little pep talk.

They don’t know I’m here.

They’re not going to find me.

I’m safe.

“Thank you. It’s nice to meet you.” I move toward the coffee machine. “Um…can I make you some coffee?”

“No need. Levi already took care of me.” He holds up his mug.

“Right.” I avoid glancing back at my boss to ask the obvious question right now and move to make myself a cup.

Levi is at my side in an instant, pushing my mug away. “Are you sure you're alright?” he whispers.

I pull the empty mug back. “Your staff must think I’m a freak. ”

“You had a normal reaction to someone in your space. There’s nothing wrong with that.” He pushes the empty mug back and hands me a forest-green tumbler. “Here. Filled to the brim. Two sugars."

Then turns to Harry. “We’ll be back before he’s up, but just in case, give me a ring, and we’ll head this way.”

Harry nods.

Levi turns back to me. “Put your boots on.”

“Am I going somewhere?” I ask with a yawn.

“I’m taking Harry’s morning shift at the ranch. And you’re coming with me.”

My eyes light. “Really?”

He scans me once and moves to the sofa, pulling on the afghan I’ve grown quite fond of. Then wraps it around my shoulders. “It’s chilly in the mornings.”

With our boots on, Levi stuffs the hot beverage back in my hands and moves to the sliding doors.

With a look back at Harry, I follow Levi out into the crisp summer morning.

It smells different this early in the day—an earthy aroma. Like the dampness of dew in the grass and hay from the barns mingled with wildflowers.

It’s refreshing in a way that makes you wrinkle your nose but still appreciate nature.

“Yesterday, Roger and Jackson gave you their tour. But…” He takes my hand as if I need help stepping down to the field. “You don’t really get ranch living until you’ve done the morning shift.”

We take a small two-seater tractor to the other side of the ranch, parking in front of the Wrangler Room next door to the stables .

The door creaks open as we step inside. It’s dark and about the size of one of the smaller barns Roger showed us yesterday. There’s a wooden desk, a weathered sofa, supplies, and several boxes spread throughout.

He moves behind his desk. “I just need to check the weather and confirm the schedule. Then we’ll start with the stables.”

“You do this every morning?”

“Usually start with Hideaway Headquarters. The ranch office at the entrance.”

“Why isn’t your office there?”

“Too many people. Too many questions. I’d never get any work done. It’s mostly for tourists. Group tours, weddings, photoshoots. Sales.”

“Sales? Like what you grow?”

“Meat and dairy. Supplies. Livestock. Riding lessons.”

“Sounds busy.”

“Not always. But we do our best.”

“ You do your best.” As far as I know, this is his ranch. He runs it alone.

“We’re a team. Almost everyone here has been with me since the beginning. I value loyalty and commitment. It’s hard to come by, so I treat them like partners.”

My chest tugs.

He pushes off his chair and grabs a saddle off the wall. “Come on, let’s start with the horses.”

A strong scent of hay hits my senses when we step through the side door of his office and into the stables. Horses shift in their stalls as Levi lifts a tall rake.

“This here’s a pitchfork.” He gathers hay with ease, tossing it into the feeding troughs, his muscles working beneath his shirt. Hay rustles as he tosses stacks of it for each one.

I watch as one of the horses lowers its head, munching on fresh hay .

Barely winded after all that work, Levi moves beside me, taking a sip of my coffee, then handing it back. “They’ll be safer to pet after breakfast.” He grins, leading me out the gate. “In the meantime, we’ll feed the chickens.”

We walk a small distance in the dark, my hand in his. We reach the chicken coop and Levi hands me a basket. Warmth spreads through me as he praises them, lifting fresh eggs out of the coop. I bend my knees, holding the basket out for him.

He labels them and stores the basket away for pick up. I look around to see where he parked that tractor. “You plan to show me the rest on foot?”

“Course not.” He takes my hand and brings me back to the stables. “Now that they’re not hungry, you can pet one.”

Yesterday’s ride with Levi was one hell of a thrill—but it probably wasn’t the horse as much as it was the cowboy riding her.

I roam my eyes over each one. Curious about the one Jackson was telling me about. “Which one’s yours?”

He scoffs. “All of ‘em. You mean like the one I keep?”

“Like the one you love.”

His lips quirks like I’m being funny, but his eyes fall to the far left of the stables and he moves toward it. “We try not to fall in love with horses. But…” He strokes the chestnut mare with large brown eyes that we rode yesterday. “This is Willow. Been with us for a bit now. She’s young but fully trained. We use her for lessons and ranch work until she’s sold.”

The beautiful horse leans into his touch—as I imagine any female would want to. “Why would you sell her? Why not keep her for the ranch if she’s useful?”

“No such thing as ‘not for sale,’” he says like it’s a way of life. “If a guest or tourist takes her for a ride and makes an offer, we consider it.”

“What are the factors? ”

“We screen every buyer to ensure our horses end up in good hands.” He strokes her nose again. “I’d need to know where she’s goin’, the buyer's experience and knowledge. And if our horse is suitable for whatever their plans.”

I reach out, mimicking Levi’s caress. He drops his hand when Willow’s nostrils flare slightly, her big eyes watching the newbie with curiosity.

“She’s taking in your scent.”

I stiffen. “Think she’ll like it?”

“Can’t imagine anyone not.”

I lock my eyes with his for a brief moment, offering a flirtatious smirk. As if on cue, Willow leans into my touch with a snort that makes me feel like my hands are welcome. With her permission, I trace the contours of her face and hair. “She is beautiful,” I tell him.

I wrap the blanket around my shoulders and step back, not overstaying my welcome but keeping my eyes on the beauty.

“Want the rest of your tour on her saddle?”

“Oh no. I pet. I don’t ride.”

He smirks. “That’s too bad.”

He steps past me to open the stall.

“What? That I prefer to pet instead of ride?”

Levi cocks his head, prepping Willow’s saddle. “Where I’m from, we call that a tease.”

“Are we still talkin' about the horse?”

He laughs as he hops on with practiced ease. “Yes, Tessa. We are.”

I stroke her again, considering. My eyes flick to his. “So, I’d sit behind you?”

He shrugs, looking over my shoulder. “I’d prefer to be behind you. Safety measure.” His eyes fall to my mouth when I pull my lip between my teeth .

“Alright.” I wrap the afghan tighter around my shoulders.

Levi hops off. His strong hand catches and holds mine. “Step on this and swing your leg over her back.”

“Oh, you mean I get to get on without being manhandled? Sweet.” I follow the seemingly simple step and settle my ass over the leather. “Cozy.”

Levi strokes her again and whispers something that sounds like, “Don’t embarrass me, girl.”

I laugh as he hops on behind me. “Too late for that, Cowboy.”

We ride slowly along the ranch as he points things out to me. Like a talking map, he calls out every landmark and feature. Including his favorite view of the sunrise. The pride in his voice is almost soothing.

All the while, I'm resisting the urge to lean into the heat of his body behind me. It's hard. And I need a distraction—stat.

“Now that we’re in the middle of nowhere and you’re too good of a guy to leave me stranded, can I ask about Jackson’s mom?”

He sighs. “Nothing to tell except what you already know.”

“I know she’s not allowed to see Jackson.”

“She is very much allowed. Always has been. Just not alone.”

“Besides making him lie to you, what did she do? I mean…before?”

He pulls on the reins. When I stiffen, he pulls me against his front.

“Lilly and I were married too young.”

I want to tell him that I know about Aiden disappearing for days, sometimes weeks on end, shortly after their mom died. Leaving Levi, the only one over eighteen, to look after his brothers. I wonder if Lilly came around that time.

“Was she a high school sweetheart or something?”

“Or something.”

I nod and keep my eyes straight ahead .

“She was my outlet during a time I didn’t know what to do with myself. My…responsibilities tripled overnight and…” He pauses. “She was the only thing that kept me feeling my age, I guess.”

“So what was the problem?”

“Ironically, she never grew up. Not even after Jackson was born.” He helps me shift the horse in the other direction. “Guess I should have seen that comin’.”

“How?”

“She was a free spirit. Left home years before then. Responsibilities and family meant nothing to her. Every time I tried to tell her I had to get back, check on my brothers, or prepare dinner, she’d convince me to stay. Insisted on teaching them survival rather than sacrificing my time with her.”

“So…she was possessive?”

“She was destructive. Selfish.” I feel his head dip down to my neck. “Unpredictable."

I can take a hint. “Can’t deny that about myself.”

“Unpredictable is fine. Favorable sometimes. Abandonment is not.”

“She left you.”

“I wish she did. It would have been easier. She…did the same thing I was doing when I met her. Checked in on me and Jackson, played mom and housewife like it was work rather than life, then…”

“Then what?”

I feel him shrug behind me. “Found her own outlet. Someone she felt free with.”

I grow cold. “I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t mind it. That part I should have predicted. But Jackson needed a mom. I could see the question in his eyes. The sadness. It was before he could form words that she kept disappearing." He pauses. " Thankfully, I had my brothers and Dad to help while I worked on building this place. A future for us.”

“You’ve done amazing with him.” My voice cracks, and he leans in, his stubbled face brushing behind my ear.

“You alright?”

I nod. My heart feels heavy for both of them, but there’s no good reason for it because they’re just fine. “Thanks for sharing.”

His voice shifts to something more resigned. “You’re his nanny. You should know where he’s coming from.”

“Can I ask why the supervised visits?”

“That was difficult to get. Once I gained full custody, I didn’t allow as many house visits because it gave Jackson empty promises. She kept telling him she’d be back soon. Promised him we’d be a family. After a few times of watching him wait by the door for her to never show, I took her back to court to set limits on her visits and what she’s allowed to say.”

“Poor kid.”

“I don’t feel sorry for him anymore. Especially after their last few visits.”

“What’s different about them now?”

He considers it for a moment. “She’s more like a distant relative he’s forced to see once a month. He doesn’t trust her. He knows she’s his mother and has an idea of why she’s not with us, but once we’re out of there, he’s his old self again.”

“Out of where?”

“The town bakery. I don’t let her in our house. And we don't meet at the Inn because I don't want to associate that place with something he doesn't enjoy doing.”

A breath is released from my lungs. I’m no mother but I’ll never take Levi letting me into his home for granted. I’ll be everything I can for that little boy for the rest of the summer .

He can trust me. They both can.

And I’d never make a promise I didn't intend to keep.

I’d never make a promise, period .

After sunrise, we bring the horse back to the stables and ride back to the house on the tractor. Harry is in the same seat we left him, but now there’s breakfast on the counter. All made up of items from the fridge and cupboards that the cowboy seems to have pulled together.

Jackson is cozy on the couch, watching a vicious-looking cartoon and eating a bowl of cereal.

“Oh no, I’m late for work,” I mumble, pulling the afghan off.

Levi catches it from behind my shoulders, his breath on my neck. “Knew you’d be trouble.”

I quiver from the heat—the possibilities of it.

The clouds outside the windows turn dark as thunder rolls in the distance. Levi switches on the floor lamp in the corner, casting a warm glow that gives the room a cozy summer morning vibe.

“Second time this week,” Harry says, sipping on his coffee.

Levi moves to the sliding doors. “Looks like we just made it.”

I settle on the couch next to Jackson, fighting playfully for the blanket he’s under. He responds by snuggling next to me and offering the other end of it. “Boy, you give in easily. Gotta fight for what’s yours, man.”

He shrugs. “I don’t mind sharing with you.”

“Ahh, you were raised with manners.” I quirk my lip. “Well, I wasn’t.” I launch for the remote in his other hand and he giggles, holding it for dear life.

“No. Mine.”

I tickle his side, and he drops it straight into my hand. “Okay, okay. But no old shows like Daddy watches. ”

I turn at the mention of his father, finding Levi holding a coffee mug and staring at us. I’m trying to find that familiar scowl when I do something that annoys him.

But he’s unreadable. Then he turns to his son, pointing his finger. “Knight Rider is not old.”

My jaw drops. “First of all, it’s ancient . Second, you have Knight Rider ?” I point the remote to the television eagerly. “Where? Bessie watches it, and I’ve become obsessed.”

Levi takes the remote from me, his fingers somehow skillfully avoiding mine when he swipes it. His jaw is tight. The scowl slowly reappears as he flips through the streaming shows until he finds the familiar series.

His eyes sweep past us. “We’re going to head out. Text if you need me.” He instructs no one in particular, but I’m assuming he means me.

I frown, shifting.

Does he regret telling me about Jackson’s mom? Maybe I got too comfortable? Should I be working, working? Like on my feet?

He did say cleaning wasn’t part of the job, although it does help keep me distracted when no one’s around.

“See any lightning?” Harry asks as Levi moves to a nearby storage closet for a pair of rubber boots.

“Not yet.”

“Daddy.” Jackson runs to his dad, throwing his arms around him.

“Sorry buddy, I can’t take you out there with me today. You might get a little dirty, and we need to move fast.”

“Oh no, I was just going to hug you now because you’re going to be filthy later. I’m good.” He races back like he’s been out in the cold too long and snuggles under the covers.

“Right. Later.” He and Harry walk out the door.

Despite not being totally comfortable with the affection or proximity, I could never turn the kid away as he leaps himself back to my side .

“You just let me know when you’re settled, Wiggles.”

He smiles and shifts on the side of my ribcage.

I laugh. “Jesus, kid.”

I catch a glimpse of Levi with one foot inside the tractor just outside. Hard, untrusting eyes linger on us before he hops in and drives off.

I sigh.

I’ll never make that man happy .