The Sound of Us

Chapter Forty-One. “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond

DANTE

I found the envelope on my desk two months into my tenure as station manager. No stamp. No postmark. Just my name in Noah’s familiar scrawl. For the briefest moment, I wished I had accepted the university’s offer to install cameras when I finally got them to do the basement upgrades. But Noah would never have wanted cameras, and Siobhan and I were trying to run the station in a way that would honor his legacy—open and honest and free.

At first, I couldn’t bring myself to open it. I didn’t want to know if Noah was finally gone. I liked the idea of him out in the world, playing in dive bars or busking on street corners, on his quest to find Caroline. It had made the grief bearable, the days of carefully packing up Noah’s treasured albums a chance to relive memories instead of dwell on the pain of loss.

I finally gave in after I finished my show. Dante’s Darkness was now the number one late-night show in Chicago and there were talks of syndication. I’d even received an offer to DJ at one of the top radio stations in the city, but I was committed to developing my career playing bass, and if I was going to do any radio, WJPK would always be my home.

I poured myself a drink and sat in Noah’s office, bracing myself for bad news as I sliced open the envelope.

Dear Dante,

I am not dead. I wanted to write that on the front of the envelope because I knew that’s what you’d think when you received it, but I couldn’t take the risk that someone else might see it and spread the good news. I don’t know how long I have left but I’m making the most of each and every day. I’ve been traveling around the country saying goodbye to all the people who made a difference in my life. It’s how I started my musical journey and I can’t think of a better way for it to end.

But I couldn’t say goodbye to you.

You weren’t just a friend to me; you were my son in every sense of that word, and the day you came into my life was the day I started living again. You said I saved you, but you saved me. You gave me a purpose. You showed me that the past did not define me, and when I saw you with Skye, you made me believe in love again. You made me want to find my Caroline and tell her what I should have told her all those years ago.

And I will find her. I know it in my bones.

Since these are my last words to you, I have to make a confession. From the moment I met Skye, I knew she was the one for you. She spoke our language. She shared our passion for music. She was fierce, brave, compassionate, and determined and I knew that if anyone could drag you out of the darkness, it was her. I knew I had to do everything I could to keep her in your life. She may not have been the best candidate, but as I told her, she was the right candidate, and she proved herself to be that and much more over and over again.

Hold Skye tight. Love her with all your heart. Nothing is more important than the people we care about. Not even Bob Dylan’s Highway 61 Revisited , which is probably the greatest album ever made.

Before I left, I asked my lawyer to transfer the house and everything I own into your name. My family disowned me a long time ago and Bella has always understood how I felt about you. I hope one day you can do what I couldn’t—fill those rooms with laughter, music, joy, and life.

When you think of me—and you’d better think of me—imagine me forever on the road. I’ll be in the roughest dive bars and on the grittiest street corners. I’ll be playing my guitar until my fingers bleed and kissing my Caroline until I can’t breathe. And I’ll be there for every gig you play, if not in body, then in spirit. Look for me in the audience. I’ll be the one shouting “That’s my boy!”

You have my music so you will always have me. Put on my favorite records and listen to my songs. I am always in your heart. And remember, no matter how hard life gets, you just have to rock on.