The Secrets of Roan Island

14. Noah

14

Noah

“ I don’t feel much like going to the library today,” Ruby says from across the breakfast table. She dabs her full lips with her napkin and moves her attention to the window. She seems subdued this morning, whereas other mornings she’s been full of sass.

My coffee cup hits the saucer a little too hard. “Don’t you want to research as much as you can before you go?”

Every day I’ve pulled out more books that might have something about women’s studies for her. And every day she’s insisted she’s found nothing of use. After her anger yesterday, I find myself wanting to give her something before she leaves, some tidbit of knowledge to help with her next paper.

“I’d prefer to secure a grant from your father.”

“We’ve been over this.” Using my pristine white napkin, I dab up the coffee that sloshed over the rim of my cup onto the saucer. “You aren’t getting that grant. He hasn’t granted you an audience, and he’s not going to.”

She lifts her chin indignantly. “Your father assured me he would speak to me after the new moon party.”

“What?” My chair flies back as I stand, revealing too much. Closing my eyes, I try to compose myself, then blink and turn away, reaching for the coffee service to refill my cup. One of my hearts is in my throat at the thought of my father talking to Ruby, the other is in my gut, burning with rage. “You won’t be here then.”

“That’s not what he told me.”

“When did you speak to my father?”

She doesn’t answer right away. I return to my seat and level my gaze on her. She avoids eye contact, her cheeks brighter than normal.

“Answer the question, Miss Rose.”

Her eyes lift to mine with that characteristic vigor and challenge. “We happened to run into each other.”

Vague. Tactful.

“Did he come to your rooms?” If he did, I’ll snap his neck and keep it that way, no matter how fast he heals or how he controls me. I can’t bear the thought of him alone with her. I don’t know what game he’s playing, but my father is a wild card. He’s dressing her up like a doll version of my sister to remind my brothers and me what’s at stake. But he could just as easily kill Ruby. Knowing my father has something up his sleeve makes my blood run cold.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” she scolds, her blush deepening. “It wasn’t in my rooms.”

There’s something she’s not telling me. But I let her get away with her secrets. For now. I’ll pry it out of her eventually.

I extend a hand to help her up. “I’ll escort you to the library.”

Her hand slides into mine—I’d forgotten she doesn’t wear gloves during the day—and that familiar heat burns across my skin straight to my hearts. They race in my chest, then tighten with unquenched desire.

Lying to myself that I don’t want Ruby is ridiculous. I want her, more than I can remember ever wanting anyone, and I’m afraid where that craving is going to take me on the new moon.

When I hear Ruby’s quick gasp, when her blush deepens and her eyes skitter to my face, then drop to my lips, I know I’m not alone in this attraction. That awareness makes her being on the island for the new moon even more perilous.

“I said I don’t want to go to the library today.” Her voice sounds thin and brittle. “Is there a garden where I can get a breath of fresh air?”

“It’s cold. And the wildlife isn’t friendly.” The island isn’t particularly dangerous, but it’s untamed, and I don’t like the thought of her being hurt in any way, even from something as small as the scratch of a bare branch or an insect bite. Mine should be the only teeth that taste her.

“It’s stopped raining, and I’ll stay close to the house.” She stubbornly drops my hand, and I clench my fingers as she moves toward the door.

I catch up quickly, retrieving her hand and tucking it in the crook of my elbow. I’m supposed to be experimenting today while Shemaiah keeps an eye on Ruby. But he’s not here, and the infuriating, obstinate woman is insistent.

“I have a better idea.” I lead her toward the east stairs, which are only accessible through an ancient corridor tucked discreetly between two pillars that one might miss if not aware it was there. This estate has been through many Roans, traced back for centuries, each family making their mark so the house is now an eclectic mix of additions that sometimes fail to make sense. Like the stairs that go nowhere in the south wing. This part of the mansion is older than the rest, made with thick stone walls like a castle. I’m hopeful the reveal of what looks like a secret corridor might appeal to Ruby’s need for discovering the unknown.

“So, what is a new moon party? I’ve never heard of it before.”

I press my lips together and clench my teeth as I lead her through a cramped hallway. The old stone arches above us, but it’s too low, making me feel hemmed in. The last thing I want to talk about is the new moon party. “It doesn’t matter. You’ll be gone by then.”

She yanks her hand away from my arm and stops abruptly. “I most certainly will not. Your father said he wouldn’t talk about the grant until after the new moon, and I have no intention of leaving before I’ve secured the money I need.”

She’s going to get herself killed. I seize her hand and wrap it around my forearm again, holding it in place as I tug her closer.

She resists so that her steps slide over the old stone, then suddenly acquiesces, tumbling into me. My arm holding her hand is caught between us, but my other wraps around her back, keeping her steady. One of her hands splays against my chest. I can smell her, that enticing scent of copper mixed with that earthy floral that messes with my equilibrium. Instinctually, I lean in, my head tucked closer to her neck, her scent so fucking good. Delicious. Tempting. Mouth-watering.

When my nose scrapes her neck, she gasps, leaning a little closer, snapping me from my trance.

I straighten and resume walking. My mind jumps through possible things to say, trying to find some way to convince her to leave. If it’s money she wants, there must be something we own worth the value of the grant she’s seeking.

“Is the party like the winter celebrations in New Essik? Do you decorate a tree? Exchange gifts?”

“No.”

When she realizes I’m not going to give her more, she tugs her hand away again, but I keep her securely tucked into my side. Holding on to her might be petty, but it’s keeping me grounded as my thoughts spiral. Why would my father want her here for the new moon party? Granted, it’s not as dangerous as her being here for Solstice, but it’s still likely to end in questions I don’t want Ruby asking.

I turn her between the pillars to start up the narrow stairs.

She draws in a breath. “Oh. This is–”

Stained glass windows line the twisting tower stairwell, each one a different color, making a pattern of rainbow light on the steps. I want to feel self-satisfied at how I knew she’d love the romance of this section of the house, but I can’t. First, it’s a trick to distract her, and since getting to know her, I hate that I resort to the same immature maneuvering as my father. Second, she deserves the truth even if I can’t give it to her, even if a part of me wishes I could. A ridiculous, foolish part, but the desire is there nonetheless.

I don’t linger, tugging her up the narrow stairway.

“Mr. Roan,” she says in a sharp, reprimanding voice. “If you refuse to answer my questions, perhaps I should find one of your brothers. Maybe they’ll escort me on a walk outside and tell me what I want to know about the new moon party. I’m sure Jafeth–”

“We’re here.” A jealous growl rumbles in my chest as I swing open the heavy wooden door as if it’s nothing.

Ruby sucks in a breath.

The sound makes my cock twitch.

I’m going to give Shemaiah a piece of my mind for not showing up to escort Ruby to the library. He never should have left her with me.

The flat roof top of the east tower stretches in front of us. The blunt teeth of the parapet enclose us like a cage, an empty trap tightening around me. I usually love the view from up here, but the space suddenly feels too small and too expansive all at once.

Ruby steps through the door a pace ahead of me, and I finally let go of her hand, watching as she tilts her face to the sun. The wind whips locks of her dark hair from the tight bun pinned at the nape of her neck. In the sunlight, the escaped strands glow auburn as they dance around her face. She laughs, delighted.

I realize I haven’t had much opportunity to look at her in the natural light. I’ve mostly seen her through candle light. Her beauty is ethereal, her alabaster skin smooth and supple. Her rosy lips curl with a smile, her eyes closing as she draws a deep breath. I shift, suddenly uncomfortable in more ways than I’d like to acknowledge.

“This is beautiful.” She starts across the expanse, a lone flower in a sea of stone. I follow, unable to keep away from her. When she gets to the parapet and leans over, my stomach drops. She wouldn’t recover from a fall like I would. As quick as a thought, I circle my arm around her waist and hold tight.

She looks up at me, her lips parted with surprise.

“Be careful,” I say, but I’m not sure I’m talking about the possibility of a fall. My hearts knock against the inside of my chest, and my grip tightens. Everything in me compels me to claim her. One part of me pushing to kiss her, another to bite, another to fuck. But I can’t allow my instincts any leeway. Not with her.

The tower juts above the trees, giving us a clear view of Lake Nettor, which glistens like Ruby’s namesake in the early morning light. We normally have snow by this time of year, but today the sun is bright, as if it mocks my dilemma. I can’t let Ruby stay here, but I’m not sure how to convince her to leave. Or how I’ll deal with her departure.

She shivers and wraps her arms around herself. I drape my jacket over her shoulders and tuck her into my side. For a few minutes, we just look out over the island. A flock of birds swoops up out of the trees and over the water, dancing on the wind.

“Will you tell me about the new moon party now?” Her voice is whisper-soft. Her warm breath battles the cold on my cheek.

I imagine prior new moon events. I think about the urge to hunt, the adrenaline coursing through my body when I’ve caught my prey. The taste of blood. Then I picture that being Ruby and shudder before drawing her closer. “If I begged you, would you leave before the new moon?”

She shakes her head slowly. “You know I wouldn’t. I need this grant too much.”

“Why? I know your last paper wasn’t met with applause, but you’re clearly intelligent, an asset to the university.”

Her barking laugh is too bitter for this powerful woman I’ve observed over the past… has it really only been two weeks?

She ducks out of my hold and starts around the circle of the parapet. The wind lashes her skirts around her legs and tugs at her hair. I envy the wind’s ability to undo her. I want to yank out the last pins and run my fingers through those silky strands. Wrap them around my fist and pull.

“My ex-husband is the dean of my department,” she says, continuing our conversation as she walks. “He’s threatened to fire me multiple times already. My only hope is to make myself so valuable to the college that he wouldn’t dare to go through with it.”

With a satisfied smirk, I tuck the information away and consider all the things I’ll do once I track down the man she just inadvertently revealed. Her abuser will meet his end at my wrath.

She stops, staring at the landscape beyond. “I have no other source of income. My only skill is research. If I can’t secure this grant…”

I turn her, tilting her chin up. Her eyes flutter closed momentarily until I brush my thumb along her cheekbone, enticing her to look at me. Her pupils dilate, and my breath collects in my chest, my hearts at war with my lungs, both needing more. “I’ll get you your grant, Ruby.”

She swallows. Our eyes hold.

The thought of her leaving guts me like a knife ripping through my sternum. But having her here during the new moon, when my brothers and I are overcome with hunger, when my father is most uncontrollable… I can’t risk it.

I’ll give her some of Zarah’s old jewelry. There should be plenty there for the grant. Or she can live off of it herself for a few years until she gets her feet under her. I don’t care what she does with it, as long as she’s safe. “Then you’ll leave.”

“What about my research?” she whispers.

I clear my throat and step away, putting distance between myself and temptation. “You won’t find anything here.” Folding my hands together behind my back to keep from reaching out to her again, I tell her exactly how this will go. “I’ll escort you to the boat early in the morning.”

Before my father wakes. Before he can stop it from happening. Before the new moon party tomorrow night.