The Wrangler (The Yacht Club #2)

Chapter 21

Twenty-One

SJ

I’m working on a graphics gig for a fantasy author when the email comes in. Grand opening of the Yacht Club . They must not have scrubbed the list before the notice went out because I’m sure they didn’t intend to invite me. But now that I’ve seen the invite, I want nothing more than to be there. Receiving the invite, doesn’t mean they would let me in the door. Besides, what would I do when I got there?

I close the message and get back to work. Freelancing has been a greater success than I expected. I’m getting more word of mouth recommendations. Enough to pay my bills and put a little bit back into savings. Enough that I haven’t looked for another corporate job. Enough to keep my mind off Alex during the day.

The nights are a different story. I dream of walking down the hallway in the Sunflower and finding him with his hand around his cock, stroking its length, and calling my name. I dream of him tying me up and fucking me senseless. Some nights are ugly and I dream of falling and him not being there to catch me. Or worse, watching as I drop. I still practice with my one length of rope. Watch all the videos on self-tying I can find. I’ve even priced out one of the tripod suspension devices that can be setup in a living room. They aren’t cheap, but it is tempting.

Maybe I’ll spring for it if I ever finish my book. I fiddle with the sentences, tweak the tension, up the sensual scenes, but I can’t write the ending. I joined a writers group online and asked for advice. One of them responded requesting details about the grand gesture. I don’t think my book has one. Unless a silent standoff could be considered a gesture. It’s more like flipping the bird at each other. If I were writing a Western, this would be when the whistling music would play and the bullets would fly. Pretty sure that ending would kill any chance of marketing my book as a romance.

I finish the graphic job and submit it a couple hours later. Unable to resist, I open the invite again. It’s good. I could have designed something a little better, but it’s not bad. Has all the pertinent info which is a win and low bar that is missed more often than not. I continue to study it as an idea takes shape. A terrible idea. A totally bad plan. I’ll need help to pull it off. Amy would tell Tyler, so it can’t be her. Stone scares me too much to approach with my horrible plan.

I scroll through my contacts. Katherine.

I stare at the number, not ready to dial it. I put my phone down and check for more gigs.

It takes me two more days to find the courage to call.

“Hello?” Katherine sounds wary when she answers.

“Hey, Katherine. It’s SJ, Sarah Jane.” Hopefully she doesn’t hang up.

“It’s been a while. How are you?” There’s a hint of frost in her tone. I deserve it.

“Getting by. I’m calling because I got an invitation the grand opening.” My stomach knots, waiting for her to tell me it was a mistake.

“Are you planning to attend?”

“Maybe.” I shrug even though she can’t see me. “I assume you are. Gabe has worked so hard on the construction. And I checked out the website. It’s stunning.”

“You gave me some great copy to work with. And of course we won’t miss it. At least the first part.”

“I saw there’s supposed to be a rope demonstration.”

“Alex. Not sure how he’ll have the energy. He and Gabe have put so many hours into making sure everything is perfect, organizing the subs and inspections. But it’s all coming together. Thought I’d lose my mind when Alex went home for a week.”

Alex was in Texas?

“I barely saw Gabe and we had preteen twin boys staying with us.”

I don’t know how they manage being foster parents. I can’t take care of a houseplant at this point. But Katherine is older than me. And Gabe was in the military so he probably learned to run a tight ship.

“Do you still have the boys?” Maybe that’s why they aren’t staying.

“No, moved on to family members. That’s usually better for the kids. So if you’re coming out, we have plenty of room if you need a place to stay.”

“Really?” Maybe that wasn’t frost. Maybe it’s just Katherine’s New York accent coming through.

“I assume you’re coming out here to make a big apology?”

Ouch. But she’s not wrong. “I have to try. I miss him so much.” I miss all of them.

“For what it’s worth, I think Alex misses you, too.”

My heart pounds in my chest with longing and hope. “I probably should have tried to call him.”

“Some things are best done in person. You know, I absolutely believe in redemption. People make mistakes, especially if they’re listening to family. But when you’re in the wrong, you have to apologize as big or bigger than the amount of pain you inflicted. Alex didn’t deserve what happened to him.”

“No he didn’t. He’s a good and honorable man. And you’re right. I owe him an apology not because I miss him, but because I hurt him. Even if he doesn’t accept it, I still want to make it.” It’s the truth, but it will be so difficult to survive if he rejects me. Probably as difficult as it was for him when my uncle cut Alex’s ropes.

“Email me the details of your flight. Gabe will pick you up at the airport.”

I promise to send her the details as soon as I have a flight booked and thank her profusely for her advice and assistance. Now I just have to figure out how to make an apology as big as he deserves.

I break off from Katherine and Gabe to linger in the shadows. The grand opening crowd is much bigger than the one for the soft opening, but they still clump into groups. The butterflies in my stomach have grown to the size of dragons. My knees shake with every step and turn. If I run into Alex before I’m ready, I could fail miserably. No matter how hard I search, I don’t see him.

His lawyer, Zach, is standing next to the man who offered Stone a business card during my walk of shame. Blake, Eliot, and Cade are joined by Graci, the PT from the rehab place, Pierce, and another man who might be the infamous Reed. It’s almost too much pretty to take in at once. I slip out of their line of sight. Amy and Tyler have found Katherine and Gabe and they hare having an animated conversation. Gabe and Tyler laugh, so I hope it’s not about me.

“I wondered if you’d show up.”

I freeze, the air in my lungs turns to lead. Slowly, I will my body to turn and face Stone. He’s not surprised at all that I’m here. “Did you send me the invitation?”

“Did you come to make things right?”

“If I can.”

“Alex needs a sub for his demo.”

“I’m sure he’s had multiple volunteers.” There are dozens of beautiful women dressed far more daringly than I am in my short black skirt and leather bustier that laces up the front. I spent far too much on a top I might never wear again, but as Katherine reminded me, I only get one shot at this apology.

Stone has somehow led me to the bar. He pulls out a stool. “Hop up.”

This is a bad idea. Alex could spot me and I can’t hide. I do it anyway because a worse idea is arguing with Stone.

“This is Cassie.” A cute, curvy bartender gives me a sweet warm smile. She doesn’t look old enough to serve, but she must be.

“Would you like something to drink?” Cassie asks.

“No alcohol. She’s taking your place for the demo.”

“Oh, good.” Her relief is palpable. “How about a coke or water?”

“Water’s good.”

Cassie bustles around, and sets a glass of ice water with a lemon on the lip and a gold colored flexible straw in front of me.

I pick up the drink. “Even the water is fancy.”

“Delivery matters.”

I’m not dumb enough to think Stone’s talking about the water or event the club.

I nod and agree before sipping my water and searching the crowd for Alex once again.

“He’s not here yet. I’ll let you know when it’s time. You stay here with Cassie.”

I open my mouth to agree, but Stone has already turned away to tackle something else that requires his special brand of attention I’m sure. At least sitting down and getting Stone’s assistance has shrunk the dragons in my gut to grasshoppers. I’m still jumpy and nervous, but a hell of a lot closer to calm than I was.

Conversation with Cassie happens in a staccato sort of cadence in between her filling drink orders. The curls in her hair bounce along with her. She’s like the bubbles in Champagne. Going to school for business with an emphasis on human resources. She’s doing her classes online so she can save money while she works at the resort. Stone gave her the use of a studio apartment for as long as she’s an employee. A twenty-two year old has their shit more together than I do. Certainly more than I did at that age. But I’m working on it.

“It’s time.” Stone’s back, at my back probably blocking the view of me. “Why don’t you freshen up in the ladies room and then I’ll escort you to the entrance of the stage.”

I slip off the stool and quickly cross distance to the powder room. It’s an elegant space with a seating area and full length mirrors, behind that first wall are the sinks, and, through another opening, the stalls. I don’t have to go, probably slightly dehydrated from being at altitude in this dry climate. I wash my hands. My hair has grown back, but I’ve kept it short on the sides and back, a little longer on top. I fuss with a couple tendrils. My makeup still looks flawless which works out since I chose not to bring a bag. Nothing to leave behind but my dignity.

A sharp knock on the door. I open it and find Stone as I expected. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” I follow behind him, down the elevator, into the dungeon. There’s a low EDM track playing, people have moved to this room while I was hiding out in the bathroom. And now I need to pee. It’s just nerves. I will the false urge away with a couple of slow deep breaths.

Tyler takes the stage to welcome everyone to the Yacht Club and specifically the dungeon. People are still filing in, not quite as many as there were above but enough to fill the booths and padded chairs that were setup for the demonstrations. When I imagined doing this there were less people. Tyler announces Alex. My first glimpse leaves me breathless. He’s shirtless, in black leather pants. Not his jeans. His feet are bare and his blond hair has been recently cut. Good. God. Damn. The man is fine.

And he hates me.

“…will be joined by his parter for this demo.” Tyler glances over to the opposite side of the stage where I’ve been waiting behind Stone. I step forward. Tyler stutters. “SJ.”

Alex’s head whips in my direction. I kick off my flats and climb the two stairs barefoot. I’ve got my skirt undone by the time I make it to the center of the platform. I slide it down my legs and toss it on a padded bench a few feet back. Facing Alex, I slowly unlace my top. I pitch my voice so the crowd can hear me. “Alex is the most talented Shibari master you’ll ever have the privilege to see. He’s a good an honorable man who works hard every day. He cares for his friends, and he cares for the women he scenes with. At one time, he cared for me. But I messed that up.”

I pull the bustier free and clutch it nervously in my hands.

He hasn’t moved. Hasn’t said a word.

“I came here tonight to apologize to him and to anyone who saw the spectacle I made of myself at the soft opening.” I glance at the crowd. Amy has her hand over her mouth. Katherine is nodding in approval. “I desperately hope that what I did wasn’t unforgivable and that Alex will give me a chance to scene with him again.” I drop to my knees, press my forearms together and hold them up to him with my head bowed. “To be his little rabbit again. Because I love him.”

Silence fills the space. The crowd waits along with me for Alex to respond. The rope drops from his hand to coil on the floor, lifeless. His steps are silent as he walks away and my heart splits in two again.

“I can’t do this,” he says to Stone.

I drop my hands and curl into a ball. I fucked this up. I had no right to ask for his forgiveness especially in public. It seemed like the perfect apology in my head, until it played out. And I can see with complete clarity why he would walk away. Once again I wish I could take it all back.

Stone comes on stage. Grabs me and my skirt. As soon as I’m clear of the platform, he helps me put my top on. Tyler is back at the microphone announcing the next demonstration will start shortly, and talking about a special members only event coming up. I can’t follow the words. All I hear, pounding between my ears, is Alex saying he can’t do this.

“Come on.” Stone leads me out the back, up the barren stairway painted completely white. We exit from a door behind the kitchen which is still humming with activity and producing scents that only make my stomach churn harder. He walks over to a golf cart and I balk.

“I can get a ride share to the airport.”

“I thought you said you love him?” Stone glares at me, peeling away my layers.

“I do. More than he’ll ever know.”

“If you leave now, that’s true. Thought you were more of a fighter than that. You came here tonight dressed for the battle of your life and you’re giving up after one skirmish?”

I hate Stone a little in this moment because he’s right. “Alex said he can’t do this.”

“He’s lying to himself too. Been moping around the Sunflower, staring at the door to the room where you stayed every time he walks by. Hasn’t done a scene at all since your uncle blew up the soft opening. Dick move by the way.”

“He’s known for ‘em.”

“So he wins. He uses you like a dish rag and tosses you away. Sets Alex up to be railroaded. And you two are letting him make you both miserable. You lied about who you are and what the hell you were doing out here.” He points at me and it’s as if he stabbed me in place. “But you had the right reasons, or thought you did.”

“I nod. I thought he hurt my cousin who was once my best friend and is some of the only family I have left. And he has those pictures.”

“He uses those, and our lawyers will be up his ass so fast he’ll think he’s getting a drag race colonoscopy.”

I snort laugh. Who knew Stone could be funny. He pats the open space on the bench seat. I walk around the nose of the little cart decked out like a yacht, complete with faux walnut on the dash, and a ships wheel for a steering wheel. Kind of cheesy, but I like that they’re having some fun with this fancy-pants place.

“Where are we going?” I finally think to ask as we navigate the wide curved sidewalks.

“Alex’s place. I’ll let you in. You two work it out. A real apology. The knees thing was good. If it was me, I’d say naked and kneeling and dropping a sir as soon as I walk in the door. But Alex doesn’t care for that kind of protocol.”

No. He’s never once asked me to call him anything but Alex. And I’ve never wanted to be anything other than his little rabbit. “I’ll figure it out.”