The Thorne at My Side

CHAPTER 15

Shifting Focus

AUSTIN

TalkShopGirl: It’s brave of you to admit that you don’t like doing the dishes. I can’t say I blame you but tidying up after myself has been engrained since childhood.

Doing dishes for just one person does get annoying. I’ll give you that. When I’m cooking or meal prepping I challenge myself to use the least number of utensils, bowls, pots, pans, or measuring cups as I can. It’s a little game. It was an exciting day when I found a set of measuring cups that have smaller measurements marked on the inside. So the 1 cup has ?, ⒈／⒉, and ⒈／⒋ lines too.

It is a victory to only use that measuring cup for multiple ingredients as I prep my meals.

I laugh as I finish reading TalkShopGirl’s message. I bet she packs efficiently for the TSA screening process too. If we do meet in person and hit it off she’ll have to get used to flying private.

The idea of flying around the world with TalkShopGirl is a distracting one and I’ve got Maggie Collins to focus on this morning. After I brush my teeth and splash my face with cold water I get dressed and head out the door.

It doesn’t take me long to get to her apartment. We’re not in the exact same neighborhood but D.C. is small once you get to know it.

I lean my skateboard against the wall outside of Maggie's apartment. This is the way to go. I didn't realize how awkward it would be to climb into the backseat and have Greg know exactly what I was up to. He’s seen me through a lot over the years but nothing quite like this.

My ride over was necessary this morning. Since I ran into Maggie last night I've been half hard and the exercise got blood flowing everywhere else. Fuck, I wanted to push her up against the wall last night. Put my hands on her curves. I felt her electricity when I touched her stomach to stop her from running away. Felix caught it, and then he caught me staring at her as she left, and I had to dodge questions all night long about who she was.

I run one hand through my hair and then raise it to knock on her door, but I pause because I can hear her talking.

"Sam, I don't know what you want to hear! I took a page out of your playbook and got a fuck buddy." She pauses. "That’s besides the point. He’s hot and the things he did with his mouth the other day still send tremors through me."

I puff my chest up a bit.

"You asked!”

With a smile I rap my knuckle on the door.

“Shit, he's here, okay, bye."

I school my features as I hear her walk up to the door.

"You think I'm hot," I answer as she opens it and I can't help the laugh that escapes me. She tries to be so unattached. So in control but I can see how affected she is by me.

"You were listening to my conversation?" She accuses, as she steps aside for me to come in.

"Well, considering all I had to do was stand at your door to hear everything it was difficult not to."

I step further into her apartment and my smile widens. The space is just so her . From the soft rose color on the wall behind her post-it note cluttered white board, to the furniture. I can see her picking out the perfect color to paint everything. The overstuffed but worn-in big chair by the window. One corner has a divot in the cushion that tells me it's where she settles in to work or read or watch…wait.

"You don't have a TV," I state with surprise as I turn and double check I didn’t miss it. She’s standing in front of the door with her hands tucked behind her holding onto the knob. My eyes drink in her just-from-bed appearance; her black tank, black sleep shorts, white collared shirt unbuttoned over both, the gentle flush to her cheeks, her golden hair piled high on her head.

"Ah, no, I watch things on my laptop sometimes but usually I read at night."

I'm about to ask what she's reading but she points accusingly at the coffees and pastry bag I’m holding in one hand. "What the fuck is that?"

"Coffee and pastries." I reply slowly as I take another look at them just to make sure that they haven’t morphed into something else.

"This is such a bad idea," she mutters as she steps past me. I notice that she has a pair of sneakers lined up by the door so I step back and toe my shoes off next to hers.

"So bad that it might be good," I say as I walk past her and set the coffee down on the table in front of her chair.

She huffs as she sits down in the divoted spot that I noticed before but she reaches forward and pops the lid off one of the coffees and blows on it before taking a sip. "Why did you bring breakfast, again?"

"Why are you drinking the coffee?" I challenge and instead of admitting that she got called out she narrows her eyes at me over the rim of the cardboard and takes another sip.

Those blue eyes, even when they're shooting daggers at me, are like jumping into the pool on a hot day. The cold is a shock but there is relief, joy, and anticipation.

So I dive.

In one motion I move her coffee down to the table and gently push her back against her chair. She inhales like she's going to try and say something but I don't give her the chance.

The second my lips touch hers, blood rushes like white water rapids to every last inch of my body. I feel alive. This arrangement is an incredibly bad idea, I'm already in too deep, frantically treading water trying to stay afloat. But I want more.

When Maggie pulls back quickly and breaks the kiss I panic at the sudden loss of our connection. She shimmies out of the button up and pulls her tank top off over her head and I immediately grasp her breasts and bring them to my mouth. Her head falls back and she digs her nails into my scalp, sending shivers down my spine.

"Austin," she breathes as I roll her nipple with my tongue. My hand slides down her side, over her hip, down the outside of her thigh, mapping and memorizing every spot. I pull her knee up and hook it behind my hip because I need as much of me touching as much of her as possible. My knees almost buckle when she reaches between us and cups me .

I break the kiss this time and yank my shirt off. Her hands cover my chest quickly.

"You're so fucking hot," she says against my lips.

"You're so pretty it hurts," I tell her as I kiss down the length of her neck and nip at her collarbone. She tastes bitter and sweet, like iced tea.

She pushes on my chest until I fall back against the other arm of the chair then she stands in front of me. I watch as she reaches forward and pulls my glasses off, folds them and sets them on the table. I reach forward to peel her shorts off and find her bare underneath.

"Do you sleep without panties?" I ask as she steps out of her satin shorts.

"I rarely wear underwear at all," she says and my mouth goes dry. "Gives me a competitive edge."

"I'm the one on edge, MC," I smirk as I lean back and open my fly before pulling my jeans down my legs.

"Every word that comes out of your mouth irritates me," Maggie growls as she helps to pull my pants off my feet. She's almost kneeling before me and I am rock hard. I exhale in a hiss when she leans forward and licks me from base to tip. "Seems like I know how to shut you up though," she grins.

"Careful, I'm getting some ideas about your smart mouth."

The fire that flashes through her eyes tells me that she'd be up for it but I’m craving her so as she straddles my lap, I run my fingers against her pussy and they come away slick. She watches as I pass my fingers over my lips.

She's sitting on my thighs and stroking me in a distracted way, almost like she isn't aware she's doing it. I lean forward and kiss her deeply as I wrap my fingers around the back of her neck and thread them into her hair. The kiss awakens her and she begins to wage war against my tongue.

We're each trying to keep up with the other while also battling to be in control. I decide to settle back and let her run the show for a minute but I keep my hands on her. They run up her thighs, around her waist, to her breasts and shoulders and along every sweet inch of skin I can reach. She lets out these delicious little moans and sighs as I caress her and her grip on me falters when I slide my fingers along her folds again.

I press against her clit and immediately she tightens her grip on me. I circle and she strokes then her body goes stiff. She jerks and I feel more fluid slide along my fingers.

"Did you just come?" I ask her as I nibble along her neck.

"Yes, I couldn't help it," she says, like she's disappointed.

I pull back and connect with her shockingly blue eyes. "Let’s get one thing straight, MC, don't hold back with me. Got it?” She nods. “Now, let's have some fun and get you another one."

She grins before she can stop herself. Her crystal eyes sparkle as she pulls the smile back in between her teeth.

I'm not prepared for the shock her smile gives my heart. It hurt in a good way. I want to see it again so I use my thumb to free it.

When her smile flashes I use the surge of energy it gives me to flip her onto her back before planting myself between her legs.

"Austin," she whimpers as I rub my self through her folds. Instead of dipping in I pull back. "Where are you going?"

"I'm having breakfast," I respond and I kiss my way down her stomach as it bottoms out and start with one agonizingly slow lick up her pussy.

"Oh fuck," Maggie hisses and she throws her head back. As I continue to lick, her legs start to tighten around me so I push them up towards her chest.

"Hold those," I instruct and her eyes widen.

"Austin, we don't have time for all this."

"You have something more important to do this morning than get the best head of your life?" I ask with my arms propped on the top of her shins. My dick is seeking out her heat and he twitches between us. When she doesn’t respond I continue, "I didn't think so but I can get your phone so you can cancel your meetings."

I stand and make my way to where I see her phone on her bedside table. Maggie jumps up and puts her beautiful naked body between me and the nightstand.

"No, that's fine, it's no problem, I don't have a meeting early this morning."

"What's in the drawer?" I ask as I see her hands slowly push it closed behind her ass.

"Nothing."

"You and I both know that's not true, but I'm going to let it slide because arguing with you is not what I want to be doing while you are standing in front of me naked."

She raises an eyebrow and tries to push me down on the bed but I catch her wrists and walk her backwards to the chair. When her legs hit the edge of the seat I gently push her down and then I hook her knees back up to her chest.

"Hold still," I instruct as I get down on my knees in front of this force of a woman.

"I like bringing you to your knees," she says in a breathy voice as I begin to eat her out again.

She has no idea.

I nip at her sensitive flesh, teasing her and I find it difficult to breathe through the head rush that her groan unleashes.

"Austinnnnnnn," she whines my name and I respond by slipping two fingers inside her. She gasps and whips her head to look at me. When our eyes connect, I pump and her head falls back.

"Oh fuck, yes," she whispers as my fingers plunge in and out of her heated core. When I slide in a third a breathy "yes" falls from her lips. Her first orgasm was so quiet, so delicate, like she wasn't sure it was happening. This one, the one I feel closing in on my hand, is all consuming.

I can’t believe this is only the third time we’ve been together. It feels like Maggie Collins has been a part of my life much longer. Like we have a connection that is stronger than incredible sex.

I reach up to pinch one of her hard nipples and then it hits. Her orgasm rushes through her. She whines, almost pouts, as her inner walls crash down on my fingers and I lap gently around her swollen bundle of nerves at her peak. I slowly kiss up her thighs and plant one on her stomach.

"Oh god, I've-" her breaths are shallow as she regroups, "I hate how good that was."

"I can imagine your inner turmoil," I say as I step back and pull a condom out of my jeans pockets. "Ah, ah," I scold as she starts to lower her legs, "I didn't tell you to stop holding those."

The look on her face reads disdain but she pulls her knees up into her chest again.

"Good girl," I tease and I watch her eyes narrow. "Now," I place my thumb on her clit as I grip my base, "hold tight."

In one thrust I sheath myself in her to the hilt. She gasps and grips her knees tighter but her insides stretch around me.

I'm so hard this isn't going to last long but I want her to have a third so I start to strum her clit as I slowly roll my hips into her.

"Shit, Austin," she says but I can see on her face that even she doesn't know how to be upset because her mind is too clouded with pleasure.

My name on her lips has a dizzying effect.

"Keep saying my name Maggie," I tell her as I slowly pull out and thrust back in. Her whole body rocks with the movement and if her chair wasn't up against the wall I'm sure we'd have moved it across the room already.

"Why? Your ego needs to be stroked that badly?"

I pull out and thrust in again, hard. "No. I need you to hear yourself say my name when I fuck you better than anyone else ever has."

And she takes it better than any other woman I've been with but she doesn't need to know that.

"Now I'm going to not say it, you know that right?"

"I'd like to see you try," I whisper in her ear as I slide my hand off her clit and palm her ass. I've trapped her in on the other side with my hand against the back of the chair and so when I slap the skin under my hand and she loses her grip on her knee my body catches it.

"Austin!" She scolds as her insides clamp down on me.

"Do it again?" I ask as I rub her ass to soothe the sting.

"Yes," she whispers with her eyes closed.

“Look at me,” I command. And as our eyes connect I lay another smack across her flesh and then hold my hand against her ass as I pump furiously in and out. Her tits are jumping beneath her knees and I begin to lose feeling everywhere except my dick. With one last slap to her ass and a pump from me, her insides flutter and roll to pull every last bit out of me. I press myself forward and rock into her a few more times as my breath shudders with my release. “Fuck, Maggie. Yes.”

The urge to collapse down on her and then spend the next hour cuddling her to my chest comes out of nowhere. I’m hooked on Maggie Collins. My body is addicted to hers.

Slowly I pull out and we untangle ourselves. I help her sit up and she lowers her feet to the floor before I grab my glasses and step into the bathroom to clean up.

After I wash my hands, I look up at myself in the mirror and see a man who is well and truly fucked.

Physically, obviously, that was the best sex I've ever had.

But emotionally too. Maggie Collins makes me feel things. Our emotional connection isn’t as established as what I share with TalkShopGirl but could it get there? It doesn’t matter. Maggie hates me, and tells me so every day.

When I walk out into her studio apartment I find Maggie has slipped into the white dress shirt again and she's folded my clothes on the coffee table.

"So, umm, hi," she starts as I reach forward and climb into my boxer briefs.

"Hi, Maggie," I give her a side smile.

"This is going to sound weird," she starts, "and I probably shouldn't say this but maybe I've been dickmatized or something. Anyway, that was my first orgasm on my back."

I stop getting dressed with only one leg in my jeans.

"I'm sorry, come again."

She huffs out a breath, "I've never gotten an orgasm on my back. Only when I've been on top or on my stomach."

"What did you think?"

She looks at me with curiosity in her eyes. Did she expect me to make fun of her for that? Did she want me to berate any past men she's been with? Because, actually, the idea that there have been other men who haven't satisfied her brings a rage to the surface I'm not sure I can control.

I can see the internal war she’s waging over this conversation. I focus on keeping myself settled because the way she’s biting her lip is stirring the desire in me.

"It was intense," she finally admits. "I felt like I was falling."

My jeans are on all the way now so I step forward and run my hands up her arms. I grip her shoulders and hold her there in front of me. I’ve never seen her so vulnerable. I knew there were greater depths to her but this is the first time she’s exposed them to me. Granted, I’ve only known her a week but look at all the ground we’ve covered so far.

"I've got you," is what comes out when the words finally reach my lips. That desire to cuddle her returns as I watch her feelings unfold across her face. Her honey blonde hair falls around her shoulders, as her sapphire eyes search mine. She might be looking for derision from me, since we’ve established this relationship on teasing, but all I see is bravery and strength.

When her eyes soften to show gratitude, my mind trips over the idea that maybe she doesn’t hate me as much as I thought.

I pull her against my chest and wrap her in my arms. My nose lands in the soft waves of her hair and I inhale the floral scent. She doesn't respond right away but when she wraps her arms around my ribs I feel warmth travel through my body. After an indulgent beat, I squeeze her a little tighter, leave a delicate kiss in the crook of her neck, and then release her. Quickly I step over to my shirt, afraid of what I will see in her eyes if I go looking for it.

Afraid of what I might not see but want to.

"Have a good day Maggie," I manage as I get to the door and grab my skateboard.

"Um, yeah, you too Austin," she says as she crosses over to the door. She watches me walk down the hallway and I catch her still looking at me as the elevator door closes between us.

I might as well admit it to myself. I don't want Maggie Collins to hate me at all.

◆◆◆

"You got here early ?" Felix calls to me from the floor as I reach the angled section of the wall. My grip slips because he distracted me. Truthfully, I've been distracted all morning, but let's blame him.

"Fuck," I hiss as the harness catches me and I belay myself down to the floor.

"Hello to you, too," he mutters as he clips in next to me. Felix Fournier and I met at a charity event a few years ago. He had just moved to D.C. and the Renegades owner introduced us, telling Felix that I could help him navigate the world of D.C. as a wealthy young man. I shared a few of my favorite spots. When I told him that I rock climb for exercise he asked only one question.

“How hard does it hurt your balls?"

When I laughed and said that it didn't hurt any more than riding a bike he clapped his hands and said "I'm gonna be fit as fuck next season."

We've been coming to First Ascent twice a week for five years now. When he went back to training camp that first August his trainer asked him what he did in the off season to stay so well conditioned and when he said rock climbing the trainer recommended it to the whole team.

So now, instead of seeing just one professional hockey player here I usually see three or four. I've also noticed an uptick in really pretty women around the gym.

"Seriously though, why are you here so early?"

"I had an early start to the day," I say but I have to turn my head away so he doesn't catch the smirk or the fucking twinkle in my eyes that I can feel when I think about Maggie from this morning.

"Usually that makes you more grumpy, unless," he stretches the word out as he walks closer to me. I have to meet his gaze head on or he'll definitely know something is up. He leans in and narrows his eyes and inspects my face before stepping back slightly and glancing down my body. "You fucked."

"What?" I try to laugh it off. Maggie doesn't want anyone knowing about our arrangement and I've come to respect her in a way that makes me want to do dirty, dirty things to her.

"Ha! For sure you fucked," Felix says loudly, I quickly scan the gym for anyone who might have heard. "Wait, did you get with someone here?"

"No," I laugh again but then stop abruptly because the idea of being with anyone but Maggie sent a shiver of distaste through me.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"That shiver." Felix points at me.

"I just, umm, it's cold in here, right?" I ask as I also pull on my collar to release some of the heat.

"Holy shit. You actually like a girl. I've never seen you so flustered over a hookup before."

Instead of answering him I step around him and line up to start my climb again. "Stop gossiping and get to work," I grumble.

He laughs as he steps up to the track beside me. "I didn't know you were seeing someone."

"I'm not."

"But, you fucked."

"I never said that." I say as I reach for a grip but miss and end up swinging around with only my left hand and foot on the wall.

Felix’s eyes go wide in shock, "And you've never missed a grip before so c'mon man, spill the tea!"

"Spill the tea?"

"It means gossip."

"I know that, I just didn't expect you to use the phrase."

"I've been trying to add to my vocabulary," he states. "I've got a word of the day calendar."

"And spill the tea is part of your education?"

"No, but at least I'm trying to expand my thinking."

"I invented a freaking AI news service." I say indignantly as I reach for the grip again and get it. Fuck yeah.

"Right, but you did it to prove your dad wrong."

"Well, I'm motivated by competition," I grunt as I make another stretch for a grip and get it. I'm hitting my stride as I start to feel more agitated with Felix Fournier and his questions.

"Is that why you're racing to pull a muscle?"

"Fuck off man."

"No thank you, but I will talk about who you fucked last night."

"This morning," I mumble under my breath before regretting it.

"THIS MORNING!?" Felix yells and again I look around the gym for anyone who notices. A few heads turned.

"Will you shut up!" I hiss as I move sideways closer to him. "Okay, fine, you're right, I hooked up with someone; this morning."

"Who?"

"Can't say."

"You don't know her name? Morning sex is intimate and you did it with some rando? "

"No, I can't tell you her name." She certainly knows mine though. I feel my palms start to sweat when I remember how she said my name. Many, many, times this morning, over the course of her three orgasms.

"Is it a secret?"

"Yeah, she doesn't want people knowing we're together. Well, not together really, it's like a sex arrangement."

"Fuck buddies, I get it." Felix nods as we move up the wall next to each other.

"Minus the buddies part, she's been very clear that we're not friends." Although her confession before I left seems like something she'd only tell me if she had put trust in me. Maybe she’s starting to see me as a friend.

"But you want to be more than friends? Err, wait, no, you want to add friendship to the fucking? That's like backwards from how it usually goes isn't it?"

I shrug as best I can with my hands holding me to a wall 20 feet in the air. "Maybe, I haven't thought about it much."

"Except constantly."

I laugh, “well yeah, the sex is really good."

"So are you going to try and become her friend and turn it into a relationship?"

"I dunno," I admit as I move a little more quickly up the wall. I haven't told Felix that I signed up for SMS Connect. Both of us have commiserated over girls wanting to be with us because of our status or position instead of for who we are.

"Actually, I do know," I tell him once he catches up and we're only a few more paces from the top. "I don't think I'll do anything more than sex with Ma–, her," shit I almost said her name. "A few months ago I signed up for that SMS Connect service."

"Oh really?" Felix confirms. " And how's that going?"

"Well, you can't tell anyone I'm on it, I wasn't even supposed to tell you, but the girl I'm talking with is great. I actually like texting with her."

"Have you met her?"

"Not yet. Next week is the earliest we could meet."

The twelve weeks messaging with TalkShopGirl have flown by. It feels like we've been talking forever, like she's always been a part of my life. Even though she's not really a part of it at all.

She's in my head, that's probably the best way to describe it. When I'm alone, or on the way to the office, I find myself wondering who she is and what she's doing at that moment.

Except when I'm with, or thinking about, Maggie Collins. When she and I are in the room together at work, or better yet at her apartment, all I can think about is her. This is all a little confusing; two girls, two different scenarios but both leave me feeling satisfied and seen.