The Whole Package (Hearts to Buy #1)

Carmen

“ C ut!" The director's voice slices through the air, a sharp command that has become all too familiar today. I stand there, feeling the weight of exhaustion in every muscle. Sweat beads along my hairline, and my legs tremble with the strain of the repeated takes. I bite back any hint of complaint, knowing all too well that resilience is as valued as talent in this industry. I brace myself for his next instructions, fighting the acidic sensation rising in my stomach. Mental note to self: remember to eat before a long day on set. "Let's touch them up and redo this whole scene. It's just not working for me," he declares, and despite my best efforts, my eyes betray my frustration, rolling involuntarily.

Quickly, I cast my gaze downward, masking my annoyance from the crew around me. The last thing I need is a reputation for being difficult. In this city, where dreams and careers are made and broken on whims, being labeled a diva is a death sentence for aspiring actors. I've learned that the hard way. Navigating the treacherous waters of Hollywood requires more than just talent; it demands diplomacy, a constant performance off-camera as much as on. To climb the ladder in this cutthroat world, I need to be more than just good; I need to be likable, agreeable, the kind of person everyone wants to work with.

"You okay?" My co-star, Carlisle Jacobs, checks in with a tone that carries genuine concern. His question pulls me out of my own head, and I suddenly feel a pang of guilt. Here I am, caught up in my own discomfort, and I hadn't spared a thought for him. His costume, heavier and undoubtedly more suffocating than mine, must be a burden in these relentless studio lights.

"Yeah," I respond, mustering a smile that I hope looks more genuine than it feels. Acting is second nature to me, and even off-camera, I easily slip into roles. "Are you?" I add, partly out of courtesy and a newfound sense of camaraderie.

"Hanging in there," he replies with a laugh, but the sheen of sweat on his forehead betrays the effort it's costing him. Clearly, he's just as ready to be done with this scene as I am. Carlisle Jacobs is a name that anyone who's ever watched TV would recognize, and here I am, his co-star. It's a big deal, a career milestone. Still, amidst the grueling schedule of today's shoot, we've hardly exchanged words beyond our scripted lines.

It's my first day on set, a whirlwind of takes and retakes, leaving little room for anything beyond the scene's demands. Yet, in this brief exchange, there's a glimmer of connection, a moment of human interaction amidst the chaos. Though seemingly insignificant, Carlisle's small gesture of concern means more to me than he probably realizes.

"No... no, no!" The director's sharp reprimand slices through the air and the layers of my ornate Victorian dress suddenly feel like a leaden weight. His tirade echoes around the set, a litany of dissatisfaction that makes the atmosphere tense and suffocating. "That's enough for today. We'll pick back up tomorrow at 5 AM sharp. Rehearse your lines, look in the mirror, and do something to make it work!" His voice edged with frustration, leaves no room for argument.

I glance at Carlisle, who nods in agreement with the director's orders, a silent, professional acceptance. I quickly mimic his response, but my heart sinks. The director's critical gaze turns sharply towards me, singling me out. "Especially you!" he points, and the ground crumbles under my feet. I stay silent, my throat tight with unvoiced objections. This role was a hard-won victory, a breakthrough opportunity I can't afford to jeopardize with a misplaced word.

"Get your act together. I don't feel the chemistry between you two, and if that's missing, I'll have to find a replacement," he warns his words like a knife to my aspirations. He strides away, leaving a wake of anxiety and self-doubt. Deflated, I stand there, feeling the weight of his words settle over me. The fear of being replaced looms large, a shadow threatening to engulf the dream I've worked so hard to realize. I've given so much of myself to this role and poured my heart and soul into every scene, yet it feels like it's slipping through my fingers.

Fuck!

I can't lose this opportunity. I won't.

"Hey, do you want to grab a drink after we change?" The question tumbles out of my mouth before I can second-guess it. In the wake of the director's scathing critique, I'm grasping for any lifeline to help me salvage the situation. With his natural charm and ease before the camera, Carlisle might just be the key to unlocking the chemistry the director is so desperately seeking.

"Sure," he responds, his grin effortlessly dazzling. It's the kind of smile that could disarm the most guarded souls, and I find myself responding in kind, albeit a bit more cautiously. There's a natural charisma about him that suggests he's well accustomed to the effect he has on others, particularly women. His ease in the limelight and his ability to charm with a mere smile are part of what makes him such a beloved figure on screen.

***

Fresh from the shower, I feel a semblance of myself returning, the hot water washing away the grime and stress of the day's shoot. I hastily consume some of the catered food for the cast and crew. It's nothing gourmet but does its job – fueling my body and grounding me back to reality. I feel human again, not entirely at my peak, but sufficiently revitalized to face the challenges ahead, especially the looming threat of being cut from this second-rate TV show.

Acting isn't just a career for me; it embodies a lifelong dream. I know it's a cliché; every starry-eyed hopeful in this city claims the same, but for me, it's a truth that runs bone-deep. Acting is not just my passion; it's what I excel at. Deep in my heart, I know I have what it takes to shine.

I didn't have the luxury of attending prestigious acting schools. The reality of a single mother's budget meant that those doors were closed to me. But that never dampened my determination. Throughout high school, while juggling shifts as a waitress, I scraped together enough money to enroll in every accessible acting course. I scoured the internet for workshops, devoured every piece of acting advice I could find, and practiced relentlessly, all to hone my craft.

Every bit of knowledge and every technique I learned was a step toward realizing my dream. I've come a long way from those days of waitressing and late-night rehearsals. Standing here on the TV show set, despite its lack of prestige, feels like a vindication of all those years of hard work and sacrifice.

My world of acting, once narrow and confined, expanded exponentially the day I met Ana. She was a revelation, a mentor who pulled back the curtain on the harsh realities of this glittering industry. Ana showed me that talent, while crucial, was just one piece of a much larger, more complex puzzle.

Under her tutelage, I learned the unspoken rules of Hollywood, the intricate dance of networking and leveraging relationships. She made it clear: Money and connections are the lifeblood of this industry. They open doors that raw talent alone cannot, grease the wheels of opportunity, and set the stage for success.

With Ana's guidance, I began navigating Hollywood's labyrinthine world with a new perspective. I attended every industry event I could, rubbing shoulders with producers, directors, and fellow actors. Each handshake and each exchanged business card was a potential stepping stone to bigger and better roles. I learned to present myself as an actress and a brand, a package deal that could bring value to any project. This revelation was both disheartening and empowering. The realization that my passion and skill might take a backseat to financial clout and who I knew was a bitter pill to swallow. But it also taught me how to play the game by its rules and use the system to my advantage.

Ana explained that you have to be more than talented in this world. You have to be savvy, relentless, and sometimes ruthless. You must make the right friends, align with the right power players, and, most importantly, always be ready to seize an opportunity.

"You ready?" Carlisle's voice cuts through my reverie, bringing me sharply back to the present moment.

"Yeah," I reply, offering him a smile that's as much a part of my actress's toolkit as the lines I memorize. Rising from one of the lounge chairs scattered around the set, I feel his gaze following me, taking in the careful choice of my attire.

"There's a cozy place right around the corner. Nice drinks and good music," I suggest, feeling a surge of satisfaction as his eyes linger appreciatively over my figure. My outfit is a calculated choice – form-fitting to accentuate my curves, yet leaving enough to the imagination to spark intrigue. My long red hair cascades in waves over my shoulders, a striking contrast to the subtle hues of my dress, and my heels add an extra edge of elegance to my posture.

It's gratifying how his gaze hovers, tracing the lines of my body before finally meeting my eyes again. In those few seconds, I know he's taken in every detail, every deliberate nuance of my appearance. His lingering look tells me that the effort I've put into presenting myself tonight hasn't gone unnoticed. I can't suppress a slight, triumphant grin at this realization.

"Sounds good, and you look great," he compliments, his words casual yet appreciative.

"Thanks, you too," I respond, maintaining our interaction's easy, flirtatious tone.