The Sinner

CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

ELLINGTON

WE PULL UP to what I heard my father call a cathedral. I’ve never been here before so I’m not sure why we are here now, but it’s exactly what I expected to be. Old and haunting with its rosette window in the center, two towers on either side. There’s an out-of-place cross that hangs upside down.

The hatch opens and I jump out, stepping to the side so they can get Sin out of the back. I follow them inside because I don’t know where they’re going.

I follow them down a set of stairs to what looks to be a basement where the doctor from our house waits for us. He helps them get Sin onto a hospital bed. It’s like a surgical center down here. Like one of those triage centers you see in a war zone movie.

“What did they do to him?” I finally manage to ask. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but now I need to know. I don’t understand. His letter made it sound like he wanted to leave me. Why would he willingly let them do this to him?

“Adrenaline.” Tyson is the one who answers.

“Wh-at?” my voice wavers.

“They gave him a shot of adrenaline. Straight to the heart. They do that so he wouldn’t pass out. It lasts about twenty minutes. They remove the Lords’ crest by cutting it off. And to keep him from bleeding out, they cauterize it with their own. Three sixes. One for each brother.”

My hands come up to cover my face. Fresh tears spill down my cheeks. “Why would they do this to him?”

Tyson’s eyes soften on mine. “They do it to everyone, Elli. It’s their initiation. It may vary from person to person, because not everyone who enters Carnage wears the Lords’ crest, but everyone gets branded.”

My eyes shoot to my dad who stands next to them, and I look at his chest. He had removed his shirt to use it for Sin. Sure enough, I see the three sixes on his chest. They’re healed but you can’t miss the hack job they did.

“Once the adrenaline wears off, they come down and crash pretty hard,” Gavin adds,

My eyes go to him, and I see he’s already started an IV and is administering something into it.

“What is that?”

“I’ve sedated him. I’ve got to clean the wound and do an autograft,” Gavin responds. Tyson hands him a pair of scissors and Gavin starts to cut down Sin’s thigh, shredding his bloody jeans to expose his leg to the room.

My eyes go to Tyson, needing more of an explanation.

“It’s a type of skin graft. He’s going to take a piece of skin from Sin’s thigh, brand it with the Lords’ crest and then reattach it over the brand the brothers gave him.”

“Use mine,” I all but shout, stepping forward, knowing that I can be of help.

They both frown at me. “Elli,” my father starts, but stops when my shaking hands go to my jeans. I undo them and shove the material down my legs. Gripping my inner thigh, I turn my leg the best I can to show them my brand. “Take it.”

All three look at one another and then back at me. “This is what you need, right? Use it.”

Gavin frowns. “Where did you get that?”

Before I can answer, Tyson speaks, “He branded her with his ring.”

“Goddammit.” My father sighs.

“But you can use it, right? Don’t cut him.” I’m trembling. I don’t want to see him suffer anymore. What skin will replace the piece that Gavin removes? It sounds like a vicious cycle that doesn’t have a good ending. They can take it from me, and he’ll be whole. A quicker recovery.

Tyson walks over to me, yanks up my jeans, and catches my shaking hands in his.

“This is important, Elli.” He speaks slowly, calmly. How can he be this calm right now? “The Lords can’t find out that Sin was ever at Carnage.”

“What if they do?” I ask wide-eyed. My eyes go to Sin, and it breaks my heart to see him lying there. I’ve never seen him look so vulnerable. I want to protect him. Any way that I can. He’s covered in blood. Some is dried to his skin; other parts are still fresh. There aren’t any visible bruises or cuts other than the three sixes and the cuts around his wrists that are still wrapped in pieces of my father’s shirt.

“They won’t,” Tyson assures me, getting my attention, but I don’t believe him. How will they not know? They know everything.

“Although you have the Lords’ crest, it’s too small. The one we wear is much larger in size. I’m sorry but we can’t use it. We’re going to have to make a new one.”

Gavin gets my attention again as he tilts Sin’s head back and begins to feed a tube down his throat. “Why are you doing that?” I go to walk over to the side of the bed, but Tyson grabs my shoulders, stopping me, and pushes me into my dad. He wraps his hands around my upper arms, keeping me in place as Tyson walks back over to stand next to Sin and Gavin.

“I’m intubating him, so his body doesn’t have to work so hard to breathe while he’s sedated.” His eyes meet mine for a quick second. “He deserves the break.”

SIN

I OPEN MY eyes to a softly lit room. The first thing I realize is I’m lying on my back because I’m staring up at a ceiling. The second thing I realize is that I can’t feel much. Why do I feel numb? The tips of my fingers tingle and so do my toes. Swallowing, I flinch at the soreness in my throat. A groan escapes my lips when I try to roll over onto my side.

“Hold on.” A hand touches my shoulder and I reach out to shove it away. “Easton, relax. It’s me.”

I blink, looking up at a face hovering over mine. “Ty-son?”

“You’re fine. But I need you to stay on your back.” He removes his hand from my shoulder, and I relax into the bed.

“What—why are you here?” I ask, my voice rough. Why the fuck would he be at Carnage?

“Here, drink this.” He places a straw in front of my mouth and I take a sip, not caring that I need him to hold it for me.

Pulling away, I nod, and he places it next to me.

“Nicholas, Elli, and I went to Carnage—”

“What?” I snap, making myself flinch. Using my heavy arms, I push myself into a sitting position as Tyson curses under his breath. My heart is racing and I’m breathing heavily once I’m sitting upright. My feet dangling over the side of what I realize is a hospital bed. “Why the fuck would you bring her here?” I demand. “She has to go.” I go to push myself to stand but he places his hands on my shoulders, keeping me sitting on the edge. I grind my teeth that I’m not strong enough to fight him.

“Sin—”

“What were you thinking?” I ask through gritted teeth. “Where is she? I want to see her.”

“You’re not at Carnage. We’re at the cathedral,” he says slowly, as if I’m hard of hearing. When he understands that I can’t beat him, he takes a step back, shoving his hands into the pockets of his bloody jeans. I don’t even bother asking whose it is. It doesn’t look to be his. Nodding behind me, I turn to look over my shoulder and see her cuddled up on a hospital bed. A blanket pulled up to her neck, sound asleep. I let out a deep breath.

“She passed out about thirty minutes ago. She fought it for as long as she could,” Tyson goes on.

I look over at him. “What in the fuck happened? How did we get here?”

“She got your letter. Cried. A lot. Thought she was going to pass out after she read it. Your phone got a text, it was to Nicholas from the Spade brothers telling him he was free. He got pissed. We rounded up her mother and your dad and went to Carnage. We made a trade, you for them. We brought you to the cathedral. Gavin was already here waiting for us.”

I sigh, lifting my hand to run down my face but I see a bandage wrapped around my wrist. Looking to the other, I see the same thing. “How bad was it?” I ask. I remember them removing my brand and giving me their own. It was hell. But other than that, my head is foggy. Even now, the soft lights are hurting my sensitive eyes. My body is sluggish and although I don’t feel much pain, I do feel light-headed.

“It wasn’t good,” he answers. Stepping back, he rests his back against the counter and crosses his arms over his chest. “Pretty sure she thought you were dead. Then she offered up her brand when Gavin explained you needed a skin graft.”

My hand runs up my bare stomach and to my chest, I flinch when I feel the bandage over where my original Lords brand was. “Please tell me he didn’t—”

“No.” He shakes his head. “He took it from your thigh.”

“Thank God.” I sigh, closing my eyes. They’re growing heavy.

“What you did was stupid, Sin,” he growls. Leave it to Tyson to tell you you’re an idiot. “We found you unconscious. Who knows how long they would have left you bleeding out and hanging in that room. You could be dead right now.”

Cracking my eyes open, I stare at him, and he arches a brow, expecting me to say something. Instead, I look over at Elli cuddled up in the other bed and a smile tugs at my lips. “We all do stupid shit for love, Tyson.” Then I close my eyes again and let whatever drugs Gavin has me on swallow me up into the darkness.

_______________

WHEN I OPEN my eyes again, I sit up and the room starts to spin, making me dizzy. “Take it easy.” A hand gently touches my shoulder and I look over to see Tyson.

Fuck, I thought I had dreamed that conversation with him earlier. Looking around, I find what I’m looking for. Elli—my little demon—lying on the hospital bed next to mine. Where she was earlier. I throw off the blanket and get to my feet as Tyson sighs. I ignore the way my body protests at the smallest movement. I’ve always enjoyed pain. It means you’re not dead. And believe me, you’d be surprised what your body can endure.

Walking over to her bed, I reach out and run my dried-up bloody knuckles down the side of her cool cheek. “Is she okay?” I ask, my fingers going to her neck to check her pulse.

“She’s fine.” I look over to see her father sitting in a chair, arms crossed over his chest and one ankle on his other knee, glaring at me. “Can’t say the same about you.” He looks me up and down, lingering on the bandage covering my chest.

I look down to see my jeans have been removed but I’ve still got my boxer briefs on and there’s another bandage on my thigh. “Don’t start,” I mumble, turning back to her and lifting the blanket to cover her shoulders, tucking it underneath her neck.

“Don’t start?” he repeats, getting to his feet. “Do you—”

“I was trying to give her what she deserved,” I growl, interrupting him. I’m not in the mood for this shit right now. I may be alive, but I feel like I’ve been through hell.

“A dead husband?” he snaps, stepping over toward me.

“A father,” I growl.

Jesus, why is it so hard for them to see what I was doing? That I did it because I love her. That I think she deserved a better life than what she’s had since he died . A part of me was trying to make up for what she’s been through in the past. I love my little demon just the way she is, but I hate what she went through. How many times had there been signs that I chose to ignore or just didn’t catch on to?

“That’s not your job.” He punches himself in the chest. “I had a chance to make it right and you ruined it.”

“Oh, I ruined it?” I scoff. “What were you going to do? Go back to Carnage? Act like you did die all those years ago? That you didn’t come back into her life only to leave her again?”

“Exactly,” he snaps, and she stirs. He lowers his voice and runs his hands through his hair. “I’ve spent nine years at Carnage.” His blue eyes drop to her, and his face softens. “I don’t know how to live here.”

“I get that, but don’t you want to try?” I ask. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy for either one of them but she’s worth trying for.

“I can’t be who I was.” He shakes his head. “I’m not a Lord, I’m not a husband. Hell, I handed her mother over to them. I have nothing to offer her.”

“Offer her?” My brow furrows, confused by his words. “All she ever wanted was you. Her dad. All you have to do is show up.” I point to him. “You think she gives a shit about the Lords?” I shake my head. “And her mother was a fucking worthless cunt who betrayed her.” My voice grows louder. “You get a second chance at life, Nick. It may not be the life you had before, but it’s something that you can share with her.”

The door opens and I look over to see Gavin enter. He comes to a stop when his eyes land on me. “You shouldn’t be up walking around.”

“I’m fine,” I say through gritted teeth.

“I’ll be the judge of that.”