The Sorrow of Shadows (Crimson & Shadows #1)

Chapter 41

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

brEYLA

I wait until nightfall to track down the mercenaries I suspect are behind the Howard family’s deaths. Tomorrow is when my mother plans to announce her engagement to Lord Seamus, and I am running out of time. My auburn curls are braided tightly and tucked under a black hood, and I’m dressed in all black to help me blend in. My knives are strapped to their normal places, plus a few extras. One can never be too careful around mercenaries and assassins.

Shadows wrap around my body, helping me to blend in even more as I make my way through town. I duck and weave, moving as quickly as possible without being noticed. Finally, I come to an unassuming building on the outskirts of town. The citizens recognize it as a brothel, but it is so much more than that.

I slip in the front, careful to keep my hood pulled low. It’s not the first time I’ve been here, but I don’t need to be recognized right now. Sitting on a stool at the bar, I lean over to the madame as she greets me.

“Good evening, miss. What are you drinking tonight?” she asks. She doesn’t mean liquor; she’s asking about my sexual preferences.

“I’ll take a gin with lavender,” I respond as quietly as possible.

Her brown eyes widen slightly in recognition of the phrase only used by those seeking other services. She leans over the bar to speak low. “And will that be with honey?” Another code.

“Honey and cinnamon, please,” I respond, letting her know I need to speak with the mercenary king.

“I’ll have that out in just a minute, miss.” She nods and steps back from the bar top, leaving through a door in the back.

A few minutes later, a young female with olive skin and black hair and a silver-haired male with onyx eyes step up on either side of me. The female’s lips are painted red and she wears a sheer matching colored gown. Her hair hangs low enough to cover her nipples, but nothing else is left to the imagination. I can see every beautiful curve of her lithe body. The male is topless, wearing only silk sleep pants low on his hips. He’s fair-skinned and has well-defined muscles that most males work years for.

They press into each side of me, their body warmth cocooning me.

“You ordered a gin with lavender?” asks the female directly in my ear.

I nod ever so slightly and lean into her embrace. The male presses in closer, burying his face in my neck, then whispers, “With honey and cinnamon?”

Again, I nod in confirmation, wrapping an arm around each of their backs. The male places a tender kiss on my neck, and I fight the urge to stiffen in his hold. It would seem suspicious behavior, but I know the fury he’d face if Aurelius finds out. It doesn’t matter that this is all part of the process for gaining entry to see the mercenary king. With my luck, Aurelius will smell another male’s scent on me and go feral .

“Come with us,” the female says. Her voice is low and sultry. To anyone else, this would look like exactly what people come to brothels for. But these two aren’t your typical courtesans. They’re part of a specially trained group that works for both the mercenary king and the brothel's madame. They function primarily as spies and bodyguards for the other courtesans that reside here.

I stand, letting them lead me out of the main room to the hallway. We travel to the back, up a flight of stairs and down another hallway. The male opens a door at the end and ushers us inside, locking it behind him. Immediately, I’m pushed against the wall and the female’s lips are on mine. They’re soft and full as she explores my mouth.

I don’t kiss her back, but let her hands roam my body as the male joins her. He pulls down my hood and kisses down my throat, his hands also exploring my body. This little inspection used to thrill me, but now I feel nothing. Now that I’ve had Aurelius, I’m afraid no one else will compare.

Right as the male finds my first dagger, a throat clears.

“Claudia, Jaret, that’s enough. The General can keep her daggers. We both know she’s quite capable of killing me even without them.” The mercenary prince’s sweet lilt rolls through the room.

The male and female—Jaret and Claudia, apparently—immediately cease their search and back away from me.

“You are dismissed.” The command is clear. Jaret and Claudia nod their heads in understanding and back out of the room, the door locking again behind them.

“Hello, sweetheart,” he says, his melodic voice rolling over my skin. I keep my place against the wall, letting him approach me. He prowls closer, like a feline stalking its prey. But I am no prey.

“Hello, Cillian,” I reply as he finally reaches me. The male leans over me, his forearm on the wall above my head, leaving his face mere inches from mine. This close, I can see the deep teal of his eyes and the freckles that line his cheeks. Copper ringlets hang loose around his face, and most of his hair is pulled back into a knot on the top of his head.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, little General?” he asks, his tone somehow both playful and condescending. Cillian had once been a member of the Rimorian army before my time as General. We had grown close as we trained together and eventually found ourselves frequenting the other’s bed. That was until I discovered he was the son of the most notorious mercenary in our kingdom.

He had been planted in the army as a spy, but growing attached to me was never part of the plan. I wouldn’t call what we had love, but more of a heated companionship. Part of me had always wondered if it could have been more if we were different people or had met under different circumstances. Until Aurelius strolled back into my life, that is. It was becoming harder and harder to deny the feelings stirring in my chest every time I looked at the broody male that had claimed me as his.

Once I had learned Cillian’s true identity, I had made the decision to spare his life. Elijah had insisted it was because I had cared for him, but I knew it was really because Cillian had cared for me. I knew he would one day take his father’s spot as the self-proclaimed mercenary king. If he didn’t, someone else would, and I figured the devil you know is better than the one you don’t. Cillian owed me his life; a fact I rarely let him forget.

His father was long dead now, and Cillian ruled as King of the Midnight Brotherhood. They were assassins and swords for hire but somehow had their own twisted morals. I had maintained contact with him through the years, occasionally still winding up in his bed when the loneliness was too much for one of us to bear. I suspected he still harbored feelings for me, but we both knew where that would lead. Which is why we never spoke about it. My heart was not his .

“I’m not here for pleasure, Cillian. I need details on a slaughter the brotherhood was behind,” I finally say.

He tilts his head in question at me, eyes running over my face and assessing me.

“You know that’s not how this works, sweetheart,” he tuts. One of his fingers traces my jaw, tilting my face up to look at him. Cillian is tall—taller than even Aurelius—and dwarfs me in every way. While it may look like a sensual position, this is very clearly a power play to me. Though I hold power over him through his life-debt, he has information I need, and he’s going to make me work for it.

Doing my best to brush him off, I say, “There was a family of five that we found slaughtered in their beds. Surname was Howard, lived in the eastern part of the capital—small house with a red door. Ring any bells?”

“If you brought no coin, no secrets to barter, and you don’t want to cash in that life-debt you’ve been holding over my head...I could arrange a more pleasurable exchange for the both of us.” I don’t miss the insinuation or him ignoring my question all together.

My shadows slither along the floor, trailing up his toned legs until they reach his hips. His eyes sparkle in excitement, and I know I have him distracted enough. With the help of my shadows, I flip our positions, slamming him into the wall. I have a dagger pressed against his throat, and a wicked smile creeps across his face. If this were anyone else, they’d be afraid. But there was a reason they called him king of the mercenaries. I glance down at the dagger he has pressed against my throat. But much like him, I’m not afraid.

He winks at me and says, “If you’re trying to turn me off, you’ll need a different tactic.”

“I told you, I’m not here for pleasure, Cillian. This is official business, and it’s important. I’ll pay you if I find the information worth it. ”

“Yet, that’s never stopped you from taking pleasure from me before,” he hums.

“My pleasure isn’t yours to have anymore,” I say evenly. It’s not meant to be cruel, but I need to get the point across.

I catch the way his lips fall just slightly at the corners of his mouth. “Is it possible the little general has found her match?” His words are laced with just the smallest bit of bitterness.

“I have found the one that makes my shadows sing and my heart beat faster.” It’s the first time I’ve confessed something of this magnitude out loud.

“You used to sing for me, sweetheart. I had hoped that one day you would again.” His voice is soft as reality hits him that it never will.

“Don’t go there, Cillian,” I beg him. I had put the thought of us together to bed years ago. It was time now that he did the same.

“You deserve all the happiness, Breyla. I’m glad someone was able to get through that thick wall you keep built around your heart. Too bad it wasn’t me. Whoever he is, he’s one lucky male.” He drops the dagger from my throat and sheathes it at his side.

“Thank you,” I say and smile softly at him. “You deserve the same. I know one day you’ll find her.” I lower the dagger from his throat, stashing it back in my thigh holster.

“Yes, well, you should know the fee for information has just gone up. Now what would you like to know?” He chuckles at the glare I shoot his way.

“Bastard,” I mumble before taking a step back from him.

“Most definitely,” he says with a smirk.

“The Howard family,” I start, trying to get back on track. “What do you know about that hit?”

“I know a member of your court showed up at my establishment offering to pay double the normal fee. He didn’t say why, but it’s not my place to ask those questions. ”

“They had three children, Cillian. Did you not think to ask about that?” I fight to keep my tone even as the emotions tighten my throat.

“I was aware of the children, yes. I did not care to?—”

“What happened to not harming children, Cillian? They were all slaughtered in their beds. Every one of them. When did you start taking contracts on the young?” I demand, tears pooling in my eyes. My shadows flare, blanketing the room in darkness in response to my emotions.

Light slowly creeps out of his palms, causing my shadows to recede. Cillian is the only other light wielder I know since Nameah had died. But his power is far greater than hers had been. He could create light, much like I could create shadows. If she had lived, I would have asked him to train her.

A mix of fury and grief wash over me as I stare into his eyes, waiting for him to answer me.

“I didn’t take the hit, Breyla.” He reaches a hand up to my cheek and strokes it softly. “Nothing has changed. I’m still a dark, twisted, ruthless killer. But I would never harm children.”

My shoulders sag in relief. I would have run my sword through his heart if he had said anything else. “Then who did?” I ask, straightening my shoulders.

“There are a handful of mercenaries that don’t agree with all my views and have defected. My guess is it was one of them. They’re somehow operating under the Midnight Brotherhood name. It’s created quite the headache for me.”

“Why is this the first I am hearing of them?” I ask, frustrated that he didn’t tell me this sooner.

“I’m dealing with it, Breyla.” I get the feeling there’s more he’s not saying.

“Just know that when I find them, I will not hesitate. Their lives are forfeit.”

Cillian grins wickedly. “I would expect nothing less, little General. ”

“One last question, and this is important. Which member of my court ordered the hit?” I’m not leaving without this answer.

“Lord Seamus Delencourt.”

I can’t say I’m surprised; just relieved to have someone able to confirm his guilt finally.

“Thank you, Your Highness ,” I say, mocking his self-appointed title, and he rolls his eyes. “Your information has been most helpful.” I take out the coin purse full of gold and drop it in his waiting hand.

He drops it in his pocket and says, “Pleasure doing business with you, sweetheart. Try not to get yourself killed before I see you next.”

“No promises,” I say with a wink as I pull my hood back over my head.

As I reach for the door handle, Cillian calls out, “Oh, and Breyla?”

“Yes?”

“I meant what I said about you deserving to be happy. I’m sorry it wasn’t me, but if he ever fucks it up, I’m only a raven away.”

I let out a chuckle. “Sure, Cillian. I know I can always count on you as plan B.” I slip out of the brothel and back to the castle.

The palace is still quiet by the time I make it to my chambers. My hand is on the door to my room when I hear the low, deep voice of Ayden.

“Evening, love.” The door clicks shut behind us as I turn to face him.

“Evening, Prince.” I keep my voice low, trying not to wake Aurelius or catch the attention of anyone else that might be wandering the halls. I take in Ayden’s appearance and determine that he was probably not asleep. His well-defined chest is on display, and it’s a damn shame I’m the only one here to see it. The male looks like he was sculpted by the gods. His hair isn’t mussed from sleep, and his eyes are bright. He’s alert and smirking at me. He’s been awake this whole time.

“What troubles you at this late hour?” he asks as his eyes roam over me.

I keep my voice even as I reply, “Nothing troubles me. I was visiting an old friend.”

Ayden takes a step closer, his eyes still assessing me. His lips quirk up on one side, and he runs his fingers down my neck. My hand shoots up on instinct, gripping his wrist tightly. I’m tired of being touched by so many people that aren’t Aurelius tonight. I want to wash the feel of everyone else’s touches off my skin.

“Your friend has a lovely shade of lipstick, love.” The bastard smirks at me again, bringing his fingers in front of my face. The red color of Claudia’s lips stains the tips. “What was her name?”

Fuck. I had forgotten about that.

“I don’t owe you any explanations, Ayden.”

“Perhaps not,” he says as a wicked smile takes over his face. He leans down and whispers in my ear, “But I would love to know what Aurelius thinks about your friend.”

“Our relationship is none of your concern,” I grit out.

“We’ll see about that,” he says, stepping back. “Try to remember the silencing shield tonight. It’s late, and I need my beauty sleep.”

Before I have the chance to respond he’s back in his room, door shut and locked behind him. I roll my shoulders, trying to ease the tension building between them.

I’m muttering something about stupid insufferable males as I finally enter my own room, locking the door behind me. All I want is to bathe and sleep through what little I have left of the night .

“It’s late, Princess.”

My heart beats faster as I lay eyes on Aurelius stretched out across my bed. He’s wearing loose sleep pants, but nothing else. The toned lines of his muscles catch my eyes, and I find myself staring.

“I’m aware,” I finally manage to say. “I was just about to bathe.”

He looks me up and down, his gaze assessing, but I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

I turn toward the bathing chambers and make it all of two steps before I feel him behind me. My hood is down, and his head is buried in the crook of my neck. His arm wraps tightly around me, and I feel his chest move as a low growl rumbles through him.

“Where were you and why do you smell like shit, Princess?”

I flip in his arms so I’m facing him now. “I had to pay a visit to the Midnight Brotherhood. We needed information about the Howard family, and I knew I could get it there.”

“That answers the where, but not why you smell like so many others. ” The way he says others is laced with threat. He doesn’t like their scents on me or how they got there.

“There is a certain protocol for speaking with a mercenary king,” I explain, keeping my temper and tone even. “One that not even I’m able to bypass. I did what I had to do, Aurelius.”

“There’s lipstick on your neck, Breyla,” Aurelius snarls. “Why didn’t you take me?”

“Cillian never would have spoken to me with you there. We have a history, and he owes me, so he agrees to see me. But you? He never would have let me through the door with you there.” I explain it the best I can, trying my best to remain calm, but it’s becoming increasingly more difficult.

His nostrils flare as he processes my words. “What kind of history? ”

My patience finally snaps as I blurt out, “Enough of this. Control yourself!” I shove against him, trying to create space.

He’s having none of it, though, and pulls me back into his chest. “I’m not jealous, Princess. Jealousy would imply that you aren’t already mine, and we both know I hold every piece of you. Your pleasure, your sharp words, your moans, your insults, your laughter, your tears and sorrow, your anger, and even one day—your love—are mine.”

An excited thrill runs through me at his words, and I can’t help the heat growing low in my belly as I realize how true those words are. I never wanted any piece of this male—if anything I wanted him gone from my life—but something changed, and I’m so tired of fighting it. I don’t understand it, but the heart doesn’t obey the laws of logic.

“My history with Cillian is the ancient kind. I made that very clear to him tonight. When he asked me if I had finally found my match, do you want to know what I said?” My heart beats erratically in my chest at what I’m about to admit to him.

“I’d very much like to know, Princess.” Aurelius's eyes search mine as I take a deep breath.

“I told him that I had found the one that makes my shadows sing and my heart beat faster.” The admission comes out barely above a whisper. I’m not proclaiming love, but this is the closest I’ve ever come. “Never have I felt like this for anyone, Aurelius. I don’t understand it, I sure as hell didn’t ask for it, but here we are.”

His jaw drops as his eyes widen, the moon making the crimson flecks sparkle in its light. “Those are awfully poetic words coming from you, my little demon.”

“That’s all you have to say?” I ask dumbfounded.

“You’re not yet ready to hear what I have to say.” His response leaves me stunned. I just admitted that I care for him—that this isn’t just something physical between us—and I’m somehow not ready to hear his response ?

“Excuse me?” I ask, trying to understand.

He moves us toward the bed, never breaking eye contact with me. When the backs of my knees finally hit the mattress, he tilts my chin up and kisses me softly. I melt into his kiss, relishing the feel of his lips on mine in a touch that’s so at odds with our normal heated embraces.

He finally breaks the kiss, and his hands wander up my body, landing on the string that keeps my cloak tied. He tugs it free, letting the cloak drop.

“It took me weeks to get you to feel anything, Princess. You’ve been suppressing your emotions for so long, they were literally exploding out of you in uncontrolled waves of power.” His fingers work to unstrap all the daggers hidden on me next, dropping them one by one to the floor. “I’ve known from the first time you barged into my room and I had my first taste of you—that one taste would never be enough. If I had you every day from now until the end of our days, it wouldn’t be enough, Breyla.” My heart flutters at what he’s implying by the words he’s not saying. Next, he unlaces my leathers, pulling them down my shoulders. The tunic underneath comes off next, leaving me exposed to him. My nipples harden as he stares intensely at me. His words are doing something to me I wouldn’t have expected. “I’ve known the depth of my feelings for you for longer than I want to admit. This thing between us may have started as just a physical connection, but it’s so much more than that for me. The difference between us is that I’ve had no trouble admitting that, and you’re just now coming to that realization.” Lastly, he tugs my leather pants down my legs, letting me step out of them before shoving me roughly to the bed. He drops his sleep pants and steps between my legs. His cock is hard, and the tip glistens with precum as I lick my lips. He lines himself up at my entrance but doesn’t move. “So no, Princess. You aren’t ready to hear what I actually want to say to you right now. You’ll get there, though. Because if there’s one thing I’m certain of in this world—it’s that I am never letting you go.”

I moan as he thrusts straight inside me in one fluid motion. My back arches as I adjust to him and the sudden intrusion. It burns slightly, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t also love the pain. He gives me very little time to adjust before he pulls out and thrusts back in again. “Tonight, I’m going to show you everything I want to say to you,” he says with another thrust that has me clenching the sheets beneath me. His hand winds around my throat as he thrusts again and again at a pace that has my toes curling. “I’m going to fuck you until I’m the only thing you feel. I’m going to cover you so thoroughly in my scent that I can’t smell the others on you. Then I’m going to bathe you and do it all over again.” His promise has my inner walls clenching around him. “Fuck, Princess. Do that again,” he demands as he thrusts harder into me, leaving me gasping for breath.

Completely lost to pleasure, I do as I’m commanded. I clench down on him hard as his thrusts grow faster and harder. A scream erupts from me as I barrel over the edge into my release. I fight to catch my breath, but Aurelius doesn’t slow his thrusts or let me come down from the high of my orgasm. He just keeps fucking me until I’m a shaking, trembling mess. I dig my nails into the skin of his shoulders, and he moans. Blood trickles down from the crescent moons left behind in his skin.

“Yes, little demon, I will gladly bleed for you.” His thrusts grow erratic as the crimson drops onto my chest.

“Good,” I say breathlessly. “Now fucking come for me.”

He chuckles, the sound deep and sensual, as he says, “All in good time.” Before I can let out the snarl building in my throat, he’s pulling my leg up to my chest and fucking me at an angle that has me screaming again. “That’s a good little demon. I love the sound of your screams when my cock is buried so deeply in you. Now come for me again.”

It takes all but a few more strokes at this new angle to have me doing exactly as I’m told and coming so hard I see stars. A few thrusts later and he follows me over the edge into ecstasy. My name is all he moans as he spills himself inside of me. After a few minutes of heavy breathing, we both finally come down from our high.

“Bath time,” he whispers as he leaves a gentle kiss on my cheek.

“Yes, please,” I say sleepily as he lifts me from the bed, cradling me in his arms, and carries me to the bathtub. A few minutes later, after the tub is filled, he lowers me into the warm water, then follows behind me. He washes every part of me, then does exactly as he promised earlier and fucks me again. This time it’s soft and full of reverence, his body telling me everything he refuses to say out loud. For the first time in my life, I feel cherished.