The Stars Over Bittergate Bay

Chapter 19

19

J onas panted, staring down in awe at the man beneath him. Stretched over Sidney, Jonas could feel the slick heat of their bodies with every rise and fall of Sidney’s still heaving breaths. Jonas was no better, but he couldn’t stop watching Sidney, his body arched up against Jonas, eyes closed, clearly waiting for another kiss. Jonas couldn’t stop himself from dropping down to Sidney’s lips, relishing the plush, delicious taste of Sidney’s mouth.

Jonas hadn’t known. Jonas hadn’t known how he needed Sidney until he was having him. And he couldn’t stop himself now, even though things had almost gone wrong in the worst possible way.

If Jonas marked Sidney, if they committed an ‘exchange of component fluid,’ maybe Sidney wouldn’t notice. Jonas hadn’t exactly been making lots of deals and what little magic he had was nowhere near as strong as it used to be. Even his glamour had felt thin as of late. Maybe he couldn’t leave marks anymore. He hadn’t been having sex, and there wasn’t any other way to test it out.

But none of that was the point. It wouldn’t be honest. That was the point.

And if Sidney got marked and did notice, he’d have questions. And Jonas’s only available answer was that he was a demon, and that would change things. It always did. After what happened with Edmund, Jonas wore mistrust more easily than any glamour. He wasn’t ready for questions. Not yet.

Sidney wriggled an arm free and slid it up over Jonas’s broad shoulders. The touch was gentle, Sidney’s brown eyes were droopy and soft, and the feeling of their bodies together, the satisfied look on Sidney’s face, made Jonas all but forget the bolt of fear that had pierced his chest when he saw Sidney drag his cum-covered fingers to his lips. All Jonas wanted was to admire Sidney in the afterglow. Which was a bad sign, and likely meant Jonas was fucked as far as not having feelings for Sidney was concerned. No humans. He did know better. He really did.

“Are you alright?” Jonas asked. His voice was rougher than he’d expected. And more sincere. Damn. Sidney smiled so handsomely, and Jonas ducked his head, kissing Sidney’s neck to hide his blush.

“I’m amazing. Although—” Sidney adjusted his hips, and Jonas eased back slightly, giving him space to make himself comfortable. After a moment, Sidney sank back into the pillows with a contented sigh. His hair spread out on the pillow, his body relaxed. Was this the first time Jonas had seen him relaxed? He was beautiful. And Jonas couldn’t stop himself from thinking it. “Are you alright?”

“You look so good in my bed,” Jonas said because apparently he couldn’t be trusted to filter his thoughts before they emerged from his mouth. He had fully lost control. Sidney was grinning, though, so Jonas tried not to care about the flush staining his cheeks and laid down next to Sidney on the bed.

In the silence, Jonas’s mind began to race. Now was the time to speak up. Tell Sidney the truth about who and what he was. Or perhaps this would be the worst time. ‘Maybe I should have mentioned this before I came on you, but I’m a demon. Hope that’s alright.’ It didn’t sound good. And it wouldn’t do anything to mitigate the larger problem.

The larger problem was still that humans always wanted things from demons. They wanted boons: magic and talent and power. And for years Jonas had not looked like himself when there were humans around because he wasn’t interested in making any deals anymore, or in anything else to do with humans either.

But things with Sidney had escalated so quickly, so dramatically, Jonas hadn’t thought about what he was going to do with Sidney until it was already happening. Part of that was because Sidney was not inclined to act in the ways the Jonas had determined humans normally acted. Sidney wasn’t supposed to be hanging around. He was supposed leave on the Ascension. So none of Jonas’s secrets really mattered.

Maybe this was going to be a one-time encounter. They’d both wanted it. There had been something simmering between them, but this would quench it. Sidney would be gone in a few days and it would all be over. Jonas’s chest tightened uncomfortably at the idea.

In an attempt to ignore that discomfort and what it might mean, Jonas moved closer to Sidney on the blankets. Sidney hummed contentedly, eyes still closed, and Jonas tried to hate himself for giving in to the urge to be near Sidney. But it felt right to lay with Sidney. To press his mouth against Sidney’s shoulder. Sidney curled onto his side and tipped Jonas’s chin up so they could kiss. The soft brush of lips shouldn’t have left Jonas aching so badly for more tenderness.

“I’m starving,” Sidney murmured.

“You know where the kitchen is,” Jonas replied. Of course, Sidney could have asked for any food in the world and Jonas would have found a way to get it. But Sidney didn’t have to know that. Sidney snorted.

“You’re a terrible host.”

“I think we’ve moved well beyond the ‘host and guest’ portion of our acquaintance,” Jonas said. Then he kissed the flushed skin above Sidney’s collar bone, when he should have stopped kissing him altogether.

“I want to sleep and I want to eat.” Sidney carded his hand through the back of Jonas’s hair and Jonas leaned into the scratch of Sidney’s blunt fingernails. His lack of self-control was appalling. “I don’t know which I want to do first.”

Sleep would be good. Exhaustion was beginning to tug at Jonas’s limbs. And maybe when he woke up his head would be clearer. The post-sex haze would be gone, and he’d know what to do about Sidney, and about his own secrets.

“Stay here,” Jonas said. Sidney glanced at him and Jonas allowed himself one more kiss, before rolling out of bed. He went to the bathroom and cleaned himself up before bringing out a washcloth for Sidney, and in those few brief minutes, Sidney had fallen asleep.

Jonas didn’t stand at his bedside and look down at Sidney breathing peacefully. Jonas’s grip on the washcloth didn’t tighten; Jonas’s chest didn’t ache with the desire to have Sidney beneath him again. Jonas didn’t clean Sidney gently, and then crawl back into bed beside him so carefully that Sidney never stirred. No. None of that happened.

At least, not that anyone other than Jonas ever knew.