The Sky We Seek (Love and Other Dreams #2)

Chapter 16

Noah

I place the carrots on the cutting board and grab a vegetable knife from the knife block. My eyelids feel so heavy that they almost close as I look down to begin the task.

This isn't working.

Despite feeling cold all day long, I walk to the window. I open it and inhale the crisp mountain air into my lungs. Yet it doesn't energize me. On the contrary, I find myself yawning, unable to fight off the weariness.

Leaving the window ajar, I drag myself back to the kitchen counter and take a sip of that disgustingly artificial energy drink that was supposed to keep me awake. Then I refocus my gaze on the carrots. The water for the soup will soon come to a boil, but I slice the thin rounds slowly. I mustn't hurt myself again, especially since today is my follow-up appointment. If Elina discovers any fresh wounds on my hands, she'll surely confront me.

With all the concentration I can muster, I position the knife against the carrot. I ensure that the fingers of my left hand are out of harm's way. Only then do I press the blade downward.

And again.

My muscles are tired. My mind grows dull. Leaning my forehead against the upper cabinet of the kitchen counter, I try to continue, but my eyelids droop shut. A dark heaviness takes hold of me.

The sound of rain reaches my ears. At first, it's just a few drops, but their intensity quickly grows. The pattering of the water mixes with the rumble of thunder.

"Noah!"

Someone is calling for me.

I want to see who it is, but my eyes remain closed. Raindrops trickle down my cheeks, and my wet shirt clings to my body. The tiny hairs on my forearms stand on end.

"Help me, Noah!"

Where are you? I want to scream, but not a single sound escapes my lips. The ground beneath me sways. No, I’m the one swaying.

There. A flash of lightning!

I snap my eyes open. Hot steam clouds my vision. What had sounded like a whipping rain moments ago has transformed into a fervent bubbling.

The soup water.

How can it be boiling already? I had just turned on the stove burner.

Confusion fills me as I look around. The carrots are only halfway sliced, and the kohlrabi remains untouched. Nothing has changed except for one thing. The knife I had held in my hand a moment ago now lies beside me on the floor.

How did it get there?

Did I drop it without noticing?

Groaning, I bend down to pick it up. In that instant, it dawns on me what must have happened .

Microsleep.

It has come to this. Even with all my strength, I can't stay awake.

"Dammit." My fist slams onto the countertop. "Dammit, dammit, dammit," I roar from the depths of my being, screaming my despair into the solitude of the secluded clearing where my house stands. But it doesn't help me at all. On the contrary, it only drains the little energy I have left.

I need to sleep. Urgently.

With my eyelids half closed, I turn off the stove, stumble toward the sofa beside the open fireplace and collapse forward into the cushions, like a plank of wood plunging into a mountain lake. The impact is jarring, but afterward, I slowly sink into the depths of the water's profound darkness.