The Sky We Seek (Love and Other Dreams #2)

Chapter 24

Noah

I still can't believe I'm doing this. I hold Elina in front of me, inhale the scent of her hair, and feel the warmth of her body. We gaze into the infinite expanse of the Tyrolean mountains. She is with me, and she is happy. It feels good even though it's not right.

Reluctantly, I take a step back. "Time to head back home."

With sparkling eyes, she turns to me. "Let's do it." She radiates energy while a familiar fatigue takes hold of me even though it's not yet noon.

Something happened the night before last when Elina observed my sleep. I have no idea how she managed it, but the following morning, I felt rejuvenated like I hadn't in a long time. But since then, it's gone downhill again a little more each day.

"You look tired." She frowns, scrutinizing me.

I don't want to lie to her; she doesn't deserve that. "It's not as bad as it has been," I say with a shrug.

She places her hand on my chest. "In a few days, I'll have your results. Then we'll know more."

Her confidence comforts me. "I trust you; you're a great doctor," I say, eliciting a bright smile to spread across her face.

"I am." She nods satisfactorily, turning to walk away .

I follow her to the summit station of the summer toboggan run, help her position the sled on the tracks, and take a seat in the back of the two-seater. "Hop on."

Her cheeks turn rosy; she wipes her hands on her jeans. Then she takes a seat. "Let's go," she whispers excitedly.

I give us a push, and the sled starts moving. At first, it's slow, but soon, we reach the section where the tracks slope downhill.

"Whoa!" Elina exclaims as we gain speed.

Quickly, I wrap my arm around her and slow down. I want her to feel safe and enjoy the ride. We approach a curve, and gravity pushes us outward.

Suddenly, she raises her arms. "Yesssss!" she screams so loudly that her cry echoes back to us. "Faster!"

Grinning, I release the brake, and we zoom down the mountain. Accompanied by Elina's shouts of joy and the wind in our faces, even I feel something I haven't felt in a long time.

Freedom.

It's as if I can let go of everything that usually weighs heavily on my shoulders. I join in Elina's laughter. Our sled gains speed, and the desire for this ride to never end becomes more urgent. But soon, we are approaching the bottom station. With a heavy heart, I brake our vehicle.

Before we even come to a complete stop, Elina turns to me, gasping for breath. Her cheeks are flushed, just like her eyes. "One more time."

She doesn't have to ask me twice. "Absolutely," I say, feeling so liberated that I can hardly recognize myself .

Whatever this woman does to me feels incredibly good, and I'm already addicted to it.

***

After our thrilling ride on the summer toboggan run, we arrive at Hanna and Florian's house in the late afternoon, hand in hand.

"I can make us some pasta," Elina suggests. "I don't have anything else, unfortunately."

She wants to cook? I vividly remember her attempts to help me with the soup. "Pasta is always a good choice. Let me handle it."

Shaking her head, she raises her index finger. "No way. You are my guest today."

She looks so adorable that I can't help but want to kiss her again.

Oh well, why not? I pull her closer to me and place my lips on hers.

As we part, I gently caress her upper arms. "Then I won't touch anything, of course." Except for you , I add in my mind, chuckling at myself. With her, what seemed unthinkable just a few weeks ago now feels so natural. With her, I can forget, even if it's just for a moment. "But next time, I'll cook."

"Oh yes, definitely," she replies with a grin, taking my hand and pulling me toward her hut. Once we arrive, she directs me straight to the couch. "Make yourself comfortable," she instructs, then prances the few steps back to the kitchenette.

I pick up the laptop, which is open on the red-and-white-checkered cushion, and place it on the coffee table. Then I sink onto the sofa. A contented sigh escapes my lips, and my eyelids immediately grow heavy. Some sleep would do me good, but now is not the right time for it.

"Arrabiata or vegetable?" Out of nowhere, Elina stands before me. In each hand, she holds a glass of pre-made sauce.

My adorable city mouse can't even prepare tomato sauce from scratch. Behind her facade is so much more, but when it comes to cooking skills, she fits the stereotype.

I can't help but grin.

Instantly, she raises an eyebrow. "Vegetable it is. Good choice." With those words, she twirls around before I can tease her about her lack of culinary expertise. "You could start looking for a hotel in Munich." She points at the laptop. "That will take your mind off things." Her tone leaves no doubt. She knows exactly what's going on in my head.

Honestly, I dread Munich. Just because I saw how much she would enjoy such a trip in her eyes, I agreed. And for her sake, I now bring the laptop closer and press the power button. I should manage two days in the city air if we spend a lot of time in parks. But my lungs won't handle much longer than that.

The screen lights up. Apparently, no password is needed, so I open the browser. "We could stay outside the city," I cautiously suggest.

"Are you crazy? If we're already there, we want to party as well. For that, we definitely need a downtown hotel."

Just the thought makes me short of breath. "Alright," I say and type Munich, hotel , and downtown into the search bar .

A series of accommodations is displayed, and I click through them, discussing the details with Elina. Our choice falls on a small, romantic hotel tucked away in a hidden side street. Elina's cheeks are practically glowing, and it’s not just because she constantly leans over the steaming pot with the cooking pasta.

"Would you send the inquiry right away?" she asks while arranging some tomatoes for a salad.

I immediately get to work, selecting the dates and sending the inquiry. As Elina clumsily slices cucumbers, making me fear for her delicate fingers, a notification pops up at the bottom of the laptop screen.

That was quick. I open the email right away, only to realize it's not from the hotel.

It's an invitation for a job interview. In Vienna.

"Do you like iceberg lettuce?" Elina's voice suddenly sounds distant, just like the simmering of the boiling water.

"Mm-hmm." Absentmindedly, I nod. I know this message wasn't meant for my eyes, but I can't help it. I stare at the text. Slowly, I begin to grasp the meaning of the words.

Elina wants to leave.

Of course, she does. She has mentioned more than once how much she longs for city life. I can't help but swallow. This afternoon, when we stood tightly embraced on the observation platform, she seemed happy. She called the mountains beautiful. I could see how much she enjoys nature, and Hanna told me that Elina has already made friends with some villagers despite initial difficulties.

She doesn't lack anything here. Nothing, except for a position for her neurology residency, which she obviously applied for. That's her dream. The job she has worked toward her whole life.

Suddenly, my chest feels tight. Heat rises within me, and a dull thumping dominates my head. It prevents me from forming a coherent thought. There are only questions within me, all without answers.

Would Elina actually leave? Am I ultimately nothing more than a pleasant pastime for her? Someone who fills her boring weekends with life so she feels a little less alone?

I strain to massage my temples, but the pressure in my head seems to increase further. Not for the first time, I become aware of the truth that connects us both. I don't deserve this woman nor the happiness she brings out in me. I should never have given in to my feelings for her. It was clear from the beginning that it would end like this.

"Do you have a response yet?" Elina suddenly stands before me, holding the cooking spoon in her hand. Her top is splattered with salad oil, and her hair falls wildly across her face.

Quickly, I mark the email of doom as unread. Then I attempt a smile, but it doesn't quite succeed. "No," I reply, not knowing if I will ever have a single answer to my countless questions.