The Rogue’s Christmas Gift (Wicked Widows League #24)

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

T he pain in his jaw was a welcoming sting as his smile threatened to spread across his entire face. It had been days since Harrison had last feasted his eyes on the enchanting woman across the room.

Dear God she was beautiful.

Her rich dark skin, sparkling hazel eyes, and long hair only contributed to a small part of her beauty. The most gorgeous thing about Kat was her confidence.

Being separated from her for any small amount of time was more like excruciating pain than distance to Harrison.

After his family had inherited the earldom, Harrison’s life became duty and responsibility. As the heir, he’d had to provide for the family and never allow himself to be distracted again—according to his late father.

However, the girl who’d stolen his heart when he was barely a man was never far from his thoughts.

Hearing of her marriage only two months after his father had wrenched him away was like a sharp knife to his heart. Discovering that she was the infamous Madame Delcour years later was life-shaking. He couldn’t fathom that the sweet girl he’d fallen in love with was now the owner of gentlemen’s club and the most sought-after courtesan in England.

Men boasted on her prowess in the bedroom, yet Harrison did not believe the rumors. The Kat he’d known before their lives had drastically changed would not engage with multiple bed partners.

She would always be the girl he loved, his Kat. The one person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Now all he had to do was to convince her to give up everything for him. He’d spent the last year begging Kat to marry him. It was the question he should’ve asked when they were younger, but before he could, everything had changed.

“You’re here,” she said, walking toward him, looking like the young girl he’d first fallen in love with all those years ago.

Stepping deeper into the room, he closed the door behind him, happy that he didn’t have to abide by society’s rules while at Pleasure House. Being able to see Kat without the watchful eye of society had been Harrison’s greatest joy since he’d found her again.

Holding her gaze, his body led him to her like she was holding the other half of his soul, binding them together for eternity. Harrison had felt that invisible pull toward her since the first time he’d laid eyes on the vibrant young girl. He had not fathomed what it had actually meant as a boy of eight when their fathers first introduced them. But as the years passed, it had been impossible to ignore the ache in his heart for her.

Always her.

Harrison reached the center of the dark study at the same time as Kat. Without a single word he wrapped one arm around her small waist and the other around her nape of her neck, dragging her to him.

She pressed her hand to his chest, her eyes filled with desire. It was the same look she had graced him with when they were younger, the one she had given him when they had lost their innocence together.

Damn he’d never forget that night.

“Harrison,” she whispered, tilting her head.

Long lashes framed hazel wide eyes as he cupped her cheek with his free hand. Smooth, silky skin was soft to his touch, and he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms for the rest of their lives.

And now he was in jeopardy of losing her forever.

Not wanting to sour his opportunity to be alone with her, Harrison pressed his lips to hers in a soft but demanding kiss. His mouth slanted over hers as his hand slid around her nape, dragging her closer to him.

This was all he’d dreamed of since he’d lost her. They had shared the occasional stolen kiss many times before, but this one was desperate. Harrison needed her to know how utterly in love with her he was, and always would be.

To hell with duty, his mother, his sister, and the blasted title his father had loved more than his own family. He’d turned his back on her once before, but not this time. She was the one person in the whole damn world who made him happy.

Harrison no longer wanted snippets of bliss in her study or in the dark corners of ballrooms. Harrison wanted forever. Once, he had turned his back from the one person who had made him happy, a mistake that he would never repeat again.

Plundering her mouth, he relished at the soft feel of her breasts pressed against his hard chest. The hand around her waist slipped down to cup her full backside.

Dear God he had been obsessed with it as a young man. It was firm and round, and he couldn’t help but to squeeze gently, pulling a slight gasp from her sweet lips.

His mouth slanted over hers hungrily, tasting and savoring every breath and sigh she released. She was ambrosia for his starving soul.

Kat’s arms wove around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Although he was short compared to his closest friend, Richmore, he still towered over Kat though she was tall for her sex.

He lost himself to her sweet lips, wishing that this was what forever would be like for him. Harrison had dreamed of being with Kat again for so long that he feared he’d die from the agony of being without her.

“Harrison!” she called out in surprise as he scooped her up in his arms.

Kat tightened her grip around his neck as he carried her over to the black chaise lounge

in the far corner of the room. His lips found hers again in a deep, searing kiss as he guided them both down.

His cock pulsed in his breeches at the feel of her soft, pliant curves beneath his hard body. All he wanted was to sink deep inside of her and never retreat.

Katherine Smith—Kat, was everything Harrison wanted in a wife. From the moment she’d entrusted him with the gift of her innocence, there had been no doubt in his being that she would become his wife.

It had never occurred to him that it would take an entire decade for his dream to become his reality, but finally Harrison felt a shift in Kat. Eight years, eight long fucking years, since he’d last been with her. The girl of his youth was now replaced with a sensual woman who knew her own desires and needs.

Deft hands untied his cravat as his tongue glided against hers, causing shivers to race down his spine. Harrison’s free hand pulled up her skirts, exposing smooth, silky skin to his greedy touch.

Trailing soft kisses down her long neck, his fingers danced up muscular calves to strong thighs. When they were younger, Kat had been an accomplished horsewoman—they would often race around their small estates.

“Harrison,” she called out to him, arching her back and pressing her soft bosom into his chest. “I want you.” She unwrapped his cravat.

Cool air caressed his skin, his cock straining to be free. “Hmm?” he hummed running his nose against her satin skin.

“I want you,” she moaned as his fingers teased the sensitive flesh of her sex.

Entering her wet heat with two fingers had his body quivering in need, but he couldn’t have their first time together in years be as a rushed dalliance in her study.

Burying his head in her neck, he inhaled Kat’s sweet scent, willing his cock to go down. Unlike her, Harrison had not been with another in their time apart. There had been other opportunities, of course, but there was always something missing with another woman. Often, he’d made excuses on why he couldn’t partake. After years of avoidance, Harrison had removed himself from being in precarious situations altogether.

Removing his hands from heaven required pure force of will from Harrison. As he rose, he cursed his noble behavior, wishing like hell that he could be a libertine for once in his life. But this was Kat, the girl he’d rode with, fished with, the girl who had stolen his heart with a simple smile. She deserved more than a rushed encounter; she deserved the world.

“Harrison, what’s the matter?” she asked, sitting up and placing her hand on his thigh.

He tried to control the beating of his own heart as it tried to free itself from his chest, but it was impossible. Wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her to his side, kissing her deeply.

When he finally removed his lips from hers, they stared into each other’s eyes. “When we’re finally together again, a rushed shag in your study will not suffice.” He cupped her cheek, leaning in to press his forehead against hers. “I want to savor every inch of you and relish in the thought that you’re finally mine.”

Her body stiffened before she released a sigh of frustration. She stood, walking away from him, and the distance between them felt more like an ocean to Harrison.

“Yours?” she asked, her voice filled with challenge.

Harrison stood, realizing that they needed to have this conversation once and for all. They had been in an awkward dance of push and pull for the better part of a year. He wanting to be with her and she refusing.

Now, he was out of time and hoped that she would accept him.

Walking over to her, he wrapped his hand around her nape. “Mine, in every way possible. You know what I want, Kat and it’s not a quick tumble. I want forever with you.”

She took a step back, freeing herself from his embrace. “I wasn’t aware that fucking was equivalent to forever.” Her voice was bitter and void of emotions. “I’m not a debutante with a ruined reputation that needs to marry. You ruined me a long time ago, remember?”

The comment struck him like a violent blow to the abdomen. He was aware of the consequences of their actions when they were younger. It had changed both their lives irrevocably, but it was Kat who had lost her family and her home.

“Yes, I ruined you, but you and I both know that I had every intention of making you my wife then.” he said, trying not to let her coldness affect him. “I have every intention of making you my wife now.”

“You know my answer,” she whispered.

All air left the room as he closed the distance between them again. He pressed a desperate kiss to her lips, pouring every ounce of his being into that single kiss. “I was hoping it would change. Marry me, Kat,” he rasped out against her lips.

He sounded like a desperate lad to his own ears, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was making her his wife, once and for all. Harrison waited with bated breath, hoping that this time would be different.

Sighing, she pushed away from him, leaving his arms cold and wanting. “You know, If I were to ever marry again, it would be to you. Don’t ruin it, Harrison.”

“Marrying me won’t ruin anything.” He reached for her, running his hand through her thick curls.

They were longer now than when they were younger, framing her face to perfection as they brushed against the clavicle of her neck.

“You know it would. I’ve worked too hard since Jacques died to lose it all because of a childhood crush.” She shook her head.

This time, he allowed her to cross the room, making the hole in his wounded pride larger the further she was away from him.

A childhood crush? Was that all he was to her, a foolish boy who wanted to give up everything to be with the girl he loved? The girl he thought loved him?

Was he foolish still?

“I thought we were more than that, or have I been wrong all these years?” he asked, needing to know the truth.

Perhaps then he could move on with his meager life and existence. Then he would learn to take a breath without her.

“We were young.” She shook her head, her eyes misting with tears. “We didn’t know what love was.”

Harrison pressed his hand to his heart, not believing her words. “I knew,” he said emphatically. “I’ve loved you since I first met you. When our fathers first went into business together, I loved you. You were seven and I was eight years then.” A slow smile spread across his face. “I loved you when you gave me your innocence on Christmas. Our parents were entertaining well into the morning, and we spent the night together wrapped in your bed.” Hairston took several steps toward her, his gaze never leaving her frozen form. “I loved you when my father dragged me away to Somerset and locked me in my rooms for a month.” He came to a stop in front of her. It would be easy to pull her into his arms again, but he could not, and perhaps he never would. “And I loved you when your uncle informed me you had married barely two months after my departure from Nottingham.” He swallowed the large lump in his throat.

It had been pure torture when his father had locked him away in their new home, forbidding him to ever see her again. When Harrison was finally free, he left on horseback, rushing to her parents’ home only to find out that she had been cast out like she was nothing, all because of him.

Reaching London, he vowed to marry her no matter what his future entailed, but too late, she had married Jacques Delcour and was lost to Harrison forever.

“Where is this coming from?” she asked wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “You know I can’t marry you. I’ve made that perfectly clear this past year.”

Running his hand through his red hair, he tried to fight against the feeling of defeat that suddenly surrounded him.

For years, he’d tried to forget about her, to move on with his life, but he never could and wasn’t sure that he ever would.

“I want to marry you, Kat. If it was up to me, I would wait a hundred years for you to trust me enough to know that your independence would not be lost as my wife.” He ran his hand down his face. “But I no longer have the luxury of time.”

Her head snapped up, tilting to the side in confusion. “What’s changed? You were perfectly content the way things were before.”

Not perfectly content. He’d longed for more between them other than rushed kisses and secrets. But that was all she was willing to give him. Now he knew it was all she’d ever give him.

“I have to marry. I had hoped to marry you and that you would allow me a small amount of funds to right my accounts, but everything that is yours will remain yours.” He took a step toward Kat, wanting to reassure her of his sincerity and dedication.

She took his hand in her much smaller one. Her touch cool, the longing in his traitorous heart angering him. Harrison held his breath, anticipating her next words. They would either make him the happiest man alive or destroy him completely.

“If it is funds you need, I will happily give them to you.” She squeezed his hand, a bright smile spreading across her gorgeous face.

Relief shined through her eyes and her happy smile carved a hole in his chest. Removing his hand from hers, Harrison took several steps away, needing to clear his mind. It was impossible with her sweet smell of orange blossoms and citrus permeating the air. Harrison could admit that he lost all sense of rational thought when it came to Kat, but perhaps the girl he knew really was long gone.

As he stood there, he realized there was nothing left of the girl he’d once loved. The beauty standing in front of him was Madame Kitty Delcour. Katherine Smith was gone; perhaps he’d lost her for good when he’d left Nottingham all those years ago.

“I don’t want your charity. I want your love, but I see now that it’s something you’re not willing to give. Perhaps I never had it to begin with.” Standing to his full height, Harrison stared at the woman he loved. “Goodbye, Kat.”

“Harrison, wait, don’t leave like this,” she called after him.

He halted with a painful grip on the door handle. Breathing in and out, he took a moment before he released it and faced her. “Marry me?” he asked, no hint of laughter or joy in his voice.

If Kat wanted him to remain by her side, all she had to do was say yes. He didn’t give a damn about her money or saving his blasted family. All he wanted was to know the woman loved him in return.

Tears ran down her cheeks, her head shaking. “I-I can’t.”

He stood there in the middle of her study for what seemed like an eternity before he could move again. Nodding, he looked up, allowing his tears to fall.

For years Harrison had held on to the hope of them, but no more.

No more.

“Then this is truly goodbye.”

He turned and strolled out of the study with a heavy heart. The sound of her tears followed him out the door. Harrison told himself they meant nothing to him, just like he meant nothing to her.

Harrison strolled through the now empty halls of Pleasure House willing his legs to move faster. He ignored the jovial sounds of laughter and dancing that wafted through the doors of the ballroom.

“Hendershot, I was wondering where you were.” The Duke of Richmore, one of Harrison’s closest friends greeted him as he and his wife, Winnie, walked toward the ballroom.

Richmore’s obscenely large body towered over Harrison, who wasn’t short for a man, his friend was oddly massive in both height and proportion.

“Richmore, Your Grace,” Harrison bowed to Winnie.

Winnie had grown up in Nottingham with him and Kat; they were practically brother and sister when they were younger.

She flung a gloved hand at him. “Oh, stop it you. None of this Your Grace nonsense. I’m your closest friend.” Her blonde hair was piled high on her head as blue eyes gleamed in the candlelight.

Richmore pulled his wife closer to his side. “I thought I was his closest friend?” he teased looking down at her with a twinkle in his eye.

A pang of jealousy pierced Harrison, and suddenly he wanted to flee his friends. He was happy for them, but knowing that he’d never have a love like theirs was too painful to witness at that moment.

“Since Aberdeen is yours, I think Winnie should be mine,” he said, forcing himself to relax in his friends company. “How is my godson?”

He couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at his lips at the mention of their son, Reginald. Perhaps he’d received the title of godfather because Aberdeen had been traveling at the time Reginald was born, but it mattered not to Harrison. Whatever, the reason, he had a godson, one who would depend on him and need his guidance.

“He’s at the townhouse with the nanny. We’re leaving for Brown Manor in sennight. Perhaps you and Kitty could join us for Christmas. The four of us can travel back for the Christmas Ball.” Winnie gave him a broad smile.

Harrison avoided eye contact with his friend, too afraid that she would see how absolutely devastated he was.

“I would love to see my godson for Christmas. However, I do not believe I will attend Madame Delcour’s Christmas Ball,” he said rather stiffly, noticing how Richmore was suddenly peering at him in shock.

“Madame Delcour?” his friend asked. “Not Kat, not Kitty. What is the matter with you?” Richmore demanded to know.

“Did something happen between you two?” Winnie asked, placing her hand on Harrison’s arm.

He cleared his throat several times, searching for the words. “The Madame has made it perfectly clear that she is unable to offer me anything further than our current relationship.”

He tried to hide the bitterness and disappointment in his voice, but failed.

“Harrison, you must give her time.” She squeezed his arm, warm eyes peering up at him like she wanted to say more.

Time?

He’d given Kat years of his life, if he was being honest with himself. She was the reason he’d never married, never pursued another woman. It was simple really, no one could ever compare to her in his heart. “I’m afraid I do not have time to give her.”

“The estate?” Richmore asked. “There’s no need to do anything imprudent this evening. Give her time before you do anything like marry the first eligible lady your mother chooses.”

“He wouldn’t do that, would you?” Winnie asked him, looking from Harrison to her husband. “Promise me you’ll speak with Kitty. I know she still loves you, but she has been an independent woman for years, and now Jacques’s brother is threatening everything that she has built.”

He was well aware of Pierre Delcour’s claim—everyone in London knew that the case had been in the Court of Chancery for over a year. Yet, he could not find it in himself to allow Kat to treat him with such disregard.

“I wish Madame Delcour well, but it is time that I move on. Enjoy your evening, I know how much you two love being here.” He gave his friends a friendly wink before he walked away.

Harrison no longer wished to stand there speaking of the woman who had broken his heart for the second time in his life.