The Wolf’s Pregnant Rejected Mate (Bluebell Valley Wolves #2)

Chapter 5 - Tess

Tess made sure the blanket covered her as she sat down on the floor. Her muscles ached, and her eyes were still bothered by her tears. But she didn’t lay down. She’d been considering trying to sleep until Ryder told her to. That wasn’t to say it was just spite keeping her awake.

But it was also the fact that she didn’t want to end up talking in her sleep. After the cry she’d had and the emotions still bubbling through her, she knew she wouldn’t sleep soundly. Which meant it was likely she’d end up sleeping shallowly. And if the past were anything to judge, she’d end up talking about Ryder while she dreamed.

“You should sleep,” Ryder said again. His voice was slightly softer this time.

“I don’t want to,” Tess responded.

Ryder glanced at her, but with the moonlight behind his head, she couldn’t see his face. He turned back out the window, and that was it. Tess watched him, the chill of the night stealing over her. Even with the blanket and underclothes covering her, she would be more comfortable in her wolf form. But then they wouldn’t have the chance to talk.

Not that they’d talk anyway. But she wanted to keep the possibility open. That wasn’t too silly, right? Ryder might need a discussion to stay awake as the night wore on. He couldn’t just stand there at the window, not moving, until dawn.

The silver light silhouetted him, turning him into an unmoving statue. Tess wished she could see his face and feel some emotion from him.

The first time she had met him came to mind. She, Ryder, and Mica had all been in Elementary School. It was well before she and Mica had become friends. Before, she was an outcast. At that time, she was a lonely child but more by choice than anything else. Tess didn’t relate to the children her own age and so chose to spend time in her own company rather than trying to make friends.

***

Tess sat at the edge of the schoolyard among a group of daisies. They bowed and swayed in the light wind as though they were saying Hello, how are you? She had her rag doll, Molly, the one that she had made with Grandma last year. Molly sat on the grass next to her, her stitched yarn smile beaming at the beautiful little flowers.

“Should we pick the daisies and make flower crowns, Molly?” Tess asked.

She grabbed Molly and made her shake her head. “No, Tess. The flowers are too pretty. If we pick them, they’ll die. Let’s just leave them here so we can come visit them every day.”

Tess nodded. Molly was very smart. “You’re right. If we leave them, we can see them every day!”

A shadow fell over her, making her flinch. Tess hugged Molly to her chest and looked up. She expected one of the teachers to tell her to get inside for Moon’s sake; lunch was over. Instead, she saw a boy. His hair was short and spiky as if he hadn’t brushed it before coming to school. Tess stared at him, and he stared back at her.

She had seen him at school before. The boy recited a poem at the talent show last year. She couldn’t remember the poem, just that his voice had been light and soothing. Her father, Lenard, said it was a shame, but she wasn’t sure what he’d been talking about. She thought it was a nice poem.

He kept staring at her without uttering a word.

Had she done something wrong? Was he upset with her? Did he want to sit with the flowers?

Tess chewed her lip. He didn’t look angry. He only looked thoughtful, as though he was deciding something. Her shoulders were hunched all the same. She was too used to getting yelled at if someone looked at her for too long. Why wasn’t he saying anything?

“What do you want?” she finally squeaked. Her voice was soft and low. Her mother, Hilda, always said that proper she-wolves were soft and low. They didn’t get loud and rambunctious, which Tess was prone to do when she got too excited about something.

“My name is Ryder,” the boy said. “What’s yours?”

“Tess.”

Ryder nodded as though that decided everything. “Well, Tess. One day, you’re going to be my mate.”

Tess’s jaw dropped. “But we’re only kids!”

“Yeah. But when we’re adults, you’re going to be my mate,” Ryder said with a shrug.

He sounded so certain about it.

Tess didn’t know what to think. It was certainly strange that this boy would announce that they’d be mates when they’d never even spoken before. But then, Hilda said that this was how it worked sometimes. And she was always told that she needed to respect the men of the pack and obey them.

That must mean it was true. She was his mate. She nodded.

“Okay,” she said, hugging Molly close to her chest. “When are we going to have the mating ceremony?”

“When we’re twenty. Wait.” Ryder frowned. “How old are you?”

“Seven.”

Ryder thought a moment, then nodded. “I’m older than you. I’m nine. So we’ll have the mating ceremony when you’re twenty. I’ll be twenty-two. Yeah.”

He nodded again.

Tess frowned. “My mother had her mating ceremony when she was seventeen. I want to have mine when I’m sixteen.”

“No, that’s too young,” Ryder said, waving his hand. “Twenty is a good age.”

She knew she ought just to obey him, but she huffed. Why should he be the one to decide everything without talking to her? Sure, Lenard decided everything that happened in the family without talking to Hilda, but this was about her, too. Wasn’t it? Hilda always said that mating ceremonies were for women and that men didn’t care about that sort of thing.

“I—” Tess started.

A shrill scream interrupted them. Tess jumped to her feet, heart pounding. She whirled to see that Mica was hanging onto the monkey bars. She clung on for dear life as another student in his wolf form bit down on her hair. Several others shifted to their wolf form and started yipping and howling as they jumped at her.

Tess resisted the urge to run. Running would only turn her into prey, too. She clutched her doll to her chest, eyes wide.

She wasn’t aware of the moment Ryder left her. She only knew that suddenly he was there, ramming into the wolf that bit Mica’s hair. He wheeled about, biting hard into the wolf’s shoulder—a pained yelp shot across the schoolyard.

Another girl, Elin, raced to put her arms around Mica. Mica dropped from the monkey bars, and the two of them ran for the school. One of the bullies tried to go after them, but Ryder pounced on that wolf, tearing at his ear. Tess’s heart pounded as she watched. She should shift and go help him. It was her job as his future mate, right?

Proper she-wolves don’t fight. Her mother’s voice rang in her ears. Nobody wants a girl who bares her teeth. If you can’t get out of a situation without violence, you shouldn’t have been in that situation in the first place.

Teachers came bolting out of the school. Within moments, it was all over. The fight was broken up, and Ryder was dragged into the building by his ear. Tess took a step forward—it wasn’t fair that he was punished when he was only defending his sister.

She stopped. Nobody would listen to her anyway. She would only get in trouble, and the teachers would tell her parents.

She shuddered as the rest of the students were called back to class. At least she had a wolf. She wasn’t targeted by the other students like Mica was. Tess’s heart ached. She wished she could do more, but what could she do?

When Tess returned Molly to her pack, Mica and Elin weren’t in class. She found her seat and lowered her head, hoping nobody would look at her. If they did, they might see her jealousy. Mica might not have a wolf, but her mother would come to the school. Echo would yell at the teachers, which would be the opposite of what a she-wolf should be.

And Tess wished she had a mother and brother who would look out for her like that.

Who loved her.

She wrapped her arms around herself and let out a little sigh. At least she knew she’d have a mate one day. And Ryder would look after her when they were grown. She just had to make sure she became a proper she-wolf so he’d still want her when the time came.

***

Was it because she wasn’t a proper she-wolf? Was that why Ryder had rejected her when she begged him to make good on his promise when they were children? More likely, he didn’t even remember that day. She wasn’t important enough for him to think about.

Her shoulders slumped as the dark thoughts worked their way in. The voice sounded like her parents’. She could hear the exact cadence of their words as they scolded her.

It didn’t matter that she hadn’t spoken to them in nearly ten years. It didn’t matter that most of the time, they pretended they didn’t have a daughter anymore. Their voices still rang in Tess’s head, no matter how hard she tried to silence them. She’d fought for herself in these last ten years. Fought to find her self-worth in being who she was.

The pack always placed a heavy expectation on its members.

As she watched Ryder now, she wondered what expectations he was held under. He had an unmarried mother and a vulnerable sister. Being the only acceptable protector for them for so long must have been difficult.

Tess sighed softly, some of the tension easing from her shoulders. Perhaps she had been judging him too harshly for too long. Maybe he was weighed down just as much as she was.

It still stung that he rejected her. But she couldn’t keep dwelling on the why of it. Unless Ryder wanted to tell her, there wasn’t anything she could do to figure it out. So, it was best just to move on. The important thing was that he was protecting her now.

And that was more than she had learned to expect from anymore.