The Season of Falling

11. Chapter 11

Chapter eleven

Kasey

I always looked forward to my Thursday dialysis dates with Grandpa, but this time I was a bit wary. He was going to have a lot of questions, and I hadn’t decided how to answer them yet. Grandpa had always been good at seeing through any lies I’d tried to tell growing up. He’d been there at the hospital the day I’d gone to visit Dean, and he knew that Dean and I had been friends for years. There was no reason I wouldn’t have told him if we actually started dating.

My fingers tapped a nervous rhythm on the steering wheel for a few moments before I steeled my nerves and climbed out of the car. I made my way up the steps and glanced toward the porch swing where Dean and I had sat together. I smiled at the memory and stepped inside. “Grandpa?” I called as I sat my keys on the entry table.

“Hey Kase, I’m in the kitchen.”

He was pouring himself a glass of lemonade when I walked in. I declined his offer of a cup and took a seat on a bar stool, swiveling myself from side to side. His hands shook slightly as he put the pitcher into the fridge, and I wanted to jump up and help him, but I knew he wouldn’t appreciate it. We sat in a comfortable silence while he finished his drink. I was content to keep the conversation to a minimum if it meant avoiding the topic of Dean and me.

All feelings of security fled the moment we got into the car.

“So, you and Dean, huh?” he asked with a smirk.

I’d let his companionable silence fill me up with false hope, and now the moment of reckoning had arrived. I was grateful that I had the task of driving to focus on while I struggled to figure out what to say. “Yeah…like I said the other day, it’s pretty new.”

“Kasey,” Grandpa chided in his “You’re not telling me the truth" voice.

I sighed. I already knew that I wasn’t likely to get away with the half truths I’d told at dinner, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t foolishly optimistic. I briefly debated trying for a more convincing lie, but quickly tossed that idea away. He’d probably just call Kendra and get the truth from her anyway. So I told him the whole story, making it abundantly clear that it was basically all Kendra’s doing.

Grandpa whistled softly when I finished my tale. “Well I’ll be. That is quite the story. I’m not sure how I feel about you lying to that boy, though. You two have been friends for quite some time, and I don’t know if he deserves that.”

I felt a pang of guilt at his words. He was right about that; Dean didn’t deserve my lies. We’d always told each other everything. Well, except for the part where I’d been hiding my feelings for him almost from the day we met.

I opened my mouth to say what, I didn’t know, but Grandpa continued speaking. “I’ve always thought you two would end up together though. And if a hit to the head is what makes him realize it, maybe it was fate.”

“Grandpa!” I gasped, apparently horrified at my grandfather more and more often these days. “I wouldn’t wish that accident on him even if it meant we ended up together.”

“All I’m saying is that I’m not going to get in your way. This sounds an awful lot like a scheme that Ro and Hazel cooked up, and you three together make a formidable team. And if Kendra’s part of it too? I’m definitely staying out of the way.” He chuckled. “But be careful, Kasey. Both you and Dean’s hearts are at stake here, and I don’t want to see you hurt in the end.”

He was satisfied with my promise to be careful, and the rest of our drive to the dialysis center went by without any more awkward conversations. Grandpa had given me more to think about. I’d already decided to be all in with dating Dean, and of course I’d considered all the possibilities about how it might not work out or leave me heartbroken. But I was willing to risk a broken heart if it meant being with Dean. I would just lie the least amount that I could and focus on doing what I could to encourage him to fall in love.

I’d spent many hours sitting with Grandpa, and the clicking and whirring sounds of the dialysis machine were a steady background to my thoughts. When my phone started vibrating, I jumped, and Grandpa chuckled. My heart leapt when I saw that it was Dean calling, and I looked up to meet Grandpa’s eyes.

“What are you waiting for? Go and talk to Dean.”

“How do you know who’s calling?” I asked in confusion.

“That smile on your face told me exactly who it is. Now go on,” he urged again. I grinned and stepped out into the hallway.

“Hey, Dean.”

“Kasey,” he exclaimed. “How are you?”

“Good, I’m at the dialysis center with Grandpa right now.”

“Oh shoot! It’s Thursday; I completely forgot. I can call back later?”

I smiled at his thoughtfulness. “No need. I stepped into the hallway so I’m not disturbing anyone. What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date Saturday morning?”

Now, I’ve never been big on swooning. I’ve read romance novels and seen the movies and I’m not about to faint dead away when something important happens like they do. But there, in the middle of the hospital hallway, I swear I almost did. Maybe I was being dramatic, but Dean Ellis had asked me on a date! I started to slide down to the floor but thought better of it after remembering where I was and settled on leaning back against the wall behind me.

“Kasey? You still there?” Dean’s voice was steady and smooth and even over the phone it made me want to curl up and listen to him talk all day long.

“Sorry, yeah. I must have a bad connection or something. What were you saying?”

“I asked if you’re free Saturday morning to go on a date?”

I wanted to jump up and down and celebrate this important moment, but I resisted. To Dean, going on a date would be a normal thing that normal couples would do. So I kept my cool. “Yeah, that sounds great! I should be free. What are we doing?”

Dean chuckled. “You’ll have to wait and see. It’s a surprise.” He told me to dress for the weather and be ready by nine AM before we said our goodbyes and I went back to Grandpa.

“What was that about?” he asked as I shut the door behind me.

“Dean asked me on a date,” I said in an awestruck voice.

“Well it’s about time.”

I laughed but couldn’t help agreeing with his assessment. It was about time.

Saturday morning greeted me with a slight chill in the air. It was only the beginning of September, but autumn could surprise a person at any moment. I dressed in jeans and a soft pink sweater that was light enough to be comfortable even as the day warmed up.

And then I waited.

I was ready earlier than I needed to be, but I didn’t want to risk running late. Dean didn’t know it, but this was our first date. A day I’d been dreaming about for literal years. And there was no way that I was about to be late to this best-day-of-my-life-so-far moment.

After five minutes, I gave up on sitting patiently on the couch and took to pacing around the living room. My apartment was cute and decorated with pretty florals in cream and sage green, and I loved it. I didn’t have any photos on the wall and suddenly wanted to remedy that. I sat back down and started scrolling through my photos and favoriting the ones I wanted to print.

When Dean’s knock came, I jumped up and slipped my phone into my back pocket, surprised that the time had passed so quickly. When I opened the door, Dean stood there grinning at me with his blue eyes sparkling, and I forgot to breathe for a minute. His dimples were on full display, and I had the sudden urge to reach out and press my thumb against them. I shook off the thought and smiled broadly up at him.

“Good morning.” I said brightly.

Dean stepped through the door and wrapped me up in a hug. “Morning, Kasey. Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” I asked, leaning back and batting my eyelashes playfully.

Dean laughed. “You’re just going to have to wait and see.”

I groaned, but the effect was ruined by the smile I could feel tugging at the corners of my mouth. “Oh, all right. Do you want anything to eat before we go?” I asked as I regretfully stepped away from his cozy embrace.

“We’ll have everything we need where we’re going.”

I raised an eyebrow, but he smiled, shrugged, and gestured me to the door. As soon as I pulled it shut behind me, Dean grabbed my hand in his and began swinging it between us as we walked. I sighed involuntarily and then immediately faked a yawn to try and cover it up. Yes, I wanted Dean to know I was basically head-over-heels for him, but did I have to be so embarrassing about it?

“Are we walking?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s not too far.”

Despite the brisk morning air, we walked slowly, meandering down Burlington’s streets. I was the one with the list yet somehow Dean was making all the moves in this pretend-turned-real relationship. The hugging, the hand holding, the date. I hadn’t done anything on my list yet to encourage him or make this whole thing feel real.

When we reached Pine Street, I knew exactly where we were going. “The farmer’s market?” I gasped, the excitement evident in my voice.

Dean chuckled. “I know you love it, and this seemed like the perfect day.”

I bounced on my toes, unable to contain my eagerness. He was right, I loved the farmer’s market. Even when I didn’t plan to buy anything, I loved walking around, trying samples, seeing all the fresh produce, and just taking in the thrum of activity. It was a community space where people came together to support each other and try new things, and I couldn’t get enough of it.

Dean tugged on my arm, and I realized that I had stopped and was staring at the people milling about and the tents all set up for a day at the market.

“Come on, let’s go find something to eat.” He didn’t need to tell me more than once, and I set off immediately toward the back corner where my favorite food stand would be. As we arrived, I inhaled the smell of woodfired bread. Each little bundle of bread was packed full with a delicious center and then woodfired to perfection. I couldn’t resist stopping by the booth every time I came and usually walked away with one or two new flavors to try.

“You go over there and get some cider while I get us a few of these,” I said to Dean, gesturing at a tent across the lot. “And then you can grab us a seat, and I’ll find you.”

As he walked away, I turned my attention back to the bread. There were so many delicious options to choose from. Bread with garlic, pesto, blueberries, feta, arugula, pizza sauce, cinnamon, and more. My mouth was watering just thinking about it all. I stepped closer to get a better view of the breads laid out on the table.

“Good morning.” the lady behind the table said brightly. “Oh wait, I recognize you. You must come here a lot.”

I laughed. “Yours might be my favorite booth of the market. I always try to come and see what you’ve got. That apple cinnamon one is calling my name!”

“That’s one of my favorites. I also recommend the roasted garlic and feta. But only if you like garlic because it’s whole pieces in there.”

After giving them all another once over, I decided to go with the apple cinnamon and garlic and feta like she suggested. I was glad that she had plastic forks and knives, and I grabbed a couple to take with me. She smiled at me as I paid and thanked her before I walked over to the picnic tables to find Dean.

He already had two cups of freshly mulled cider and had found the perfect people watching spot. As I got closer, I held up the brown paper bag as though it was a trophy I was showing off, and Dean laughed. I set our breakfast on the table and took a seat across from him.

“What did you pick out for us?” he asked, looking curiously at the wax paper covered bundles I pulled out of the bag.

“It’s woodfired bread,” I explained. “It’s delicious. I got an apple cinnamon one and a roasted garlic and feta one. I figured we could split them.”

Dean agreed, and I cut the garlic one in half before we both took a bite. I closed my eyes and let out an appreciative groan. “Oh man, this is so good.” I took another bite and chewed slowly. I wanted to savor the bread, the melty cheese, and the nutty garlic. The flavors all combined perfectly, and it was like heaven in my mouth.

I opened my eyes to see Dean eating his bread but watching me. “What?” I asked with a hesitant smile. “Don’t you like it?”

“It’s delicious. But I was just enjoying how much you liked it.”

I ducked my head and focused on cutting the other little loaf in half. “I’m certainly not quiet about my love of food, that’s for sure.”

“I think it’s better when we don’t hide the things that make us happy or bring us enjoyment,” Dean said. “Life is hard and messy enough as it is. Might as well enjoy it as much as we can.”

I handed him his half of the apple one and smiled in agreement. “Here, try this one now and tell me which one you like more.” It was like apple pie filling folded into a delicious pocket of bread and I loved it.

“There’s no way I can pick a favorite,” Dean said after a few minutes. “They’re both so different but so good.”

I nodded. “That's what I was thinking. Hard to compare apples and oranges, or in this case apples and garlic.” I took my last few bites and started to crumple up the paper and stuff it back into the brown paper bag.

“Oh hey, you’ve got a little something on your face,” Dean said, motioning to my cheek. I wiped my hand on my cheek but Dean smiled and shook his head. “Here, let me.”

We both leaned forward and were suddenly very close. I could see the little dark specks scattered throughout his beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes flicked down to my mouth, and I went still. Was Dean thinking about kissing me? For a moment, I imagined what his lips would feel like pressed against mine, the way they would taste like apple cinnamon from the bread we’d just eaten. I imagined melting against him and letting him pull me close. But then he brought his thumb up to my face and brushed the crumbs away before leaning back and quickly grabbing his cup of apple cider. I sat frozen for a few seconds before grabbing my own cup and taking a sip.

Even the crisp apple taste couldn’t distract me from my thoughts though. The crumbs he’d brushed away had been near my mouth so that could have been the reason, but I didn’t think so. My gut told me that, at least for the briefest moment, Dean had thought about kissing me. And even though it hadn’t happened, it was enough to make my heart soar.

We spent the rest of the morning wandering through the market. It was slowly warming up, and more and more people came out to enjoy the day. There were only a few trees starting to change colors, but the excitement of autumn hung in the air, and more than a few people were sporting sweaters and boots in honor of the occasion.

One of the best parts of the farmers market was trying all the free samples and our favorite was the maple syrup. Everyone thinks of Canada when maple syrup is brought up, but Vermont holds its own. The syrup was sweet and gooey, and I was suddenly craving a large stack of pancakes that I could douse in the stuff.

Dean must have seen my look because he bought a bottle. “Maybe our next breakfast date can be pancakes,” he said with a wink.

“It’s like you read my mind,” I sighed happily.

“I think this many years of friendship comes with some perks.” He grinned and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the apple cider doughnut booth.

We walked hand in hand through all the booths, admiring the handmade creations and appreciating all the delicious aromas. We talked and laughed and teased. It was the best day I’d had in a long time, and I didn’t want it to end.

Dean

Holding Kasey’s hand made my heart beat concerningly fast. Was there actually something wrong with me other than the obvious amnesia problem? No, but I was still concerned. It was just holding hands.

Her fingers curled around mine so naturally, like they’d been made to fit together. My chest swelled with warmth, and a content smile rested on my face. Kasey tugged on my arm, and it snapped me from my thoughts. I followed her around the booths, simply enjoying being together.

I knew the farmers market was the perfect first date. Well, I’m sure it wasn’t our actual first date. But that’s how I was thinking of it since it was the first date we’d been on that I could remember. And I’d wanted it to be perfect.

“Hey, Kase?” I asked as she stopped at a booth selling handmade jewelry. “What was our first date?”

She glanced at me with wide eyes before jerking her gaze back to the table of rings and bracelets. “Oh, uh…it was actually kind of just like this.” Her eyes flicked briefly back up to mine before resting firmly on the booths around us.

“Really? We came to the farmers market for our first date?” I asked, incredulous. How had I managed that? And Kasey hadn’t seemed the least bit put out about it. “Well, I apologize for a repeat date.”

“No, no. Don’t apologize. This first date is perfect. I’ve loved every second of it.” She wrapped her hand more firmly around mine and walked to the next booth.

I wished I could remember that first farmers market date. Had this one been an exact replica? I rubbed absently at my forehead as if dusting away the cobwebs in my brain would make the memories underneath visible. I sighed and turned my focus back to Kasey. Whether we’d been on this date before or not, I wanted to enjoy it all with her. And hopefully, not forget it this time.