& Then They Wed (Ampersand Love #2)

12. Food for the Soul

12

Food for the Soul

Rian

“ Y ou have a motorbike.”

“Umm, yes.”

Rian watched Aditi process this fact like he’d just opened a trunk full of drugs. Why she would behave this way was a mystery to him. He was having a hard time figuring out what Aditi was suffering from, because one thing was certain—she was not her usual self.

He'd only just returned from work when he'd found her trying to slip out, muttering furiously under her breath.

She was hungry, she'd explained, but his offer to cook for her had been declined with disconcerting politeness. Worried to let her roam about by herself, he’d proposed that they all go out together. Nanamma had suddenly announced that she was far too exhausted to join them, practically shooing them out the door before either could try and convince her to change her mind .

Which brought them here, in his underground garage, with Aditi staring at his BMW Roadster like it was a three-headed dog she’d been asked to harness.

“He has a bike,” she mumbled, not realising that he could hear her.

“It'll be faster to weave through traffic with this.”

She barely heard him. She’d woken up that morning after yet another raunchy dream featuring her oblivious housemate, frustrated that she was unable to find anything about him that would turn her off. His immediate support of her at his restaurant had only amped up whatever she’d already been feeling. Now, with the image of his strong, jean-clad thighs straddling a motorcycle, his defined biceps flexing as he adjusted his black jacket on himself, he’d just gotten exponentially sexier. How was she supposed to get over her crush like this ?

A sudden thought struck her, a mischievous little cackle resounding in her brain.

“Will you let me drive?” she asked. Say no, say no, say no. Be mean. Let me find one reason to dislike you just a little, please!

Rian extended his keys towards her and the indetectable smile she’d sported dropped.

Well, fuck you very much.

“You’re just going to give it to me?” Her dull reaction caused his brows to knit, confusion flickering across his handsome face.

“Is this a trick question?”

“Aren’t you scared I’m going to crash your expensive bike?” she asked, almost hoping he’d change his mind.

“You were riding one when we met in Velas. If you have problems with mine, I’m right here to help you.” He shuffled back, making space for her in the front.

To his consternation, Aditi declined. “Some other day. Besides, I don't know where we are going.”

She tossed him the keys, her feelings regarding the man she now sat behind ranging from disbelief over his sweetness to utter annoyance over the exact same thing. It was like someone had read the book-boyfriend manual and created Rian Shetty in that image.

It was impossible to remain vexed with him, she ruefully accepted. She observed him joke and tease the owner of the beachside stall he'd brought her to, throwing a friendly arm over one of the server boys as he introduced her to them. The joy with which these people had greeted Rian told her that he was a dear friend.

It never failed to impress her that despite being an heir to millions, Rian had the most normal life imaginable. It made him approachable in ways she had not expected.

His modest life, his behaviour, and commitment to his work had made more sense once he'd divulged that he'd not accepted his inheritance. It had been clear enough that there were familial tensions making it imperative for him to find his own path in life. Aditi recalled reading that the Shettys held major market shares in multiple businesses, the value of which kept them listed amongst the wealthiest families in India.

No one seeing him thus would have guessed that he came from such opulence.

She watched him engage with Chandan Lal, the owner of the most visited Pav Bhaji stall on this strip of Juhu Beach. The scent of seawater and spices made her mouth water, her stomach grumbling in anticipation of her meal. With the ocean waves swooshing on one side mixed with the sizzling sounds of vegetables being pan-fried nearby, she felt one with the energetic throng of hungry and happy beachgoers. Slowly, Aditi felt the tensions of her day beginning to fade away.

She giggled, good-naturedly joining Chandan Lal and Rian behind the counter, trying her hand at sauteing and mashing the vegetables on his massive cast-iron pan .

“You’re going to come back here everyday, Bhabhi,” Chandan joked, plating a generous portion for her. “Rian bhaiyya is always trying to steal my recipe but I will tell it to you for free.”

Aditi bit her lower lip, looking at Rian for direction when his friend addressed her as bhabhi, obviously under the misconception that they were a couple. To her surprise, he didn’t seem perturbed by this, busy forcing payment on a reluctant Chandan instead.

“Why did you not let me pay for our meal?” They took their plates and found seating outside, choosing to sit side by side so that they could watch the sunset while they ate.

“That’s never going to happen. When you’re with me, I pay. No arguments.”

“I don’t know if my feminism will survive you,” she teased, chuckling when he grumbled under his breath like an old man. “What? Was I meant to say ‘yes, Chef’ and roll over?”

Rian almost choked on his tongue, his entire body reacting to her calling him chef.

“How did you meet Chandan?” Aditi asked, blessedly giving him something else to focus on.

“I ate here often when I was roaming Mumbai for inspiration for the restaurant. Became friends with Chandan over time.” Rian motioned for her to take a bite.

Aditi pulled apart the fluffy buns that had been provided, a little sceptical about the copious amounts of butter that had been used to roast them. Maybe her misgivings showed on her face because Rian reached over and plucked the bread off her fingers, dipped it in the bhaji, and brought it to her lips.

Without a second thought, Aditi accepted the morsel of food, only realising how intimate the gesture was when her lips closed around his fingers. Her eyes darted to his, but all she saw in him was a curious excitement. A second later, his anticipation made sense. A world of flavours exploded in her mouth—spicy, salty, tangy, sharp. The soft bun made a perfect vehicle for the kaleidoscope of textures within the bhaji. The brightness of the cilantro and lime, and the heat of the chillis warred for recognition while butter enhanced the indulgence of the dish.

“Oh my god,” she moaned, closing her eyes, one hand unknowingly resting upon her heart as she tried to make sense of what she was tasting.

Rian took a mental picture of how Aditi looked, riveted by her obvious pleasure. You can put that look on her face without food involved, the devil on his shoulder whispered in his ear, his cock beginning to stir at the thought. He adjusted himself in his seat, stuffing his mouth with food before unholy ideas took root.

“No wonder you wanted to steal his recipe.” Aditi looked down in awe at her plate before she attacked it with a zeal akin to a hungry tiger hunting a deer.

“If you ever wonder why I’ve been taking you to these small, hole-in-the-wall restaurants, it's because they have the best food.”

“I believe you,” she mumbled, her mouth full. “This is incredible. Phenomenal. Stupendous. I’ll never be the same.”

Rian grinned at the theatrics, glad that Aditi was slowly starting to sound like herself again.

Happy to just be, they observed the slow descent of the sun flirting with the horizon that stretched ahead. The beauty of the golden glow infused a sense of calmness into the atmosphere, the comfortable silence punctuated by sounds of chewing and the occasional call of the crows overhead. There was a sense of contentment in that moment that wasn't often easy to find in their busy lives. Perhaps it was this that led Rian to admit, “I owe them everything.”

At Aditi’s look, he explained.

“The small-business owners, roadside cooks—they see the real Mumbai. When I was a young chef trying to understand the beat of this city, they were willing to teach me whatever they knew. No gatekeeping, no desire to make a buck off me. They represent the heart that makes Mumbai different. What I learnt from them is what makes The Mumbai Map resonate with people. I owe them my success.”

Aditi took a moment to let that sink in before reaching her clean hand for his. If her action surprised him, he didn’t show it, only waiting patiently for her to speak.

“I'm glad you're humble enough to remember their help. But don’t discount your hard work. I can’t let you be unfair to yourself.”

Rian glanced down at her thumb rubbing the back of his hand, feeling a link snap into place every time Aditi spoke of him with such conviction.

“How are you so sure of me?”

“I told you I’m observant. I’ve seen how hard you work. Besides, you’ve given me no reason not to believe in you.”

“In that case, believe in me that I’ll help you and tell me what’s been bothering you.”

Aditi’s hand slipped, not having expected the turn in their conversation.

“You were clearly not happy when I came home. What happened?”

“It’s a long story.”

“We have time.”

A look of discomfort and unsurety settled on her otherwise happy face.

“I used to be. . .bigger,” she began, somewhat uncomfortably. Her chest rose as she took in a deep breath, clearly preparing herself for what she had to say.

“I’ve struggled with fluctuating weight since my late teens,” she confessed, looking outwards instead of at him. “I became conscious of how I looked when I began to date in medical school. I knew I was never going to be that beautiful, skinny girl who everyone envied. But I tried. Crash diets and intense exercises became my go-to. It worked for a while. I went from plump to fashionably thin. That’s when I met Harish. The longer we were together, the more relaxed I became and the more I changed. Add to that the pressures of medical school and dieting dropped lower on my list of priorities. I was already too loud, too opinionated, too chaotic. When the weight gain happened, I also became too unattractive.”

A tremulous, embarrassed smile graced her face, but the hurt in her eyes from the mere recollection of these memories couldn’t be erased. The ache within him seemed to be a reflection of her pain. It felt like a travesty to have a day when Aditi Krishnan was not her joyous, confident self.

“Harish didn’t say anything outright at first. But there was always a disapproving comment here and there about my food consumption, whether I could afford the extra calories that day, maybe I should eat a salad for lunch instead of whatever I liked. By the time we broke up, I had ruined my relationship with food. I had convinced myself that I don’t like to eat.”

“But you’re a doctor!” Rian exclaimed, baffled that Aditi had struggled with this. “Of all people, you know why a good diet is important!”

“Bugs,” she chided in a gentle tone, shaking her head once. “Being a doctor is my profession. My contentious relationship with food was the result of the insecurities of a young woman in love. Those two are not mutually exclusive.”

Troubled by how much Aditi hid behind her happy-go-lucky facade, Rian asked, “But you’re better now?”

“Yes, I’m better now, but sometimes, those insecurities come back. Like today. That’s why I needed to eat something utterly delicious, even if it was late. To remind myself that I would miss out on things like this if I let that feeling win over me again.”

“What happened today?”

Aditi grimaced. “Harish made a comment along the lines of how I would never find someone because of how I am. One line, and he targeted my personality and appearance both. ”

“That little fucker.” Rian couldn’t hold back the curse.

“He didn’t approach me directly. I think he remembers your threat.” She scoffed, her mouth tilted in a sardonic twist. “Just made the comment in passing loud enough for the cafeteria to hear and the gossip to spread. People like having someone to talk about to distract themselves from their own issues.”

Rian wanted to say something to ease her pain. He wanted to admit that he thought she was amazing, that he was constantly in awe of her, that he saw her beautiful heart that competed with how beautiful he found her physically as well. But how did one say all this and still remain not-friends, as he so often insisted?

“I will never be with someone who will make me feel what Harish did, ever again. Like I need to be embarrassed of myself. Like I am not enough.” This was a vow she’d made to herself and planned to stick by. At his sombre look, she reached out and patted his hand, her lips curving up for his benefit.

True to form, she was reassuring him instead of letting him make her feel better. Had she never learned to lean on someone else? He knew how isolating and tiring it could feel, always being the one providing support instead of reaching for it.

Rian watched her finish the rest of her meal with gusto, flitting from topic to topic, laughing, sharing anecdotes, forcing him to stay involved and engaged. Not for a moment did he see her wallow in self-pity.

And all he could think of was that Aditi, with her wide smile, kind heart, sunny disposition, and innate strength, deserved someone who believed she made the world go around.

Because she was Aditi. And that was reason enough.