The Toughest Play

8. Autumn

CHAPTER 8

AUTUMN

H e doesn’t care?

Maybe he’s not interested in me after all.

He shakes his head. “No, it’s all good. So how did you two meet?”

I think I got whiplash from how fast he just changed the subject.

“We met on the first day of high school,” I say before taking a bite of garlic bread.

“And she’s been stuck with me ever since,” Scarlett adds.

“So you’re from Rhode Island too?” he asks.

She briefly wraps her arm around my shoulders. “Yep. And we went to college together too.”

“I keep waiting for her to get sick of me but she keeps hanging in,” I tell him.

He smiles. “You two really are best friends.”

“No.” Scarlett shakes her head. “We’re family.”

His eyes dart back and forth between us, as if he can’t believe how tight we really are. It’s not the first time I’ve seen this reaction. A lot of people have difficulty understanding the depths of our friendship. I’d die if it meant saving her, and she’d do the same for me.

Brett often got jealous and regularly complained about Scarlett being more important to me than he was. And she’s dealt with similar behavior in her own relationships. Men and their fragile egos.

I’m holding out hope that someday, when I’m ready for another relationship, I’ll find a man with enough self-confidence that he won't feel threatened by my love for my best friend. But that seems to be a taller order than I realize.

Conversation dies out as the three of us chip away at the food on our plates. Whenever Scarlett makes lasagna, I eat too much, and tonight is no exception. When my dinner is gone, I set my fork down with a groan and Rogan does the same.

“So, are you gonna snatch that starting position from Brett or what?” Scarlett asks, putting an end to the silence.

My head snaps in her direction. “Scarlett!”

She laughs. “What? I want to know, so I asked.”

Rogan chuckles. “I don’t have a problem with her bluntness. And to answer your question, Y. E. fucking S. Yes!”

She squeals and stomps her feet against the metal stool rung. “I’ll be rooting for you all the way.”

Rogan grins. “I appreciate that. I can use all the positive mojo.” His blue eyes move to me. “What about you, Fall? Are you rooting for me?”

Yes. No. Maybe?

“Fall? What’s this?” Scarlett asks, saving me from having to answer.

“When Rogan and I met, I tripped and fell into him.”

“And now she’s no longer Autumn—she’s Fall.” He winks at me.

Scarlett snorts. “That’s hilarious.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah. What a cheesy riot.”

“It’ll grow on you,” Rogan tells me.

Canting my head, I hit him with a look that’s thick with skepticism. “Don’t hold your breath.” Rogan stands and collects our plates. “You don’t need to do that,” I say.

“It’s the least I can do after that delicious meal.” He rinses everything off before loading them in the dishwasher.

“I could get used to having a handsome man cleaning up,” Scarlett says.

Rogan wipes his hands on the dish towel and turns around to face us. “Put in a good word for me with your friend here.” He lifts his chin in my direction.

She nods. “I’ll do my best.”

“I’m gonna get going now. Thank you so much for feeding me. It was the best meal I’ve had in ages.”

“You’re welcome back anytime,” she says. “It was great meeting you.”

He smiles. “You as well.”

“Autumn will walk you to the door.”

Traitor!

I send a side-eye glance her way and slide from the stool to my feet. Wordlessly, I walk toward the front of the house and he follows. Self-consciousness assails me, and I wonder if he’s looking at my ass. Does he think it’s too big like I do?

And now that I’ve had that thought, my legs feel stiff, my gait feels awkward, and I have the grace of a robot. Even though the number of steps feels endless, it’s only a matter of a few seconds. Opening the door, I step out onto the landing, barefoot. He shoves his feet into his slides and joins me.

“Thank you for the ride home. I really appreciate the rescue.”

He waves away my words. “No thanks needed. I’m glad I was there to help. That reminds me, do you need a ride in the morning?”

“No, thank you. I’ll get Scarlett to drop me off. But how will I know when my car is ready?”

“I’ll have my buddy leave it at the stadium tomorrow. Do you have another set of keys?”

“Yes.”

“Bring them with you. I’ll tell him to leave the original in the glove compartment.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“Here.” He hands me his phone. “Put your number in so I can text you and let you know when it’s been dropped off.”

I don’t like giving out my number, but I can hardly say no when he’s gone out of his way to be of assistance. I type in the digits and then pass the cell phone back. His thumbs rapidly tap against the screen and then he slips the device into his front pocket.

He smiles at me. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I nod. “Yeah.”

When he extends his hand, I hesitate for a moment before placing my own in his grasp. He surprises me by raising my hand and pressing a soft kiss to the back. It’s such a charming and unexpected gesture, a kaleidoscope of butterflies is set free in my stomach.

When he releases my hand, there’s an awkward pause before I say, “Have a good night.”

“You too.” He steps onto the walkway, and I become preoccupied with studying his retreating form. He’s tall and lean, with calf muscles that flex with every step he takes. And his gym shorts hug his ass in a way that dries up all the saliva in my mouth. He turns his head over his shoulder, sending a knowing smirk my way. Embarrassed at being caught checking him out, I spin around and hurry back inside.

Closing the door, I lean against it, exhaling a relieved sigh. What is it about Rogan that affects me so much? I’m not someone anyone could mistakenly label as a people person. I’m introverted and tend to keep to myself. But for some reason, Rogan was able to get me to speak more with him than I intended. It took Brett six months of having me as his tutor before I loosened up.

Pushing off the door, I spin around and shriek. “Fuck, Scarlett. Make some noise for God’s sake.”

“Where’s the fun in that? Besides, if you’d known I was there, I wouldn’t have seen your true reaction to Rogan.”

“And what would that be?”

“You like him.”

I scowl. “No, I don’t.”

She steps forward and pokes me in the shoulder. “Do too.”

“Do not,” I fire back, but it’s no use. I can deny it until my face turns blue, but she’s the most stubborn and persistent person I know. She’ll never give in.

Her expression is smug as she crosses her arms. “You’re only lying to yourself. I know the truth.”

“I can’t like him,” I say.

“Why not?”

“Well, if you think back a couple of years, you’ll remember the hell Brett put me through.”

“What does that have to do with Rogan? Are he and Brett the same person?”

“No, but they’re both professional football players and quarterbacks.”

“And they both have a penis.” She gasps, covering her mouth.

I roll my eyes at her. “Can you blame me for being wary of someone who’s got so much in common with Brett?”

“No, I understand why you see similarities between them, but you’re not thinking about how different they actually are.”

“What do you mean?”

Her fingers close around my wrist and she tugs. “Come on.” I walk into the living room area and we both drop down onto the couch. “Rogan isn’t like Brett in all the ways that matter. He drove you home, so he must be considerate.”

“Yeah, and he had a mechanic friend tow my car to his garage and he’s gonna deliver it tomorrow while I’m at work. Then Rogan’s going to text me and let me know.”

“See? Would Brett have done that for you?”

I raise my feet to the coffee table, crossing my ankles. “Nope. Not even after years together.”

“Right. He only thought of himself. Would Brett ever ask me anything?”

“No, but he knew you well enough that he didn’t need to.”

“Why are you still defending that asshole?” she asks.

“I’m not.”

“Yes. You. Are.” Her head nods in accordance with each word.

Am I really?

I take a moment to think about what I said, and come to the realization that while my intent might not be to defend him, in actuality, I am.

“You’re right,” I say.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.” She cups her hand beneath her ear. “Can you please repeat that?”

I slap the back of my hand against the outside of her thigh. “Don’t be a ball buster.”

She grins. “But hearing you admit you were wrong is so much fun.”

“I wasn’t aware I was rushing to his defense. And now that you’ve got me thinking about how I have been, I don’t understand why I do it.”

“Because he’s a gaslighting dickhead.”

“I know he is.”

“Yeah, but he plays on the fact that you’re a good person and you have history together.”

“He was a big part of my life for a long time. It’s hard to forget about that.”

“Maybe you need to focus on how much of that time was spent catering to Brett’s every want and need. I can remind you if you want.”

“I remember.”

“Since you two split up, your life has improved so much. We bought this house, your career is taking off, and you’re happy—even though I’m the only one who can tell.” She jostles my arm with her elbow and smiles at me.

“Everything you mentioned is valid. I am happier than I remember ever being. I even like my new coworkers, which is a miracle in itself.”

She laughs. “Right? You better hang on to this job.”

“I plan to, which is another reason why I’m going to keep my distance from Rogan. I can’t be fraternizing with players outside of work.”

“Fraternizing?” she says, snorting. “Just say fucking like a grown up.”

“I’m definitely not going to fuck Rogan or anyone else.”

“So you say. But I saw the way that man undressed you with those baby blues of his.” Leaning toward me, she bats her long lashes at me. “I bet he can be pretty persuasive.”

Laughing, I lightly push her backward. “I’m sure he can, but I’m not looking to get laid by him or anyone else.”

“All it’ll take is him laying a kiss on you and I bet you’ll be singing a different tune.”

“You know me better than that. Look how long I made Brett wait while we were dating.”

“Oh my God. You can’t bring that up. You were a virgin back then, and now you’re not.”

“My sexual experience isn’t going to make me less apt to think things through.”

She laughs. “I can tell you from my own experience, you’re wrong. If you’re in a heated moment with Rogan, caught up in all his sexiness, it’s going to be harder to stop. Pun intended.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “The seal is broken, so to speak. There’s no reason to hold back.”

“You mean besides following my plan for the future?”

“You can do that and be involved with a man at the same time. They’re not mutually exclusive.”

“I know, but I’ve learned the hard way it’s easier if I’m alone. I can focus on myself and no one else. With Brett, I let my willingness to support his career overshadow my desire to work on mine.”

“I dare say if you have a supportive partner, he’ll be a driving force toward helping you achieve your goals.”

“Maybe so, but for now, I’m going to keep things as they are. And here’s something for you to think about. Just because a guy gave me a ride home, doesn’t mean you have to make something big from it.”

“I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t witnessed how he was looking at you. And even you’ll have to admit, he was flirty with you.”

I shake my head, dispelling her comment. “He’s probably like that with everyone.”

“He wasn’t that way with me,” she says.

“Well, regardless of how he seemed to you, I won’t be interacting with him in any capacity but a professional one.”

“Except when he texts you about your car,” she reminds me, smirking.

My only reply is to raise my middle finger and hold it in front of her face.