The Wrangler (The Yacht Club #2)

Chapter 19

Nineteen

ALEX

“Brother, did you sleep here?”

I lean back on my heels and stare up at Gabe. “We’re racing time, bro. Gotta finish this phase before the snows hit and we can’t get any subs out here.”

“We’re ahead of schedule on the second phase of condos and I thought you had a team coming to do the tiling.”

Tile sucks. I hate working on my knees and cutting and recutting each piece until it fits perfectly. But it’s better than hanging around the Sunflower waiting for Sarah Jane to reappear. Waiting for my heart to start beating again. Waiting to give a shit about anything. “Figured I could make some progress before they show up. Should be here in an hour.”

He frowns at me. “Alright. I’m gonna check the fixtures in unit 301 and 302. Painters should be here soon. And Delilah said she might drop by.

I groan. I’ve been avoiding anyone and everyone who was at the soft opening. Everyone who witnessed my complete failure. Especially her. Maybe I can take lunch when she shows up and let Gabe deal with her. Again.

I drop to my knees and focus on the tile. At least there’s something I’m good at. Might as well hang up my ropes forever. Or I would if they weren’t long gone to the landfill. I still have a few lengths in my closet. When we move out of the Sunflower, I’ll toss them too. Everyone still thinks I’m staying here, living at the resort, but I figure I’m better off heading back to my cousin in St. Louis. Or maybe I’ll head up to Montana or down to Florida. Nothing really tying me to any of these places except people who pity me. At least in a new place I can start over. No clubs. No women. No risk. Can’t lose everything if you give it away.

It’s well after dark when I let myself into the Sunflower that night. There’s a single light on in the kitchen. Amy probably saved me a plate. I leave my tool bag on the first stair to take up after I eat. The small bath has a fancy towel, so I shake off my hands good enough and grab a paper towel before I shove my plate in the microwave for three minutes like Amy’s note said to do. She’s like a mom, taping notes to plates of food in the fridge. My momma used to do that for me when we did two-a-days for football. I love that she cares and I hate that I disappointed her. Both of them. I take my plate and my drink to the dining room not bothering with a light. But as soon as I sit down, the overhead flips on.

Stone.

I close my eyes before I tilt my head to the ceiling. No avoiding the conversation any longer. The chair across from me shifts against the flooring. I open my eyes to face Stone sitting across from me. Rather than give in and talk a shove a bite of casserole in my mouth. Fuck . It’s hot. I open my mouth around my food and huff air in and out in an attempt to cool it. Kind of rude but so is waiting in the dark to ambush me.

Finally, I’m able to chew and swallow. I take a gulp of milk.

“Working late again.”

I nod and blow on my next bite of dinner.

“Delilah says you’re ahead of schedule. Having to rearrange the subs to get them in earlier.”

“Weather could shift at any time. Mountains are unpredictable.” I shove the forkful in and chew carefully.

“I heard every word that night, including ‘Yellow.’ You have no reason to second guess yourself.”

I swallow. Put my fork on the plate. “Whatever you need to say, say it. Because this is the last time I’m talking about it.”

“You did everything right. You’re an excellent Dom.”

“Not a Dom. A top.”

“Everything. Perfectly. Excellent at what you do, the precautions you take. Nothing that went wrong that night was your fault or failure.”

Sure the fuck feels like it. But what the fuck would Stone know about being inadequate. Fucker is made of granite and authority. I’m just some podunk cowboy with a fucking lasso and a fixation on Japanese culture. Too bad I don’t like Sushi. Would have been so much simpler than my passion for tying women up.

“Same is true for what happened in Texas.”

How the fuck does he know what happened in Texas? I’m about to ask him, but he cuts me off.

“You had Dom drop and you haven’t come back from it.”

“What are you talking about?” Might have been true at the time when I was in the scene with SJ, but that’s been… two weeks and three days. I’m over it. Soon I’ll be over her. Any day now.

“Dom drop. Like sub drop. But at this point a blanket, some chocolate, and a cuddle ain’t gonna fix it.”

“Well thank fuck for small favors, because I’m not sure I could handle you trying to cuddle me, Stone. Doing the dad, sneak-up conversation is about all I can take.”

“I’ll hug you if you need a damn hug. But that won’t fix this. You need to scene again.”

“No. I don’t.” Not now. Not ever. Done with that.

“You’re doing a demonstration. Grand opening. Get your shit figured out. Tyler ordered some ropes for you. Should be here in the next few days. Plenty of time for you to prep them and think about what you want to do for the demo.”

What I want to do is not give a demonstration. “Don’t have a partner.”

“Cassie said she’d do it.”

“Cassie, the bartender?”

“There a problem?”

Did he growl at me? Also he’s puffed up and there’s murder in his eyes. This man knows five ways to kill me at this table with no additional tools. Not sure how I forgot that for the moment. “No problem at all. Figured she would be busy working.”

“We have plenty of backup. You’re doing the scene.”

“Fine.”

Stone goes upstairs leaving me to wonder when he talked to Cassie and Tyler. And who else was in on this plan? And what the fuck I’m going to do with a sub I can’t touch? Because I’m certain if I touch her in any kind of sexual way—not that I would—Stone will come unhinged and no one will ever find my body. Even if he doesn’t realize it, I have no doubt.

SJ

The flight to Charleston was too easy. And the ride share had no problem finding their way to my cousin’s house. Hard to miss the multi-story white historical mansion with black shutters blocks from the Ashley River. My cousin has done very well for herself. I grab my roller case from the sidewalk and heft it up ten brick stairs to the enamel black door with a brass pineapple knocker. I texted her I would be in the city for work so she’s expecting me, but I still hesitate. She has a husband, kids, and I’m carrying past troubles to her doorstep.

It’s for Alex. And for her. I went on with my life when hers fell apart like she didn’t even matter. I owe her an apology. I lift the knocker and rap I twice. The wrought iron fencing holds my attention as I wait for someone to answer. It’s simple but elegant. Understated and probably expensive. The door, at least eight feet tall opens soundlessly and my beautiful blonde cousin, not touched by the years that have passed, or the kids she’s had, is standing inside a tall narrow hallway inviting me in. I wipe my feet as if I can scrape off the dirt I’m bringing with me.

I leave my bag in the entry to the side of the door and follow her into the all white kitchen with stainless steel appliances.

“It’s so good to see you Sarah Jane. How was your flight?”

I let her make small talk while she puts two glasses of iced tea on a tray along with a plate of cookies.

“Where are the kids?” It would be nice to meet my…not nephews. Cousins, with some kind of math attached like second and removed.

“Preschool and the sitter. I didn’t want to miss a moment to catch up. How many days are you here for?”

“Two. I head back Friday night.” Wednesday is the cheapest day to fly out here and I can’t afford the hotel until Monday, so it was a compromise.

“You should stay with us. If it’s not to far from where you’re working.”

“I don’t want to be an inconvenience.” Or for her to realize I lied about coming out for work.

She laughs. “It’s no bother. We have bedrooms to spare.”

“The company paid for the room. But thank you. It’s so great to see you again. It’s been so long. Time flies and all that.” Why am I awkward around the person who used to be my favorite family member? Because we have to have a hard conversation.

We sit at a small round glass table in two of the four white cane chairs with padded seats. The windows in the round room make it feel like we’re outside, sitting under the green leafed trees. “Your home is beautiful.”

“It’s been in Charles’s family forever. I’d rather be on the Isle of Palms in a modern build. Less upkeep, bigger rooms, closer to the beach, but he loves this old place.” There’s a fondness in her tone.

“Are you happy? Is he good to you?” I suddenly have to know that she’s okay.

“He’s my best friend and yes, he’s very good to me. Even indulges my occasional wildness. We met when I started at the high school here. It wasn’t easy transitioning my entire life as a senior. No friends. No cheerleading team. No familiarity at all.”

“I can’t imagine. Why’d your mom make such a big move then? Wouldn’t it have been better to wait one more year?” I’m pushing and she might toss me out, but I have to know the truth, if she’ll tell me. If she can be honest with herself.

She sips her tea. I break one of the cookies in half and take a bite. The buttery dough melts in my mouth, pecans tasting like home.

“I’ve thought about that time a lot since you called. It was the worst moment of my life.”

“Because Alex hurt you?”

“No. Not at all. We’d waited so long. I had to beg him because I knew he would be busy on the ranch. Might even decide to go to tech school or something. I would be stuck in town, finishing my senior year. I wanted that connection to him.”

“What happened?” Please don’t say he hurt you. I can’t believe that about him.

“My father caught us. Arrested Alex. Grounded me for life.” She shakes her head.

“What about him tying you?”

She gapes at me. “You know about that?”

I nod not sure how much to say.

“I blocked it out that time in my life so hard, left it all behind. I have a new life that I love. But it’s a life that depends on appearance and duty in some ways. I’m the wife of a prominent doctor, from a prominent family, in a social circle I wasn’t born to. I’ve had to learn how to fit in. And I wanted to. There’s nothing about my life I would change except for what my dad did all those years ago. But if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met Charles. He’s truly my person.”

I understand what she means. Alex could have been my person. Would have been under different circumstances. But circumstances are all we have to work with.

“I don’t want to upset your apple cart, but your daddy went after Alex. And he used me to do it.”

“Oh God. Sarah Jane, did my father get violent with you?”

“No.” But the fact she went there first tells me why her momma left the asshole. “He used compromising pictures of me.” I give her the worlds shortest version of the tale of my greatest shame. Well second greatest now that betraying Alex has moved into the number one spot.

“That man is the devil. I hate that he’s my father. I look for signs of him in my kids in case it’s genetic. But they’re both little gentlemen, like their daddy.” Alyss smiles and her eyes go soft. She really is happy.

“I fell in love with Alex.”

“What?” A carbon copy of my own blue eyes lasers in on me.

“In Colorado, I was living out there in an inn where Alex lives and I got to know him.” I bite my lip while searching for the right word. “Intimately.”

“Oh my. Has he changed much, since you knew him back in high school”

“I didn’t really remember him. I only met him a couple of times, and he was yours so I didn’t pay that close attention.” I hesitate, but I can’t help but tell her how great he is. “He works in construction. He’s really talented both with building and managing others. He’s a total gentleman too.”

“Does he…is he still into martial arts?” She’s focused on the table, can’t meet my eyes. It’s clear what she’s really asking.

“He’s still into ropes.”

Her cheeks turn red.

“There’s nothing wrong with that as long as it’s consensual.” There I’ve opened the door for her.

“No. There’s not.” Her voice is barely above a whisper. “I tried to explain that to my father. Tried to talk him out of arresting Alex. Tried to talk him into dropping the charges, that everything Alex did, I asked for.” She cups her cheek, gaze still unfocused. “He hit me. Called me a slut and a liar.” She lifts her chin, her gaze pointed and fierce. “That’s when my momma left him and took me with her.”

Hate for M.D. Littlejohn churns in my gut. What a complete bastard. “He was wrong.”

“I broke up their marriage. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t violent. Not until that night.”

“That you know of.”

She waves her hand to dispel my argument. “My family was steady until that night, maybe not the picture of love, but solid. Alex was gone before I got to say goodbye. We left a day later. I put that part of my life in the past and moved on. Otherwise, I would have lost my mind.”

“Did you love Alex?”

“As much as a teen girl could I suppose. We were like chess pieces on a board. Meant to be together, football king and perky cheerleader. We might have married. Had some kids and our own kind of solid, steady life. Easy. Like a thousand other stories.”

Does she have any idea how spectacular that kind of life sounds to me? A little house on some land, a man I love, and kids who are happy. Does she have any idea that despite it being a thousand stories—an ordinary miracle—it’s still a miracle when it happens? “You were always meant for more. Always shined a little to bright for that town.”

She nods like I see her. And I do. But I’m not sure she sees anyone else.

“I love my life here. I love what I’ve become and how I’ve found my place in such a rare community. People here wouldn’t understand what I was doing with Alex. I’m not even sure I do.” She laughs, but it sounds like the laugh in a play, rehearsed and only for effect.

I check my watch. “I have dinner with a client tonight, so I have to get checked into my hotel.”

“Oh no. I was hoping you could stay for dinner and meet Charles and the kids.” It’s a sweet lie. But now that I’ve confessed my connection with Alex, I’m part of her past she’s still trying to erase. I can’t blame her. I’d gladly take my own eraser to my past if that was possible.

“I would love to meet them if I can before I go. I’m sorry this is such a rushed trip, but I’m glad I got to see you. One thing before I go. Your dad is still going after Alex, but there is a lawyer trying to help him. I told him my story. If you want to help, for old times sake, put a wrong to right, I’ll leave you his card.” I had her the tiny rectangle that could change Alex’s world. “I’m really happy for you and the life you’ve created. A life that fits you.”

She walks me out still clinging to the card. There’s still a shred of hope in me that my cousin will do the right thing. She’s a good person, even if she is caught in the trappings of a life I don’t understand or even want to.

Back at the hotel I stare at my laptop, reread the words I’ve written in my book and try to come up with a happily ever after. It’s a required ending, but I’m having trouble imagining one. I close the lid and pull out my bundled rope to practice my self ties. The bundle Alex gave me for practice before he hated me. The ropes pressing into my skin is the only way I can feel connected to him, the only way I feel grounded and like I might have a future.

I spend the next day checking out a plantation and walking on the beach. No point in coming all the way out here and not seeing some stuff. The plantation is off-putting. A history of a culture I struggle to relate to and the enthroned ruins of a past that has never been healed. The beach speaks to me. The waves wash on the shore like a heartbeat not like they crashed against the land in California, the one time I saw it. This ocean is soft in its strength, no need to scream it. I hope my cousin will find her inner strength and help Alex. I hope I’m able to find mine and figure out how to live without him. Someday.