The Serial Killers Guide to Love (Deadly Darling #1)

Chapter 30

30

Lilly

Sam was wrapped into himself and I knew that my touch would only hurt him, if I would try to push for it.

He was shivering and I felt guilty.

Did I push too hard?

Both naked and covered in blood, we lay on his bed, and the morning sun touched our bodies.

“Sam?”

I tried to talk softly, like you would talk to a wounded animal that was hurt too much and that needed time to trust.

“Sam, it’s fine. We are in your cabin. I am here. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to. But if you need me to, tell me, or touch me. I am here to hold you as much as you need me to.”

Then I had the most childish idea.

I took the comforter and covered our head, and I cuddled next to him, close, still careful enough not to touch him

“This is better.”

Sam whispered.

“Hey, you.”

“Hey you.”

He replied, and I saw his smile.

“Tell me what you need. Talk to me.”

“I am breaking down old defense mechanisms, but they are so deep inside me, like razor blades that are stuck in caramel. I can’t bare to push harder. I am sorry.”

“No need to be sorry. Would you like some tea? Whiskey?”

“I don’t drink alcohol. It numbs the sense. I need more time.”

“Absolutely. Would you like me to let you be?"

“No, stay. I like to share my darkness with you.”

We fell asleep like that, and when I woke up again, Sam was gone, but a wonderful food scent called to me and I followed it.

Sam was dressed in a pair of brown shorts and a polo shirt, the same green as his eyes and manned the stove.

“Now if you are going to tell me that you can cook, I will faint at your feet forever!”

“I can cook some. Over the years I picked up things.”

“I bake. Cooking is not so mine. Baking is beautiful, it is science.”

“I see. You plan, my chaotic deadly darling.”

Sam smiled and I almost touched him, and stopped just two steps before my arms would have reached him.

“Lilly, I am so sorry. These reactions, I can’t always control them.”

“Is there something that helps?”

“Killing.”

He offered me a plate with what looked like a stew of meat and mushrooms on rice.

“This looks delicious, by the way. And let’s do it. Kill, I mean.”

Sam took a plate for himself and sat next to me.

“I like food. When I grew up, it was either not enough or it was of the horrible kind that I didn’t like to eat, but as soon as I was on my own, I taught myself how to cook and I love it. It’s simple when you plan it. How did you get into baking?”

I shrugged and took a big spoonful. The meat was tender, the rice was just right and the company was perfect.

“I grew up with my Granny. She did her best, but she had a small pension. She would always have ingredients, and she taught me how to bake. She said that if I can imagine it, I can bake it. For months I tried to bake a bee hive cake.”

“A bee hive cake?”

“Yes, I was 7. I loved the bee hive and I wanted to eat it. She let me try, and I ended up baking some bee hive cookies.”

“Lilly.”

“Yes.”

“I wish I could have met your Granny, she sounds like an awesome person.”

“She was. Killing her broke my heart, but she wouldn’t have wanted to live in a nursing home, trapped in her own body. She always valued her freedom. Her independence."

“And your grandfather?”

“I never met him. I don’t know what happened. Maybe she loved him, or maybe she killed him, or both, who knows.”

“So, when are we killing that dude?”

“We?”

“Yes, I want to join you. I told you.”

“Lilly. My life is not something that I want to impose on you.”

“Why, do you think that you can find a hotter poisoner with a blood fetish on Tinder?”

Sam shook his head. I understood what he tried to do. He wanted to keep me safe, but I didn’t want safe, I wanted this. As wild and as crazy as it was, it was what my heart craved?

His hand landed on mine.

“In for a drop of poison, in for the killing. I want to be your partner, not just a toy, arm candy.”

“I like this. I will use it more often.”

“So, if you run, I run, if you kill, I want to have your back.”

Sam’s hands cupped my face.

“I never hoped that I would meet such a cute demon like you. And even if I have to run, I would always come back to find you. Okay?”

“Promise?”

He took my hands and kissed the tips of my fingers.

“With my blood.”

“By the way, damn, Sam, this stew is the most damn delicious thing that I have ever tried. If you ever want to change your line of work, I mean it.”

“I know that you have questions, Lilly.”

“Nope.”

“About me, freezing, blocking you out.”

“You need time and I will give you time. And what we did was hot. How’s your hand?”

I grabbed his wrist before I could stop myself from it.

The wound was covered.

“I stitched it up, it’s fine.”

“You did?”

“Yes. It’s a useful skill. My first kills haven’t been as clean as the later and I had to learn to put the pieces together if that was needed.”

“Sam, you are full of surprises.”

“As you are, my deadly darling.”

Sam allowed me to caress his hand, and I wanted to stay like this for as long as he would feel comfortable enough with me holding him

“I love you, Lilly, I know this is not easy, but I do.”

“I don’t need more than that. And this stew, I mean, you are our designated cook. I can’t cook like this.”

Sam leaned into me and kissed me again, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood, making me swoon.