EPILOGUE #1
ADIL
Welcome to the Blackcastle Book Club’s official group chat!
Seriously? You put a picture from The Land Before Time as the group’s profile picture?
ADIL
Why not? It’s a good movie
STEVENS
Dude, that’s so wrong. It’s a children’s film, and we’re reading about dinosaurs boning
ADIL
It’s a good thing we’re not making them read the books, isn’t it?
ADIL
But fine, I see your point
ADIL
I wanted to keep it a surprise, but since you insist on policing my admin decisions, I’ve changed the picture to the cover of this month’s book club pick
ADIL
Gentlemen, prepare yourselves for **drumroll please** Shagging the Spinosaurus!
VINCENT
We already guessed that was the book of the month. We saw you reading it the other day
Aren’t you supposed to read it with the rest of the club? Why are you reading it early?
STEVENS
Yeah, that’s CHEATING
ADIL
It’s called vetting. Also, I’m the admin. I can do what I want
SAMSON
I tried looking for it at the bookstore yesterday and couldn’t find it. Donovan, what was the name of the store you went to?
Uh…I don’t remember. Just some shop I stumbled on in the city. I’m sure you can buy the book online
GALLAGHER
I don’t understand. How do you shag a spinosaurus?
STEVENS
The same way you shag a triceratops and a T-rex, genius
GALLAGHER
Oh, you sound so bloody confident. Are you speaking from experience?
ADIL
Gentlemen, let’s get back on track! This is a book club, not a fight club
ADIL
Our first official meeting is on Wednesday. I want everyone to come prepared with at least one discussion question
GALLAGHER
Dibs on the ‘how do you shag a spinosaurus’ question
ADIL
You can’t ask that. It has to be a THOUGHTFUL question
VINCENT
How thoughtful do you want us to be? We’re literally reading about dinosaurs fucking
And humans
If you forget them, that’s human erasure
VINCENT
Fuck off, Donovan
Spoken like someone who doesn’t have the IQ to come up with a good question
VINCENT
Yeah? Let’s wait until Wednesday and see. I bet my question will be better than yours
You’re on. May the better questioner win
ADIL
Okayyy. Moving on.
ADIL
Noah, since you refuse to participate in the LITERARY side of our club, you’re in charge of snacks
NOAH
Fine
ADIL
I’m thinking we could do a themed event with dinosaur crackers
ADIL
Do you think they make custom spinosaurus ones?
SAMSON
So we’re going to eat the little dude while we read about him getting it on? That’s so wrong
STEVENS
Poor Spiny. He deserves better
ADIL
It was an IDEA. I don’t see you guys coming up with anything better
GALLAGHER
How about jungle juice to stay with the dinosaur theme?
VINCENT
Dinosaurs didn’t live in the jungle
GALLAGHER
How do you know? Were you there?
Lol
VINCENT
Don’t talk to your captain like that
GALLAGHER
You’re our football captain. You’re not the president of this book club
GALLAGHER
Also, I just looked it up and they did live in jungles, so you’re wrong
SAMSON
Wait, we have a president?
ADIL
Yes, it’s me
ADIL
Anyway
ADIL
Noah, can you call the dinosaur cracker company and ask them for custom spinosaurus snacks?
ADIL
Hello?
ADIL
Noah?
Noah Wilson left the conversation.