The Secrets of Roan Island

24. Noah

24

Noah

“ I t was never like this with David,” Ruby admits.

I grunt at her mention of her ex and tighten my grip on her.

We’re laying on the floor of the library, her wrapped up in my arms, her gorgeous body pressed against mine. She shivers. My fangs elongate again thinking about tasting her once more, of heating her up, but I hold back. She needs rest and recuperation. I almost took too much blood from her the first time. I won’t put her wellbeing at risk again by being too eager.

She trails a hand up and down my chest. “I just mean, this is something… different.”

She’s right. This is completely new to me too. It’s the nature of Mavarri to feed, and with as many new moon parties as I’ve attended, I’ve satiated that need with a lot of people. But nothing I’ve experienced has given me as much pleasure as being with Ruby. I was like an untried youth coming for the first time, for fuck’s sake.

“Have you been with many others?” I ask, though I don’t really want to know. Jealousy warms my gut and brings bile to my tongue. I want to hunt each and every person who has touched what’s mine.

She shakes her head. “Not men.”

“Women?” I’m surprised. Ruby doesn’t seem particularly prudish—quite the contrary—but I wouldn’t have expected her to be that adventurous either.

“One woman,” she answers. “After David, I couldn’t bring myself to be with a man. They didn’t hold any appeal. I thought maybe something was wrong with me, so I visited a pleasure house, wondering if it was perhaps something broken inside me.”

She goes quiet.

I don’t have any words to offer. Of course there’s nothing broken in her. It makes me want to go back to her ex and break him again. Drag out his pain. He got off too easy.

“Anyway, I function just fine.” She tilts her head to look at me again and smiles. “Obviously. But this. Wow.”

“Yes.” I keep my voice even, detached, holding back how truly rattled I am by what just happened between us. Detached is the last thing I feel when it comes to Ruby. She’s woven herself into my being, mixed herself into my blood. She’s a part of me in a way I don’t understand.

And that terrifies me.

Attachments are dangerous in my world. I keep everyone at a distance, even my brothers, though I’m closer with them than anyone else. I squeeze Ruby tighter, wishing I could bind her to me so I can always keep her safe.

She shifts to look at me and smiles. “Want to do that again?”

“Absolutely.” I tug her closer. “But first, I want you to rest. Rebuild your strength.”

She smiles, her arms tightening around me. A few minutes later, I hear her deep breaths slow as she drifts into sleep.

I lay there holding her, thinking, trying to puzzle out where we go from here.

When she arrived, I wanted her gone and did everything in my power to drive her away. I wonder if maybe I suspected it would be this way with her. I recall her climbing the gate, chasing me down the hall with her skirt hiked up, her gloveless hands. I think about her frown, the fire in her eyes when she’s angry, the panic in my chest when I thought about her falling from the parapet. I smile, considering each of my experiences with her. Now, having experienced this, there’s no way I can let her go. Just the thought of her leaving makes a low growl rumble deep in my core.

Ruby stirs, curling into me in a way that makes my hearts leap and soar. Now that I’ve tasted her, had her blood and her arousal on my tongue, my cock in her mouth, being without her is an impossibility. She’s mine.

I can’t let her leave.

I won’t let her leave.

I study her face as she sleeps, barely holding myself back from waking her so that I can make her come again, feed from her again. With gentle fingertips, I push a stray lock from her cheek. Her eyes flutter behind her eyelids. She looks so calm in sleep, beautifully relaxed. I marvel at how she can feel safe enough to sleep here with me, to completely let down her defenses. Even my own family members never fall asleep in the same room. As much as I care for my brothers, I never go to bed without locking my door.

The Roan family isn’t safe.

Which means Ruby isn’t safe here with us.

My heart rates rocket, pounding a message in my ears that makes me feel sick. Not safe. Not safe. Not safe.

Fuck! What am I going to do? I can’t let her leave—it would rip me apart—but if she stays, my father will make me turn her on Solstice, when the moons align and our venom changes. No matter the experiments I’ve run, I can’t figure out why the transition no longer works. I only know that it always results in death.

I can’t watch Ruby die like that. In pain. Helpless.

My eyes flit around the library, searching for something. Anything. An answer. My gaze lands on my laboratory. I carefully shift Ruby, setting her gently on the couch and covering her with a blanket. She mumbles something in her sleep. My name is the only word I catch, and hearing her speak it hardens my resolve. I kiss her forehead and vow to find a way to keep her alive through the transition—I will turn her, because the thought of living without her is entirely unbearable. But there’s no way I’m injecting her with Solstice venom until I’m certain it won’t kill her.

After one more kiss to her forehead, I go to my laboratory, feeling edgy and uncertain. There’s a little over a week before Solstice, which doesn’t give me much time, and I’ll need to keep her safe while I work out a solution.

The lab is in disarray from earlier, when I was struggling with the new moon hunger and Ruby was in the next room feeding it. Broken glass, upended beakers, and paraphernalia that needs to be returned to its proper place. I’m not sure where to start. I turn, looking for a broom when my eyes land on the metal door in the back. The one my father thinks is just storage for the hazardous chemicals I use in my experiments. It’s the only place in the mansion my father never goes, since he doesn’t want to be anywhere near dangerous things I could use against him. Even my brothers don’t have a key to that room.

I look toward the library where I know Ruby is asleep.

Then I turn back to the metal door.

The solution comes like a whisper, melting the tension from my shoulders. I know how I can protect her.