The Sound of Secrets (The Monsters Duet #2)

Chapter 6

Channing

“Spending all this time around kids — does it make you want your own?” Salome observed my expression over the rim of her champagne flute.

I laughed. “Winnie isn’t a kid. Teenagers can be a lot. It’s fun now that she’s able to communicate her thoughts and feelings more clearly. It’s terrifying how much she reminds me of Win. I’m thankful that she inherited Willow’s compassion, because without it…” I trailed off and shook my head while watching twenty-or-so teens rampage through a massive and exquisitely decorated party tent. I had no idea Win changed the theme of the party to circus at the last minute, but couldn’t deny he’d done a great job getting everything together. Alistair didn’t seem to mind that all his preparations went down the drain, and Winnie was over the moon. “I used to think I wanted a big family. Now, I can be a childless cat lady and be perfectly content. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older. Or possibly because I’ve seen up close and personal how difficult growing up in a broken family can be. Th e thought of having kids doesn’t feel like a must have in order for me to have a fulfilling life like it once did.” I shrugged. “If it’s meant to be, then it’ll happen.”

Thinking about having children always hit a hidden sore spot I’d long since buried, but my best friend knew exactly where to dig. I nudged Salome with my elbow and inclined my head to where Roan was engaged in a fast-paced conversation with Alistair. Both men had colorful images painted on their faces, and the younger one was playing with a variety of balloon animals that were scattered on the table. Win spared no expense for the entertainment. There were several people dressed as clowns, in full makeup and costume, mingling among the crowd. One even had a monkey that the kids couldn’t wait to take selfies with.

“What about you? Even if you won’t admit that you’re seeing Roan, do you think about the future? What about settling down with someone?”

Salome snorted and handed me a glass off a passing tray that matched hers. “I already told you; we’re just having fun. Roan’s a chill guy. We’re both busy running our businesses and worrying about you. The main reason it works is because neither one of us has unrealistic expectations of the other.” She lifted an eyebrow and gave me a pointed look. “I’m not going to run off and marry the first guy who’s nice to me. That’s your MO.”

I huffed at the insult but didn’t have a leg to stand on. Salome knew my train wreck of a dating history better than anyone else. I noticed that Winnie and Win were standing off to the side of the revelry talking to a clown wearing a full harlequin face mask. The bells on the tips of the hat happily jangled every time he moved. He was the only performer not engaging with the other partygoers, his attention fully focused on my niece. I smiled softly when I noticed she was holding his white-gloved hand like he would vanish if she let go.

“I also married a guy who hates me. I’m an equal opportunity mistake-maker.”

Salome scoffed. “Have you talked to the billionaire about getting divorced? I thought your first stop would be the courthouse when you got back from Europe. Instead, you’re back to playing house with him like his mother didn’t try to murder you. And how can you forget that the only reason you’re together is because the bastard blackmailed you?”

“I haven’t forgotten anything. The time to have a serious talk about what’s next just hasn’t been right. He’s been swamped trying to hand over Halliday Inc.” I stared at the handsome man who leaned over to give the beautifully dressed clown a bearhug. My heart softened like melted butter. I had no doubt the harlequin was Archie. Win obviously tanked the original party idea so he could ensure Winnie’s father was there for her birthday. “Besides, I don’t know that I’m ready to add another divorce to my ever-growing list. There has to be a better option.”

Salome blinked and nearly choked on her champagne. “You don’t want to divorce Win?”

I sighed heavily. “I don’t know what I want.” Marriage. Kids. A happy family unit. Someone who loved me unconditionally. I always thought my wish list for my life was simple and easy enough to achieve. As it turned out, those small blessings were the hardest to come by. “ When I left him in the burn unit and ran away to Europe, I missed him.” And I felt horribly guilty for leaving him behind when he needed me.

My best friend snorted and rolled her eyes. “You missed him? Or missed his dick? Because those are two very different things. Don’t tell me you couldn’t find time to talk about the future, but there was ample opportunity to fuck?”

I hushed her and motioned the surrounding teenagers. This was a private conversation for when we got drunk and had an adult pajama party. Not one for a festive teenage birthday party. “I missed all of him.”

I really did.

Salome made a sound of surrender, but gave me a look that clearly stated the conversation was far from over. “You know, even if he gives away most of his money and walks away from the family business, he’s still going to be richer than either you or I can ever imagine. And he’s always going to be a Halliday. He can’t be anything else.” Seeing that I was unwilling to keep talking about what was or wasn’t impossible, she switched the subject. “Where’s the little hero your niece was willing to risk Win’s wrath over?”

I glanced around the tent and didn’t see anyone who seemed out of place. I waved at my friend Beverly, who was sitting at a table with her younger brother. The pretty opera singer was from Winnie’s hometown, and her brother was the closest Winnie had to a best friend even though he was a couple grades behind her. I tried to subtly point in that direction and whispered to Salome, “That’s Beverly. She’s the one who saved me at that awful fundraiser Win dragged me to. She’s around Alistair’s age. I’ve been dropping hints to both of them that they should meet. I think they’d make the perfect couple.”

Salome smiled at the other woman and offered a small finger wave in greeting. “She’s stunning. But didn’t you tell me she was leaving for Sydney when she graduates? Alistair seems like too much of a playboy to maintain a long-distance relationship. From what you’ve told me, that boy gets around.”

“True. But if he finds the right person, maybe he’ll change his mind.” I nudged her again and cocked my head in my ex-husband’s direction.

She pushed my shoulder, which caused me to nearly drop the champagne flute. I laughed when she scolded, “You better be this annoying with Roan, otherwise you’re being sexist.”

“I’m more annoying around him because I know what an amazing partner he is. Any woman who lands him is lucky. And any guy who gets you is clearly blessed by the gods. Which is why I think the two of you are perfect together.”

Salome opened her mouth to retort, but her attention suddenly shifted to the entrance of the tent. She let out a low whistle and muttered, “That is a teenage boy who has heartache written all over him.”

The kid stood awkwardly as he scoped out the occupants of the party tent. He was tall for a teenager. He was dressed more casually than any of the other attendees in baggy jeans and a soccer jersey worn over a long-sleeve shirt. He wore basic Converse, which had seen better days, and a baseball hat that sat on his head backward. None of the basic teenage-boy uniform did anything to hide that he was beautiful. For Salome, who used to be a model and was surrounded by the world’s most attractive men, to call the kid a heartache , it wasn’t an exaggeration.

His dark eyes moved restlessly through the crowd, briefly stopping where I was standing. He didn’t make a move until Winnie noticed him and started toward him. She stopped to grab Luka, Beverly’s brother, and dragged him along to break the ice. I watched Win frown from across the room. The harlequin clown also kept his attention on the birthday girl as she enthusiastically welcomed the newcomer. It was painfully obvious my niece’s new friend was overwhelmed and out of place. He bravely let her bring him inside and patiently waited while she introduced him to her friends. It was adorable the way all the girls giggled and blushed, which had all the other boys shifting and scowling with envy. When you were the level of good looking that created shockwaves within a crowd, your financial status was irrelevant.

“Handsome and heroic. Winnie already has better taste than you at that age.” Salome’s words were dry and meant to be a joke, but she wasn’t wrong.

I wanted to laugh at the light jab, but there was something about the teenager I found unnerving. I looked at Salome and asked, “Do you think he looks familiar? I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere before.”

“Didn’t Win’s security say he’s a city kid? You’ve probably passed by him on the streets or seen him around the neighborhood. ”

I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s it.” My gut reaction told me the uneasy feeling of familiarity was more than a recognizable face. “Oh shit. I’m going to run interference.”

I hastily handed her my untouched drink and moved through the crowd to reach Win’s side just as Winnie approached her uncle. I nodded at the disguised Archie and gave him a thumbs up. I grabbed onto Win’s forearm and squeezed while warning through my teeth, “Be nice. Don’t make this hard on her. It’s her birthday.”

His scarred hand covered mine. I could feel the tension in his grip. The expression on his handsome face was cold enough to freeze the entire city. The young man standing next to Winnie didn’t even flinch under the pressure from the arctic blast. I was momentarily impressed by his composure.

“Uncle Win, this is Ky. He helped me out when I was in trouble.” Winnie was noticeably nervous. I could tell she was doing her best to hide it.

The teenage boy stared at Win like he was trying to see inside his head. Now that I was closer, I could see his hair was bleached white as snow. His dark eyes and tan complexion made the color pop and gave him an effortlessly rebellious air. I couldn’t blame Win for being leery of having someone who looked like he embodied catnip for teenage girls (and boys) around Winnie.

Ky stuck his hand out clumsily and muttered, “I want to thank you for intervening with the kids from Winnie’s school. Their parents were giving my mom a hard time over the fight, and they wanted me kicked off the soccer team. I know the reason all of that went away is because of you. ”

Win let go of me and politely returned the handshake. However, he didn’t let go and told the teen, “I’m better at making problems than I am at solving them. Keep that in mind the next time you want to convince Winnie to do something that puts her in danger.”

When the kid’s hand was finally free, he lifted it to rub the back of his neck anxiously. “I understand. I didn’t realize who she was at first. Most of those kids at her school have some kind of security detail. I always thought it was for show.”

“That may be the case, but you never know what someone else is dealing with unless you’re familiar with their situation. Making assumptions often leads to trouble.” I dug my fingers into his arm to remind him it wasn’t his place to parent someone else’s child.

“I’m Winnie’s Aunt Channing.” I forced a smile and waved a hand around the tent. “What Win means to say is, thank you for protecting Winnie from those bullies. Her wellbeing is of utmost importance to her uncle and me. We’re happy to have you here. Enjoy the party.”

I paused and involuntarily straightened when Ky turned his head, and our eyes met. A shiver shot down my spine as the dark gaze seemed to pin me in place. I felt Win look down at me in confusion as I asked, “This is a weird question, but have we met before?” Usually, that was a cheesy pickup line tossed around, so I hastened to add, “You look very familiar.”

His jaw clenched, and his gaze shifted away. “Maybe I just have one of those faces that everyone thinks they know.”

Win made a sound of disbelief and told him flatly, “You definitely do not. ”

“I’m probably mistaken.” I shrugged it off and watched as Winnie led her new friend away.

My head lifted when Win tapped my chin to turn my attention back to him. “I have grown men who refuse to meet my gaze and shake when I stick my hand out. I don’t want to admit it, but that kid has nerves of steel. I think he’s going to be an issue for Winnie.”

“He’s going to be an issue for everyone. ” I meant the taunt to be funny and lighthearted, but the words sounded deathly serious.

Win stroked his finger along the curve of my jaw and a deep V arrowed between his dark eyebrows. “Have you actually seen him hanging around, or were you just trying to make conversation?”

“I’ve never seen him before today.” I stopped as a vague memory pushed to the forefront of my mind. “A boy in a hoodie bumped into me at the park the day Winnie disappeared. He was moving fast and I couldn’t see his face. I bet it was him.” It easily explained the unsettling feeling that followed Ky’s arrival. “It’s nothing to worry about.” I wanted to sound sure, but the words were shaky at best. Win used his thumb to stroke my bottom lip, and I could see the concern in his storm-colored eyes. To divert his attention from the kids, I turned to smile at Archie, who watched the entire exchange silently. I praised both the brothers in the same breath. “You look fantastic today. Having you here for her birthday is what Winnie wanted most. It was such a clever idea to switch everything to a circus, so no one would question the makeup and masks. No wonder you’re worth the big bucks, Mr. CEO. ”

With all the damage done to his body and mind, Archie moved a little slower than most. His eyes blinked and his gaze seemed to soften inside the mask, giving the impression that an ornately painted smile belonged to him. “I wish Willow could be here.”

It was a sentiment with which I was deeply familiar. I caught one of the gloved hands and held it tight. “Me too.”

I planned to engage Win’s brother further, but our conversation was rudely interrupted by a commotion at the entrance of the rented tent. Win and I simultaneously looked over and saw Rocco and a couple of his guys holding back an older man who was making a fuss. At first glance, I thought it was a vagrant who wandered into the party looking for food. My blood went cold when the detainee shouted, “It’s my granddaughter’s birthday! I have every right to be here. Let go of me.”

Before I could take a step in the direction of the intruder, both Salome and Roan rushed toward the older man. I knew they both recognized my father, even if he hadn’t appeared in my life in the last several years. Paul Harvey only resurfaced when he wanted money or a place to stay. I broke free of Win’s hold and ran as fast as I could through the crowd. My heart raced and I could feel anger boiling in my blood.

How dare he interrupt the first birthday Winnie had where she wasn’t upstaged by a greedy adult’s agenda? I felt like I could murder him with my bare hands for being so inconsiderate.

Win was hot on my heels and told Rocco to take the struggling man out of the tent and let him loose. I stopped in front of the parent I would be happy to never see again, and demanded, “What are you doing here, Dad?”

He made a big show of brushing off his clothes and puffing up his chest. My father was a lifelong angler. He was weathered by the sun and storms. He was no lightweight or pushover. He towered over me with a glare. “I want to see Willow’s daughter.”

I shook my head. “No way. There’s been no effort on your part to have anything to do with this family since long before my sister died. You don’t get to demand access to any of us.” If I had eyes in the back of my head, I would’ve caught the telling look Rocco and Win exchanged over the top of my head. “Leave, before security makes you leave.”

He glared at me and growled, “Grew up to have quite a mouth on you, didn’t you?”

I glared back. “I’ve always called it like I see it. You don’t know that because you were too busy cheating on Mom.”

The older man chuckled and turned his head to spit on the pristine landscape of the park. It was so uncouth and rude; I wasn’t the only one whose face wrinkled in disgust.

“What I did with my time outside the home was only an issue for you and your sister. Your mom and I are still married, in case you’ve forgotten.”

I gritted my teeth and crossed my arms over my chest. I wanted to strangle him with every ounce of strength I possessed. “Only because you drove her to the point of being considered clinically insane. ”

My voice cracked, and the words sounded as broken as my family was. He always called her crazy , and it made me see red. Georgie Harvey was ill, not crazy. But a man like my father would never understand or appreciate the difference. It wasn’t my dad’s fault my mother had difficulty managing her mental illness. But he was absolutely responsible for how blithely and carelessly he dealt with it. His actions and disregard were a huge part of why my mother’s symptoms were so complicated to regulate. It felt like he purposely mistreated her so he could blame all her reactions to his deplorable behavior on her brain chemistry.

Sensing I was on the brink of losing control, Win pulled me back and took a protective step in front of me. “This is a private party. Only those who were invited are allowed inside. All the guests have gone through a thorough background check. I have no way to verify who you really are, or your intentions toward my niece. As her legal guardian, it’s fully my discretion who can and cannot be around her. If you want to speak with Winnie, you have to go through me first.”

My father swore and threateningly stepped toward Win. He was brought up short when Rocco intercepted him. My father might be big and look tough, but Rocco was an impenetrable wall.

“You heard Channing call me ‘Dad.’ Obviously, I’m her father.”

Win sneered. “Do you know who I am?”

My father continued to scowl. “You’re the brother of that rich prick who stole my other daughter away and then got her killed. ”

Win narrowed his eyes. “I’m Channing’s husband. If you were any type of father, you would know that.” He protectively put his arm around me and cradled me against his side. “Escort this party crasher away. If he doesn’t go willingly, call the police.”

As we walked away, I whispered to Win, “Why is he back?”

Win kissed the top of my head. “I don’t know, but I won’t let him hurt you, or anyone else in our family.”

An awful premonition settled in the center of my chest. I wondered how we ended up having to save ourselves and each other from our parents. What happened to them looking out for us? At least my dad could never be as bad as his mother.

Right?

***

Winnie’s party wasn’t supposed to turn into an actual circus. But leave it to my father to ruin a good thing. I couldn’t wait to wash my lingering annoyance away. I turned my head when the glass door of the shower opened. The small space immediately filled with the warmth and heat of another body entering the enclosed space. The hands roughly scrubbing my hair were replaced by a much gentler touch, and a deep voice did its best to soothe me after the chaos of the day.

“Don’t worry too much about your father. He’s a piece of cake to handle.” Of course, Win would think that way after a lifetime of dealing with Colette. He guided my head back under the water and carefully rinsed the shampoo away from my face. He used his thumbs to massage my temples and reassured, “I’ll keep him away from the people you care about.”

I hummed in acknowledgment and muttered, “Everything would be easier if I could convince my mom to divorce him. I hate how he wields their marriage like a weapon to get what he wants. If I turn him away, or ignore him when he comes asking for money, he knows that I’ll relent if he threatens to go to my mother instead. But every time I’ve tried to mention that she should formally leave him, it sends her into a spiral and she gets mean and nasty. They’ve been separated for so long. All she can picture is when they were young and still madly in love. She has no memory of him cheating on her, or of how awful he was toward me and Willow.”

Win applied more pressure with his fingers, which caused me to let out a light moan of relief when the vise around my head felt like it started to loosen.

“Do you want to look into putting your mother into a conservatorship? You’ve managed her life and health for so long. I doubt a judge would deny it. Especially if you get testimonials from her facility. That’s one way to legally keep your father away from her.”

I rested the back of my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes as one of his hands moved from stroking my temple to rubbing behind my ear and along the side of my neck. The pressure released a string of knots I didn’t even realize were bundled up and pulled tight.

“I may have to. I’ve always wanted her to live as independently as possible since she’s trapped within her own mind. Can you have Rocco look into why my father is suddenly so insistent on reuniting with Winnie? I’m sure he thinks he can access whatever Willow left her, but he’s not dumb enough to make a move in front of you the way he did at the party. He’s greedy, but not reckless. He wanted to make a scene.”

Win’s hand skimmed across the top of my chest, then dropped so that he was caressing one of my wet breasts. My nipples immediately hardened as he rolled one between his scarred fingertips.

“Already on it. He surfaced while you were in Europe, trying to see your mother. The visit alarmed her caregivers and my brother. Rocco has been monitoring him, but there was no indication he planned to see Winnie this weekend. I agree his performance today had a purpose other than crashing her party.” His teeth nipped at the side of my neck, and his free hand slid down my belly and stopped right below my belly button. “Make a choice, Harvey. Are we going to keep discussing your dad, or are we going to fuck? Your rule. We can’t do both.”

I sighed as his fingers disappeared between my legs. His touch was light but deliberate. His fingers trailed heat behind them, and my body contracted in response. I lifted an arm to curl around his head and tilted my head back for a kiss. I was more than over speaking about my deadbeat dad. I spent a lifetime trying to protect my mother from him. Having Win as an extra hurdle Paul Harvey would have to get over if he wanted to keep screwing with the people I loved made me breathe easier .

Win’s fingers tauntingly skipped my clit. Instead, they circled my entrance and playfully inched inward. The touch tickled and made the area between my legs quiver. My knees fell loose, and my breathing turned rapid as he deepened the kiss and his tongue flicked against mine. He was a domineering kisser. He used his mouth to command mine into a wanton response. If his teeth were hungry, he kissed me until mine were desperate to bite back. If his tongue was coaxing, he kissed me until mine surrendered. If his lips were powerful and punishing, mine were pliant. All I could do was follow him down the rabbit hole.

When his fingers finally dipped deeper into my eager opening, I pulled away from the devouring kiss and gasped. The heel of Win’s palm pressed heavily on my aching slit and my entire body wanted to vibrate with pleasure. He chuckled from behind me and reached out to adjust the showerhead so it wasn’t right in my face. With the stream pointed down where we were connected, my nerves felt like they were electrified. I had to brace a hand against the slick wall, as well as Win’s chest, when his fingers started to pump in and out of me. Riding his hand, my knees turned to water, and I almost fell because of the wet tile in the walk-in shower. Win held me up and chuckled against the curve of my shoulder, where his teeth tugged at my skin. My pulse thundered erratically, and my heartbeat sounded like a marching band practicing inside my skull.

From behind, the press of Win’s steely erection against my ass grew increasingly insistent. The hard length rubbed wantonly in the cleft I didn’t think too much about. The sensation caused me to gasp and wiggle. It wasn’t clear if my instinct was to move away or search out even more of the foreign and forbidden feeling. I grabbed his wrist to guide his hand more fully between my legs. He went back to playfully teasing me, but my blood was too hot to handle the flirty foreplay. He obediently shifted his hold, so that his thumb could circle my clit while his other hand tightened on my breast. He rolled my nipple in the center of his palm while his hips started to grind his cock against my backside.

I was stimulated in all directions, which caused my mind to swim away from reality. I was caught in a bright bubble of lust. I never wanted it to pop. It seemed like my desire and satisfaction were the only things that mattered to the man holding me, which made my heart twist painfully. To be everything to a man who held the world in the palm of his hand was a heady and powerful feeling. There was no other rush that matched it.

Our breathing was harsh and echoed in the tight space. Win turned us so that I was facing the wall opposite the door. The water shut off as my head fell forward to rest on the tile. His body moved against mine as his fingers continued to play my most sensitive spots like they were a priceless instrument. I felt his lips land on the back of my neck and his dick move with more force against my ass. I moaned his name and shivered when his teeth bit down hard enough to sting.

I warned him I was going to come if he kept flicking his thumb on my clit. He growled and shifted his hold on me so that my hips were arched toward him. He told me to put my hands on the wall, as he situated himself behind me. When he straightened his knees, his cock drove deep inside of me with enough force and suddenness I couldn’t help but yelp. My breath caught, and I had to close my eyes to anchor myself and not get swept away by the overwhelming feeling of being taken and owned.

I was growing quite fond of the hidden savage Win kept under wraps. It was a part of him I convinced myself no one else got to see. This Win was all mine, and I wasn’t keen on sharing him with another living soul.

“You feel so fucking good, Channing.” One of his hands lifted to rest at the base of my throat, and the other darted back between my legs. The spot was soaked. It had nothing to do with being in the shower. My body simply reacted to him with no shame or decorum. There was no pretending. I wanted him as badly as he repeatedly claimed to want me.

“I do feel good.” The words were strangled but held a hint of humor. “Because of you.” Win knew exactly who I was. There was zero pretense between the two of us. I never felt like I had to be someone better when I was with him. I didn’t feel like I had to earn my keep, or else he would find someone more suitable. Whatever the complicated emotions Win Halliday arose within me, they had nothing to do with trying to find my place in his world. He made it clear he would make space when I was ready to stand by him. Or behind him. Or even in front of him. The position didn’t matter. I did.

“If you give me a chance, I’ll make you feel better than good. I’ll be the best you’ve ever had.”

A laugh slipped out. “You already are.” How could he believe anything different ?

My words unleashed a new level of hunger within him, and he started to fuck me faster. Our wet skin rubbed together and the sounds we made filled the steamy bathroom.

His hips moved faster, and his fingers used more force. My palms slipped against the tile, so I pushed back against him. The hand near my throat tightened its hold and my pussy pulsed in response. I wasn’t going to last much longer. Sex with Win always felt fast and furious, regardless of how long he was inside of me. It was like taking drugs. A little went a long way, and it was scary how quickly I got addicted.

I moaned long and loud when my body shuddered through a powerful climax. Once everything went soft and pliant, Win’s hips crashed into my ass in a wild rhythm as he chased down his release. He was rough, but still made sure I kept my balance and didn’t face-plant onto the ground. He lasted several minutes beyond what I thought I could handle. Every touch and movement felt exaggerated and overwhelming. When he finally came, we were both ready to collapse in a heap of noodle-like limbs.

Win held my limp body and reached out to crank the shower back on. The warm water immediately hit my thighs and washed away any evidence we’d just been debauched and unhinged like horny teenagers a moment ago. I hummed in appreciation as Win’s palms coasted over my skin.

I had my eyes closed and my head tilted back when his deep, muted voice reverberated against the expensive surroundings. “Your parents’ marriage isn’t the only marriage you need to address, Harvey.” He sighed when I stiffened in front of him. “A big part of me is saying not to push because you might run again. But I need to know what you want from me. I need to know how long I’m allowed to keep you.” He kissed the top of my head and gave me a back hug that felt full of desperation. “I’m doing my best to convince you to stay because I don’t know how to let you go.”

I patted the back of his damaged hands. This conversation was long overdue, but I still had no clue what to say to him.

“I’ve experienced a near perfect marriage, and one that was outright awful. Neither one was hard to leave.” I tried to keep my tone light and reassuring. “Nothing is easy about what we have, Chester.” Staying might be the right thing to do for us. But I didn’t know what the best thing for me was. Loving and being in love with Win still seemed like an impossibility, even if he went to great lengths to prove otherwise.

Win rested his chin on the top of my head. His voice was wistful when he muttered, “I can’t promise perfection, and I’m a Halliday. Awful moments here and there are a given. The only guarantee I can give is that I will work every single day to make sure you never regret being married to me. I’ll be the type of husband you need, so I can learn how to be the husband you want.”

I turned around so I could hug him back. He turned the water off and we stood in silence for an extended moment. When I pulled back, I told him, “The problem is, I don’t know that I want to be the wife you want and need, Win.” I’d tried and failed the matrimony game. I didn’t think my heart could rebound if Win and I crashed and burned. Everything about him was a colossal risk, and I doubted my bravery in taking such a massive leap. There weren’t a lot of examples of couples going the distance in my life. I pulled back so I could meet his gaze. “Can it be enough that I don’t want to be anywhere else right now?”

It was the best I could do.

Win swore and eventually relented. I could tell he wasn’t ready to give up the fight but didn’t want to cross the clear boundary I just laid down.

We got out of the shower and he wrapped me up in a fluffy white towel. While the fabric was over my head and my face was covered, he asked, “How come we’ve never talked about your previous marriages? Your second husband is still in your life, and you have a friendly relationship with him. What about your first husband?”

I stiffened and pulled the towel closer to my body. I always felt like I needed an extra layer of protection when talking about the biggest mistake I’d ever made. And considering I once dated a guy for six months who was dumb as a box of rocks just because he looked like Tom Hardy, that was saying something about how shitty my first marriage had been.

“My first husband isn’t worth mentioning. I don’t mean that in a bitter ex-wife way. He’s a horrible person. He was much older than me. The relationship was toxic from the start. In hindsight, I can see I found a substitute to fill in the gap my father left in my life, but my choice was even worse than the original. I hope I never see him again for as long as…” I trailed off, my eyes widening in sudden realization under the cover of the towel. I scrambled to free myself, my heart rate quickening and my breathing jagged. I looked at Win and then at myself in the mirror. I could see horror in my eyes and concern on his handsome face. “Ky looks just like my ex-husband, Parker. I haven’t thought about him in so long. No wonder I couldn’t place why he looks so familiar.”

Win frowned as he moved to the sink to brush his teeth. “Is the similarity that uncanny?”

I gulped as my fingers started to wring together with anxiety. “Ky looks identical to the pictures of Parker as a teenager. Ky said you smoothed things over for his mom when he got in trouble. Did you see anything about his father?”

My mind was racing a million miles a minute, and I felt like I was on the brink of having a heart attack. Winnie told me that Ky was a couple years ahead of her in school, which would make him fifteen or sixteen. Before realizing he resembled my ex-husband, his age was irrelevant. Now, it was the sweet spot that might mean he was a huge problem for me. A problem that was linked to my absolute worst moments.

Win’s reflection scowled harder as he spit out his toothpaste and said, “He was adopted as a baby. Julie and Jordan Kent. The dad took off when he was a toddler. Rocco couldn’t get any information on the biological parents. Are you really this worked up over the thought of your ex having a kid with someone else and putting it up for adoption?”

I put my hands on the edge of the vanity to keep myself standing as my knees liquified. A buzzing sound filled my head .

“Him. Not it. He put him up for adoption.” A choking laugh escaped my throat. Our gazes locked in the mirror. Win looked puzzled and understandably annoyed. I looked like I was on the verge of hysteria. I’d never seen myself look so much like my mother and it was terrifying. “I couldn’t care less about kids he may have had with someone else — but Ky might be the kid I had when he and I were still together.”

Win’s head jerked around fast enough to give him whiplash. “What?” His shock echoed off the walls. It was like I dropped a bomb in the middle of the ornate bathroom. The resonance was deafening as it vibrated all the way down to my bones.

I just laid bare my deepest, darkest, most painful secret and I would never forget the hollow, empty way it sounded or the way it made my heart shake.