The Wolf’s Pregnant Rejected Mate (Bluebell Valley Wolves #2)

Chapter 21 - Tess

Tess’s head spun. Did he really just say that? The mating ceremony. He wanted her as his mate. Was that what he was saying? She stared up at him, her hands frozen in her lap. One month of experimenting sexually with one another followed by another month where they barely spoke to each other. And now he was saying they would have the mating ceremony.

“I don’t want to ask your parents for permission,” Ryder said as he paced back and forth. “It’s none of their business, and they have no right to decide whether you can take me as your mate or not.”

“But that’s not what the permission is for,” Tess murmured. “It’s giving you permission to have me.”

Ryder snorted. “And they don’t deserve any say in this matter. We’ll get special permission from Hayden to circumvent them. We’re both adults. I’m sure it won’t be an issue.”

Tess watched him pace as he planned to get everything they needed for the ceremony. She should be swooning with happiness, but all she felt was a growing knot in the pit of her stomach. This wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to feel elated when someone asked her to be his mate.

Maybe that was the problem.

Ryder hadn’t asked. He’d merely said they’d have the ceremony. Didn’t ask her if she wanted it or not.

Worse, she knew in the pit of her stomach this was only because she was pregnant. He had decided this because he knew what it was like to be raised by a mateless mother. He didn’t want her. He only pitied her. If she weren’t pregnant, he’d never be saying this.

“We’ll need a house,” Ryder continued, still pacing. “We can’t live with my mother, and you have Elin living with you. I can’t do a lot of house hunting right now, but we can discuss our budget, and then I’m afraid you’ll have to look for them on your own.”

She didn’t want to be locked into a mating with someone who didn’t love her. She could see life with Ryder. It would be passionate; it would be comfortable. But it would also be lonely. The only thing they had to connect them was fighting and fucking, and that just wasn’t enough. Tears pooled in Tess’s eyes as her wolf pawed at her chest.

“No,” she said softly.

Ryder stopped his pacing. “I need to catch the demon in that big wolf, Tess. I want to be more involved in finding a house and preparing for the baby, but my first duty has to be protecting the pack from further attacks. It’s especially important now. We know the demons are targeting you.”

Tess got to her feet. She felt unsettled as she pulled in a soft breath. “That’s not it. I’m saying no, Ryder. There won’t be a mating ceremony. We’re not moving in together.”

“What do you mean?” Ryder’s eyebrows pulled together, his dark blue eyes intense.

“I mean that I won’t take you as my mate,” Tess said. She could barely hear herself, but her wolf whimpered at every word. Tears burned her eyes as she stared at the floor. “You’ll be a father, and I hope we can raise this baby amicably together, but I can’t go through with a mating ceremony.”

She waited, praying for him to say something. For him to understand where she was coming from, or just something. Her heart felt as though it was breaking. If she didn’t have these lingering feelings for him, maybe this wouldn’t be so hard.

“We’d be miserable together,” she continued, hating the silence. “Up until two months ago, we couldn’t even have a civil conversation. I’m not going to bring a child into an environment where they have to live with two people who hate each other. I saw that enough with my parents. I won’t put a baby through that. And I won’t put myself through it, either. I’m sorry, Ryder. I’m so sorry.”

Her gaze flicked to his face. The tears blurred her vision, and she turned and fled the house before they could clear. She didn’t want to see his expression, and she didn’t want to have to process it.

She should have been smarter. Should have insisted on using protections. That was her responsibility, after all. And she didn’t even have the luxury of saying she hadn’t thought of it.

The last thing she wanted was to baby-trap Ryder.

As she rushed through the streets, all she wanted to do was run out of there, to go to the forest and just run forever. If she wasn’t pregnant, she might just take the risk of the demons if it meant running away from these emotions. Instead, she headed toward her house. Elin would be at her job, which meant she’d have the safety of four walls and no listening ears to truly break down.

It was the right choice, even if her wolf kept plaintively howling. How was she supposed to live with Ryder, knowing he hadn’t really wanted her? They enjoyed the sex, but they had agreed it didn’t mean they were mates.

How was it that today, when she rejected him, could have the same impact as the day he rejected her?

***

Tess’s wolf whimpered and cowered in her chest as she hurried through the streets. Her stomach knotted as she tried to find him. The one person who could save her from this mess. The memory of that playground when Ryder told her that one day they’d be mates rang clear in her mind. He was leaving today, along with a bunch of the other boys.

If she could just get to him, she could tell him she was ready, they could be mates, and he would take her away from this place. Tess had been patient; she figured he wanted time to establish himself before sending for her.

It had been over ten years since he told her they’d be mates. He hadn’t brought it up again, hadn’t spent a lot of time with her. But unlike most of the boys in high school, he also didn’t date anyone. He’d been laser-focused on his future. So that had to mean that he remembered, didn’t it?

She had to get to him before he left, and it was too late.

Alpha Monroe had visited the house last night. Lenard had had Tess cook all day and served the Alpha course after course. She’d been confused about what was happening, especially why Hilda kept smiling knowingly at her.

Later, after she had been sent to bed, she had snuck to the kitchen for a midnight snack. She’d been so busy during dinner she hadn’t eaten anything herself.

Lenard and Monroe were in the living room, talking. Tess didn’t mean to eavesdrop, moving as quietly as she could. But what she heard froze her to the spot.

“That girl of yours is pretty and young,” Monroe said. “Nice tits and ass. She’ll be good as a second mate. I need sons.”

Lenard laughed. “I’m honored that you want her. She’s not a bad girl, really. A firm hand is needed to keep her from running up her flights of fancy, but I’m sure you’ll sort her out quickly enough. Shall we discuss recompense? I’ll have to hire a worker to take over the work she does around here.”

Second mate.

Sons.

She hadn’t slept at all, tossing and turning and feeling sick to her stomach. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—be mate to that awful alpha. The thought of him touching her, of his child growing inside of her, made her want to slit her own wrists.

There they were! The big van that the military sent to pick up the boys. Tess’s gaze ran over them. Blayke, Kai, Maverick, Hayden. Ah! There he was—Ryder. Tess slowed as she approached. They were just tossing their duffle bags into the back. Her stomach twisted, feeling the crush of bodies around her. There were so many people around.

And if she didn’t ask him, she would be trapped forever, and what choice would she have but to accept Monroe? Her father had already made the agreements…

She swallowed dryly as she watched Ryder, hoping he’d turn around. Memories flooded through her. The day on the playground when he said she’d be his mate. School dances where he sat and talked with her. Times she’d struggled with her schoolwork and he helped tutor her. And, of course, the way he always stood up for his sister.

Tess’s wolf whimpered. She steeled her courage and marched up to her mate.

“Ryder,” she said. Her voice trembled despite herself.

He turned, and his brown eyebrows rose in surprise. “Tess?”

How did she say this? How could she explain everything? She twisted her hands, the fear of what she’d heard last night still flooding through her. “Ryder. I… I want to ask you something.”

“What?” Ryder’s one-word answer was clipped.

“I… will you… take me with you,” she exclaimed finally, abandoning all caution. “Take me as your mate, and take me with you.”

Ryder stared at her blankly. The other boys shifted from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable.

“Please,” Tess begged. “I want to be your mate.”

Ryder opened his mouth. His expression didn’t change. “No.”

Her heart dropped. No? But he’d said… he… promised…

“No,” Ryder repeated. Then he got into the van and stared straight ahead.

The weight of the stares on her was suffocating. Tess did the only thing she could—she ran. She ran through the town and into the forest. She shifted to wolf form and kept running, determined she would get lost and die in the forest rather than be Monroe’s mate.

***

It was that determination, that certainty that she would rather be dead than Monroe’s mate, that saved her. It gave her the strength to reject him, to face the backlash that came with it. After all, life as an outcast wasn’t as bad as starving to death in the woods.

She had survived the worst times in her life. She would survive this, too.

Finally, she was at her home. Tess stumbled in, ready to have a complete breakdown. But through her tears, she spied a pair of shoes at the entrance. Elin was home. Fuck! Why did she have to be home now of all times?

“Tess?” Elin called. “I’m making some supper. Do you want some?”

“I’m good,” Tess called back, but the words ended up strangled on their way out.

She didn’t make it to her room before Elin appeared. Her brows pinched together, worry in her eyes. “Are you okay?”

Tess didn’t want to tell Elin anything. Didn’t want Elin to be the first person to find out. But the pain that ripped through her was too much. Her strength gave out, and she sank to the floor, sobbing and shaking her head.

Elin rushed to her. “Tess! What’s the matter? What happened?”

“Ryder,” Tess choked out. “He asked me to be his mate.”

Confusion knit Elin’s eyebrows together.

“I rejected him,” Tess sobbed. “I rejected him.”