The Sound of Secrets (The Monsters Duet #2)

Chapter 12

Channing

“Winnnnn…” I moaned the man’s name as I reached out to slap a palm on the tinted window in the back of the limousine where I was currently getting my brains fucked out. I should’ve been suspicious when he picked me up from work in the ostentatious vehicle. Win innocently claimed the bulletproof SUV needed work done when he offered the ride. I unsuspectingly climbed in; the night I told him I would never fuck him in the back of a limo, a distant memory. Win held a grudge and was intent on making me eat my words, as well as his dick, as the elegant car carried our very inelegant bodies across town toward the brownstone.

I don’t know when I got so easy where this man was concerned, but it hardly took any effort or seduction on his part for me to climb on his lap and start losing clothes. Not just in the limo. I stopped hesitating when it came to being intimate with Win, regardless of the time or place. I felt like I could hear the ticking of the grandfather clock from my old job counting down the minutes he and I had together. Whatever time we had left, I wanted to make the most of it. Even if that meant shoving a fist in my mouth and biting down on my hand so the obscene sounds trying to escape my throat didn’t make it to the driver. Thank goodness Rocco was nowhere to be found. I wouldn’t be able to meet his all-knowing gaze if he were the one behind the heavy partition.

Win chuckled and dug his fingers deeper into my hips. He was moving behind me, and within me, in a measured and steady way. Typically, when we had sex, it felt slightly unhinged, like both of us were racing to the end before we got caught doing something we weren’t supposed to be doing. Today, with the city and many witnesses zipping by, he was taking his damn time making sure I felt the drag of every stroke against all the sensitive spots inside of me.

“I told you.” He pressed forward harder, and a gasp slipped past my teeth. “No one can see or hear anything going on back here.” He stilled and his voice dropped to a deeper tone. “Do you like the idea of someone knowing what we’re up to? You’re pretty wet for someone worried about getting caught.”

I pulled my hand out of my mouth and panted in time with his slow thrusts. “You should be the one who’s worried. You’re the one who has a spotless reputation. You’re the one who will end up in the society pages.” I moaned when I felt the bite of his teeth on the back of my neck. He was breathing hard, and a drop of sweat dripped from his face and hit my back. When we fucked might be the only time Win worked up a sweat. I secretly enjoyed knowing that he worked hard to please me .

“We’re married. You’re my wife. The fact that I enjoy fucking you whenever the mood hits will only enhance my reputation. It’ll make anyone who reads that sort of gossip envious that my life isn’t miserable because I actually like the woman I chose to spend my life with.”

His big, scarred hand covered mine on the window as he leaned over me. The tip of his silk tie slithered over my bare back. The slippery sensation sent chills racing across my skin. I wasn’t sure how I ended up mostly naked while Win was still fully covered, but the brush of his expensive suit against my heated skin felt sexy and turned me on even more than hearing him say he liked me. I blocked out any words that hinted at a future together because they made me feel like I was reading too much into Win’s feelings for me. He spoke like a man in love, but I doubted Win realized the underlying meaning.

The hand that he wasn’t using to brace himself curled under my chin and turned my head to the side to kiss me. We were both panting and making breathless sounds that would be embarrassing if they escaped the little bubble of privacy the darkened interior of the limo offered.

Win’s fingers dug into my jaw as his pace picked up. I moaned his name again and closed my eyes as he started to thrust with purpose. Our skin slapped together as our tongues tangled and fought for dominance. My heart was beating so fast I thought I might pass out if I didn’t come in the next few seconds. Was it possible to die from pleasure? If so, my life was flashing before my eyes. It was hard to remember my litany of regrets when every inch of my body felt better than it ever had before. And if I was pressed, I would reluctantly admit the rest of me felt pretty fucking fantastic as well. There wasn’t any part of me Win Halliday hadn’t had his hands on. My heart. My mind. My memories. All of them were eased by his presence and persistence. He forced me to see myself in a brighter, more vibrant light. There was a brilliance inside of me that came alive under Win’s care.

The hand holding my face drifted to my throat and held it in a light hold. Our lips clung together as he whispered that he was going to come. I pushed back against him and chanted his name when I felt his hips flex and his heat spread throughout my body. When his cock kicked and throbbed with release, my inner walls clenched with excitement. He sighed when his cheek rested alongside mine. Since I hadn’t come yet, he grasped one of my hands and guided it between my legs.

He held my wrist in place as he growled dirty orders in my ear.

“Stroke your clit. Softer. Use the cum I left inside of you to make it wet.”

I shifted my fingers as he instructed and let my eyes flutter closed as my orgasm crept along my spine and through my nerve endings.

“Ride my fingers.” He hooked his long fingers inside my damp opening and pressed upward so his palm held my fingers trapped against my pulsing clit. I moved my hips in time to his harsh breaths. My fingers resting on the tinted window scratched on the smooth surface as I tried to find something to lock me into reality. Everything about this moment was so surreal. It nearly felt like an out-of-body experience. I was not the woman who fucked a billionaire in the back of a limo. I was not the woman who fucked a billionaire — anywhere. I dated losers and planned on having an unremarkable love life until the one magically made an appearance. It was terrifying that the longer I spent entangled with Win, the more he felt like he was the answer to a question I never asked. How could the wrong man feel so perfectly right?

When I came apart, I soaked our fingers and collapsed in a lifeless heap across the leather seats. Win laughed at my debauched state, but was enough of a gentleman to help me clean up and climb back into my forgotten clothes as I caught my breath. I lifted my eyebrows at him and searched around for my phone, which got tossed somewhere the moment he pounced on me. “I never pegged you for a car-sex type of man.”

I was teasing him, but Win’s reply was stony and serious. “I’m not. I’m a have-sex-with-Channing-anywhere-and-everywhere type of man.”

Startled, I turned my head to look at him. “You’ve learned how to say what a woman wants to hear in the short time we’ve been together. It used to be every word out of your mouth made me want to fight. It’s a vast improvement.” Now, when he was sweet and responsive, his words tempted me to fall head over heels.

He snorted and reached out to smooth down my hair, which was sticking up like a rooster’s comb. “I’m only interested in what you want to hear.”

I was about to deflect and change the subject when my phone vibrated in my hand. The ringer must’ve bumped to silent in the shuffle and shift of bodies and clothing. I frowned when I noticed I had several missed calls from my mother’s care facility.

I showed Win the screen as I took the call. He guided me onto the leather seat and handed me a bottle of water. His eyes never left mine when I asked with concern, “This is Channing Harvey. Is everything all right?”

A female voice responded. “Ms. Harvey, we’ve been trying to reach you. We have a bit of a situation with your mother. She’s demanding to speak with you. We’re hoping you’re available to help mitigate the situation. If not, we may need to medicate her for her safety.”

I held the phone away from my ear and told Win I needed to get to the facility ASAP. He lowered the privacy screen in the car and had the driver change direction. He also started tapping out orders on his phone.

“I’ll be there in forty minutes. Can you give me an idea as to what set her off? She’s been doing really well as of late.” The facility was located near Halliday Cove, between my hometown and the city. I always wanted to move her closer, but my mom swore she couldn’t sleep unless she could hear the sea. My mother hadn’t had any significant episodes after my sister’s death. Something seemed to break inside of her after Willow passed away. She could no longer distinguish between fact and fiction, and often mistook me for my sister. She waffled between lucidity and lunacy, so there was no other option than long-term care. Recently, she’d made vast improvements since Winnie was allowed to visit her. It seemed to do wonders, seeing her granddaughter living well. My heart shattered at the thought of going back to square one .

“She wants you to take her to your older sister’s resting place. She keeps insisting someone stole your sister’s body. She’s very upset and has the delusion that your sister’s eternal rest has been upset, and now her soul is wandering the world lost and alone. She is inconsolable. Our staff had to put her on a suicide watch. She’s threatened to harm herself and others.”

I audibly gulped and looked at Win with wide eyes. “Has anyone attempted to visit her recently?”

“No. We have her visitation requirements set to the highest level, and our staff has to get approval from the director before letting anyone speak to her.”

Win was the director. If my father tried to see her, he would be the first to know. He shook his head helplessly.

I quietly asked him, “Do you think Archie accidentally let it slip about Willow’s ashes?”

“No. He wouldn’t do that. Besides, he’s at physical therapy today, and he had a meeting with a speech therapist. The reason I had the limo today is because Rocco is taking care of my brother for me.” He made a gimme gesture with his hand. I gave him the phone and wrung my hands together anxiously. Without mentioning who he was, or why he mattered, he started barking instructions like the bossy CEO he was. “I need you to send me the security footage from today. Get someone to search Mrs. Harvey’s room. And I want a list of every person in that building she had contact with over the last three days. If her doctors didn’t see this episode coming, then something caused it. I’m expecting a reason for this setback by the time I arrive. You have thirty minutes.” He hung up the call and pulled me into a side hug as I tried not to imagine the worst case scenario. “She’ll be fine. She has the very best care available. You don’t have to reach in and pull her out of this state with your bare hands like you did in the past. There’s an entire team who has your back and your mother’s best interests in mind this go-around. I won’t let anything happen to her. To either of you.”

I clutched his hand in mine, stroking the rough and ruined skin absently. “It’s my father. It has to be. Right?” I couldn’t think of anyone else who would benefit from upsetting my mother. He knew hurting her was a sure-fire way to cut me to the bone. “Only immediate family has access to the mausoleum where Willow’s remains were. It’s not like anyone off the street could walk in and discover her ashes are no longer there. He’s not going to stop until he pushes me to do something rash.”

Win grunted and tightened his hold. “He’s more slippery than I thought. I might have underestimated him.”

As the luxury ride drove out of the city, Win’s phone pinged with a message. He scowled as he told me the medical staff found a cell phone that didn’t belong to my mother in her room. On it, there were pictures of the empty urn at the mausoleum, and messages from an unknown number, telling her I’d secretly moved Willow’s remains. There were taunts about me locking my mom away so I didn’t have to deal with her. Ugly words saying I was embarrassed by her and ashamed of her illness. There was a picture of my marriage license and a barrage of questions asking if she knew I’d gotten married. All the messages were hateful and spiteful. Any part of it was enough to send someone battling schizophrenia into a dissociative state. All of it combined was inflammatory enough to send my mother down a mental spiral she couldn’t control.

“Where did she get that phone?” My father was persona non grata. Anyone who allowed him access to his wife did so at the risk of their job. Win tightened security around the facility to the point I even needed the proper clearance if I went to visit.

Win tilted his head so it rested against mine. “I don’t know. But I’ll figure it out and make sure it never happens again.”

We spent the rest of the ride in a tense silence. When we reached the facility, I was immediately swept away by a doctor, while Win demanded to talk to the head of security and the facility manager.

The room they had my mom in was completely empty except for a bed that sat on a cardboard frame. She was dressed in a white sweatsuit, and had on a pair of white flip-flops. I understood she was somewhere she couldn’t harm herself or others, but it hurt to see her isolated and locked away like a threat.

My mom’s hair was darker red than mine. A lot of the color had turned stark white. The swirl of colors was striking, and along with her honey-colored eyes, she was a stunningly beautiful woman. I often thought my father refused to divorce her because he didn’t want anyone else to have her. Georgie Harvey was one of a kind in all the best and worst ways .

The doctors didn’t want me to go in the room, but I insisted. It wasn’t until she agreed to speak with me that they relented and allowed me to see her. They warned me her emotional state was volatile and that she’d gotten violent. However, I grew up with my mother’s mood fluctuations and outbursts. I believed I was better prepared for her in this state than anyone else.

My mother sat in the middle of the floor with her arms wrapped around her drawn-up knees. Her eyes were furious as they locked onto me. I sat down across from her and noticed she had angry red marks along both sides of her neck and both of her wrists were bruised. I wasn’t sure if she inflicted the wounds on herself, or if they came from the staff struggling to keep her safe from herself. Either way, the sight broke my heart.

“Do you recognize me, Mom?”

Her tawny eyes struggled to place me, and once they did, there was no disguising how angry she was. “Bring your sister home. Bring my baby back to me.”

I sighed as I struggled to keep my tone and gestures placating. I had to let her target her emotions at me. After all, I did move Willow behind her back. It was a sneaky and selfish move, even though it was the right choice to make. “I was wrong. I should’ve told you I wanted to move Willow’s ashes. I’m sorry.” I avoided conflict to prevent this very scenario from happening.

“I hate you, Winnie.” Her words were coated in frost.

I patted my chest and sighed. “I’m Channing. Winnie is still a teenager, remember? She saw you two weeks ago. You sang together and made cookies when she visited. You don’t hate her.”

“I hate all of you. I hate everyone who hurts my baby. How dare they take my child away from me? Now she’s alone. How am I supposed to find her? Who’s going to take care of her? You’re all against me. You just want to hurt me and my daughter.” Her voice got shrill and made my ears and heart ache. The entire conversation was reminiscent of the one we had before she was committed and put under permanent care.

“I’m your daughter, too. And Winnie is Willow’s daughter. No one wants to hurt any of us. I moved Willow somewhere I thought she would like better. But I should’ve spoken with you first. You’re her mom. Of course you should have a say.”

“And your father. How is your dad going to see Willow?”

I stiffened and felt the forced smile on my face freeze. “Why do you think Dad wants to see her? He didn’t even come to her funeral.”

“All fathers love their little girls the most. Of course he wants to see her. You ruined everything.”

I clenched my hands into fists at my sides and bit back the retort that was on the tip of my tongue. “Fine. I ruined everything. What’s done is done, Mom. Hurting yourself won’t solve anything. If you don’t calm down, the staff are going to sedate you. If that happens, Winnie won’t be able to visit you, and you won’t be allowed to spend time with Archie. If Win doesn’t trust you around his family, there isn’t anything anyone can do to change his mind. You’ll have to prove yourself to him and that’s going to take a long, long time.”

The gold glint in her gaze flashed with a moment of understanding. “Did you get married, Channing? Tell me you did not marry into that family that murdered your sister.”

Trying to have a coherent conversation with her was impossible. Normally, I could skip around and follow where she led, but I was exhausted. And sad. I hated seeing her confused and detached from reality like this.

“I married Win, Archie’s older brother. It’s not the whole family who turned out bad, just certain members. The Halliday boys are miraculously amazing.”

“How could you get married without your mother? And your sister. Willow will be heartbroken when she finds out. Don’t you care about us at all?”

The question was particularly painful because I’d been married three times and my family hadn’t been present for any of them. I was always left alone to face the future.

I opened my mouth to apologize once again when she suddenly lunged at me. She screamed my sister’s name and chanted how much she hated me. I caught her hands as they reached for my throat and didn’t argue with the medical staff who rushed in to subdue her. I wanted to plead with them not to sedate her, but Win’s arrival took the opportunity out of my hands. As an outside observer, he could tell there was no talking her down and reasoning with her in such a state.

I stayed in the room and held her hand as the medicine slowly took effect. Once her eyes closed, and her breathing returned to normal, Win practically dragged me out of the room. I felt like I was going to burst into tears, but before the waterworks started, he shoved his phone into my face and showed me a picture of a pretty blonde woman dressed the same as the medical staff.

“Goldie. This is the woman I fired for letting Winnie slip out from under her. She told the security staff she was transferred here from Rocco’s team. Since they all knew her, they didn’t question it. She’s the one who gave the phone to your mom. Rocco’s tracking her down as we speak.”

I shook my head in shock. “How did my father find the woman you fired?” My mind was spinning, trying to see all the strings that connected everyone.

Win sighed and tucked his phone back into his suit pocket. “The only person who connects Goldie to your dad is Ky Kent. The kid is in this mess deeper than I thought.”

I felt the first tear fall as I told him, “But the only way Ky could know about the empty mausoleum is if Winnie told him. And if she told him, she trusts him more than either of us realized.”

Which meant my secrets had to come to light sooner rather than later. It was like they were screaming at me, refusing to be ignored.

***

I didn’t want to tell Winnie about my past at the brownstone. It felt like reliving my worst moments would sully the place she finally felt at home. The conversation was too serious and sensitive to have in public. I kept the truth from people I trusted for years. I wasn’t about to let nameless strangers be privy to my inner anguish. I could’ve taken her to one of the Halliday Inc. offices or Alistair’s building. But she was only a fourteen-year-old girl. The corporate setting didn’t feel right either. Eventually, I settled on asking Win to drop us off at his high-rise apartment after collecting Winnie from school. It was familiar enough to offer some comfort, but still bland enough to fit the adult nature of what my niece needed to know.

Win dropped us off with a worried look and bags full of takeout. He did a good job of keeping his cool while the teenager peppered us with questions. There was no disguising that both Win and I were on edge. Telling Winnie that we needed to talk only heightened her curiosity. If I wasn’t reeling from my mother trying to strangle me and the simmering rage at my father’s insidious behavior, I probably would’ve spilled my guts on the car ride to the apartment. I had a touch of PTSD when it came to facing physical violence from a loved one. I thought I’d dealt with my history of domestic violence and had healed the wounds from when I was younger. The wounds were deeper than I thought, if my mother’s uncontrollable actions were enough to bring all that pain back to the surface. I was silently beating myself up over the sloppy way I handled the situation with Willow’s remains. I should’ve replaced her ashes with fake ones from a fireplace. I knew better than to leave an opening my father would exploit .

Especially considering that Win had more money than all of Hollywood combined, and my father would use my smallest mistake to his advantage to get his hands on any fraction of that fortune.

As long as I was married to him, there was no scenario in which my father didn’t try to get his hands on as much of it as possible. Of course his greed would be the one thing strong enough to get him to visit the daughter he hadn’t acknowledged since she died.

If the circumstances were different, it would’ve felt like Winnie and I were having a very expensive slumber party. Win asked if I wanted him to stay. I told him no. I figured both of us didn’t need to relive my tragic past. He left after instructing his private security and the building security not to let a single soul anywhere near the penthouse. He was always paranoid about safety, but after being betrayed by someone close to him, and having former employees infiltrate his security measures, he was even more alert.

Winnie didn’t bother pretending like she didn’t know something was wrong. She pushed the takeout to the side and took a seat at the marble island that separated the kitchen from the large, open dining space. The penthouse was surrounded by windows. When you glanced out of them, it made you feel like you were sitting on top of the world. Like you were a god, floating above the mere mortals below. Every problem and concern you might have felt insignificant when you were up this high and removed from the everyday down below.

“What’s going on, Aunt Channing? You hate this apartment. You refused to stay here when Uncle Win was in the hospital. ”

I leaned on the opposite side of the island. If I were about to have this conversation with an adult, I’d do it with a glass of whiskey in hand.

“I needed somewhere quiet where I won’t get distracted so I can have a conversation with you. This place is like a museum. I can stay focused and say what I have to say.” My tone was the most serious it’d ever been when speaking to her. For the first time in our relationship, I was forced to be a stern adult instead of her quirky bestie. I braced my hands on the edge of the counter and leaned forward. “Did you tell Ky about the trip to Italy? Does he know what happened to your mom’s ashes?” My fingernails scratched across the marble, and my knuckles turned white. “It was supposed to be a family secret, because if your grandmother found out, she would be very upset with me, even if what happened was in your mom’s best interest.”

Winnie sat up straight and blinked her eyes at me in obvious surprise. “I didn’t tell him. I haven’t seen him since we bumped into him at the bookstore.” Her gaze, which was so like Willow’s, sharpened. “Why are you always asking me about Ky? It’s getting weird.”

I watched her closely for any signs of deception. “Someone told your grandfather that I moved your mom. And he found a way to tell your grandma. Uncle Win and I spent the afternoon at the care facility. Mom had to be sedated. She hurt herself.” My voice caught and my eyes dropped to the red scratch marks on my arms. “It was a nasty scene.”

Winnie’s eyes followed mine. She frowned and leaned toward me with her elbows on the counter. “I didn’t tell anyone. I swear.” She was adamant. “I’m a Halliday. I know when something has to stay inside the family.”

I cleared my throat and continued to watch her. “Your grandfather linked up with that security woman you liked who got fired. Goldie. She was his messenger. I know you wouldn’t talk to your grandfather without letting me know, so the only other person who could be the go-between is Ky.”

Winnie scowled. “But then Ky would have to know my grandfather. Why would he know him when I’ve never even spoken to the man?”

My hands curled into fists and all the blood in my body rushed to my head. I felt as if I might faint for a second. I forced myself to collect my wildly churning emotions and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. My hands were shaking, and I swore my heart was going to pound out of my chest. “Your grandfather approached Ky because there is a possibility that he’s his grandson. He might be — my son.”

“What?!” Winnie’s chair scraped across the wood flooring and tumbled to the ground. The teenager faced off against me, her position on the opposite side of the island mirroring mine. “How can he be your son? He’s older than me.”

My niece’s voice was shrill. The expression of disbelief on her face was a mirror image of Win’s.

I gulped. I was used to disappointing people, but this was the first time I’d ever been the cause of dismay in Winnie’s eyes. The teenager was doing her best to grapple with the tremendous revelation, but I could see her uncontrolled emotions peeking through the cracks.

“When I was just a little older than you, I met a very dangerous man. While your mom and dad were falling in love, I was making terrible choices and being led down a dangerous path. I was too young to take care of myself. And my family was too messed up for anyone else to care about what I was doing. I got married and had a baby while your mom and dad were on the run from Colette. No one knows what happened other than my father. The baby’s father brought him into the situation when things took a turn for the worse. I nearly died the night I gave birth. The baby was given up for adoption against my will.” I don’t know when I started crying, but tears were dripping off my chin and plopping on the back of my ice-cold hands. “It’s possible Ky is the baby that was taken away from me. He looks eerily similar to my ex-husband. Uncle Win is doing what he can to find out for sure, but Ky isn’t very willing to cooperate. He doesn’t want to upset his mom. If I noticed how much Ky resembles my ex, so did your grandfather. He wants to use what happened in the past to manipulate me into getting him money. He’s threatening to spread gossip from the past to ruin my image and drag your uncle down with me. And he’s already approached Ky and told him horrific things about me. That’s why he won’t agree to a DNA test. If he is the baby who was stolen from me, he hates me. And if he isn’t, we’ve disrupted his life so unfairly. It’s no wonder he wants nothing to do with me.” I sniffled and used my sleeve to dry my cheeks. “The reason I keep warning you not to get too close to him is because he might be your cousin. The situation is complicated. We didn’t want to involve you until we knew for sure what we’re dealing with.”

Winnie shoved her hands in her hair and tugged on the strands in frustration. “I don’t know what to say. This is too much. Even for our family.” She gave me a confused look. “Why haven’t I heard any of this before? I never knew your first marriage was so bad.”

“I don’t want to talk about things that hurt. You already had to shoulder a huge loss at such a young age. You’ve carried expectations far heavier than you deserve. My role is to support you, not the other way around. I never wanted to burden you with things that have nothing to do with you. Some secrets are better left unshared unless there is no other option.”

Winnie frowned, and it was her turn to scratch her fingers over the marble in frustration. “But I tell you everything. I never keep secrets from you, Aunt Channing. I trust you.”

My heart throbbed painfully. “I trust you too, Winnie, but you’re still young. There are things in life I want to protect you from until you’re old enough to have a wider world view. And there are some things I hope I can protect you from forever.” I sighed and stepped around the island so I could pull her stiff body into a hug. “I’ll never let you end up in a situation like that. Not that you would. You understand how dangerous it can be to fall in love.”

Winnie hugged me back and I could feel her arms tremble. “I also know how wonderful it can be. Without my grandmother’s interference, my parents would’ve been happy together forever. My dad is still desperately in love with my mom.” She patted my back softly and pulled away to look at me with eyes far more serious than her age allowed. “And I see the way Uncle Win loves you.” I opened my mouth to argue, but she shook her head to silence me. “If you weren’t so afraid, you would see it too.”

I was afraid. Of so many things. But I never thought love was one of them.

Looking back at the last several years of my dating history, and the losers and scumbags I often shared a bed with after my split from Roan, it was clear as day I was never at risk of handing my heart to any of them. They were awful choices as partners, but they were all safe. When they hurt me, because they all did in one way or another, it was never devastating. I moved from one shallow relationship to the next without feeling like I lost anything other than time.

That wasn’t the case with Win.

When things inevitably crashed and burned because we were not evenly matched, I worried I might die in the wreckage. Win might hurt me worse than anybody else. He was head and shoulders above all the other men I dated, including the one who saved me from my first marriage. I loved Roan in an effortless and thoughtless way. My feelings for Win took every ounce of concentration I had. I forced myself to keep control of every emotion where he was concerned so my heart didn’t run away with him and leave the rest of me behind. And now that my body was onboard the Win-is-the-best train, the only holdout was my brain. It wouldn’t shut up about our differences and the gap between us that felt insurmountable.

“Your uncle and I have a complicated relationship.”

Winnie broke free from the hug and rolled her eyes. I could tell she was getting irritated and the sympathy I’d won had dwindled. “You always say that. It’s complicated . I think you make things that way. If you told me forever ago that you might have a son, and I possibly have a cousin somewhere out there, I wouldn’t let just any random boy approach me. Forewarned is forearmed. That being said,” she rapped her knuckles on the countertop, “I don’t think Ky approached me with ulterior motives. I don’t think he knew who I was when he saved me, even if he knows now. He did it because he’s kind.”

She brought the conversation back around to where we started. “You have too much faith in someone you don’t know. Which is why I think he’s the person responsible for telling your grandfather about your mom’s ashes.”

Winnie gritted her teeth and stomped her foot. It was the first time during this conversation she showed her age. “I told you already, I didn’t tell him about my mom. I would never.”

She was adamant. I wanted to believe her. Neither Win nor I could connect the dots from Ky, to Goldie, to my mother, without Winnie as the starting point. She never lied to me before. It was frustrating reaching a stalemate and not getting any closer to the truth. It was the first time Winnie and I had been at odds.

I felt frustration and other negative emotions start to percolate under the surface of my skin. It’d been a long day full of extremes. I was holding myself together by nothing more than sheer grit and the long habit of pretending everything was fine. I was a breath away from breaking down under the weight of everything I repressed. The red marks on my skin seemed to mock me. I was under attack from all sides and had no way to fight back without harming someone I loved.

“Winnie. Be careful. Don’t trust Ky and don’t take the threat your grandfather poses lightly. He went out of his way to purposely hurt your grandma. You’ve seen what she’s like when you visit her. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

She snorted and looked at me through narrowed eyes. Never had she seemed more like a petulant teenager than at this moment. “But I should trust you, even though you don’t tell me everything for my own good. You aspire to be there for me through thick and thin but won’t allow me to do the same. Seems a little hypocritical, Aunt Channing.”

“I’m the adult.” My words were sharp, and it was obvious I was at the end of my emotional rope. I knew talking to her about the past wasn’t going to be simple. However, I didn’t anticipate her anger. My secret kept stabbing me in the heart when I least expected it.

“Then you should act like the adult.” Winnie crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. “Adults don’t run from their problems the way you do. They don’t play with other people’s feelings the way you do. They don’t leave when other people need them. And they don’t pretend like bad things never happen because it’s easier than fixing whatever went wrong. That’s the truth, Aunt Channing.”

“Winnie!” I snapped her name as the sting of her words buzzed across my skin. I’d had enough attacks from loved ones for the day. “That’s enough.”

She shook her head and reached for her discarded backpack on the floor. “I’m sorry you were hurt in the past. No one should have to face what you did. Life has really been unfair toward you and my mom. But that doesn’t mean everyone is going to treat you so poorly. You don’t trust me. And you don’t trust Uncle Win.” She clasped her cell phone in her hand and made a call. I heard Rocco’s voice over the speaker. Winnie told him she wanted to go back to the brownstone, and he readily agreed to take her. When he asked if I was coming as well, Winnie told him ‘no’, not giving me a choice to ride with her or not.

Honestly, I needed the time alone in the silent, empty apartment.

My mind was reeling.

Dealing with other’s responses to the injustices I’d learned to bury was exhausting. Win’s sympathy and fury on my behalf was a lot. Winnie’s anger felt like even more. And her accusations about my faith in her and Win were more overwhelming than my mother’s imagined hatred. I never considered that holding onto my secrets from others was distrustful, so maybe Winnie was right. I didn’t have unwavering faith in the people I was closest to. The only reason Salome and Roan knew what happened to me when I was young was because they lived through the nightmare alongside me. The experience brought us closer together and created bonds that would never be broken.

I lost track of time trying to sift through all the difficulties of the day. My reverie wasn’t broken until I got a call from Salome. Before I could get out a raspy ‘hello’, she informed me she was on her way to the apartment with wine and cake.

Win had called her and asked her to ride to the rescue. So she dropped everything and rushed over.

That man really knew what I needed in a crisis.

My trust seemed like it was the least I could give him in return.