The Sinner

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

SIN

I’M STANDING IN my bedroom back at my parents’ house with two other Lords when Corbin’s phone rings.

He looks down at it and sighs. “It’s Gunner. He’s called me three times in the last hour. Ryat is losing his shit over Blakely…” It rings again, cutting him off. “Hey, man.” He walks over to my bathroom. “I don’t know anything. I didn’t attend the party…” He closes himself inside, giving the two of us privacy.

“You did good,” the other Lord states.

I snort. “We’ll see.”

My bedroom door opens so hard it bangs against the interior wall, leaving a massive hole from the knob hitting the drywall. “You sorry son of a bitch…” My sister’s words trail off when her eyes meet mine and then go to the guy standing next to me. She takes a step back as if one of us pushed her. “No.” Her wide eyes go back to mine. “Easton, please tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”

I run a hand through my hair. I knew this would happen, I just thought I’d have more time.

“Please,” she begs. “Tell me that my best friend is not an assignment.”

I look over at Chance and he crosses his arms over his chest, glaring at her. I know he isn’t going to say shit. We both have too much to lose.

“How could you do this to her?” she asks me.

I remain silent.

“You can’t just let her go?” My teeth clench. “Huh? Just let her be.” She runs over to me, slapping my face. “You piece of shit.” She slaps me again.

“Stop!” Chance orders, placing a hand on her chest, holding her back.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” Corbin barks, stepping out of my bathroom, hearing the commotion while pocketing his cell.

“Then handle your bitch,” Chance says.

She looks at her boyfriend, tears now in her eyes. “You knew? Everything you said to her … you were lying?” Her voice shakes, showing how hurt she is that he didn’t fill her in on our plan.

Like a mask sliding over Corbin’s face, it goes blank. We’ve been trained to shut down, to keep secrets from others no matter who they are.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks Corbin.

But it’s Chance who answers. “Because it’s none of your goddamn business.”

She looks at Corbin, expecting him to stick up for her, but still, he says nothing. She sucks in a deep breath, and I know she’s about to go off on me. “I just left Elli’s. She was in the shower scrubbing herself raw. She was going to use bleach,” she shouts, getting angry with me again. “Fucking bleach, Easton.” She slaps me again.

This time, Corbin comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her, pinning hers to her sides. Picking her up off the floor, she tries to kick me but she’s too far away now. “You fucking bastard,” she spits out. “She loves you.”

My chest tightens.

“She loves you and you’ve ruined her.”

“What do you think I’m doing?” I snap, unable to stay quiet. “Huh? I’m trying to keep her alive.”

He sets her down on her feet again. “By killing her?” she snaps. “God, Sin, just let her go.” She begins to cry. “Let her be with Chance.” Over my dead body. “Let her have a life without you. All you do is hurt her. Lie to her. Cheat on her.”

“I’ve never cheated on her,” I growl, not listening to that bullshit again.

“We saw you!” She’s screaming so loud it’s hurting my ears. I’ve never seen my sister this distraught before. Since I left Elli passed out in our bed, I’ve been worried about the state of mind I put her in. I’m doing what has to be done, doesn’t matter if I agree with it or not. I’ve got to prove myself. “Amelia showed us the video in the bathroom,” she goes on.

I look over at Chance and he shakes his head, not understanding either. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I argue.

“Quit fucking lying to me! I’m not going to believe your bullshit anymore. We saw you and Amelia in your room at the house of Lords. We watched her get undressed, crawl into your bed and then you tied her down …” She pauses to catch her breath.

“And what?” I demand, my heart picking up at what she’s describing.

“Elli knocked the phone out of Amelia’s hand, obviously done watching her boyfriend cheat on her.” She huffs. “But it was clear, Easton. You’re a lying, cheating piece of shit.” She rushes me again, but Corbin reaches out and grabs a hold of her hair, yanking her back.

“Babe, calm down,” he growls, holding her in place while she fights his hold.

“And you told her about James and Lincoln,” she goes on. “Why? To make yourself feel better? You’re no better than them. Taking advantage of her.”

My jaw clenches. “This conversation is over,” I growl, hearing enough.

Corbin picks her feet up off the floor and spins around, dragging her out of my room kicking and screaming. Normally, I’d be concerned where he’s taking her, but right now, I don’t care.

“How the fuck does she know all of that?” I ask myself.

“Amelia,” Chance answers.

“How the fuck did she know?” I narrow my eyes on him.

He raises his hands. “I haven’t told that bitch shit.”

“That only leaves one other person.”

_______________

IT’S BEEN TWO days since my sister barged into my room and I still have no clue what’s going on. I can’t ask Amelia because then she’ll know that I know. I’d rather keep her in the dark as much as possible. She’s obviously talking and the less she’s aware that I know, the better.

Entering my father’s home study, I see him sitting at his desk. “Got a second?” I ask.

“Have a seat.” He gestures to the chair across from his desk.

I fall into it. “If this is about your wedding—”

“It’s not,” I interrupt him.

He nods, sitting back and getting comfortable. “What do you need?”

“What do you know about Carnage?” I ask.

His body stiffens, eyes narrowing for a brief second before he masks it. But he avoids my question. “I know that you need to stay away from there.”

“Why? Because of the Spade brothers?” I go on and he sighs. They refused to give me any information the other day. But I’m not going to give up so easily. My future with Elli is on the line. And I’ll do anything to save it.

“They’re not blood related,” he states. “They’re called brothers because like you and me, they took an oath to one another. They share everything.”

“What’s their secret?” I wonder.

He arches a brow. “Secret?”

“Why them? They’re Lords, right?” I can’t figure out how they ended up there. Of course, Lords are like anything else in the world. Some are richer than others. Some are smarter, more ruthless. How did they get control of a fucking city? Carnage covers hundreds of thousands of acres in the middle of nowhere tucked back in the mountains. All surrounded by barbed wire fence taller than any man could get over. Only has one entrance and exit that I’ve seen so far.

My father’s jaw sharpens as he turns his head to look away for a second. I know more than he wants me to. Is it supposed to be a secret that they are one of us?

“How did they end up there?” I continue to dig at his silence.

“End up there?” He gives a rough laugh, eyes now back on mine. “Son, they are Carnage. They run that place like it’s hell itself. They may be Lords, but they don’t think like us. They don’t handle things like us. They can’t function out in the world like you and me. They’re trained differently. Their initiations were different. Everything about them is different.”

“You make them sound like machines.” I snort. “Everyone has a weakness.” Elli is mine. The fact that I’m digging around proves it, but I can’t let anyone know. The Lords will use it against me. They will take what you love and ruin it just because they can.

He tilts his head to the side, confused by my question.

“You saying they’ve never been in love?” Impossible.

He cracks a smile. “There’s always a woman. I can’t say love was involved, though.”

“One woman?” I verify, sitting up straighter. He had said they share everything .

He nods. “There are several stories that involve Carnage. One is she was killed. The other is she escaped.”

I frown. “So she was a prisoner there, or a patient?”

He shakes his head, getting irritated with all my questions. “Why do you care?” His eyes narrow on me.

I sit back, crossing my arms over my chest and shutting my mouth. I sound too desperate. “Just curious. Heard some rumors and wanted to know if they were true. I find it odd that they’re kept a secret.”

He goes to open his mouth, but his cell rings and he digs it out of his pocket. “It’s Malcom,” he announces, and I roll my eyes. My future father-in-law. “Give me a second.” Placing the phone to his ear, he smiles. “Hello, Malcom…” Opening up the door to the right, he steps out of his office, knowing I’m not fucking leaving, and he wants privacy.

I pull up my phone and click on the app to see Elli. She lies in bed sleeping. She’s been doing it a lot lately. She’s not eating enough. Between how much she’s been drinking and what I’ve done to her body, she’s exhausted.

Locking my cell, I pocket it and catch sight of the box that my father had shown me the other day. Full of pictures of Elli. I get up, walking over to it. Pulling the lid off, I pick one up.

She’s young. Underage for sure. She’s blindfolded, tied to a dingy mattress in a basement. It’s dark but the flash lights her up. She’s clothed in a yellow sundress. The thought of her in this kind of situation so young makes my pulse race. That I should have seen signs. That I should have paid more attention to her.

Scanning the photo, I see a mirror on the wall above her head. I squint, trying to focus on what I see. It’s a man, standing there staring down at her. It’s James. You can’t miss him. He’s dressed in a button-up and slacks. His arms crossed over his chest, eyes on her.

Who the fuck is taking the picture?

I hear the knob on the door open and I shove the picture into my pocket and put the lid back on. I’m falling into the seat when he steps back in, cell now in his hand. “We’re having drinks tomorrow night with Malcom.”

“ We are not,” I state.

He sighs. “Son…”

“I’ve got somewhere to be.” I stand, needing to get the fuck out of here.

“Easton?” he calls out, and I stop and turn to face him. “Whatever you want with Carnage, let it go. There’s a reason you didn’t know they existed. They are unbeatable. One of them is lethal, but all three of them … you don’t know suffering until they decide to drag you into their world. Nothing survives there.”

I flinch at his words, praying that he’s wrong. I look away from him, not wanting to reveal what Ryat told me. He didn’t have to come to me like he did. I’m thankful for that, but I won’t betray his trust or loyalty. So I say, “The girl—”

“She’s gone, Easton. If she escaped, her time on the run will run out. If she’s dead, she got lucky.”

She has to be alive. My future is in her hands. But if I go by what my father just told me about the Spade brothers, they could already have her chained to a blood-covered cot in a padded room. For all I know, they killed her years ago and then came up with the rumors to cover their tracks.

“I’ll drop it.” It’s not the first lie I’ve told my dad and it won’t be the last either.

He clears his throat, letting me know this conversation isn’t over just yet. Picking something up off his desk, he walks over to me. Holding out a white envelope, he says, “This arrived for you today.”

“What is it?” I ask, taking it from him. My blood runs cold when I read over the black writing.

Please join us for an engagement party…

It’s Chance and Elli’s party invite. I wad it up and let it fall to the floor where it belongs. Then, without another word, I turn and leave his office.

ELLINGTON

I STAND IN my room back at my parents’ house in front of the floor-length mirror tucked into the corner. My makeup and hair are done. I’ve just got to get dressed.

But I can’t seem to force myself to do it. This is it. My mother is throwing me and Chance a party. We’ll officially be announcing our engagement tonight in front of all of her and Linc’s friends. Just another sea of Lords and Ladies that they want to drown me in.

I hate that Sin is on my mind. Kira was able to get all the tallies removed from my skin. I’m pretty sure she took a layer off with it, but all reminders of that night have been erased as if it never happened. And I haven’t seen him since. It’s like when the masked man broke our only way of contact and left me crying.

I feel inadequate. Like he’s too busy with Amelia. She’s fulfilling all of his needs, so I’m long forgotten. Left to rot in the bottom of the tub like that useless cell phone.

I hear the click of the doorknob and I turn around to see my door open. I stiffen when Linc enters. “Get out of my room,” I say, trying to straighten my shoulders, but my voice cracks, giving away that after all these years just being around him affects me.

The smile on his face tells me he noticed it. Shutting the door, my heart begins to beat wildly in my chest when he locks it. “This will only take a few minutes.”

I rush over to the adjoining bathroom door, thinking I can get in there and lock him out, but he beats me. I whimper and take a step back when he steps into the doorframe, arms out wide, blocking it.

Reaching out, he grips my chin, forcing my head back. I take in a deep breath, glaring at him down my nose.

“Get on your knees and thank me,” he orders, getting straight to why he’s in my room.

My legs begin to shake. My breathing becoming labored. “Fuck you,” I spit in his face.

Letting go of my chin, he slaps me across the face so hard it knocks me to my hands and knees. Opening my watery eyes, I see it’s where I first willingly lay down for the masked man. I dig my nails into the carpet, refusing to cry at the sting lingering on my cheek. I’m so tired of looking so weak.

“You know, Elli…” he starts as his shoes walk away from me and over to my bed. “James took his time with you at first due to how young you were. Legal age of consent in the state of Pennsylvania is sixteen.” He makes it sound okay. That James was somehow a gentleman for waiting until the state says I was old enough to give consent to be fucked. “I’m honestly impressed he was able to wait that long. I would have fucked you the moment I took over this house.”

“I never asked him—”

His laughter fills the room, interrupting me and sending a chill up my spine. “You’re right. You never asked. You begged him long before then.”

My throat closes up because I can’t argue that.

He opens my top nightstand drawer before shutting it. He turns back to face me, and I try to get up on my shaking legs and run to my door, but he grabs my hair. I cry out as he yanks me back and bends me over the side of the bed, pinning my legs to it with him standing behind me.

I scream as he brings my arms behind my back and zip-ties my wrists. My stomach sinks and I can’t hold back the tears that fill my eyes.

“They can’t hear you down there, Elli. Everyone is in the west wing getting ready for your party.”

Yanking me off the bed, he shoves me to my knees. My head falls forward and sobs rack my body, so hard I can’t catch my breath.

“You will open that mouth and you will thank me for everything I’ve done for you.”

I raise my eyes, trying to catch my breath and slow my racing heart. Now is not the time to freak out. I glare up at him.

“See, Elli…” He unzips his black slacks. “Your mother wanted you to marry Sin.” My eyes widen at that. “She confided in me after your meltdown at our reception that she felt he would at least keep you busy. That she knew about your father and his father having some sort of agreement that after you graduated Barrington, you were to marry him.”

My father wanted me to marry Sin?

“But of course, your father is dead, so whatever agreement he and Mr. Sinnett had is void now. So I convinced her that you should marry Chance. He’s a better Lord for you. He’ll control you like a Lady should be. Sin would go soft on you. He loves you too much.”

He’s wrong. He has no clue what he’s talking about. Sin hates me. His actions have proven that.

“And David, you owe me for David. I sent him to you. Told him that you were such a good whore and needed to be fucked. You make Sin weak. He’d let you run all over him. But Chance? He doesn’t give a fuck about you.” Reaching down, he runs his knuckles over my cheek that he just slapped. “You may marry him, but you will serve whoever he tells you to.”

“You mean you?” I grind out. “That’s why you’re forcing me to marry your nephew, because you think he’ll let you fuck me.” If my father and mother really wanted me to marry Sin, I do know one thing—he may not be faithful, but he’d never let another man touch me. And that just wouldn’t work for Lincoln.

He chuckles lightly. “You’re so smart, Ellington. James used to tell me how dumb you were. Just a cunt to fuck. But I knew you were smarter than he gave you credit for.” Reaching inside his unzipped slacks, he pulls out his dick and I lean away. He tangles his hand in my hair roughly, making me cry out.

“Enough talk. It’s time for you to be a good fucking whore and thank me for all I’ve done for you.”

My teeth clamp shut, and I shake my head the best I can with his fist in my hair. This isn’t like last time in James’s office. I’m not fucked up on drugs. Or begging for it.

He sighs, disappointed, and all but rolls his eyes. “How about Sin?”

My heart stops and I look up at him through watery eyes.

“If you don’t open your mouth, I’m going to report him to the Lords.”

I freeze. What does he mean report him?

“See, Sin was given an assignment, off the books. Of course, he didn’t know that. It was more of an experiment on my end. I wanted to see just how far he’d go for his little demon. And poof, the guy ended up dead. Photos of you naked and being used—gone. All for you, Elli. Imagine my surprise when I realized just how much he cares for you, a used-up whore.”

Tears fall down my cheeks. David. Linc set Sin up by hooking me up with David. But why? What made him think Sin was even interested in me?

“So, this is the last time I’ll make this offer, Ellington. Open your mouth and thank me for not getting the man you love stripped of his title.”

I hate that I care what happens to Sin. He saved me. Although he then used me until he got bored. But that’s my fault, right? I believed his lies. I fell in love with someone he really wasn’t. I can’t let them strip him of his title. Not because of me. I’m tired of being the reason people get hurt. This is my future. Being passed around and used.

They’re all right. I’m the whore. I’m nothing. Sin has a future, and I’m not going to let him lose it because of me. I’m not like them. Licking my lips, I close my eyes and part my lips.

“That’s a good slut,” he praises, and my shoulders shake as his cock slides into my open mouth.

_______________

I KNEEL ON the floor, the blood rushing in my ears. I watch him zip his pants. He grips my face and I stare up at him in a daze. Everything is blurry. He says something then lets go of me. The zip tie is cut and my arms fall to my sides. I hear him exit, the door shutting.

My chest heaves and I scramble to my feet. Running into my adjoining bathroom, I fall in front of the toilet just in time to vomit.

“Oh my God, Elli.” I hear Kira now standing next to me.

I do it again. My stomach muscles tightening, thighs clenching and chest burning. I expel what Linc forced me to swallow. It’s like déjà vu.

I just wish I was as fucked up as last time. I’ve got some in my dresser that I can take once I know I’m done throwing up.

She grabs my hair, holding it since Linc fucked up my updo with his fist in it. Once I’m done, I flush the toilet and sit back on my legs.

“Have you eaten today?” she asks, going over to the sink. Turning on the faucet, she runs a washcloth underneath it to get it wet, then hands it to me.

“Y-es.” My voice rough, throat burning.

I abandon the washcloth on the floor and stand on shaking legs. I go over to the faucet, cup the water and wash my face while rinsing my mouth out.

“Elli,” she speaks softly. “I think you should take another pregnancy test.”

“Not this again,” I mumble under my breath.

“I’m serious. It could have been a false negative. Or maybe you’re not far enough along yet…”

“I’m not pregnant.”

“Did you and Sin use a condom?” she asks.

“Are you and Corbin using protection?” I glare at her.

“I’m not the one vomiting,” she snaps defensively.

“I’m fine, Kira,” I sigh. “I promise.”

I exit the bathroom, entering my bedroom once again, and she follows. “Are you trying to hide this pregnancy because Sin is marrying Amelia?”

I spin around to face her. “What?”

“Is this some sort of revenge?” She places her hands on her hips. “Because he won’t marry you?”

I’m so close to the fucking edge I’m about to jump. I don’t know how much more of this bullshit I can take. “Your brother doesn’t give a fuck about me, Kira. And I get it. I do. I was just a fuck. Take some notes. Your day is coming.” I give her my back.

“What does that mean?” She grabs my upper arm, spinning me around.

“It means Corbin is the same.”

“No—”

“They’re all fucking Lords, Kira,” I snap at her for being as stupid as I was. If I can save her this heartache, I will. “They took an oath. Women don’t mean shit to them.”

Her eyes drop to the floor. The same spot I was just kneeling and gagged for Linc. “My brother loves you.”

I throw my head back laughing. It’s manic sounding, my entire body shaking from it. “Well, I don’t love him.” The bile returns but I swallow it down. I never told him I loved him and now I’m glad. Imagine if he knew he had that much power over me.

“You have to tell him you’re pregnant,” she urges.

“I’m not fucking pregnant!” I scream “Jesus Christ, Kira. I’m not fucking pregnant. Let it go. Worry about yourself. Huh? Who the fuck knows if Corbin is being faithful to you.”

She slaps me across the face, and I don’t even feel it. I’m too numb at this point. Losing my goddamn mind over a game that I can’t win.

She storms out of my room, and I find myself walking over to my dresser. I open it up and pop two pills into my mouth. Then without thought, I enter my closet and numbly pull the dress that my mother got me to wear tonight for this party off the hanger, slipping it on over my head. If life has taught me anything, it’s that it doesn’t stop when you need rest. You swallow your cries and you lift your chin. Because life doesn’t give a fuck about you. You either take it, or you let it kill you.

Never trust a man unless you know what he’d do to survive.

I get it. Because for once, I understand what my father did, and it doesn’t sound so bad.