The Sound of Secrets (The Monsters Duet #2)

Chapter 1

Win

My fingers cramped as I tightened them around the crystal glass half-full of Macallan in my hand. There was a constant ache in each joint and an uncomfortable pain that came from using freshly healed skin. I wasn’t supposed to be drinking considering I’d just been through another surgery and was still on heavy-duty medication. However, Channing Harvey could always drive a man to drink. It was too soon to hop on my private jet to take Winnie around the world in search of her wayward aunt, as well. But I couldn’t let Channing do something I knew she would later regret. She would never forgive herself for not waiting for Winnie to scatter Willow’s ashes. If she’d been thinking clearly and wasn’t running on pure fear and adrenaline from her brush with death, she would never have put her niece into such a heart-rending situation.

I felt obligated to save Channing from herself, because she saved me from my mother.

If I didn’t keep my hands and mouth busy, though, there was no telling what I might say or do to her for running off on me. While I understood she didn’t owe me anything beyond the contract we signed, it still stung my pride and slowly awakened my heart when I realized she’d abandoned me. I’d never been more frustrated than when I was lying in a hospital bed for months, unable to take matters concerning Channing and the rest of my family in hand.

The state I was left in after the blast at my childhood home gave me an entirely new perspective and appreciation for all that Archie had survived. The burns on my hands and chest were nothing compared to the damage my mother inflicted upon him in the first fire she set. I was angry and inconvenienced as medical professionals patched me up. But Archie was devastated when he finally grasped the severity of his injuries. My little brother would spend the rest of his life disfigured, and I would be partially handicapped, all because we refused to let our mother pick the women to whom we gave our hearts. No Halliday was allowed the luxury of falling in love without Colette’s approval.

My fingers spasmed on the glass, so I set it down with a thunk . I shook my hand when some of the expensive liquid splashed out. I couldn’t feel the amber liquid on my damaged skin, but I could see it drip onto the leather seat and the cuff of my shirt. Large swatches of burned skin on my hands and arms were numb. The specialist who worked on the reconstruction told me there was a slight chance the delicate nerves would regain some sensation, but it was too soon to know.

I stared at Winnie and Channing, a bit embarrassed I’d made a mess of myself, but neither paid attention to what I was doing. Their heads were tilted toward each other. Channing listened avidly as Winnie recounted everything her aunt missed while she was overseas. Even though the two talked regularly, it was different to share all the new and exciting experiences they’d had face to face. Winnie flipped through pictures on her phone, showing Channing pictures of her new school in the heart of the bustling city. It was leaps and bounds away from the quiet, exclusive private school she attended while living at the Halliday manor. Her new school was still private, but it was much livelier and felt less like an impenetrable fortress. All she had to do was walk a couple blocks over from the iron gate at the entrance, and she was back in the real world, where no one cared that was a Halliday. I didn’t think it was secure enough, but Winnie’s father and her other uncle enrolled her while I was too weak to do anything about it. Now, she seemed like she was so happy there, I couldn’t bear to move her. It’d been forever since I’d seen her laugh and smile as brightly as she did now, even if she’d been on edge while making such big adjustments.

Channing made all the appropriate noises as the pictures scrolled by. It was obvious she missed Winnie and was happy to be reunited. She promised our niece that she’d grabbed her something fun from all the different places she’d visited the last several months. She had her own impressive photo collection to share, but mostly she just listened as Winnie excitedly rambled. She kept reaching up to smooth the strawberry-blond hair from the teen’s face that was nearly identical to her own. Now and then she would whisper an apology, and Winnie would reassure her that she understood. The teenager was probably too young to fully grasp the depth of her aunt’s regret, but every soft exchange made Channing relax a bit more. Channing seemed far more interested in her niece than her first time flying on a private jet. She might as well be seated in coach on a regular airline for all the enthusiasm she’d shown.

Letting go of the growing aggravation that rose from being ignored by both of them, I reached for the crystal glass again. There were several hours left on the flight home, and I resigned myself to being nothing more than decoration for the duration. Not that I was good for much else these days. My head started to hurt, and my joints ached even more as I shifted uncomfortably in the lux seat, now dotted with wet spots.

Suddenly, a pale, freckled hand snatched the glass away, and a warm washcloth was placed over my spasming digits. The heat instantly soothed the worst of the phantom pain zinging along the damaged nerve endings. The only way I could tell it was a hot cloth was because of the visible steam rising from the fabric. Channing threw herself into the captain’s chair across from mine and lifted her chin to indicate where Winnie was sprawled out in a gangly fashion, doing her best to fall asleep after the adrenaline crash She had headphones on, and her rapidly growing legs stuck out into the walkway through the center of the plane. Someone had placed a fluffy, pink blanket over her, making her look like she didn’t have a care in the world.

“Jet lag takes no prisoners. She’s exhausted.” Channing kept her voice low as we stared at one another. It felt like I was looking at a stranger. The woman in front of me was so subdued. The Channing Harvey I knew didn’t have the word restrained in her vocabulary. “Thank you for bringing Winnie to me. I hate myself for thinking it was okay to let Willow go without her. I decided hastily. That wasn’t fair to the other people who love my sister. I don’t think Winnie could have forgiven me if I went through with my plans without her. I know you had her best interest in mind, but it was also what I needed.” She gave me a wry grin. “All these years, I accused you of being the Halliday heir over Winnie’s wants and needs. But when it really matters, you always come through for her. I’m ashamed to admit that you’re a better guardian for her than I am.”

I used the damp cloth to rub at the brown spots on the cuff of my shirt. I couldn’t meet her gaze because I was afraid the feelings trapped within mine might overwhelm her.

“Winnie is smart enough to know you were avoiding me, not her. She got her big heart from your side of the family. She’d forgive you for anything.” I kept my tone mild, trying to keep the turmoil inside of me at bay. I had a million things I wanted to say to her, but none of them felt right at the moment.

Channing sighed as she reached for my abandoned drink. She shot the expensive liquid back in one go as if she needed the alcohol to have a conversation with me. “How about you, Chester?” The booze made her already raspy voice even huskier. “Can you forgive me for anything?”

I rotated my wrist and flexed my sore fingers. I was sensitive — not just physically but also emotionally — because of my injuries, and because it felt hard to keep my thoughts where this woman was concerned to myself. “Did you do something you need me to forgive?”

Just because I wanted her and needed her while I was trying to put my life back together didn’t mean she was obligated to hold my hand through the arduous process. According to the contract I forced her to sign, she’d done nothing wrong when she ran away from me.

Her fingers tapped against the crystal as she took her time to answer. “We’ve both done things that require forgiveness. If I can forgive you for forcing me into a marriage I never wanted, you should be able to forgive me for leaving when there was no way you could stop me. We’re on a level playing field for once, Win.”

She wasn’t wrong. We wounded each other. The one I inflicted was damn near fatal. Amidst the hurt and healing, and the chaos that came with cleaning up my mother’s mess, I’d forgotten that I dragged Channing into a truly unforgivable situation against her will. I put her in the line of fire. I set her directly in the path of a monster for my own selfish reasons. Of course she would want to get as far away from me as possible.

“Have you forgiven me for manipulating you into marriage?” I let our eyes lock as the question hung between us, heavy and loaded with repressed emotions.

Channing blinked and cocked her head to the side. She gave me a long, considering look, obviously trying to choose her words carefully. Eventually she told me, “No. I haven’t.”

I felt her response like a punch in the gut. My ruined fingers folded into a tight fist and electric zings of agony shot up my arm. I caught my breath at the sharp sensation and pulled my gaze away from Channing’s. I don’t know what I expected her to say, but her outright refusal to budge wasn’t it. I fooled myself into believing we’d grown closer and shifted our adversarial relationship over the course of our fake marriage. Apparently, I was the only one affected by our forced proximity and trauma bond.

I was about to wave the flight steward over to get another drink when Channing’s next words froze me in place.

“I don’t forgive you right now, but I might. Too much has happened between us, both in the past and recently. It’s hard to see anything through the fog. The best I can do at the moment is tell you that I understand why you felt compelled to go against your mother. You told me I was the only person who wasn’t afraid to stand up to Colette, and you were right.” She reached out and put her cool hand over my mangled fist that was still throbbing. “She was terrible, but she was still your mother. Whatever emotional state you’re in can’t be easy, Win.”

My face twisted into a frown as I moved my hand away from hers. “She tried to kill me — and you. She trapped my brother in a medically induced coma. She more than likely murdered my father, and nearly killed Alistair. The only reason I intervened with the media after her death was to save Winnie from a lifetime of being labeled as the granddaughter of a serial killer. She’s going to have a tough enough time being a Halliday. It was the least I could do to protect her. There is no lingering sentiment where my mother is concerned. I’m not that good of a man, Harvey. ”

She withdrew and curled her fingers into her palm. She reclined in the seat and pulled her legs up so she could wrap her arms around them. The position made her appear infinitely younger and more vulnerable. She was like a little animal curling up into a ball to protect itself.

“If I can get to the point where I forgive you, you should be able to forgive me. It’s only fair.” She rested her chin on her knee and gave me a steady look. “Leaving felt easier than staying.”

I chuckled, but the sound lacked humor. “It wasn’t easy for me, or Winnie.” I flexed my hand again and let out a long sigh. “You don’t need to be forgiven because you didn’t do anything wrong. If you stayed, it was because you wanted to, not because of the contract. You had every right to leave when Alistair gave you this opportunity. And just like you, I understand why you did it. Why stay when you had a better offer?”

Her copper-colored eyebrows lifted, and the corners of her mouth turned up in a slight grin. “You’re cute when you’re sulky, Win.”

“I’m not sulky. I’m tired, and I hurt in places I don’t want to think about.” I closed my eyes and rubbed the spot between my eyebrows where I felt the onset of a headache. It would be best if I could fall asleep and shut out the world like Winnie. Unfortunately, my mind was spinning with too many thoughts about the woman in front of me. “Let’s discuss our next steps when we get back to the city. I shouldn’t have mixed painkillers and alcohol. I’m not as clear-headed as I need to be to deal with you, Harvey. I’m glad you got to send off Willow in the way you always wanted. I hope it brings you the closure you’ve needed.”

“She deserved better.” Channing’s voice was small and full of remorse. “Their whole family deserves better.”

“What about you? What do you deserve, Channing?” It was something I never managed to pin down. The things that most women wanted from me – my money, my name, my influence, my power – Channing wanted zero to do with any of it. It was as if all my greatest selling points had no value to her.

“I’m the same as everyone else. I deserve the things I work for and the things I’m willing to fight for. Nothing more or less than that.”

“What if someone comes along who wants to give you more than that?” She’d been unwilling to bend in the slightest when I tried to give her all the shiny baubles that naturally came with being married to a member of the elite. “Why not take it?”

“Because then I feel indebted. I never want to owe anyone more than I can afford to give back. It’s better that way.” Her tone made it seem as if that was a lesson she’d learned the hard way. I didn’t know much about her previous marriages. Only enough to understand that she was hesitant to do the song and dance all over again with me, even though our situation was more like playing dress up than the real thing.

I moved my fingers to rub my temples. The headache was no longer threatening, it was a full-fledged beast beating at the back of my eyeballs and making my ears ring. I wondered if doing the right thing was constantly this painful .

“What you bring to the table in exchange is more valuable than material things. Others owe you for your loyalty, perseverance, and willingness to see the best in even the worst type of person.” Like me. “You’re worth your weight in gold, Harvey. Don’t doubt it.”

She laughed again. I pried my eyes open to look at her. When our gazes clashed, hers was bright and teasing. “If that’s the case, then you’re the only one who can afford me, Chester.”

It was my turn to smile. However, I knew it was strained and full of self-deprecation. “Not for long.”

Her head shot up, and a shocked expression crossed her pretty features. She was gone long enough; she had no idea what I’d been up to since I woke and found her missing. Part of me was thrilled Alistair hadn’t filled her in yet. It made my actions appear less conniving and calculated. As if the moves I made had nothing to do with her, when the reality was, I decided to walk away from a dynasty because of her.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You can afford to buy an entire country. You can fund a private army. The one thing you aren’t lacking is money.”

I snorted. “I’m giving it all away.” Which was much harder than it sounded. Handling billions in an appropriate and responsible way was easier said than done. So was abdicating my position as CEO of the Halliday conglomerate. Regardless of how many donations I made, or how far I tried to distance myself from my legacy, I was always going to be a Halliday. “You want an even playing field. There’s only one way to achieve that.”

Channing was stunned. Her legs fell down to the floor of the plane, and she leaned forward so far forward she nearly fell out of the leather seat. “That’s impossible. How can you give all your money away? What about Winnie?”

I shrugged and leaned my head back. “Winnie will always be taken care of. I’m relinquishing my finances, not hers. She had her own inheritance, and now that Archie is back in the picture, there’s also his portion of the family fortune. She will never want for anything.” And neither would Channing if she stayed by my side. I could take care of her with or without Halliday Inc. at my back. It was a bold promise to make, and I would only do it after I knew she was done running away from me.

“Even without all that money, you’ll never be a commoner, Win. You’ll always be as close to the ruling class as a man without a crown and throne can get.”

I was done talking about it. The wheels were already in motion. She refused to climb the castle walls and join me. Which meant I had to swim across the moat to join her on the outside. No kingdom wanted a defective leader, anyway. I didn’t have it in me to fight for fortune and infamy any longer. I also wasn’t in any shape to explain all of that to her at the moment.

Now that she was back in my orbit and I could see her, hear her, and feel her presence, none of the obstacles in front of us felt insurmountable. So I would wait for her forgiveness while looking for my own.