The Sound of Secrets (The Monsters Duet #2)

Chapter 8

Channing

“You look terrible, Aunt Channing. And not your usual, can’t be bothered to put real clothes on, terrible.” Winnie cast a disapproving look at my baggy sweatpants, and oversized hoodie that had a giant hole in the shoulder. I kept the hood up over my messy hair and wore giant black sunglasses to keep my aching eyeballs from falling out of my skull. I was holding on to a massive cup of coffee for dear life and concentrating extra hard on putting one foot in front of the other as I walked with Winnie to a bookstore that was not too far from the brownstone.

“I’m hungover. I had a bit too much fun at your party.” I didn’t mean to blatantly lie to my niece, but I wasn’t ready to pull the Band-Aid off the wound I’d ripped open and bled out for Win last night. Reliving that nightmare once in the last fifteen years was enough. Win and I agreed to only give her the information she needed about Ky until his identity was fully vetted. “How about you? Did you enjoy having an actual party instead of a glorified business meeting to celebrate your birthday?” I battled a jaw-cracking yawn. “Your Uncle Win went all out for you.”

Winnie’s head bobbed in an excited nod. She was practically skipping next to me since she was so full of extra energy.

“It was so much fun. Everyone is still texting and posting about it. They either loved or hated the clowns. I didn’t know so many people think clowns are creepy.”

“Coulrophobia is what a fear of clowns is called. The fear is common enough for it to have a fancy name.” I lifted a hand to rub the center of my aching forehead. “When I worked at the antique shop here in the city, people were always bringing in old dolls painted like clowns. They would clean out a parent’s attic or storage unit and find them. They always said they thought they were haunted.” I smiled at Winnie’s surprised expression. “Half the time I agreed with them. Win’s a genius for figuring out a way to include your dad in a way that he felt comfortable being there.”

Winnie locked her arm with mine, forcing me to move faster. My body screamed at me in protest, but I gritted my teeth and did my best to keep pace with her. Next time I needed to do something else with my sorrows other than drown them. I couldn’t bounce back from chugging an entire bottle of wine — much less two bottles — like I did in my twenties. I was lucky Win put me to bed and took care of me throughout the night. Otherwise, I would’ve passed out on the terrace in a pile of puke and been eaten alive by mosquitos .

“It was the best birthday I can remember. Even if it got interrupted. Was that angry man really my grandfather?”

I hummed. I knew she was going to ask about the intrusion once we were alone. I figured this was the reason she asked me to go to the bookstore with her, instead of taking the opportunity to meet up with friends. I only wished I’d been in a better state of mind to tackle such a complicated conversation.

“Yes, that man is Paul Harvey. Technically speaking, he’s your grandfather. But since he’s never shown any interest in filling that role in your life, he’s more like a bystander. At least, that’s how I always thought of him. He wasn’t around much for me or your mom.” He had a habit of showing up at the worst time and exploiting it to his advantage.

Winnie kicked a small pebble with the toe of her pink sneaker and finally slowed her steps when she noticed I was struggling. “Why was he so angry? I don’t even remember him. He shouldn’t be mad he wasn’t invited to my party. No one knew he wanted to come.”

“That wasn’t real anger. He was putting on a show. He wanted the attention. He wanted to make sure everyone saw him being denied entry, and he wanted everyone to hear him call you his granddaughter. I’m not sure what his plans are, but I know nothing good will come of it. If you see him lurking around anywhere, tell your security. If he tries to approach you when you’re on your own, you need to run away. Promise me, Winnie.” I stopped walking, lifted my sunglasses briefly, and gave her a serious look. “I want to believe he wouldn’t hurt you, but…” I trailed off and shook my head. He didn’t care who he hurt. He’d proven so time and time again. “It’s best to keep your distance from him.” I cupped her cheek with my free hand and told her, “The same thing stands for Ky. I know you think he’s your friend and you’re grateful that he helped you, but you need to treat him with caution. And you most certainly can’t develop any type of romantic feelings for him.” God forbid they ended up being related and Winnie ended up heartbroken when the revelation came to light. My brain wanted to implode at the thought. Could Ky really be my missing baby? It felt improbable, but my heart still fluttered at the thought. It was best to nip whatever their growing relationship was in the bud. “I want you to know what it’s like to be a normal teenager, but the truth is, you will never be normal. You’re always going to be the Halliday heir. Which means people are going to approach you with ill intent.”

Winnie scowled and pulled away from my touch. “You make it sound like I’m going to be alone forever, Aunt Channing. Like no one will ever want to be in my life unless they want to get their hands on the Halliday fortune. You don’t think anyone will want to be my friend or be in love with me just for who I am?”

I found a place to toss the empty coffee cup and wiped my hands on my messy sweatshirt. “Of course you’ll be adored for who you are. You’re wonderful. But there are people out there who will try to take advantage of you for their own gain. So, you have to be smart and stay alert. ”

“Why do you think Ky is going to take advantage of me? What did he do to give you that impression?” She sounded stubborn and defiant. She never used to argue with me like this. Considering I nearly stopped her from being there when I scattered her mother’s ashes, I guess I had to give her a little leeway. She was growing up and maturing. It was good to ask questions, even if she wouldn’t get the answers she wanted.

“I just want you to get to know him better before you decide the type of person he is. And if you’re going to fall for someone, they have to understand your family and the type of life you lead. You and Ky come from very different backgrounds. Being friends is fine, but anything beyond that is impossible. Besides, you’re still young. You need to focus on school and enjoy the bits of freedom you finally have. No boy is worth messing that up.”

Winnie snorted and rolled her eyes at me. “You and Uncle Win also have opposite backgrounds, and you’re married. He didn’t want to be with any of those women who understood our family and wanted to marry into his lifestyle. He wanted to marry you . I think you’re being harsh on Ky for no reason.” She waved a hand dismissively. “But don’t worry. I’m not crushing on him. I just think he’s cool and brave. It’s rare for someone to help someone else when it doesn’t benefit them at all. If Uncle Win hadn’t stepped in, those guys from my school would’ve destroyed Ky’s future just for standing up for me. I want to be more like him, and not like them.”

I cleared my throat and blinked behind the dark lenses of my sunglasses. He sounded like a decent kid. Why did he have to show up exactly when my father decided to make trouble? The timing made it impossible to trust him.

I was opening my mouth to tell her that her motivation was admirable, but she still needed to be careful, when the security guy Rocco sent to follow us suddenly stepped forward and caught a kid on a skateboard who was barreling toward us. The teenager swore and struggled in the man’s grasp as the empty board rolled toward us.

Winnie rushed forward and demanded that the skater be released. The white hair and faded hoodie were a dead giveaway as to who was riding in our direction. I pushed my sunglasses to the top of my head and motioned for the security detail to drop the struggling and swearing teenager.

“He’s a friend.” I gritted the words through my teeth and stared at the boy unblinkingly. Now that I resurrected all the memories I thought were dead and buried, I couldn’t look at Ky in the same way. It was scary to see the face of someone I hated on the face of someone I could very well love with my entire being. I didn’t know if this boy was mine or not, and the uncertainty felt like a knife digging into my heart. I didn’t want to jump the gun or be overly optimistic, but everything inside of me wanted to rush to the boy and wrap him up in my arms. I didn’t know if he was the baby who was stolen from me, but my heart desperately wanted him to be. Even if my soul had a violent reaction to his familiar appearance. The internal tug of war was excruciating.

Ky dusted himself off while glaring at the security guy. He kicked his skateboard up into his hand after he caught it and muttered, “I just wanted to say hi. I was headed to the park by the school to meet some friends and saw you walking from the other side of the street. I was going to thank you for inviting me to your party. I doubt I’ll ever get the chance to go to something that bougie ever again.”

Winnie shooed the security guy away and apologized to Ky. “Sorry. My uncle hires people who are overzealous when it comes to my safety. Are you all right?”

He waved off her concern and shifted his gaze to me. Similar to how he looked at me during the party, I felt like he was trying to see inside my head. It was unnerving to be mentally dissected and evaluated by someone so young. We stared at each other in silence while I searched his face for any signs of myself. He looked exactly like my ex, but if he was mine, shouldn’t there be hints of me stamped on him somewhere as well? In my disheveled and drained state, I didn’t see anything, which made my heart clench.

“I’m fine. I’ll remember to keep a five-foot distance next time I want to say hi.” He was joking, but his tone sounded serious. I watched as Winnie practically crumbled.

“Just call out next time.” I cleared my throat and tried to smooth things over. “If there’s a heads up, Winnie can let her security know that she knows you, and they’ll back off. You just can’t pop up out of nowhere around her. I understand that’s difficult to deal with. For her and her friends.” I bit my bottom lip when I realized I was speaking for myself as well as Rocco’s staff. Not that I could face my biggest secret resurfacing even with plenty of warning. There was never a right time to confront the past I wanted to forget.

Ky rubbed a hand over his shockingly white hair. “My bad. I’ve never had a friend who needs 24/7 security before.”

“You’re going to the park by my school? Aren’t you afraid you’ll run into those guys you beat up? I think the kids from the soccer team like to play there on the weekends.” Winnie sounded worried as she changed the subject, her gaze jumping between me and the teenage boy.

Ky smirked and boasted, “The guys on your school’s team pay me to be a ringer when they scrimmage with the other private school teams.”

Winnie’s eyes widened as she asked, “You’re that good?”

Simultaneously, I asked, “Isn’t that cheating?”

He gave us each a bland look as he dropped his skateboard back to the sidewalk. “I’m not cheating, they are. My team doesn’t need to pay for outside talent. We actually have to practice, and only get noticed and advance if we win games. No one is paying for our rank. Yes, I’m that good. If I keep my grades up, my coach thinks I’ll be recruited to play for a college team.” His expression turned wistful. “What I really want to do is play overseas. That’s a long shot, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to dream about it.”

Winnie clapped her hands together, and the sound made my head throb. She enthusiastically asked, “Where overseas? I’ve been to a bunch of places in Europe. My favorite was Spain. They have a famous soccer team, right? ”

Ky laughed, but the sound didn’t hold any humor. “It’s called football over there. Most countries in Europe have a world-famous team. I’ve always wanted to watch a game in person, but the closest I can get is watching on my phone.”

Winnie may not have noticed the slight condemnation threaded through his words, but I did. It unnerved me that Winnie had been around the world before she started kindergarten. I thought Win was spoiling her and setting unrealistic expectations. Watching someone else judge my sweet and kindhearted niece for something out of her control bothered me immensely. It wasn’t Winnie’s fault she had more than the rest of us. And it wasn’t Ky’s fault he had less.

Before I could reprimand him, he put a sneakered foot on his skateboard and pushed off, saying he was going to be late. Winnie shouted ‘goodbye’ and turned to look at me with narrowed eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest and stomped a foot, looking very much like a little kid throwing a tantrum.

“What’s really wrong with you, Aunt Channing?” She snapped the words so sharply it took me a second to respond.

“What do you mean? I told you, I’m hungover. My head is killing me.” And I cried in Win’s arms for so long I felt drained.

“That’s not it. You’re nice to everyone except Grandma Colette and Uncle Win. You’re everyone’s instant best friend. Why are you so mean to Ky? He didn’t do anything for you to treat him like he drop-kicked your puppy. Make it make sense. ”

I dragged a hand down my haggard face and motioned for her to keep walking. We still had a way to go before hitting the bookstore.

“He reminds me of someone I used to date when I was around your age. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, and it ended badly. I guess I’m transferring my emotions from those terrible memories onto Ky. I did it unconsciously.” The truth was on the tip of my tongue, but without a bottle of wine flooding my veins with courage, I couldn’t speak it.

Winnie scowled and turned around with a flounce to continue walking. “Well, he’s not that person. Next time, don’t be so rude. I always tell everyone how great you are, and how much I look up to you. Don’t make me look foolish for thinking that way.”

Her words made me emotional. I wanted to be a good example for her but never knew how. It was nice to hear I managed just by being myself all these years. I put the sunglasses back down on my face and dashed forward so I could put her in a light headlock. She struggled against the hold as I messed her hair up. “I’m sorry. I’m not at my best today. And even yesterday at the party I was thrown for a loop when my father showed up. Next time we bump into your friend, I’ll apologize for acting strange. I make a lot of mistakes, but I’m honored you look up to me, because I always looked up to your mom the most.” I sighed and rubbed my cheek against the top of Winnie’s head. “I always wonder what life would be like if she was still here to keep us all in check.”

Winnie struggled free from my strangling hold and reached up to smooth her hair flat. She gave me another one of those looks that belied her age and softly reminded me, “My mom was sick like Grandma. It was hard for her to look out for herself, let alone anyone else. It’s best if everyone keeps themselves in check because relying on another person is risky.”

I caught my niece’s hand and squeezed as the bookstore came into sight. “We all have to find someone we can rely on, Winnie. Regardless of how strong and independent we are, we need to have someone who helps us carry the weight of the world. I’ve got Salome and Roan. You’ve got me and Uncle Win, and your dad.”

Winnie stopped in front of the door. She tilted her head to the side and gave me a deeply questioning look. I could practically see the gears turning inside her pretty head. “Who does Uncle Win have? He carries more weight than anyone. Who helps him hold the world up? He’s not actually a god, even though people treat him like one. He’s just a human like the rest of us.”

I reached around her to pull the door open and whispered in her ear, “You’re trying to trick me into saying he has me, aren’t you?” I nudged her inside and nodded at the security guard, who asked if he should wait outside. I figured there wasn’t any perilous danger waiting inside a bookstore. “You’re getting cleverer as you get older, Winnie. That will serve you well in the future.”

She shrugged in acknowledgment. “Uncle Win can’t be the only one okay on his own. He needs someone to rely on, too.”

Guilt seared my frayed nerves. I wasn’t positive she was mature enough to make a dig at the way I abandoned Win in the hospital, but her words felt pointed. I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt lower on my face and relented. “I’m trying to learn how to be someone he can rely on. It’s a bigger task than I’ve ever taken on because your uncle is larger than life. But he does have me.” In more ways than one.

“For now.” Winnie taunted me mercilessly. “He has you for now.”

I groaned and ordered myself to stop arguing with a teenager while I was miserable and hungover. “Yes. He has me for now, but he has you forever . And you’re already far more reliable than I have ever been. So, stop making him worry about every little thing. He needs you.”

She gave me a final look before disappearing into an aisle filled with brightly colored fantasy novels. “He needs us, Aunt Channing. You and I are all he has.”

He also had billions and billions of dollars. And since he was willing to give up the money and not me, it showed which he valued more.