The Sorrow of Shadows (Crimson & Shadows #1)

Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

brEYLA

I wake the next morning feeling simultaneously rested and frustrated. Last night was the most sound I’ve slept in months. Maybe I should have found someone to fuck before now. I groan at the thought of having to face Aurelius at breakfast. I somehow know he will find a way to subtly remind me of what happened last night. Mortification rolls through me at not only what I allowed him to do to me with his Gift, but also how my body responded to his touch.

A shiver runs down my back as I recall his words from last night, “ Eyes on me, Princess. I want to see you when I make you come.” I should be disgusted, but all I feel is aroused. My mind wars with the Aurelius I know from the past and the one who brought me utter bliss last night.

"Why do you let her get under your skin, Aurelius?” my father asked. This was a conversation I wasn’t meant to hear, but now I needed to know what they were discussing. I assumed this had something to do with our latest encounter.

I had no one to help me learn my newly manifested control— or lack thereof—over shadows. I was the only one on record to have this Gift in several hundred years. As there was no one to compare with, it was difficult to know the extent of my power. I was rare and powerful in the eyes of society, but all I felt was alone. My parents were no help, since neither of their Gifts were anything close to mine, leaving me with only Cillian to teach me control.

His Gift wasn’t one of shadows, but it was similar and equally rare, belonging to the Madilim power family. Together we learned to master our Gifts to the best of our abilities. This week he had shown me how to create a blindfold with my shadows and use it on others. Aurelius was my favorite—albeit unwilling—test subject. He had walked into a wall so hard he broke his nose on impact when I cast the shadow blindfold.

I thought it quite funny, but I was the only one. This conversation was bound to happen, but I doubted they expected me to be listening around the corner.

“I can’t help it,” Aurelius grunted. “She does it so perfectly I wonder when she has time for anything else.”

“Yes, well.” My father sighed before continuing. “She does rather excel at that.” The way he said the last part almost sounded like pride, or perhaps amusement.

“And that does not concern you?” Aurelius asked, his voice rising in volume.

“Not particularly. I have always loved my daughter exactly as she is. She is half me, after all.” My heart swelled at my father’s words. He had never pushed me to be anything different than what I was. To better myself, yes, but he never tried to change what made me fundamentally me. He embraced my sharp edges and taught me to wield them as weapons.

“And I would not change her, brother. I simply wish to coexist with her peacefully; something she seems intent on never happening.” I could understand Aurelius’ desire, and a part of me longed for the same thing. But just as much as I got under his skin, he got under mine. There was a push and pull between us that never relented. Anytime I was near him, I felt the overwhelming desire to be close to him, and I hated that. Aurelius gave as good as he got, though. Something many people seemed to overlook.

“What is the problem between you? Why isn’t peace an option?” Father asked, attempting to understand the tension between us.

“She is the problem,” Aurelius replied quietly. My chest tightened at his words. I shouldn’t have cared what he thought of me. His words shouldn’t have had any effect on me. But they did. I never wanted to be anyone’s problem. The fact that he saw me as one hurt more than I wanted to admit. Not wanting to hear anymore, I turned and retreated down the hallway.

I shake myself from the memory and focus on the day ahead. I pull myself out of bed and into my bathing chamber. I quickly bathe and braid my hair in a crown around my head, the tail draping over my left shoulder. I have no plans to train today, so I forgo leathers and opt for lightweight trousers that hug my hips, but flow loosely down my legs. I pull on a deep forest-green tunic that brings out the gold and red hues of my hair. Tucking the tunic into my pants, I pull a strapless bodice around my torso and lace it up the front. Since I go nowhere unarmed, I grab a sheathed, slim dagger and slide it down the front of my bodice. It nestles snuggly between my breasts, undetectable.

When I reach the breakfast table my mother and Aurelius are already there. I sit beside my mother and across from Aurelius, careful to keep my gaze off the male. I reach for the teacup before me, letting the hot liquid warm my hands through the ceramic. Warm spices waft up from the brew; rich notes of cinnamon, turmeric, and ginger wash over my tongue as I take the first sip.

“Good morning, Breyla. You look rested. Did you sleep well?” my mother asks as she takes a bite of the eggs in front of her.

“I did, thank you. How are you this morning?” I can make polite small talk. This is easy. A servant places a plate before Aurelius, causing him to wrinkle his nose in displeasure.

My mother takes notice of his expression. “Is something wrong with your breakfast?”

“Nothing is wrong, eggs just don’t sit well with me.” He smiles at her.

“We’ll send it back and have them prepare something else.” She smiles back, and I suppress an eye roll.

“Staff,” Mother calls politely. “Please take Lord Aurelius's plate to the kitchen and prepare something else for him. Thank you.”

Aurelius’s plate is cleared away, and he folds his hands in front of him. I catch his eye momentarily and am surprised to see his face remains neutral. Based on our previous interactions, I would have expected Aurelius to be smug or find some way to taunt me for our clandestine meeting yesterday. Instead, I find only indifference.

“What was it you were asking, dear?” My mother’s attention is back on me.

“Nothing important, Mother. Have you set a date for your wedding?” I’m trying to keep the attention off me, so I choose a topic I can fake interest in.

Aurelius coughs suddenly, choking on his tea. He clears his throat. “Not yet. We are in no rush.” Did my question make him uncomfortable? Perhaps he isn’t as indifferent as he pretends to be.

“I was only nineteen when I was engaged and married to your father. The wedding happened so quickly; I have no intention of rushing anything this time. The council seems content with my betrothal to Aurelius for now, as am I.” Her answer surprises me a bit. With how quickly she announced her engagement to Aurelius, I figured they would also move for a quick wedding. “Speaking of, you know I would never force you into marriage, but you are twenty-seven, my dear. Are there any males that have caught your eye?”

This time it was my turn to choke on my drink. “I, uh—” I’m saved from having to answer by a shriek from the kitchens.

The screams continue as we all jump to our feet. Aurelius steps in front of my mother, his sword drawn. I draw the thin dagger from my bodice and make my way to the kitchens. When I arrive, the scene is horrific. The servant that cleared Aurelius's breakfast is laying on the floor, eyes wide. Foam coats her mouth and blood leaks out of her eyes, ears, and nose. It’s clear the screaming came from the other servant on the floor next to her.

Wisps of blonde hair hang in a chaotic mess around her thin, heart-shaped face. Brown eyes fill with tears as she pulls in shallow, quick breaths. She’s hysterical, crying and mumbling about the girl on the floor.

I crouch down to look her in the eyes and ask, “Can you tell me what happened? I'm sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“Melody. M-my name is Melody,” she stammers. “I’m not sure exactly. One moment we’re chatting, and the next Sera is on the floor, jerking uncontrollably, and b-bleeding. Oh gods...she’s d-dead.” She trembles violently.

I turn to Aurelius. “Can you help calm her down like you did me?” I may be questioned about that statement later, but I don’t care right now. I need Melody to calm down enough to piece together what happened. He leans down and places a hand on Melody’s shoulder.

“You’re okay. I’m going to use my Gift to slow your heart rate to help calm you. Is that alright?” I can’t help the respect I feel for how he explains himself first and asks for her permission. She nods slightly, and I can see the effects of his magic almost immediately. Her breathing slows, and the trembling stops.

She looks at us and whispers, “Thank you. ”

“Of course, Melody. Now can you tell me anything else about what happened? Did Sera eat or drink anything before this happened?” Aurelius asks, his tone soothing.

“She brought in your plate, Lord Aurelius, and ate the eggs. The chef usually lets us eat what’s sent back, since it would just go to waste otherwise. I think that’s it. I don’t remember anything else.” Tears are still running down her face.

“Okay, Melody. Thank you for your help. You are dismissed for the day. I’ll make sure you’re still compensated, but please go rest. You’ve been a great help.” I smile at her, hoping she understands my sincerity.

“As you wish, My Lady. Thank you,” she says quietly then pulls herself off the floor. She exits the kitchen, leaving me alone with a castle guard, Aurelius, and my mother.

“That poison was meant for you. Care to tell me what enemies you’ve made that wish you dead?” I deadpan.

“I’ll let you know as soon as I figure that out,” Aurelius says, his brow furrowing.

My instincts kick in, and I take charge of the situation, giving commands. “Alert Commander Nolan. No one enters or leaves the castle. I want all the kitchen staff questioned. Someone must have seen something. If the culprit is still in the castle, we will find them.” The guard bows and leaves to follow my orders. I lean down and close Sera’s eyes.

" At least she went quickly, ” I say to myself. "Which is a load of shit, because that fact won’t make it hurt any less for her loved ones. It’s just one of those things we’re conditioned to think because no one is taught how to handle death.”

Aurelius looks like he wants to say something but remains quiet. I still don’t trust him, but I also don’t think he’d go as far as poisoning himself. But it begs the question— why did someone want him dead? Sure, he made me want to strangle him any time he opened his mouth, but we have a special relationship. He was the royal emissary; his position was one intended to promote peace. An attack on him by a foreign kingdom would be considered an act of war. If it came from someone within our kingdom...it just didn’t make sense.

Mother had remained silent through this entire ordeal. I look back to her to find her eyes wide and mouth hanging ajar. She looks shocked, which makes sense, but she was normally much better at not showing her true feelings. She was always stoic when it came to things like this. The ability to mask one’s feelings was a skill that most royals were trained in, but one I failed at miserably. The situation must unsettle her.

“Are you okay, Mother?”

She snaps out of her daze and turns her eyes to me. “I-I’m okay. It’s just a bit upsetting to have someone try to murder Aurelius so soon after Raynor’s...death. I don’t know what to think.” I walk over and wrap my arms around her. She stands a couple inches above me, her warm vanilla scent cocooning me. I would be her support if she needed it.

“We’ll figure this out. I promise,” I reassure her, leaning back to look into her sky-blue eyes, now red and swollen. “I’m posting extra guards outside your and Aurelius's rooms.” I hope that brings her comfort.

“I hardly think that’s—” Aurelius begins.

“I’ll decide what is necessary and what’s not, Lord Aurelius,” I snap at him. The look on his face suggests he doesn’t appreciate my tone, but he isn’t going to fight me on this.