The Tides of Loss and Longing (Love from the Deep #1)

Chapter 9

Aurelia

H er family’s grotto finally came into view, the hazy morning light filtering through the shallower waters. Aurelia swam through swaying weeds and vibrant coral, entering the familiar cave where the colorful liveliness of her childhood greeted her. She was immediately struck by how little had changed, a stark contrast to how her own life had been entirely upended since her last visit.

She had changed.

The grotto walls were alive with movement. Fish darted and weaved among the coral, their scales flashing in the dappled sunlight that spilled through cracks in the cavern ceiling. Sea anemones swayed gently in the current, their vibrant hues dazzling against the rocky backdrop. Hidden among the rocks, colorful sea urchins and starfish clung to their perches. This place, full of secret chambers and hidden nooks, had been her playground, and the memory of her carefree childhood washed over her like a wave of bittersweet peace. Because along with that peace came the knowledge that she could never truly call this place home again. She had changed, and there was no going back.

Her mother’s soft call brought her back to the present. Aurelia turned to see her standing at the entrance of one of the passageways, her long coral-colored hair flowing around her serene face. The same turquoise eyes they shared sparkled with a mix of curiosity and concern, and her sapphire-blue tail twitched in greeting.

The merfolk language, so different from the one she used with Drake, was a melodic blend of vocalizations paired with intricate hand signs.

“Are you all right, Aurelia?” her mother asked, her movements quick with worry. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I only came for a visit,” Aurelia replied. She wanted to hug her, bury her head in her chest, and have her mother tell her everything would be okay. Many months ago, Aurelia would have reeled at such a thought, but now she craved physical affection. But the merfolk didn’t show affection like that, and her mother would find it alarming. Still, she heard the care in her mother’s voice. Despite the limitations of their kind, Aurelia had always felt close to her.

“Is Papa around? Lionne?”

Her mother shook her head, “No, you just missed them. They left for a hunting trip along with Grito and Richer. They will not be back for several nights.”

Aurelia tried to mask her disappointment at not seeing her father and brother. Grito and Richer, the father and son from the neighboring family, lived in the large grotto along with Grito’s partner, Amalda. They were as much a part of Aurelia’s family as her own, their presence an integral part of her childhood.

“Mama, how do you feel about Papa?” Aurelia blurted out, her voice more urgent than she’d intended.

Her mother’s expression shifted from concern to confusion. “How do I feel about him? What do you mean?”

“I’m just curious,” Aurelia shrugged, trying to play it off as a casual question even though she was desperate for the answer. “How do you feel when you look at him?”

Her mother gave her a measured look, the kind only mothers could provide. “As you know, not all merfolk mate for life. Some prefer solitude, like you, or small communities without attachments. But for your Papa and me, it just worked. We wanted offspring, a simple life.”

“Yes, but how do you feel about him?” Aurelia asked, trying to contain her impatience though her frustration mounted. She knew she was upsetting her mother, but the question gnawed at her.

“I care for Rysen as I care for you and Lionne,” her mother said, a small crease forming between her brows.

Aurelia fought back tears. She had expected this answer but had pressed anyway, hoping for something more. Coming home, she had been weary, knowing that things would be different after her transformation. She had anticipated some disconnect from her family and the merfolk, but she hadn’t expected the pain that came with it. Her mother would never understand what she was going through—no merfolk would.

Naively, Aurelia had hoped this visit might bring her some clarity or, at the very least, comfort. Instead, she felt even more alienated, more alone, the once-strong bond to her home fraying before her eyes. She was untethered, drifting between worlds, unsure where she truly belonged.

Her thoughts drifted to Drake. What was he doing? Did he wonder where she was? Or was he simply building his bonfire, his mind far from thoughts of her? Maybe he was glad she was gone.

She missed him, though.

Aurelia decided to drop the subject of feelings altogether and spend the rest of the day with her mother. Even if she could no longer be open with her mother or share the connection they once had, she still cherished her.

Amalda came back around midday with fresh fish and seaweed. The three of them gathered in the large chamber of the grotto, sitting on soft beds of sea moss as they chatted and ate. Aurelia learned that a young solitary mermaid was interested in joining their small community. Lionne and Richer had been arguing over who would get to approach her as a potential mate. The lighthearted gossip made Aurelia laugh along with the two older mermaids, offering her a welcome escape from her own problems, if only for a day.

As the sun descended below the horizon, Aurelia said her goodbyes. Amalda filled her woven sack with leftover seaweed to bring home with her. Without thinking, Aurelia wrapped her arms around her mother—her human side craving physical affection. The embrace felt awkward, almost foreign as if she was clinging to something she needed to let go of. Aurelia ignored that feeling and held on tightly, surprised when her mother returned the hug, however brief and tentative.

“Remember, Aurelia, you are always welcome here—this will always be your home,” her mother murmured.

Aurelia felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, a lump forming in her throat. She fought the urge to cry, knowing her mother would never let her leave if she saw her tears. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Aurelia gave her mother one final squeeze because deep down, she knew this was a goodbye, not just to her mother but to the part of herself that had once belonged here.