The Stars Over Bittergate Bay

Chapter 48

48

T hankfully, Jonas was large enough that it was hard for him to disappear into the misty fog. Sidney made up the distance easily, watch clenched in his fist.

“Jonas!”

Jonas jerked to a halt the moment Sidney called out to him. He glanced over his shoulder and then turned slowly, frowning. Sidney stopped in front of him, limbs rubbery, ribs aching.

“I thought you’d gone,” Sidney panted. Jonas’s gaze dropped, like he couldn’t bear to look at Sidney.

“I was. I am. Leaving.”

“We went to the marina and your boat wasn’t in the slip. I thought I’d missed you.”

“The refueling dock is on the other side of the inlet,” Jonas said, glancing off in the direction of the shipyard and gesturing northward. “It’s not a far walk.”

“Are you—Delilah said you’re—” Damn. He wasn’t supposed to say that Delilah had told him. Jonas grimaced, but he didn’t speak. “I’m so sorry about the house.”

Jonas barely nodded, and still didn’t respond. Perhaps it hurt too much to talk about.

“Where are you going to go?” Sidney asked. Rubbing it in. Stupid. Jonas rolled his bottom lip between his teeth. Two fangs, small points, dug into his skin. He took a deep breath.

“I left your watch in the office,” Jonas said. Sidney blinked.

“What?”

“And you can take whatever you like from the house. Wherever I end up, I imagine I’ll be downsizing. I can—” he stopped himself, glancing out at the water. “Karolina can help you find whatever might be useful for your dissertation in the library. Take whatever you need.” As though Sidney cared about his dissertation now. It had never meant less to him.

“I thought you said I could stay,” Sidney tried, desperate. Jonas huffed, a small, unhappy sound.

“Well, Dom, the diner owner, has a room for rent. I don’t know how the lights will be so close to town. Might be bright for stargazing, but uh…” Jonas pushed his dark hair back between his horns and looked up at the cloudy sky. “I don’t really know anyone else in town. There might be a notice board in town hall—” What on earth was he talking about?

“I don’t want to rent a room,” Sidney began. Jonas sighed.

“I’m not a real estate agent, Sidney. I’m not—I—I have to go.” Jonas turned away, and Sidney caught him by the elbow.

“Jonas, please!” For a moment, Sidney thought Jonas might throw him off. Jonas expression crumpled. Jonas pressed his palms to his eyes, almost covering his face, and Sidney’s hand fell away. He had done this to Jonas. This was all Sidney’s fault. Jonas took a deep breath and lowered his hands.

“I’m sorry, Sidney,” Jonas said. “I want to do more. I do. But I think it’ll kill me to be with you, to spend time with you and know…” he trailed off, eyes fixed on Sidney.

“To know what?” Sidney pressed.

“To know that it's my fault we’re not together. I know you can’t forgive me for what I did. I don’t expect you to?—”

“I do,” Sidney said. His face felt flush all of a sudden, as he reached for Jonas, desperate to be understood. “Jonas, I forgive you. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.” Jonas kept his gaze on Sidney, giving him the courage to press on. “I should have waited to hear you out. I shouldn’t have run off, and I’m so sorry you gave up your house for me. I never would have?—”

“You forgive me?” Jonas stammered. Sidney smiled. Stupid. Not good at apologizing.

“Of course I do,” Sidney said. It nearly came out as a shout. “I forgive you. I understand. I know why you didn’t tell me about your glamour. Or the mark.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” Jonas insisted. Maybe it didn’t, but somehow Sidney couldn’t see all the ways that it wasn’t right and could only see the man in front of him. Not the demon, or the human he thought he was, but Jonas. The way he’d always been to Sidney.

“It doesn’t matter. I understand it. I know not wanting to be used. I know how hard it is to try again after someone lets you down. I?—”

Jonas kissed him. Jonas leveraged Sidney’s grip on his arm to tug him close, and then they were really kissing. Jonas was solid and warm and gentle all at once, and Sidney felt more himself pressed against Jonas’s chest. Real and whole.

They separated, for a moment, just enough to breathe, Sidney had thought. But when he leaned up again, Jonas pulled back.

“I am sorry.”

“I know,” Sidney nodded. “I’m sorry too.” Good. Perfect. Sidney leaned in for another kiss, and Jonas took a step back.

“Maybe when I get settled somewhere we can work together again. I doubt you’ll need much help, though. The library is full of really decent astronomical texts about the celestial skies and the?—”

“Wait, what?” Sidney held up his hands. “What are you talking about? You’re still leaving?”

“I don’t have a house anymore,” Jonas said, a sad smile tugging up the corner of his house. “Or I wont two weeks from now. And I don’t have anything else you need. No magic. I can’t— Or, I mean, I suppose I could try and deal for something with you, if you wanted. Is there something you,” Jonas swallowed, his shoulders stiff. Sidney’s heart nearly broke for him. “Is there something you want?”

“No,” Sidney shook his head. “Jonas, no. I just want to be with you.”

“But I don’t have any?—”

“I don’t care,” Sidney said. “I don’t need anything from you. I don’t ever need to see the stars again if it means we can be together.”

It was true. It was all true. Jonas cleared his throat.

“I have something else I ought to tell you,” Jonas said. Sidney nodded. It wouldn’t matter. Nothing Jonas could tell him would change how Sidney felt. He knew that now. Jonas slid his fingers against Sidney’s. “I love you.”

Except for that.

It changed everything and nothing all at once. Sidney was elated. He was smiling and he wanted to cry and all the while, Jonas was carrying on, trying to explain himself:

“Ever since the caves, I just— and not because you saved my life. There’s just something about you that I can’t— I love you, Sidney. And I should have said it before.”

Sidney threw himself into Jonas’s arms and kissed him. And then Jonas lifted him off the ground. Sidney wrapped his legs around Jonas’s hips. He could feel Jonas smile against his lips, and Sidney never wanted him to let go.

If he’d had a hundred years to guess what the rest of his life was going to include, Jonas would have never dared to dream that he’d have Sidney in his arms again. Perfect, glorious Sidney.

Sidney, who was carding fingers through Jonas’s hair as he kissed him. They stood in the middle of the sidewalk, Jonas unglamoured, Sidney trailing his fingers around the base of one of Jonas’s horns, Sidney’s mouth against his. He might have been dreaming. Maybe exhaustion was making him delirious.

Sidney paused to take a breath, and Jonas lifted him slightly higher.

“Sidney,” Jonas murmured, “are you?—”

“Don’t bother asking me if I’m sure. The answer will always be yes.” Jonas grinned, even as he snorted.

“I was going to ask how you’re feeling? Are you alright?”

“Perfect.” Jonas rolled his eyes and tugged Sidney’s hand down out of his hair. His palm still had a line of silver in it, but otherwise looked fully healed. Jonas ran his thumb over it gently.

“It doesn’t hurt?”

“No,” Sidney said. When Sidney looked back up at Jonas, he smiled. “Thank you. For last night.”

“I love you,” Jonas said. It was like a gulp of fresh air after having held his breath for too long.

“I love you too.” Sidney straightened up, sitting taller in Jonas’s arms. Jonas tilted his head back to look up at him. And then to kiss him. Sidney curled into Jonas’s body, and all of Jonas’s fear and exhaustion ebbed away at his touch. They could do this. He could do this.

“I take it we don’t need a boat?” Leo’s accusatory tone sent them jerking apart. Jonas looked at Sidney with wide eyes, and Sidney cringed so exaggeratedly that Jonas had to bite back a laugh. Jonas lowered Sidney to the ground, and Sidney stepped in front of Jonas, looking sheepish.

“Oh. Uh, no. We don’t need a boat.”

“And were you going to come in and let me know that before or after little Freddie coaxed me into the coat closet?”

“Sorry,” Sidney said. Leo huffed, looking between the two of them with his hands on his hips.

“If you two have made up, can we go get coffee? I’m exhausted.”