The Tides of Loss and Longing (Love from the Deep #1)

Chapter 18

Aurelia

T he sunlight was warm on Aurelia’s body, and a light breeze tickled her face as she floated in the ocean, far from her cove. The rhythmic lull of the waves soothed her, offering a brief respite from the thoughts swirling in her mind. Drake had warned her to avoid the watchful eyes of the men who had taken over her beach, but this morning, she needed the ocean—she needed to be in her true form, away from the weight of her human worries.

As much as she enjoyed walking on land as humans do, she adored the freedom of the sea. It was where she could let go of the complexities of her new human side. The water embraced her as only the ocean could, offering the peace she’d been craving.

But even the sea couldn’t wash away the bittersweet feelings that lingered from the early hours of the morning. Drake had mated with her then, and though their bodies had moved in perfect harmony, she’d felt a pang of sadness she hadn’t anticipated. She’d clung to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck so he wouldn’t see the tears or the turmoil in her eyes.

When it was over, she ran from him—terrified to confront the future they hadn’t yet spoken about, afraid of the possibility of rejection. She couldn’t shake the feeling that their future could only go one of two ways, and both paths would cost her something important.

On the one hand, Drake might be the missing piece she had longed for her entire life. Though she couldn’t yet name her feelings, she knew they were undeniable and ran deeper than she could explain. If given the choice, Aurelia felt she would abandon the ocean if it meant staying with him. The thought felt like a betrayal of her nature—especially as she gazed at her iridescent tail shimmering in the sunlight.

On the other hand, her future with Drake might burn to ashes, just like the bonfire he’d built to leave the island. As fate would have it, the fire he’d sparked in her body could just as easily be what drove him away. Her chest tightened, breath catching at the painful thought.

Was she destined to lose herself or the man she desired? Did she even have a choice?

In moments like these, she questioned whether she’d made the right decision on that fateful day with the Sea Witch. She barely recognized herself some days, caught between two worlds and the emotions she never used to feel so intensely. The odds of her happy ending seemed more uncertain with each passing day, as if the life she longed for with Drake was just out of reach, slipping further away the more she tried to hold on.

Pushing her dark thoughts aside, Aurelia focused on the day ahead. She would finally be able to ask questions and converse with other humans—a prospect both thrilling and terrifying.

Last evening, Drake hadn’t seemed entirely comfortable with her talking to his crew. That worried her. She only hoped he wasn’t embarrassed by her or afraid of what she might say. Though new to this world, Drake had already taught her so much in such a short time. She was eager to expand her understanding of the human world, and navigating it under his protective gaze made it seem less daunting.

She swam back to the grotto, her mind made up. She would face the day with confidence and excitement instead of wallowing in self-pity.

Drake was just waking up when Aurelia pulled herself ashore.

He smiled at her sleepily, yawning. “Did you have a relaxing morning swim?”

“Yes! I’m looking forward to talking with your crew today,” she said, brimming with excitement.

Drake didn’t share her enthusiasm. He sat up, his expression serious. “Aurelia, you must remember—these men are dangerous pirates. They aren’t good men.”

She nodded quickly, offering him her most reassuring smile. “Of course. I’ll steer clear of topics like looting and murder.”

Drake’s lips twitched in amusement, but his gaze remained stern. “You will remain at my side at all times. I mean it, Aurelia, you are not to be alone with any of them, even Sebastian—especially Sebastian.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Do you think they’ll harm me?”

“Yes, if given the opportunity. So, we won’t give them one. My men haven’t seen a woman in a long time, and you’re... tempting.”

The memory of the crew’s lustful gazes from yesterday sent a shiver through Aurelia. She would definitely be staying close to Drake.

“And, Aurelia—never tell anyone you’re a mermaid. That would bring far worse dangers than even I could protect you from.”

Aurelia felt a knot of fear tighten in her stomach. Suddenly, the idea of conversing with Drake’s crew didn’t seem so appealing. But then she thought of Emilio, with his kind, trustworthy eyes.

“What about Emilio?” she asked.

Drake’s gaze darkened, his eyes narrowing as if searching for something in her expression. After a tense moment, he let out a frustrated sigh, startling her. “Emilio... is more respectable than the rest of them.”

Aurelia grinned. “Perfect! I’ll talk to Emilio, then!”

Drake returned her smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Drake helped her into one of her gowns, a pale green one with intricate flower embroidery around the neckline and hem and little pearl embellishments. She smiled as she smoothed the fabric down, its soft green hue reminding her of her mermaid tail.

They carefully navigated their way out of the grotto, Drake keeping a cautious eye on the beach as they neared the camp where his crew lounged. In the bright light of day, Aurelia got a much better look at Drake’s crew. They had set camp around the bonfire across her beach. Barrels and crates littered the ground, with makeshift beds and belongings scattered about. The men varied in age—some young and wiry, clinging to the last remnants of youth, while others were weathered, their skin leathery and worn from years at sea. Almost all of them were covered in a layer of grime. Many had markings snaking up their arms or across their bare torsos, and their mouths flashed with gold and silver when they laughed. She did not like their laughs. They were sharp and unsettling, not warm and welcoming like Drake’s.

Aurelia stiffened when a few men’s gazes met hers. Their eyes were cold, hardened from a life of piracy, and some were worse—filled with a hunger that made her skin crawl. She instinctively pressed herself closer to Drake, feeling a sudden surge of fear. She resolved to stay very close to his side for the remainder of their stay.

A commotion to her left caught her attention, and her fear eased slightly when she saw Emilio approaching, his expression warm and kind. Behind him was Sebastian, looking decidedly less cheerful.

“?Buenos días!” Emilio greeted, his smile broad.

Sebastian gave a strained smile, his movements sluggish. Emilio must have noticed her confusion because he added, “Do not mind him, Aurelia. He drank his weight in rum last night.”

Aurelia glanced up at Drake, her brow furrowed. “Rum?” she asked.

Drake ran a hand down her hair. “I’ll let you try some later, though I doubt you’ll like it.”

Before she could respond, Sebastian interjected, his tone flippant. “Captain, I’d like a word.”

Drake merely raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“Alone,” Sebastian added, gesturing toward Aurelia with a nod.

She felt Drake’s hand clench at the small of her back. She could sense the argument brewing but was relieved when Emilio stepped in, his voice calm but firm. “I’ll keep an eye on her, Captain. No harm will come to her.”

Drake’s gaze shifted from Sebastian to Emilio, tension radiating from his body. Aurelia reached up and gently smoothed her thumb across his furrowed brow, hoping to calm him. Then, she stroked his cheek softly. “All will be well, Drake,” she whispered. “I’ll stay where you can see me.” She gave him what she hoped was her most reassuring smile.

Drake grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against her palm. The warmth of his touch sent a flutter through her chest. “I will be only a moment,” he said, reluctantly leaving her side, following Sebastian off toward the edge of the camp, just far enough to speak privately but close enough that she felt safe.

She turned to Emilio, who was watching her with a keen, unreadable expression. “Do you like being a pirate?” she blurted out, the question escaping her before she could stop it.

A small smile tugged at Emilio’s lips. “Most days, yes. Some days, not so much. Keeping that one,” he gestured toward Drake and Sebastian, “out of trouble? That’s a full-time job.”

Aurelia could only assume he was referring to Sebastian. He did seem to be quite the handful. She nervously smoothed out her dress, unease building in her chest. “Drake told me Sebastian is like a brother to him. They’ve been through so much together… I hate to think I’m the reason they’re fighting.”

Emilio’s brows shot up, surprise flickering across his face. “He told you about his past? In England?”

She nodded, and Emilio studied her even more intently, his expression shifting. He laughed suddenly before muttering under his breath, “Fate works in ever mysterious ways.”

Aurelia’s curiosity was piqued. “What do you mean by that?”

Instead of answering, Emilio said, “It’s not you they’re fighting over. It’s the situation.”

“What situati—”

Before she could finish her sentence, a rough hand clamped around her waist from behind, pulling her into a solid, unfamiliar chest. The smell of sweat and rum hit her senses, and a low, rasping voice whispered in her ear, “Ye be far too fair for the Cap’n to hoard ye all to himself.”

Revulsion surged through her, and her stomach twisted with fear.

“Peter,” Emilio’s voice cut through the moment, cold and dangerous. “Let her go. Now.”

The man holding her chuckled, his breath foul. “Come now, Emilio. Ain’t no need to be selfish. We can share, aye? I ain't as tight-fisted as Hawthorne!”

“This will not end well for you,” Emilio warned, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword. “I can promise you that.” He glanced over to where Drake and Sebastian had been arguing, a smile spreading across his face. “Good luck,” he winked at Peter.

Aurelia’s heart pounded in her chest as she tried to twist free, but Peter’s grip only tightened. Her eyes darted around, searching desperately for Drake, but she couldn’t see him. Panic clawed at her insides.

Suddenly, Peter’s hold slackened, and she stumbled forward, breaking free. She turned just in time to see Drake storming toward them, his face contorted with murderous rage.