The Serial Killers Guide to Love (Deadly Darling #1)

Chapter 22

22

Lilly

Sam fucked me.

No, Sam and I, we had incredible, unhinged, wild killer sex next to my fresh kill.

Sam found me.

Sam.

Fuck.

I find myself all alone in the bathroom.

Maybe he will give me the chance to shower before he calls the police on me.

But will he?

I mean, kissing someone and painting her body with blood is not a normal reaction for a man that walks in on a woman who just killed another man.

My mind feels blurry.

And there it is, a knock at the door.

“Lilly?”

It’s Sam. His voice is so calm, I can’t believe it is the same man that fucked me recklessly just a few minutes ago.

“Lilly, please say something.”

His voice sounds lost, sad, fuck the way I feel now.

I wanted this man for so long, I stalked him all over and now that we finally had sex, I feel bad. Bad that maybe he could be scared of me, or that he will never be able to love me.

I am a monster. Normal people would have called the police and I didn’t even consider.

I cry, and the hiccup rakes through my chest. I don’t want to cry but I can’t stop myself.

The door opens and Sam walks in.

“Lilly, look at me.”

He is two meters away from me and I sit like a damn lady on the toilet, and wear no clothes. Great. This is the beginning of a very dignified conversation.

“Sam, I need a few minutes to shower and then you can call the Police."

I say as snot is running down my face and collects on top of my upper lip.

He kneels in front of me.

Still not touching me.

“I would never call the police on you. What do you think of me?”

His eyebrows rise as he looks at me as if I said the wildest, most inappropriate thing ever.

“But, but, I killed that guy.”

“You probably had your reasons. This is not important now. I can help you clean.”

He takes a break, his green eyes lock on mine.

“I can clean for you, I just wanted to ask if you are okay.”

“Clean for me?”

“Dispose of the body.”

“I don’t want to involve you more in my mess. I, I don’t understand. Shouldn’t you be freaked out, Sam, this is not normal.”

He shrugged.

“I am not normal. And a body isn’t freaking me out. Would me being freaked out make you feel better?”

I sniff, take a piece of toilet paper and clean my nose as good as I can.

“I tried to touch you, and you moved aside.”

“Oh that.”

Sam looks almost embarrassed.

“This has nothing to do with the kill. I can’t deal with being touched. But that’s a me problem. We can talk about that. If I would hug you now, would that make you feel better?”

The way he asks, it makes me smile.

“Yes.”

“Could you please promise me that you won’t put your arms around me. That is making me feel trapped and triggers a panic attack. Can you.. “

He looks at me and his hand cups my face.

My first impulse is to touch his hand.

“What are your limits?”

“I don’t know. We need to figure them out together, if you’ll still have me.”

“If I’ll have you? Sam, I just killed a person, the question is if you would want me.”

I see him looking at me.

“Lilly, I need to be honest and I will be now. I killed people too.”

“Wait, what?”

“I mean, I kill murderers, pedophiles and such. I always make sure that they deserve what is coming to them. This is what you need to know about me. And more.

I inhaled. The air stuck in my chest, and all I can do is laugh.

“You are so fucked up.”

I can’t stop myself as Sam looks at me lost.

“But I am fucked up too. Sam, I was freaking scared that if you would ever find out what I did, you would hate me. I, this is not my first, only I never cut a man’s head and I feel a little bit overwhelmed here.”

“I will hug you. Just keep your arms down.”

Sam smells so good. Like himself and sex and me and blood and I lean my head next to his neck, his arms wrap me and I feel his strong muscles holding me tight.

It’s awkward not using my hands, but I offered him to work through whatever issues he had.

My face is so close to his and his hands move slowly on my back.

“Tell me.”

He whispers and I feel the cry in my throat.

“I was married to a mafia boss. This guy here, is his right hand man. He found me. And he wanted money. I poisoned him, but I didn’t have enough of the stuff I need. I mean, this was a spontaneous murder, I never do that. I am a planner.”

Sam kissed my head and I feel loved.

“Lilly, this makes me feel better about all this.”

“What, that I have a psycho husband that wants me dead, or that I just killed a guy? Or that he’s not the first?”

We are still hugging. Sam hugs me and my hands are trapped under his arms.

He stops and looks at me. His hands clean my cheeks.

“Lilly, listen. I can clean up, this is the least of our concerns. I need to know only if you think that others will show up here soon.”

“No, no one. I mean, Roy worked alone, he wanted the money but wouldn’t tell Mike.”

“I will take his phone and dispose of it as I will do with the body. Trust me. I got you.”

Sam pressed a hard kiss on my lips, and I felt it all the way to my toes. How was I so fucking lucky?

I just killed a guy, and the man of my freaking dreams, the one that I wanted, feels closer to me because he’s a killer too. Wow.

Sam left me in the bathroom and I stepped into the shower allowing the hot water to wash everything away.

My mind was jumping from one thing to the next, but one thing was for sure, I have never been so happy in my life.

This man was everything, and he sure knew how to bring a smile on a girls face.