The Secrets of Roan Island

21. Noah

21

Noah

“ W hat do you mean, no?” I feel feral, completely at odds with the rational part of my brain. I’ve nearly killed a man at a new moon party, but all I see is her.

Before I can stop myself, I charge toward her, pinning her to the wall. “Don’t you get it! I’m dangerous. I’m the monster from your nightmares. The devil you should fear.”

She shakes her head, her eyes never leaving mine. Never wavering. “You’re not.”

Looking at her, my hearts slow. I don’t know what she sees in me, how she can look at me the way she’s looking at me now after what she just witnessed. There isn’t fear in her gaze, there’s something else. Something like compassion. It guts me. I step away and sink down on the chaise along the wall, elbows to knees and hands clasped behind my neck as I stare at the blood-speckled floor.

“But you see what I’m capable of, what I’ve done.” My inhale barely fills my lungs. I need to calm down, need to make her understand, but my blood pounds in my ears, my hearts racing at a dangerous pace. “You’re not safe here, Ruby. Not with my father. My brothers. Me . You’re a butterfly among beasts.”

When I risk a glance up, Ruby’s staring down at her ex-husband, the man who hurt her, who I’d still like to eviscerate. He’s unconscious, knocked out from the pain and the blood loss, since I refused to use the venom that would have made the experience pleasurable and healed his wounds quickly. Not for him.

“I know monsters, Noah.” Her gaze shifts from David to me. All the adrenaline has seeped out of her, leaving her looking tired and vulnerable. She walks toward me with sure steps and sits so close her hip presses against my side. Her sweet scent floods my nostrils. The blood I took from David has curbed my hunger, but I’m not satiated. What I really want, I still haven’t tasted. I bite my fangs into my own lip and knot my hands together to keep from reaching for her. At least now that I’ve fed, I feel more in control of myself. Slightly.

“When I was twelve, my younger sister and I were out playing in our tenement. I was supposed to be watching her, but she was–” Ruby pauses, looking at her hands clasped in her lap. She offers a short smile filled with poignancy and grief. “She was ten and refused to listen to me when I told her not to go past the boundary. We fought, and I left her.”

I think of my own brothers, our fights over silly things as children. Something so normal. I don’t understand why she’s telling the story, but I settle my beast and listen, fighting against my need to press her back against the chaise and drink my fill.

“I walked home, and Pearl didn’t follow. A few hours later, we were frantically searching for her.”

“Did she run away?”

Ruby shakes her head and reaches up to touch the gemstone at her neck. “She was taken… by a man who wanted to keep her… to hurt her. They found her in a dark basement.” She swallows, fingers tightening around the necklace. “It was too late.”

I growl, wild anger pushing my fangs to seek prey, retribution for the hurt painted on Ruby’s beautiful face. She’s drawn back into that grief that will never go away, a grief I understand. “Tell me his name.” I snap the words like throwing knives.

Ruby gives me a small smile with a quiet, amused laugh I can’t understand, considering the topic of conversation and everything that’s happened in the last several hours. “He’s already dead, but I appreciate the sentiment.” She pauses a moment as if reorienting her thoughts.

I want to touch her, but I don’t. I don’t trust myself, even if she seems to trust me.

“I’ve never told anyone this.” Her eyes jump to mine, her words reinforcing that trust. “Except for him.” Her gaze flicks to the unconscious man on the floor. “He used it against me, as a way to manipulate and torture me.”

I growl and lunge for the beast, ready to finish the job, but Ruby grabs my arm. Her touch ignites a spark under my skin that spreads like a wildfire but stays me.

She seems to vacillate between telling me more or holding back, but when I settle back into the seat next to her, she says, “David would lock me up in the basement, in the dark. Like my sister. Because he knew how much it scared me.”

A small shudder trembles through her body and into mine. I want to wrap my arm around her, offer some small comfort, but when she meets my eyes, I’m frozen by what I see.

“The man who took my sister was a monster.” She looks down at David’s prone form. “So was he.” Then she looks at me once more, her hand on my arm. “I have a feeling your father is a monster. But you aren’t, Noah.”

I swallow, my throat dry with emotions that render me speechless, but while that part of me recedes, the need in me surges. “I am,” I reassure her. “And you’ll know it soon enough.”

“I see what you are, Noah Roan.” Her hand rises up to my cheek. Soft for a moment, then certain. I can’t help leaning into the touch. “You aren’t a monster.” As if repeating it will make it true.

Her eyes drop to my lips, her thumb gently touching the tip of my fang. I moan, pleasure rippling through me at her delicate touch. Clasping her wrist, I hold her hand in place, sucking her thumb into my mouth, trailing my fang along her skin without breaking it. She swallows nervously but doesn’t pull away. She should. But she doesn’t.

“Ruby,” I whisper, kissing the tip of her thumb, then the center of her palm. Slowly, I turn her hand and bring her wrist to my lips. I can feel her pulse against my fingers, hear it in my ears. Fast and rhythmic. A drum calling me forward. Her scent changes, intensifying. Arousal. Her breath hitches. My nostrils flare. I’m certain my eyes are dark. It’s taking every trace of self-control I have to hold myself back, to keep from sinking my teeth into her beautiful veins.

She nods, almost imperceptibly. I open my mouth, preparing to taste her.

“What did you do?” My father’s hard voice slashes the moment. He’s got his hand on the open curtain and his eyes on the body on the floor. Jafeth smiles from behind him, while Shemaiah stands placid and relaxed at his side. It’s not the first time there’s been a dead body at the manor. But there hasn’t been a death at a new moon party in years.

Hammish’s gaze shifts to Ruby. A cold chill rushes up my spine, but I don’t move.

“What did she see?” He addresses me rather than Ruby.

My mind spins with what I can possibly say that will protect her. If I tell him she knows what we are, he’ll take action I don’t want him to take. He’ll never let her walk out of here. She’s too aware, and he has nothing to hold over her, unlike the rest of the guests. If I speak too quickly, too eagerly, he’ll know he can use her against me. I need an explanation that’s believable but still protects her.

“This man attacked me.” Ruby speaks before I can. Her voice is even and controlled. “Noah came just in time. They fought. He pulled a knife on Noah, but Noah got the upper hand, as you can see.”

“This is… unprecedented,” Hammish says, his lips a thin slash. “Our guest list is vetted.”

I can’t move, afraid to give him any leverage, any reason to use her.

“He’s my ex-husband,” she says.

My father gives me a hard stare. “You’re jealous.” A statement, not a question. There’s something in the curl of his lips, a distaste or anger, that tells me he doesn’t like the idea of me being jealous for Ruby’s attention.

“No,” Ruby says, the word rushing out like a hand trying to calm whatever anger is rising in my father. “No. He was just protecting me from him.”

I hold my breath, already knowing my father isn’t going to buy the story. He can see how much I want her just by looking in my eyes.

“Where’s the knife?” The words slow and deliberate. He’s trying to get Ruby to betray what she knows.

Her gaze darts around the small space. A better actress than I imagined. “It must have been kicked under the curtain. Someone should go find it.” She stands. “I wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt.”

Clever girl. If he believes her to be naive, he might let her go look for the knife. It would get her out of here.

“Jafeth,” Hammish says, “find the knife .” He puts a little too much emphasis on the word, watching Ruby the whole time to see if she’ll flinch. My father knows as well as I do that the wound wasn’t made by a knife, but we need him to believe Ruby’s confused enough to disbelieve what she saw.

“I can look for it,” Ruby volunteers.

Hating the idea of being separated from her, I stand on impulse and put my hand on the small of Ruby’s back.

I’m over taken by a sharp pain like talons digging into my gut and ripping flesh from bone. My father’s power. I break contact with Ruby and struggle to breathe through the agony spreading through my torso. The pain vanishes as quickly as it came, nothing more than a warning, but my muscles are locked in place, unable to move.

“Jafeth.” Hammish nods at my brother, who returns to the party under the pretense of looking for a knife we all know he’ll never find. Then my father takes a few steps closer to Ruby. “You must be quite shaken by all of this, Miss Rose. A delicate flower like yourself shouldn’t witness such horrors.” He takes her hand, a false gesture of empathy, and I almost lunge at him, but Shemaiah grabs my arm. Another quick stab of pain comes from my father, along with a smug smile in my direction. “I hope you’ll forgive my son for his violence. Noah can be… temperamental.”

I hate the derision in his tone almost as much as I hate the way Ruby tenses beside me. All my attention goes to her. Her quick breaths. The note of fear in her scent. Her voice shakes a little when she speaks. “Noah took necessary action. He was protecting me.”

“That may be so, but–”–Hammish waves a hand in the direction of the unconscious man on the floor–“excessive. Don’t you think?”

Ruby glances at her ex-husband.

My father tucks her hand into his elbow. “Allow me to escort you back to the party, my dear. We’ll get you a drink.” He flashes white teeth at me. “It’ll help you relax.”

The thought of letting Ruby out of my sight for even a moment makes my pulse spike, but letting her go with my father is unbearable. The hunger for her rises, crests on my tongue and dives down to my cock. I need her. Before I can think better of it, a growl leaves my chest. “I’m going with her.”

Pain surges again. I fight the agony, focusing on the desire I have for Ruby, and it cools. But only slightly. “I only meant she might–”

Quiet , a silent command screams in my mind. I grit my teeth. You’ll do well to remember the last time you challenged me, Noah .

As my father increases his power, helplessness eats away at my insides and sweat breaks out across my brow. He learned a long time ago that punishing someone I care about is more effective than punishing me directly. The last time I outright challenged him, Zarah suffered. I can’t let that happen to Ruby.

Hating myself, I drop my head in submission.

Ruby takes in the silent exchange with wide eyes, clearly not understanding what’s happening. Carefully, she says, “Thank you for the offer, Mr. Roan, but I think I would prefer retiring to my rooms. This isn’t the kind of party I’m used to.” She lets out a nervous giggle. It’s out of character, an intentional choice to play to my father’s view of her as weak, to convince him to let her go to bed.

“That’s what makes it all the more delightful, Miss Rose.” He smirks at me, though the words are said to Ruby. Bastard. “I would be honored to show you what kind of pleasures can be found at a party like this.”

The growl in my chest can’t pass my magically sealed lips, which just makes his smile widen. Rage turns me feral. If I wasn’t under my father’s control, if Shemaiah wasn’t gripping my arm hard enough to bruise… Fuck! The animal inside of me roars against its cage. I have no idea if my father is just doing this to toy with me or if he actually wants her, but it doesn’t matter. He’s touching Ruby—my Ruby—and I want to tear him apart for it.

“Father.” Shemaiah speaks for the first time, his manner as infuriatingly relaxed as always. “Perhaps Miss Rose needs some peace and quiet after having a weapon drawn on her.” He pauses just long enough for me to see his brain working as he examines our father. “Most women grow weak at the sight of blood.” He tilts his head toward David, who is starting to revive.

Shemaiah has always done a better job defusing Hammish.

“I do feel a bit light headed,” Ruby says.

“I’ll escort you to bed.” Hammish’s smile is that of a wolf near a lamb.

I grind my teeth. Ruby takes a quick breath. “I can find my way. You should get back to the party. You’re the host. I’m sure your guests are wondering where you are.”

My father’s attention briefly flicks to the curtain hiding us from the festivities. The noise has increased since he entered our alcove. The music has a more percussive beat. The moans and grunts, bolder. This is the time of night when the party truly escalates.

Ruby glances at me before returning her attention to Hammish, batting her eyes like a coy school girl, which I know she isn’t. “Perhaps we can have a private tea together tomorrow. To discuss my grant, of course.”

I hate my helplessness, but I have to admit I’m impressed by Ruby. I’ve never seen anyone play Hammish so well before. He doesn’t realize she’s doing it, and it makes me swell with a strange sort of pride that I do.

There’s a tense silence before Hammish acquiesces. “I’ll look forward to it.” He brings her knuckles to his lips. “Until tomorrow, Miss Rose.”

Ruby curtsies, then leaves with hurried steps. I can’t take my eyes off the slip of her red dress as she weaves through the crowd and disappears from my sight.

Hammish turns and looks at me.

“How did her ex get an invitation?”

“I’ll check with Mr. Gray.” Shemaiah’s eyes slide to me. “Perhaps he missed something in his vetting.”

“Do that,” Hammish says, then turns and leans closer to me. “If you ever slight me like that in public again, Noah, I will end you. I don’t give a fuck that we’re small in number. Better yet, I will hurt her and tell her it’s your fault.” Despite the pain coursing through my muscles, I turn cold. Ruby isn’t the only one he could be referring to.

The pain wicks away like drying water in bright sunlight as Hammish spares a disgusted look for Ruby’s ex. “Kill him and get him out of here. No loose ends.” Turning away, he glides back into the crowd, calling to no one in particular, “More wine.”

As soon as he’s out of sight, Jafeth saunters over to us. “Wouldn’t be a new moon party without a bit of drama, huh?” He laughs, and I clench my fists to keep from punching him.

I don’t have time for Jafeth’s humor. I need to get to Ruby. I should feel reassured since I know where my father and brothers are—they’re the real threat to Ruby tonight, them and me—but I don’t feel comforted. I need her close. Need to see she’s alright.

Jafeth grabs my arm. “Where do you think you’re going? You’ve got a mess to clean up.”

I shake him off and keep moving, unable to resist Ruby’s pull, too worried about her. Before I leave the little alcove where we’ve been hidden, Shemaiah steps in front of me.

“She’s safe. Let her be.”

When I ignore him and keep going, he puts a hand to my chest. “She’ll be safer away from all of us.”

“Now you think so! What about when you locked us downstairs? When you kept her from leaving this damned place.”

Shemaiah just crosses his arms. “I did what needed to be done. I stand by it.”

Truthfully, I’m glad she wasn’t able to leave. I hate the thought of being without her. But I hate the thought of her in danger even more. Frustrated with myself, my impulses, the whole damn night, I slam my fist into the wall. The hole goes straight through to the next room.

“Let him go to his girl.” Jafeth laughs and shakes his head at me. “It’s your funeral if you can’t control yourself.”

“Or hers,” Shemaiah adds darkly.

I stare at the hole in the wall, trying to keep my feet planted, needing to move, needing Ruby.

My father’s voice carries from the other side of the curtain. “Now, some entertainment.”

I don’t need to look to know how the night will devolve from here. He’ll crank up the heat and the drugs to distract everyone while we get David out. He’ll also become more and more uncontrolled.

“Please,” I say, looking from one brother to the other.

“Go,” Shemaiah acquiesces, quiet and resolved.

Jafeth looks down at David with a hungry grin. “We’ll take care of the asshole.”

I should tell them to keep David alive. I know that’s what Ruby wants. But it’s not what I want. The temptation to let them do this my father’s way is so strong it feels like a vise pressing in on me.

I want to fight it for Ruby. But I’m not the man she thinks I am. The sooner she realizes that, the better.

David is a monster, but I’m a bigger, more powerful one. And I want him dead for what he did to my girl. “I don’t care what you do with him, but make sure he never comes near Ruby again.”